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Conquistador continues to insist annexation popular in Canada

“Many people in Canada LOVE being the 51st State. The United States can no longer suffer the massive Trade Deficits and Subsidies that Canada needs to stay afloat. Justin Trudeau knew this, and resigned. If Canada merged with the US, there would be no Tariffs, taxes would go way down, and they would be TOTALLY SECURE from the threat of the Russian and Chinese Ships that are constantly surrounding them. Together, what a great Nation it would be!!!” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Monday, celebrating the political demise of Justin Trudeau.

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“The ‘President Musk’ line was always going to be a way to get him”

In a podcast interview with other journalist Kara Swisher, New York Times Trump beat reporter Maggie Haberman confirmed that, just as expected, convicted felon President-Elect Trump has been angered by all the lib taunts that ketamine-brained billionaire Elon Musk is actually in charge, the Daily Beast reports on the libs piercing the flabby orange skin of the demented old slob.

“It definitely bothers him,” said Haberman. “The ‘President Musk’ line was always going to be a way to get him. Trump’s not a wind-up toy, but there certainly are very specific things that can zotz him.”

“Zotz” is not in the standard Google Chrome spellcheck dictionary. In real words, Haberman predicted the doors of 1600 Pennsylvania may not be as open to the maniacal titan as Mar-a-Lago’s. “I don’t anticipate that Musk is going to have an office in the West Wing. I don’t even know that he will have a blue pass to wander around,” she said, with “blue pass” referring to an unlimited visitor pass. Haberman said that Musk’s money and willingness to threaten Republicans with primary challenges is going to buy him more time, but it’s getting rockier and rockier as Trump’s minions tire of having “Leon” around, not to mention he can “irritate” Donald himself. “It’s like watching shifting sands around Trump. It’s like this one’s up, this one’s down, but nobody’s ever totally out.”

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Surprise! Trump didn’t do his homework

You will not be surprised to learn that convicted felon President-Elect Trump cannot, in fact, “unban it immediately,” as according to Axios, “Unlike executive orders that Trump could overturn with the stroke of a pen, Biden’s actions rely on an open-ended provision in the 1953 Outer Continental Shelf Lands Act. This law governs energy leasing activities for submerged lands under US control that are beyond three miles from shore. A provision in the act allows the president to permanently take parts of the Outer Continental Shelf off the table for leasing activities, without providing a means for another president to undo the action.” Meaning Biden effectively pardoned the areas from drilling.

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BlueSky > Truth Social in November

Twitter clone BlueSky, which is fun but still isn’t quite up to par with “X” in terms of features, nonetheless eclipsed shithole Twitter clone Truth Social in November 2024 when measured by unique visitors, 5,352,000 for BlueSky to 4,250,000 for Truth Social, the Righting reports.

“Bluesky’s huge year-over-year growth is not surprising because the platform only opened registrations to the general public in February 2024,” said TheRighting’s Howard Polskin. “However Bluesky is already attracting more monthly unique visitors than Truth Social which launched to the public in February 2022 and has benefited greatly by Mr Trump’s constant use of his platform.”

So popular is BlueSky among the libs who left Twitter that MAGA trolls started opening accounts to get more friction and the Chicoms can’t figure out how to make their propaganda work there.

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Justin Trudeau to resign Monday

Reports of the demise of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s political demise were not premature as on Monday morning he will announce he’s quitting as leader of the Liberal Party in a press conference scheduled for 10:45 AM EDT, the CBC reports. Trudeau hanging it up will set off a several month search for a new chair, during which he’ll remain in the premiership.

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Orange God Emperor says Washington Post “fake news” in reporting he’s backing down from suicidally stupid tariff plan

“The story in the Washington Post, quoting so-called anonymous sources, which don’t exist, incorrectly states that my tariff policy will be pared back. That is wrong. The Washington Post knows it’s wrong. It’s just another example of Fake News,” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump.

The Post had reported on Monday that Trump’s minions were looking at modifying the plan to make the tariffs “universal” but limited to critical sectors like steel, iron, aluminum, copper, medical supplies, batteries, rare earth minerals, and solar panels while leaving consumer goods alone.

“The potential change reflects a recognition that Trump’s initial plans – which would have been immediately noticeable in the price of food imports and cheap consumer electronics – could prove politically unpopular and disruptive,” the article says and yeah, no shit it might’ve been smart to not do one of the things that will increase such pain when the whole reason he got elected was because low-info voters sick of paying higher prices didn’t get the memo that they’re going to pay even more.

Lucky for them that Trump lies all the time so he could just be lying again now in that post.

