Category: Uncategorized

Russian dictator Vladimir Putin has apparently decided his ambitions for a sphere of influence in West Africa might be a little less important than countering a literal invasion of his country and has ordered at least 100 of his “Bear Brigade” men stationed in Burkina Faso back home to fight off Ukrainian troops on the ground in the Kursk Region of Mother Russia, the BBC reports.

A couple might have avoided getting arrested last week for shoplifting $1,000 worth of sunglasses and shit from a Nordstrom Rack store in Oklahoma City if the husband hadn’t fallen asleep when he was supposed to be looking out for security guards and police, KFOR reports.

Brandon Burkholtz was leaning up against a wall inside the outlet department store’s location on Belle Isle Boulevard when he nodded off while wife Candis Garner was pilfering the items, missing the cues that cops were closing in. After she was cuffed, Garner yelled, “Thanks for telling me the cops were here,” at her husband. Police began questioning Burkholtz and one way or another they found probably cause to put him under arrest too. Both were charged with felony larceny.

The erectile dysfunction-themed Donald Trump biopic The Apprentice, which fell off the radar a while ago as pressure from right wingers threatened to doom the film to be shelved until after the election, if ever, will actually end up hitting theaters this October 11th as producer Tom Ortenberg’s Briarcliff Films managed to acquire it, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

We have no way of knowing whether or not this movie would have ended up seeing the light of day pre-November if Joe Biden hadn’t dropped out of the race. It was obvious however that at least part of the reluctance of domestic distributors to pick it up stemmed from fear of retaliation by a second Trump Reich, making it hard not to notice the deal coming after a change of political circumstances.

Pennsylvania MAGA Congressman Dan Meuser didn’t really have such a positive experience on CNN Sunday morning, whining about how Kamala Harris’s interview wasn’t a trainwreck, and squirmed over questions about convicted felon former President Trump’s racial malevolence toward Harris and his campaign event at Arlington National Cemetery on Monday, claiming it’s “meaningless” and a “sideshow.”

“Kamala Harris’s campaign handlers were no doubt giving each other high-fives on Thursday night watching their candidate’s interview on CNN. The Vice President got away for the most part with repeating her campaign’s platitudes about ‘the middle class’ and ‘a new way forward’ and was never seriously challenged on anything. That’s a shame because the voters still haven’t received a straight answer about whether, and how, she has changed her views from the far-left positions she espoused in 2019 as a presidential candidate,” wrote the Wall Street Journal’s douchey editorial board late Thursday, plainly let down by the lack of any real gaffes or verbal fuckups in the Veep’s performance during the CNN interview with Dana Bash after the Journal’s editorial board and others in both the mainstream and right wing media sphere had spent weeks agitating for a sit-down.

Horserace-y tip sheet Politico Playbook figured if they couldn’t bring themselves to giving Harris a solid review in her own right they would at least cast it as bad for the fat felon: “Overall, the interview suggested to us how tough Donald Trump’s job is now – and especially at the Sept 10 debate. His two main areas of attack are to cast her as left-wing and to tie her to the unpopular Biden. Last night, Harris showed how she will defend herself against both of those charges.”

Meanwhile Axios struggled to make lemons out of lemonade, writing “In a reflection of her campaign’s ‘move forward’ theme, Harris couldn’t bring herself to repeat a word that CNN’s Dana Bash used to describe the president’s approach to lowering unemployment and tackling high prices: ‘Bidenomics.’ Instead, Harris carefully took credit for America’s post-COVID economic recovery and lowering drug costs while acknowledging there’s more work to do… Harris is making a delicate argument. She’s pushing plans to turbocharge an economy her boss insists is already humming.”

Bidenflation dropped to 2.2 percent in the Eurozone during August, the AP reports, showing that but that means prices are still up for hard-working Europeans struggling to put baguettes on the table.

We could sure use some mean tweets from former European President Donald Trump right about now. The price of a litre of petrol was lower when he was in charge of Europe. Kamala Harris is a Europe-last Vice President. Allons-y Brandeun!!! Trump 2024! MAKE EUROPE GREAT AGAIN!

MAGA Ohio Congressman Max Miller – a former Trump White House and campaign aide alleged to have punched his ex-girlfriend, former Press Secretary Steph Grisham in response to accusations of infidelity during their relationship in 2020 – is filing for divorce from wife Emily Moreno, daughter of assclown Buckeye State Republican Senate candidate Bernie Moreno, just 10 months after Emily gave birth to their daughter and a little over two months before election day, the Daily Mail reports.

