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You will not be surprised to learn that, in contradiction to convicted felon President Trump claiming twice on Monday that one of his four living predecessors had in a recent private conversation complimented his unilateral declaration of war on Iran and said “I wish I did that,” spokespeople for former Presidents Bill Clinton, George W Bush, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden denied that their bosses had spoken to Trump at all in recent months in response to CNN having contacted each.

Trump had refused to name which of the four it was but, since there are only four of them and they have the phone numbers of their post-presidential representatives, it wasn’t very hard to falsify.

Note how the headline says “made that jealous former president shit up” rather than “lied about conversation with jealous former president” an editorial choice necessitated by the fact that it is not 2018 but 2026 and the steadily increasing ravages of entropy make it impossible to ascribe intent on Trump’s part. He just as easily could be deliberately lying as he is hallucinating that it happened. Either way the former option bodes just as poorly for the fat bastard because his falsehoods used to be so much more elusive and not so easily dismantled. Like if it were 2018 Trump he would’ve said “foreign leader” and it’d be a waste of time to even try to figure out who it might’ve been.

This is the second time inside of a week that the fat bastard’s lost his own plot and let the media nail him down on a lie. He’s always been mentally ill but this is a milestone on the road.

Social Circle, Georgia – yeah the name is stupid and it sounds like some cheap Facebook knockoff that failed in 2010 – a town the Washington Examiner describes as a “Republican stronghold” might as well be Minneapolis when it comes to welcoming ICE inside city limits as officials have shut off water and sewer service to a gargantuan facility recently constructed by a developer and marketed for use as an ordinary warehouse but quickly scooped up by ICE’s real estate buying binge with the intent to intern 7,500 to 10,000 migrants, WSB-TV reports on municipal sedition.

City Manager Eric Taylor told the station will remain off “until ICE indicates how water and sewer to the facility will be served without exceeding the limited infrastructure capacity” and best of luck on that bro. Social Circle’s surrounding county, Walton, voted 72 to 26 percent for mass deportations in the 2024 election but apparently implicit in that vote was for some other region’s sewer system to be clogged by the regime turning a warehouse that would’ve had maybe 500 people working on a given shift, possibly even just 9 to 5 on weekdays, into a 24/7 concentration camp for up to 10,000.

“President Trump’s complaints about the news coverage of the Iran war are predictable—and entirely justified. ‘We are totally destroying the terrorist regime of Iran, militarily, economically, and otherwise, yet, if you read the Failing New York Times, you would incorrectly think that we are not winning,’ he wrote Friday morning on Truth Social. Pick up Sunday’s Times, and it’s as if the editors took that as a command rather than a criticism. ‘War Sends More Tremors Through a Shaken World Economy,’ reads a headline across the top of the front page, with the speculative subheadline ‘Fallout From Prolonged Conflict With Iran Could Bring Catastrophic Consequences’ Among the catastrophes the article cites: ‘In Kenya, tea growers and traders worried their exports to Iran would rot on the dock,'” writes former Clinton pollster-turned-Trump ballsucker Mark Penn in a Wall Street Journal editorial printed on Monday, that intro followed by a few paragraphs of headlines.

Penn then brings it around to his summary findings, writing “Much of the news media seems determined to advance a narrative that Mr Trump is wrong about everything and that the US is getting its clock cleaned by a powerful Iranian war machine that has successfully made the transition to new leadership. Journalists have a right and a duty to report bad news and to question Pollyannaish reports from the US government. But many seem to be going beyond that and rooting for America to lose – against an enemy that is the world’s biggest state sponsor of terror, that has killed thousands of unarmed protesters, and that stockpiled thousands of ballistic missiles while seeking nuclear weapons, which its rulers promised to use against the US and Israel. Largely absent are even the most basic stories analyzing Iran’s losses and the fate of their supposed leadership.”

“Why? What seems to be driving the coverage is reportorial partisanship and the Democrats’ determination to oppose this president no matter what he does. We’ll see, again, how that works out for them,” Penn concluded, letting his words linger like a warning of horrific consequences.