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Team Orange to appeal Friday Manhattan sentencing

“By virtue of President Trump’s filing of appellate proceedings raising his claims of Presidential immunity, all proceedings in this Court are automatically stayed by operation of federal constitutional law. In the alternative, even if such a stay were discretionary, the Court should grant such a stay. The Court should vacate the sentencing hearing scheduled for January 10, 2025, and suspend all further deadlines in the case until President Trump’s immunity appeals are fully and finally resolved, which should result in a dismissal of this case, which should have never been brought in the first place. Further, President Trump respectfully requests that this Court notify the parties by Monday, January 6, 2025, at 2 pm, whether the Court intends to proceed with the sentencing hearing on January 10, 2025, which should not occur, notwithstanding President Trump’s interlocutory appeal on immunity, to allow sufficient time for President Trump to seek an emergency appellate review,” wrote convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s shitbag lawyers in a Monday notice of intent to appeal Judge Juan Merchan’s ruling upholding the guilty verdict.

By all means they should drag this out as long as possible so that Merchan can change his mind about not sentencing the fat fuck to incarceration in a state penitentiary in 2029.

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Fox Corporation refusing to pay for damage to breast implants

Actress Denise Richards, who starred in Starship Troopers and Wild Things before she turned 30 and her agent stopped calling, on Friday told a podcaster that the Fox Corporation won’t pay for the damage incurred to her breast implants incurred during filming of an episode of the broadcast network’s military training-themed reality TV show Special Forces, Entertainment Weekly reports.

“No, I have to pay the price. I think I pretty much signed our life away doing that show. It’s dangerous!” Richards said in response to a question of whether the Murdoch media empire would pick up the tab for the ruptured implants. Richards said she was jumping off a bridge while filming on of the competition series’ stunts when the harness she was wearing caused one or both of her silicone implants to burst. “I still have to get them redone. I was supposed to a month ago but I couldn’t because we were filming. So yeah, no, I still have to get them redone,” said Richards.

Entertainment Weekly describes Richards’ opponents in Special Forces Season 3 “Stephen Baldwin, Kyla Pratt, Bachelorette alums Trista Sutter and Ali Fedotowsky, The Hills star Brody Jenner, the NFL’s Cam Newton, former Disney star Christy Carlson Romano, and more,” as an “all-star cast.”

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Freight train hobo apparently didn’t think car would be that cold

From a Sunday morning Vandalia, Ohio Fire Department Facebook post: “In the early hours of the morning, crews were dispatched to the Metroparks by the train tracks on a cold emergency. Crews were told that the patient was traveling from Kentucky in one of the train cars, and the patient got stuck inside the train car and was suffering from cold exposure. Crews had to work for a period of time to extricate the patient from the train car. Patient was taken to a local hospital. This is one of those calls that goes to show, we have to be prepared for anything. Great job to the crews on working a complex call and providing top-tier service,” which obviously is a little on the vague side.

They almost made it sound like it was a passenger train where the guy had bought a ticket, fell asleep in his seat, and got locked in the car at the overnight rail yard by a careless conductor who didn’t bother to check if anyone was still on board. WHIO reports that was not at all the case as freight train company CSX told the TV station in a statement that they called the fire department after their crew spotted a “trespasser standing on top of a train,” at about 3:20 AM on Sunday.

Put together it all strongly suggests that a freight train hobo was not properly equipped for interstate overnight travel in January during a “Polar vortex” weather event and was shivering too hard to be able to climb up and out of what looks like an open-top “gondola”-type rail car typically used for transporting mineral ore. Sounds like a hobo rookie mistake and a nearly fatal one at that.

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Party City was worried about “safety risk” to team visiting China

Last month in their reporting about the demise of national chain Party City, CNN had dropped a vague but tantalizing anecdote about an ominous sign that had foretold of the company’s collapse, writing their “product development team was recalled two weeks ago from its yearly trip with vendors and told to return home immediately, according to a former Party City corporate office employee.The team was told the company believed the trip posed a safety risk, because Party City had stopped paying its suppliers,” emphasis ours on the threats of violence not typically associated with the normal course of operations in corporate America, even in a bankrupt shitshow.

National Zero found that particular detail intriguing and now finally CNN has followed up and explained that the product development team were actually in China at the time and yeah, that’s probably legitimately a safety risk if they owed money. “This was disgraceful. Don’t know how else to say it,” an employee who had been on the China trip told CNN. “I just can’t sit back and say this is OK. It was scary. We left our families for this company, and you sent us there and you left us out to dry.” The article contains nothing explicit about the threats, just an example of a sternly worded email from a Chinese-based Halloween costume supplier from September 7th saying “We have provided you all your orders in due time. You will make your money as you got your costumes. 50 percent of payment is obviously not enough to recover even only raw materials payments.”