It’s that last part that’s insane. Obviously Miller’s a piece of shit for lying about being a recruiter in the Marine Corps separate and apart from being publicly accused of domestic abuse. And if he was getting divorced or it was just the state party’s Senate candidate’s daughter getting divorced it’s whatever, shit happens. But that it’s both is just… What the fuck is so bad about this woman that Miller can’t at least publicly pretend everything’s fine for another 10 weeks and then file for divorce rather than create a distraction for both campaigns? Who needs this kind of headache now?

Congressional Democrats are at the very least saying they want a full investigation of convicted felon former President Trump’s Monday disgraceful campaign stop at Arlington National Cemetery, with Hudson Valley New York Congressman Pat Ryan, an Iraq War veteran, telling Axios “In the coming days, I’ll be talking with my colleagues – especially military veterans, from both sides of the aisle – about the proper next steps to ensure oversight and accountability. This is sacred ground. We must not allow anyone to sully it with campaign theatrics.” Mainer Jared Golden, a Mini-Manchin and Marine vet who represents the state’s MAGA 2nd District, said “all visitors should take the time to learn the rules of decorum that ensure the proper respect is given to the fallen and their families.”

Of course it’s probably not going anywhere in the House, so it’s really the Senate Ds that need to take the lead on this – which means nothing’s going to happen. “As a member of the Armed Services Committee, I am troubled by the reporting and want to see the incident report,” said Virginia Senator Tim Kaine and we’ll believe it when we see him and other Senate Dems making this actually happen.

MAGA Florida Congressman Mike Waltz, a veteran who was present Monday said the prohibition on campaigning “was apparently some rule buried somewhere that was selectively brought up.”

Vice President and Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris plans on unsettling her felonious opponent in their planned September 10th debate along with prepping on potential subject topics, NBC News reports.  Harris has spent time over the past months prepping for the debate–first for the pending Republican VP pick that is presently JD Vance, then for Trump–but her team has added components to her responses designed to rattle Trump.

The goals:  make Trump defensive, when he’ll make outlandish statements; remind people of how unsettled their lives were with Trump in DC; and demonstrate that Harris is calm and composed in the face of a raving madman. Harris’s team is also preparing her for moments when Trump could raise issues regarding her gender or heritage.

Harris shouldn’t need a lot of prep on how to debate other than to increase her knowledge of policy topics.  Trump will rely on boasting about his toughness, his crowd sizes and his personal friendships with dictators rather than any specific data.  As a former prosecutor, Harris will eviscerate Trump’s claims.

One of the first Ukrainian pilots trained to fly the American fighter jet died when his F-16 crashed on Monday while on a mission to shoot down Russian drones and missiles, CNN reports.  The cause of the crash is unclear, but Ukrainian officials say they do not believe pilot error was the cause.

Oleksiy Mes, known by the call sign “Moonfish,” was one of the vocal advocates for the US and other nations to train pilots and provide F-16s to Ukraine.  Officials say Moonfish was moving from one set of targets to another when controllers lost communication with him.

In a filing Thursday evening, attorneys for Donald Trump filed a motion in federal court begging it for the second time to take over the Manhattan criminal conviction appeal, hoping to find a friendlier forum to overturn the 34-count conviction for financial crimes, the Washington Post reports.

Citing the High Court’s decision that gave Oval Office holders immunity for official acts, the lawyers wrote, “The U.S. Supreme Court recently ruled that these types of violations threaten the structure of the federal government and the ability of future Presidents to carry out their vital duties in the way the Framers intended.”

The move is done in desperation:  Judge Juan Merchan is scheduled to rule on Trump’s attempt to dismiss the case based on presidential immunity on September 16th.  Two days later–assuming Merchan does not throw out the case–Trump is scheduled to be sentenced.

We’re not going to show too much of the Malevolent Melon’s town hall in LaCrosse, Wisconsin, so we’ll just show the highlight, which involves Trump making every possible campaign promise but failing to say how he’ll actually accomplish this.

We’re gonna start that up.  We’re gonna become the energy capital of the world.  We’re gonna pay down our debt and we’re gonna reduce your taxes still further, and your groceries are gonna come tumbling down and your interest rates are gonna be tumbling down and then you’re gonna go out and you’re gonna buy a beautiful house, okay?  You’re gonna buy a beautiful house.  That’s called the American dream.  The American dream.  Thank you.

Incidentally, the question Trump was asked came from a student who wanted to know what Trump would do to help reduce the burden of student loan debt.

New Jersey state Democratic leaders selected Nellie Pou, a state senator from Bergen County, to replace the late Congressman Bill Pascrell on November’s ballot in the dark blue 9th Congressional District, NBC News reports.  Pascrell died August 21st after a fighting a month’s long respiratory infection at the age of 87.