The entire Cuban electrical grid is a dead as former cigar-comping Communist dictator Fidel Castro, who died 15 years ago, the AP reports. The grid was in terrible shape already but convicted felon US President Trump’s blockade of the island’s oil supplies appears to have finished it off.

President Miguel Diaz-Canel claims he’s been holding talks with El Naranjo Coño but who the hell knows what’s going to happen. Keep in mind that there’s a very large US Navy base on the island that is well-fortified yet not completely invulnerable to assault and if Diaz-Canel loses control of his military there could be rogue elements that could stage attacks on Guantanamo as a smokescreen for a coup. Shit can spiral out of control very fast in a prolonged crisis situation like this.

Little Nazi guy Greg Bovino, the not actually official chief of Customs and Border Patrol who made himself look like he was until he was demoted last month, is officially retiring, CBS News reports.

Yeah “Fox News viewers, self-centered boomers” is probably redundant but that headline, the video above, everything about this – none of it makes Marjorie Taylor Greene a good person or a paragon or whatever – but it’s still pretty fucking wild and a hell of a barometer reading on how much the MAGA cult has eroded after the Orange God Emperor made his return to power. Greene was sworn into Congress on January 3, 2021, just 17 days before Trump left office, after which she spent every day of the next four years agitating for his return. She didn’t even last a year with him back and now she’s on goddamned CNN speaking to the rot at the core. Again she’s an antisemitic scumbag who cheated on her husband and did plenty of sketchy shit with stock trades and what not and she will never not be an antisemitic scumbag. It doesn’t make her wrong or more importantly useless.

“Susie Wiles is an incredible Chief of Staff, a great person, and one of the strongest people I know but, unfortunately, she has been diagnosed with early stage breast cancer, and has decided to take on this challenge, IMMEDIATELY, as opposed to waiting. She has a fantastic medical team, and her prognosis is excellent! During the treatment period, she will be spending virtually full time at the White House, which makes me, as President, very happy! Her Strength and her Commitment to continue doing the job she loves, and does so well, while undergoing treatment, tells you everything you need to know about her. Susie, as one of my closest and most important advisors, is tough and deeply committed to serving the American People. She will soon be better than ever! Melania and I are with her in every way, and we look forward to working with Susie on the many big and wonderful things that are happening for the benefit of our Country!” posted the flabby toddler on Monday.

Convicted felon President Trump on Monday confidently predicted to PBS News reporter Liz Landers that “the oil prices will drop like a rock” as soon as his unilaterally-declared war with Iran is over, which he then said will end “as soon as the war is over and… I don’t believe it will be long.”

Pressed for more specifics on a timeline, Trump then said “I don’t want to say. I never want to say that because if I’m two days late, you’ll criticize me.” The twice-impeached personality cult leader was similarly evasive on the subject of ground troops beyond deployed to action against the Islamic theocratic regime, telling Landers he doesn’t “wanna say” one way or another, adding “I just don’t want to talk about that, because I’m not gonna talk about strategy with a reporter. OK?”

After reviewing 67 year-old rapist Jack Covert’s appeal of his minimum 52.5 year sentence imposed by a Luzerne County court last January after multiple convictions on violent sexual offenses committed since the 1990s – some of them against children – with Covert arguing that he should be entitled to a “discount” from the effective life sentence on the basis of his advanced age and health condition, the Pennsylvania Superior Court on Monday issued ruled that senior discounts aren’t actually a thing in the Keystone State’s justice system, the Wilkes-Barre Times-Leader reports.

The decision upholds a tradition of affording trial judges’ discretion in sentencing as finders of fact and neutral accountants of debts to society as well as affirming the contrast of that sacred responsibility with servers at establishments such as Denny’s, Bob Evans, and Perkins, who are required to apply senior discounts to dining checks without question if a guest has provided sufficient proof of that they qualify for the abatement. It’s quite possible that Covert’s experience consuming items on the Denny’s 55+ menu informed his misconception of its universality.

