A marketing vehicle driver lost control of their wiener on a highway in Illinois on Monday morning, smashing into two other cars and causing a huge mess, the Chicago Tribune reports.
Luckily no one was injured when the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled over in the accident, as apparently the giant wiener is harder than it looks. It’s unclear if the vehicle is still roadworthy or if needs to be polished a little bit before it can resume being snickered at during its travels.
Well when we say “rave” we mean “raving,” because one demented senior posted “Why does Fox News put on Eric Swalwell (Martha!), the total sleazebag Congressman from California? Where is his Chinese Spy girlfriend? What is wrong with FoxNews? It’s RINO Paul Ryan’s fault!” in response.
Now via the AP, here’s the actual Kamala Harris 2024 campaign’s haul in the 24 hours since she launched it: $81 million out of the $95 million-plus raised on ActBlue, the most successful single day in presidential history, coming from over 880,000 individual donors. Get those boat parades started.
Dipshit RNC co-chair Lara Trump explained it away by saying they were simply “millionaires and billionaires” donating on Fox News, ignoring the part about the vast number of individuals.
The US Supreme Court on Monday ordered the State of New York to respond by Wednesday to Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey’s moronic lawsuit over “election interference” for prosecuting convicted felon former President Trump, John Solomon’s shitty website reports.
What this actually means – as in whether its standard procedure or if Los Supremos are actually entertaining this stupid bullshit – we don’t know. State on state lawsuits are the only instance in which the Supreme Court becomes a trial court and in a trial court a defendant has to make some sort of initial response to a complaint, no matter how frivolous and ball-sucking it may be.
Republican official introducing JD Vance at Trump rally: “If we lose this election, it's going to take a civil war to save the country” pic.twitter.com/KEH0fTAHBd
— Kamala HQ (@KamalaHQ) July 22, 2024
For a site that plucks way too much friggin content from Twitter, we’re mostly pretty loathe to count the numbers of followers as a metric given its dubious relevance to politics. That said, even the effect is largely unquantifiable, more than twice as many people seeing this kind of sick shit above than there was 24 hours ago when the account was “Biden-Harris HQ” is worth noting here.
“Somebody please explain to Rep James Clyburn, not the brightest bulb in the House, that I am beating the Biden/Harris Prosecutors, like Deranged Jack Smith, whose case against me in Florida, ‘the biggest of them all’ according to the Radical Left Lunatics, was just ‘thrown out’ as being Unconstitutional. Now it is my time to sue them for illegally breaking into, and raiding, Mar-a-Lago.”
“All of these Biden/Harris cases against me are a Weaponization of Justice against their Political Opponent, Me – Strictly Third World Country. MAGA2024!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Monday after taking a seven hour break from social media. Looking forward to the lawsuit.
Dem fundraising platform ActBlue has processed more than $95 million in small-dollar donations in the 24 hours since President Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 campaign, utterly stomping the $34 million WinRed pulled in after fat former President Trump was convicted on 34 felonies in May.
“Today, it is with immense pride and limitless optimism for our country’s future that I endorse Vice President Kamala Harris for President of the United States. My enthusiastic support for Kamala Harris for President is official, personal and political,” says former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in a statement, moving quicker than the other Dem chieftains – Obama, Schumer, Jeffries – to back the new presumptive nominee after forcing President Biden out of the campaign.
Sources tell the Washington Post that brainwormed Independent presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr spoke with convicted felon former president Donald Trump about endorsing Donald’s campaign and taking a job in a second Trump Reich, overseeing an anti-vax portfolio. The Post writes that the talks, some of which were caught on tape and leaked, “did not result in an agreement amid concerns in Trump’s orbit about the complications about promising a job in exchange for a political endorsement, according to the people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe private conversations.” As if “ethics” actually mattered to Trump and his crew.
“All I will say to you is I am willing to talk to anybody from either political party who wants to talk about children’s health and how to end the chronic disease epidemic,” Bobby told the Post, adding that Trump has been more open to him than the Democratic Party. “I have a lot of respect for president Trump for reaching out to me. Nobody from the DNC, high or low, has ever reached out to me in 18 months. Instead they have allocated millions to try to disrupt my campaign.”
Republican Taunton, Massachusetts Mayor Shaunna O’Connell on Monday issued a statement admitting that she and her husband Ted have “had challenges,” after 27 years together and they’ve been “working through marital issues,” the Taunton Daily Gazette reports on a statement made to explain why the mayor was to be arraigned in court that morning on charges of assault and battery on a household member plus assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.
“During an argument, Ted involved the police and regrets making that decision. We ask for privacy for our family on personal matters as we work through this matter,” the statement continued.
All the Daily Record knows is that he cops showed up to the O’Connell house on Friday night and her honor was in front of a judge this morning. Must’ve been pretty good. Mayor O’Connell looks like what one of the lower-quality AI image generators would spit out if you typed in “Karen.”