“Nellie Pou is the ideal public servant to succeed Rep. Pascrell and continue his life’s mission of building a stronger, fairer, and more inclusive New Jersey,” Democratic Governor Phil Murphy said in a statement Wednesday.  Biden beat Trump by 19 percentage points in the district in the 2020 election.

Convicted felon former President Trump’s team on Thursday “clarified” to Semafor that the fat bastard did not actually say he was going to personally vote yes on Florida’s abortion rights amendment, despite him telling NBC earlier that “six weeks is too short, it has to be more time, and I’ve told them that I want more weeks, I am going to be voting that we need more than six weeks.”

“He has not yet said how he will vote on the ballot initiative in Florida, he simply reiterated that he believes six weeks is too short,” a Trump minion told Semafor, even though “I am going to be voting that we need more than six weeks,” is pretty much confirming yes, he’s voting for it.

BREAKING: I have gotten ahold of the full Kamala Harris CNN interview. pic.twitter.com/c6nfcJrFJy

— JD Vance (@JDVance) August 29, 2024

Republican Vice Presidential nominee and Nick Offerman ripoff JD Vance thought he’d continue his streak of misogyny and idiocy by posting a clip of Miss Teen South Carolina USA Caitlin Upton giving a legendary ditzy answer to a pageant question, claiming that this is how Vice President Kamala Harris, a former courtroom prosecutor, would sound in Thursday’s interview.

Is now a good time to remind people that JD’s running mate bragged about walking into the girl’s dressing room when he owned beauty pageants so he could get a cheap peak at the contestants as they were in various states of dress.  … ’cause that’s not weird at all.  (For the record, Upton competed in the Miss USA pageants, not the Miss America pageants once owned by Trump.)

A new set of swing state surveys by Bloomberg and Morning Consult finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump in every one of the battlegrounds except for Arizona where they’re tied at 48 percent each. Next, Harris is up 49 to 47 percent in both Georgia and North Carolina, 49 to 46 percent in Michigan, 49 to 45 percent in Nevada, 51 to 47 percent in Pennsylvania, 52 to 44 percent in Wisconsin and damn this is going to piss off the fanboys.

Bloomberg/Morning Consult was particularly rough for Joe Biden. In April Trump led in every state except Michigan and by 6 percent in the aggregate. This set finds Harris up +2 in the aggregate.

In the second 1990s office culture throwback story of the day that somehow manages to be considerably darker than the first one, NBC News reports that a 60 year-old Arizona woman employed by Wells Fargo was found dead in her cubicle on August 20th – four days after she had last scanned in with her keycard – and her coworkers only found her after they noticed a foul odor.

“We are deeply saddened by the tragic loss of our colleague at our Tempe office. Our thoughts and prayers are with their family and loved ones during this difficult time,” the deeply corrupt bank said in a statement, making it clear they were saddened by the negative publicity stemming from no one being aware of Denise Prudhomme’s apparent Friday, August 16th death until Tuesday, August 20th.

Seriously how fucked up is this company that her supervisor in this Tempe office didn’t at the very least notice on Monday morning that she hadn’t clocked out the previous Friday and called her to check in if nobody otherwise dropped by her cubicle as part of regular interaction? We hate to say fucking Scott Adams was right about this sort of dystopian shit, but damn. He really was.

An initial CNN preview of Vice President Kamala Harris’s first sit-down with the network indicates that the veep handled the questions pretty well. Bash asked about the shifts from Harris’s failed 2019 campaign with “How should voters look at some of the changes that you’ve made? Is it because you have more experience now and you’ve learned more about the information? Is it because you were running for president in a Democratic primary? And should they feel comfortable and confident that what you’re saying now is going to be your policy moving forward?”

To which Harris answered: “I think the most important and most significant aspect of my policy perspective and decisions is my values have not changed. You mentioned the Green New Deal. I have always believed – and I have worked on it – that the climate crisis is real, that it is an urgent matter to which we should apply metrics that include holding ourselves to deadlines around time.”

Solid. Separately Bash hyped the interview’s airing by telling the Washington Post’s Matt Viser that Harris said “that it was maybe TMI, but that she wanted to tell us the story of how that happened. You have to wait till [the 9 PM Eastern airing of the interview] for that TMI story.”

Convicted felon former President Trump will deliver an “economic”-themed speech Potterville, Michigan on Thursday but who the hell knows how long he’ll stick to that before he starts in with whining about Kamala Harris being the Dem nominee and some shit about batteries and sharks.