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“The Supreme Court has unanimously rejected Deranged Jack Smith’s desperate attempt to short circuit our Great Constitution. Crooked Joe Biden and his henchmen waited three years to bring this sham case, and now they have tried and failed to rush this Witch Hunt through the courts. Of course I am entitled to Presidential Immunity. I was President, it was my right and duty to investigate, and speak on, the rigged and stolen 2020 Presidential Election. Looking forward to the very important arguments on Presidential Immunity in front of the DC Circuit Court of Appeals,” writes fat former President Trump on Truth Social, still not explaining why he cares if Jack Smith was trying to “rush” the case if the court was going to rule in Trump’s favor.

As expected, the Wisconsin Supreme Court on Friday ruled 4-3 in favor of voters who sued to break Republicans’ iron grip on power in the Cheesehead State, ordering new district maps drawn.

This bill was introduced in the People’s House on December 22nd at 0900 eastern.https://t.co/V3ONQIPomW

— Rep. Clay Higgins (@RepClayHiggins) December 22, 2023

Moron deleted the original because he’d written “This bill was introduced in the People’s House on December 23rd at 0900 eastern,” emphasis added because he’s dumb as shit.

In a Friday morning interview with right wing assclown Hugh Hewitt, disgraced former President Trump said a lot of deranged shit that we could pick up, but again we want to highlight the fat bastard tripling down on his obviously complete made-up secret fentanyl deal with Chinese dictator Xi Jingping, a rant prompted by Hewitt asking “I want to talk about fentanyl, because I asked the candidates about fentanyl. How do we stop fentanyl getting into the country, Mr President?”

Well, I had it done pretty much, and then we had the election result. I’ll tell you what happened. I met with President Xi. He was going to criminalize the making of fentanyl. Most of it comes out of China, as you know. And then it gets passed through the border. [Hewitt says only “Yes” here and lets Trump continue] And I had it down to the lowest level it was since it really, since its inception, which you know, was a sort of a more modern drug, as horrible as it is. It’s just horrible what they’re doing. They’re killing hundreds of thousands of our people. And I had, President Xi was going to criminalize it at the highest level, meaning the death penalty if you make fentanyl, send it over to the United States through Mexico or anywhere else. He was all set to do that, and then we had the election results, so he didn’t do it. And I don’t blame him for that. But he was all set to criminalize it, and there were going to be harsh penalties if he didn’t. This was not a nice conversation, and he was all set. We have to stop fentanyl. We have to stop it at the border, and we have to put tremendous pressure on China. And we have tremendous power over China.

Trump went on with “Biden doesn’t know how to use that power, I really believe, because he’s taken so much money personally out of China, that I really believe he’s afraid to talk about it. Because any money that Jamie [Comer], who’s done a great job, and Jim Jordan” and blah blah blah.

The Supreme Court has apparently denied Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s move for an expedited review of fat former President Trump’s claims of immunity from the post-2020 election coup attempt charges in DC, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports based on the court’s docket.

While this fucking sucks, the DC Circuit Court of Appeals have set an expedited review with the hearing set for January 9th, so it’s possible that the trial can still begin on March 4th should the Supreme Court refuse to hear Trump’s appeal after his loss at the intermediate court. Again though, the dumbest part about this is that you would think that, if the fat bastard was confident Los Supremos would rule in his favor that he would want them to take it up as soon as possible. It says a lot about how this is all about escaping justice than it is proving his innocence.

Leftist commie “RINO” Karl Rove on Friday told Fox News that fat former President Trump and feckless toady Ronna Not-Romney’s call to the two Michigan canvassers trying to get them to back out of certifying the election results in 2020 was not a “perfect call.” Rove seemed a little disappointed in Ronna because he thought she was good at staying out of stupid shit like this.

In a headline that writes itself, the pro-Ron DeSantis “Never Back Down” PAC has backed down from $2.5 million worth of ad buys in Iowa and New Hampshire as the dream of Tiny D defeating fat former President Trump for the 2024 GOP nomination fades, the Messenger reports.

Actually maybe “backs out” would’ve worked a little better since it’s a lateral transactional commitment to purchase something of value and thus a participatory engagement between two entities. “Backing down” implies voluntary withdrawal from a more confrontational interaction, perhaps even a “fight” of a verbal, physical, or political nature. However we’re stuck with “Never Back Down” so we have to work with it to maintain at least some patina of clever wit.

So yeah, they “backed down,” even if the more accurate means of describing the situation would would be that they backed out of the purchase. Come to think of it, between the Never Back Down PAC and the DeSantis Campaign that they’re not supposed to be coordinating with but do it anyway, you could say that they haven’t really backed down ever, continuing this fucking political kamikaze run that should’ve ended before it even started because their candidate sucks and badly needs a personality transplant. There’s some nobility and bravery in that, even if backing down and to wait out the Orange Madness still plaguing the Republican electorate might’ve been the smarter move.