“One of our agents in China suggested we leave,” another employee on the trip said. “He said ‘I think you should leave the country and not stay another night. It doesn’t sound good. It’s risky.'”

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Trudeau resignation imminent: report

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is expected to announce his resignation as leader of the Tim Hortons country’s Liberal Party – and thus the premiership – as soon as Monday, or at least ahead of the party’s big national caucus meeting on Wednesday, the Globe and Mail reports.

The imminent end of Trudeau’s nearly decade-long reign leading Canada is seen as direct consequence of convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s upcoming second reich and the threat of 25 percent tariffs that would seriously fuck up the economies of both countries. Even without Trump, Trudeau had been facing a revolt within his party over other economic matters like rebates and something called a “GST holiday,” with Tories claiming a shit ton of support in national polling.

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“Home Improvement” star no longer conservative: Fox News

“‘Home Improvement’ star Zachery Ty Bryan is sick of his fellow actors pushing their political views on their fans. ‘As an actor, I think one of the first things that you’re taught is it’s the fans that make you who you are,’ Bryan told Fox & Friends Friday. ‘And a lot of those fans are watching in Middle America.’ Bryan said he doesn’t understand why Hollywood stars think they are better than their fans just because they’re in the public eye. ‘I think there’s kind of been this narcissism created now that because you’re in the public eye, all of a sudden you know more than the normal Joe Schmoe which just isn’t the case,'” reported Fox News on August 17, 2018, following said Bryan interview.

“Bryan’s comments come in response to stars like Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick urging their fans to vote against President Trump and ‘be on the right side of history,'” continued Fox’s article promoting the above three minute, three second long-segment on their own channel that came as the country was entering the home stretch toward that ultra-heated midterm election.

Then on January 3, 2025, Fox News reported “Authorities arrested Zachery Ty Bryan for domestic violence on Thursday, Fox News Digital can confirm. The former child star remained incarcerated as of Friday, according to Horry County (South Carolina) Sheriff’s Office records. Bryan has been charged with domestic violence in the second degree,” and that this is his third arrest in under a year following a DWI in California last February and another in Oklahoma in October.

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Winter Storm X Æ A-Xii hits from Kansas to New Jersey

Up to 60 million people from Kansas to New Jersey were hit with advisories, warnings, and watches for heavy snow, sleet, and icy winds as Winter Storm X Æ A-Xii moved from the central US toward the East Coast Sunday into Monday, Reuters reports. Washington DC itself faced between six and 12 inches of snow on Monday, the day over 10,000 violent Antifa rioters being led by Deep State FBI and NSA agents arriving on ghost buses are supposed to sack the United States Capitol to prevent convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s victory from being certified by Congress.

The governors of Kansas, Kentucky, Arkansas, West Virginia, and Virginia all declared states of emergency, allowing FEMA to come steal their snowplows and road salt or whatever the MAGA conspiracy will be this time. At least the storm itself will again prove global warming is a hoax.

Like The Weather Channel does of its own initiative for no discernible purpose whatsoever, National Zero refers to winter storms by non-canonical names of our own choosing – such as “Wasserman-Schultz,” “Kitara,” and “X Æ A-Xii.” Those Weather Channel assholes are calling this one “Blair,” lol.

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Florida HVAC contractor’s cover blown

A covert HVAC contractor masquerading as a CIA agent found his cover blown on Wednesday when a Florida State Highway Patrol trooper saw he had activated the fake red and blue flashing lights mounted on his Ford F-150 and pulled him over on Wednesday, the Independent reports.

It’s not clear how long 61 year-old registered Republican Jorge Alberto Alfonso had been working undercover as a CIA agent or whether any actual personnel with the feared intelligence agency had been duped by the HVAC contractor, let alone ever even been in contact with him. The same goes for the US Diplomatic Security Service, Interpol, and the British MI-6 – agencies which Alfonso was found to be possessing various documents, patches, etc falsely identifying him as in service to.

The traffic stop, initiated after the trooper observed the lights on and a woman in the front passenger seat “waving her arms, appearing upset or distressed,” really went south for Alfonso when he “identified himself as a federal agent, providing a CIA Counter Terrorism Unit ID, a CIA emblem coin in a badge wallet, and an MI-6 [sic] ID,” according to the arrest report. Asked for his affiliation, Alfonso demonstrated the talent for deception and resistance to interrogation HVAC officials are known for, simply saying “federal.” The trooper then placed Alfonso under arrest.