Vice President Kamala Harris will on Monday make her first public appearance as presumptive nominee for the Democratic ticket… at a White House reception for champ NCAA teams that Joe Biden was supposed to headline but was benched due to COVID. Harris was probably penciled in for this even before Biden dropped out of the race on Sunday, so expect a lot of scripted lines about the importance of college sports at the top but hopefully she’ll take questions once the ceremony’s over.
Now-former Tanzanian Information Minister Nape Nnauye said he was just kidding when he told an MP candidate from his ruling CCM party that “election results are not necessarily those in the [ballot box], rather they depend on the person counting and making announcements” and “because I’m good at election tricks, I will assist to emerge victorious,” in front of a shit ton of people at a rally last week, but President Samia Suluhu Hassan didn’t get the joke and fired his ass, the BBC reports.
It’s not clear if Hassan was mad at Nnauye for the old “quiet part out loud,” or if she was genuinely punishing the assclown. She did not offer any specific reason for it while announcing Nnauye was canned along with fired Foreign Minister January Makamba. CCM has been in power since 1977 and is constantly accused of rigging elections, so maybe it was Nnauye just being a blabbedmouth.
Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer on Monday endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris for the Dem presidential nomination which, along with nods from Maryland Gov Wes Moore, Kentucky Gov Andy Beshear, Illinois Gov JB Prizker, Pennsylvania Gov Josh Shapiro, and we lost count of the rest of them, means that in political media tropes all the potential challengers have “gotten in line.”
Former Vice President Mike Pence did not endorse Harris but instead praised Joe Biden’s decision to drop out, tweeting “President Joe Biden made the right decision for our country and I thank him for putting the interests of our Nation ahead of his own.” The replies are pretty good.
House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer will on Monday yell a bunch of stupid shit at Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle as his committee scrambles to divert attention back on the failed assassination attempt against convicted felon former President Trump last weekend in Pennsylvania.
New York City Mayor Eric Adams on Monday gave his full support to Vice President Kamala Harris for the Democratic nomination, Politico reports on what could be a possible bid for Ambassador to Turkey or maybe a special task force on how to improve US-Turkish relations, maybe even just an invite to a future state dinner with a Turkish delegation with a seat next to Recep Erdogan.
“I think she is the voice that the party needs right now,” said Adams during an appearance on MSNBC’s Morning Joe. He didn’t mention anything about Turkey or warn Harris to watch out for ghosts in the White House, but he would probably be eager to help catch them if she moves in.
Dem strategist Ken Pennington estimates that Democrats could surpass $90 million in donations by the 24 hour mark of President Joe Biden ending his reelection campaign and endorsing Veep Kamala Harris to replace him as the nominee to face convicted felon former President Trump.
Im going to ask…
From an @FEC and Campaign finance law point of view… shouldn’t this page be a violation?
Its original assets were created by the staff of the principal campaign of President Biden. All that was done here was the name swap but the original assets were done… https://t.co/SznBdyvYRc
— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) July 22, 2024
Not for nothing, but shouldn’t a dude who’s been under indictment for more than a year at this point for having violated like a shit ton of federal campaign finance laws have read up on it as to come up with a strategy for his defense? Feels like he should at least be able to answer his own question about it rather than just speculate openly to anyone who would listen on social media.
It’s that time-honored election year tradition: Newsmax reports a caravan of over 3,000 migrants from Central America have begun inching their way from Mexico’s southern frontier northward toward the United States, giving them and other right wing propaganda outlets something else to talk about now that the campaign has been shaken up in a deeply disadvantageous way.
“Some of the members of the group said they hoped to make it to the US border before elections are held in November, because they fear if Donald Trump wins, he will follow through on a promise to close the border to asylum-seekers,” Newsmax writes as if the migrants weren’t fed that sentiment.
🚨 INCOMING 🚨 BIG MANCHIN NEWS 🚨 HOLD ON 🚨 BREAKING 🚨 West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin made a BIG announcement Monday morning about his plans to run for president in a contested Democratic convention primary whatever against Vice President Kamala Harris 🚨 BUZZ ALERT! 🚨 Manchin told CBS News he will not be running for president. WOW! “I’m not running for office. I’m not going to be a candidate for president… I don’t need that in my life,” he said.
“The Democrats pick a candidate, Crooked Joe Biden, he loses the Debate badly, then panics, and makes mistake after mistake, is told he can’t win, and decide they will pick another candidate, probably Harris. They stole the race from Biden after he won it in the primaries – A First! These people are the real THREAT TO DEMOCRACY!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Monday, getting an early start to what will surely be a long day of bitching and complaining.
The denial stage of the fat bastard’s grief continued with “It’s a new day and Joe Biden doesn’t remember quitting the race yesterday! He is demanding his campaign schedule and arranging talks with Presidents Xi of China, and Putin of Russia, concerning the possible start of World War 3.”
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