“After review of the record, we determined that the court did not abuse its discretion. The court’s imposition of an aggregate sentence of 52 and one-half years to 112 years’ imprisonment is not grossly disparate” to Covert’s decades of sexual abuse against multiple child victims, nor does it viscerally appear as patently unreasonable….The court properly determined that a lengthy term of imprisonment was essential to vindicate the devastating impact Covert’s crimes had on the victims’ lives as well as to protect the public from Covert,” the three judge panel wrote in the ruling.

Republican donors down on Vice President JD Vance’s subhuman jawline and laborious pettifoggery are instead looking to invest in Secretary of State Marco Rubio as the clarion of tough-talking, no bullshit, 100 percent authentically always-says-what-he’s-thinking messenger of America First to defeat the pro-Iranian homo leftist party’s Denmark First candidate in 2028, ABC News reports.

Some in the party disputed the notion that the donor class would be successful in reinventing Rubio, a brown-skinned Floridian with a vaguely foreign twang to his speech who would have to work hard to win over the large swathes of conservative voters who desire to see him deported back to Cuba.

“Donors don’t pick the nominee — the base picks,” a GOP operative told ABC. “Donors tried to abandon President Trump and tried to pick [Florida Gov Ron] DeSantis, and we all saw how that went,” the operative added, unintentionally alluding to the reality that a President Ron DeSantis in early 2026 would probably be hovering at about a 51 percent approval rating to 35 percent disapprove amid accelerated immigration enforcement carried out competently and with little to no collateral damage, economic growth unencumbered by delusional trade policy or directionless military action in the Middle East, and effective entrenchment of conservative cultural priorities in healthcare, education, and law enforcement, all leaving Democrats facing grim electoral prospects.

High-level intelligence community officials charged with briefing the president of the United States on the crucial information ascertained through the most sophisticated sources and methods known to mankind exclusively shared with the New York Post’s national security reporting team the stunning revelation that Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei is secretly a gay.

Sources present in the situation room when the explosive intelligence was conveyed to the president during a briefing last week described his reaction as stunned, which quickly turned to laughter that his mortal enemy is a gay. One senior intel official disclosed that he personally “has not stopped laughing about it for days,” and that the president has since been telling anyone and everyone he encounters that Mojtaba is a gay with a compulsion for male sexual contact.

“The fact that this was elevated to the highest of high levels shows you there’s some confidence in this,” another high level source told the newspaper. Another insisted the intel on Mojtaba’s gayness is “derived from one of the most protected sources that the government has,” and that, during ongoing treatment for his injuries purportedly sustained during an Israeli airstrike, Mojtaba made “aggressive” sexual overtures to his medical staff while under the influence of painkillers.

Intel officials did not elaborate on what the Iranian Supreme Leader’s alleged homosexuality may mean for permitting safe passage of transnational shipping through the contested Strait of Hormuz.

Remember, blackpilling is loser mentality.

Wake up ready to win tomorrow.

— James Blair (@JamesBlairUSA) March 16, 2026

In a Wall Street Journal exclusive printed on Sunday and headlined “Oil Industry Warns Trump Administration That Fuel Crunch Will Likely Worsen” there aren’t any direct quotes from anonymous source but a “senior administration official said that the administration knows prices are going to continue to rise but there isn’t a lot it can do at the moment,” which is interesting because Americans were told differently during 2021 through 2025, particularly in 2024, when the message was that it was a simple as voting to return convicted felon President Trump to power.

“The Pentagon has told the administration that options exist to open the strait, and the administration wants that to happen in a matter of weeks, not months,” the passage continued, emphasis on the expression of desire in place of “will make that happen,” or even a more contingent but still optimistic “expects to make that happen,” or an effort-focused “working tirelessly to make that happen.” It’s simply what they “want” rather than what they will do to unfuck this.