A search of the vehicle at least a half-dozen firearms, assorted passports, including blank ones, federal agency badges, bulletproof vests, money, jewelry, and pills in unmarked bottles, according to the police report. Alfonso was booked on felony false personation of a law enforcement officer and misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance without a prescription. He hasn’t posted bond yet and remains in Collier County Jail pending a hearing on January 30th, unless maybe he uses his HVAC skills to find a duct wide enough for him to crawl out and escape from the joint.

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Thune doesn’t say Trump’s mass deportation plans realistic

Asked by NBC’s Kristen Welker on Sunday whether it’s realistic to be able to deport millions of undocumented immigrants as convicted felon President-Elect Trump and his minions have pledged, new Senate Majority Leader John Thune on Sunday did not say no, but he wasn’t anywhere close to yes either, simply saying it’s going to take a shit ton of resources that aren’t there yet.

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Manhattan congestion pricing plan kicks in

Starting Sunday drivers entering New York City’s Manhattan below 60th Street will be charged $9 from 5 am to 9 pm on weekdays and 9 am to 9 pm on weekdays – and $2.50 each outside of those hours – with the exceptions being the West Side Highway, the FDR Drive along the East River, and a street used to traverse to the Hugh L Carey Tunnel to and from Brooklyn, WCBS reports.

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Mike Johnson insists border connection to New Orleans attack should be “obvious,” does not have any evidence of connection yet

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Sunday told Fox News idiot Maria Bartiromo “the terrorism threat that would be obvious with an open border” was somehow responsible for the horrific ISIS-inspired attack that took the lives of 15 innocent people in his home state of Louisiana.

Then in the very next breath, Johnson added “We don’t know the direct correlation yet, the investigation is ongoing with how much this was involved with an open border, whether some of the materials etc came over that way. But we do know that this is something that reminds us again that the new Trump nominees for these important positions need to be in place as quickly as possible.”

Johnson also pledged to have a giant mega bill covering deportations, tax cuts, border security, and a whole bunch of other shit ready for the House by April, which is, uh, pretty ambitious.

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New Melania documentary marks big comeback for director

“Amazon Prime Video has exclusively licensed an upcoming documentary film for both theatrical and streaming release that will give viewers an unprecedented, behind-the-scenes look at First Lady Melania Trump. The project is executive produced by Fernando Sulichin (New Element Media) and Mrs Trump – with Brett Ratner (RatPac Entertainment) attached to direct. Filming began in December 2024, with an anticipated release in the second half of 2025. Prime Video will be sharing more details on the project as filming progresses and release plans are finalized. We are excited to share this truly unique story with our millions of customers around the world” says a press release from Amazon, not saying but making it clear “Jeff Bozo” is dedicated to Trump ballsuckery.

Also left unsaid in the statement is that this is former Hollywood big shot Brett Ratner’s comeback in the film business after seven years of semi-retirement, with his most recent credit from 2019 as a producer for Georgetown, the directorial debut of the utterly brilliant German character actor Christoph Waltz, that had been shelved for a year and a half after filming wrapped in fall 2017.

With that lone exception, Ratner’s list of credits, which included directing the Rush Hour trilogy of action comedies, Silence of The Lambs prequel Red Dragon, and X-Men: The Last Stand, and as producer/EP for The Lego Ninjago Movie and the two Horrible Bosses comedies, abruptly dropped off in 2017 when the #MeToo movement named him as a prolific piece of shit. Among Ratner’s “credits” in that line of work were a former talent agency staffer accusing him of rape, actresses Olivia Munn and Natasha Henstridge accusing him of other various acts of assault and harassment such as following an actress into a restroom and jerking off in front of a female production assistant.

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Psychic can’t even figure out which asshole smashed their window

The proprietor of a Florida “psychic” establishment can’t even divine which asshole threw an “object” through the front window of their business in the town of Pinecrest, let alone the identity of the person who even tossed it, causing over $1,000 in damages, WPLG reports.

The vandalism incident occurred at approximately 9 PM on December 23rd, according to local police and not the Professor X wannabe who’s supposed to be prescient enough to be there to stop the likely drunk son of a bitch from throwing an “object” into the front window of their business.

“We have a subject goes to the front of business as quickly as it happened and he leaves through alleyway. We want to be able to find this guy and hold him responsible,” said Pinecrest Police Chief Jason Cohen, using the collective “we” as in the police department and not the victim of the vandalism, whose powers are obviously pretty fucking useless when it comes to solving this crime.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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