Brent crude oil futures touched $105 per barrel on Monday before sinking back down to a still pretty goddamned high $97.24 as of this printing, CNBC reports on more pain for the regime.

“The Courts treat Republicans, and me, so unfairly, always seeming to protect those who should not be protected. They are highly politicized. Cases don’t matter, the Judge does! As an example, how is this absolutely terrible Federal Reserve Chairman, Jerome ‘Too Late’ Powell, not even allowed to be investigated for the horrible job he does? How is he allowed to be Billions of Dollars over budget, and years behind schedule, on the simple renovation of the small Federal Reserve Complex in Washington, DC, where he created an absolute disaster – A money pit, and embarrassment to our Country for the whole World to see! It is a little project that has been under construction for many years. The Contractor on the job, along with Powell, should also be heavily investigated, in that it is impossible for a ‘professional’ to have such enormous Cost Overruns. It is THE HIGHEST PRICED BUILDING, PER SQUARE FOOT, OF ANY PROJECT EVER BUILT, with no end in sight, and may not even be open for many years to come. I strongly criticized Jerome ‘Too Late’ for his horrible performance throughout his tenure, which is either gross incompetence, total dishonesty, or both.”

“And, in return for this well justified criticism, get viciously and wrongfully blamed by, as usual, a Wacky, Nasty, Crooked, and totally Out of Control Judge, named James Boasberg, a man who suffers from the highest level of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), and has been ‘after’ my people, and me, for years. The DC Circuit eagerly supported the arrest and persecution of innocent Republicans for no crimes at all, but is now preventing even a basic investigation into the gross financial mismanagement of the Federal Reserve. In case after case, Boasberg has displayed open, flagrant, and extreme partisan bias and contempt against Republicans and the Trump Administration. To preserve the integrity of the Judiciary, he should be removed from all cases pertaining to us, and suffer serious disciplinary action, as should numerous other Corrupt Judges that, unfortunately, our Country has had to endure! What Boasberg has done on the ‘Too Late’ Powell case, and many others, has little to do with the Law, and everything to do with Politics.”

At some point during this 20 minute conversation on his plane, convicted felon President Trump responded to a press pool reporter’s question of “Do you have a comment on the six service members who died last week?” with “Who else?” and picked another reporter.

FCC incel Brendan Carr was chillin with his top homedawg Pre$ident TRUMP at his palatial corruption and prostitution den in South Florida on Saturday when Carr tweeted “Broadcasters that are running hoaxes and news distortions – also known as the fake news – have a chance now to correct course before their license renewals come up. The law is clear. Broadcasters must operate in the public interest, and they will lose their licenses if they do not,” and so on while citing Trump’s meltdown over coverage of the war, Carr himself confirmed to CNN’s Brian Stelter on Sunday.

The “confirmation” was really only by dint of Carr being on the same plane as Stelter and not denying that he had been with Trump when he posted the tweet. He did not say anything further about whether Trump had directed him to make the threat or whether he dictated it word for word.

Carr probably got the content by using his ouija board to channel Joseph Goebbels again.

Peruvian presidential candidate Napoleon Becerra, leader of the leftist Workers and Entrepreneurs Party of Peru, on Sunday took a sharp left turn on infrastructure – an issue that has bedeviled both candidates and elected officials alike in the rugged and politically turbulent Andean country for generations – so far left in fact that it’s safe to say the turn will be fatal to his presidential ambitions.

Well technically it was Becerra’s chauffeur, Carlos Enrique Peñaloza Salazar, whose sudden swerve on a key section of the national road network sent the campaign’s leadership into a ditch and killed any chance Beccera had in the race, as well as the 61 year-old Becerra himself, Inforegion reports.

Well technically Beccera was going to lose anyway as, according to the AP, he was polling at 1 percent in the 36 candidate field. It’s not clear how many of the other 35 will show up at Beccera’s funeral to try to consolidate the field from the mourners. Probably at least like three, right?