Republican State Representatives Cory Mcgarr, Charlice Byrd, and Aaron Bernstine of Arizona, Geora, and Pennsylvania, respectively, have scored a major victory in the fight to gain exposure to national right wing media audiences by drafting bills to remove President Joe Biden from the 2024 ballot in each of their battleground states, Breitbart reports in a big “exclusive” top homepage story.

“We are joining forces to introduce legislation to REMOVE Joe Biden from the ballot in Georgia, Arizona, and Pennsylvania,” the three thirsty legislators said in the free campaign advertising space provided by Breitbart. “The absurdity of radical Democrat judges removing Donald Trump from the ballot in Colorado will be a stain on the American political system for decades. By their very own interpretation of the law, Joe Biden is 100 percent not eligible to run for political office. Democrats’ insane justification to remove Trump can just as easily be applied to Joe Biden for his ‘insurrection’ at the southern border and his alleged corrupt family business dealings with China.”

“While GOP elites are asleep at the wheel, the Democrats are very serious about destroying the American Republic. Thank God for patriots like Aaron Bernstine, Charlice Byrd, and Cory McGarr for stepping up to FIGHT back,” GOP “political strategist” Cliff Maloney told Breitbart.

It’s not clear why Breitbart reported on this now when the bills are simply being drafted and not maybe when they were passed by their respective legislatures and signed by the governors effecting Joe Biden’s removal from the ballot. That way Republican voters who regularly read Breitbart won’t be disappointed if the bills fail to pass, even though Mcgarr, Byrd, and Bernstine are telling them this is an 100 percent winner and to stick a fork in Joe Biden because’s so done.

House Republicans are having some trouble getting on the same page with the plans to impeach President Hunter Biden for taking bribes and smoking crack and stuff as some are reluctant to move forward with drafting articles that only implicate Hunter’s dad Joe in the supposed crimes to launch a dead-end trial in the Demo-controlled Senate (who could dismiss the articles right away) as there might be some advantage to dragging out the inquiry in 2024, NBC News reports.

“If I had $100 and a chance to bet to turn it into a million dollars, I don’t know that I’d risk losing that $100 on this process. Bottom line: I don’t know how it’s gonna turn out,” a “GOP member who previously served in leadership” told NBC. That was definitely Kevin McCarthy, lol. He’s still technically a GOP member of Congress as his resignation isn’t effective until December 31st.

Factcheck: according to Devon Archer’s actual testimony (vis @RepJamesComer misrepresentations), the mayor’s wife is a real estate investor who mistakenly sent $2.5m of a $120m real estate investment with Archer to a wrong account w Hunter.

Hunter was not involved in this deal. https://t.co/ouNx4au49G

— Daniel Goldman (@danielsgoldman) December 22, 2023

What a dick. Ted Cruz puts a lot of work into podcasting. He told everyone in Congress about it and doesn’t even hit them up for donations or anything like that. It’s totally free to listen and there’s no advertising for gold bars or reverse mortgages or any of the stuff other podcasters have to bug you with while you’re trying to listen. On top of all that Cruz is able to land important interviews with guys like James Comer and Dr Phil. Let’s see Dan Goldman start a podcast and get Dr Phil to come talk to him! He’d probably end up getting some “woke” doctor like (ugh) Fauci or Surgeon General Vivek Murty. Goldman would probably call it “Golden Hour” or something stupid like that. “Verdict with Ted Cruz” is such a cooler name for a podcast anyway. Ted came up with it himself.

The bloodhounds with the Florida Center for Government Accountability’s dogged pursuit of the personal lives of MAGA power couple Florida GOP chairman Christian Ziegler and homophobic Karen terrorist group Moms for Liberty co-founder Bridget Ziegler continues as it turns out investigators with the Sarasota Police Department have obtained another dirty video Christian recorded on his phone. Like the last time we’ll just lift the relevant paragraph of the FLCGA’s report.

“A second video has been recovered by police showing Bridget Ziegler, a cofounder of the conservative Moms for Liberty, engaging in sexual relations with a woman, sources said. It is not known if the woman in the video is the same woman who has alleged she was sexually assaulted by Christian Ziegler. Neither Christian nor Bridget Ziegler have responded to requests for comment from the Trident,” they write (“Trident” being the FLCGA’s nickname for their investigative reporting arm).

Sounds embarrassing. Maybe marginally less embarrassing for Christian than a somewhat similar situation Jerry Falwell Jr had going for a while given who was with his wife while he was watching from the co… Anyway, what a shitty Christmas for the Zieglers. Wife’s bisexual, husband’s totally into that, leads to him being falsely accused of rape and the complete implosion of their political power from all the dirt that got exposed in the process. Would feel bad for them if they hadn’t spent so much of the last few years ruining the lives of LGBTQ+ teachers and others by fueling heels-wearing Gov Ron DeSantis’s hateful, terroristic campaign to “save the children” from “groomers.”

“As this news unfolds it’s worth reminding that in 2020 Michigan was first among the battlegrounds to go in the certification calendar. Had Trump succeeded in delaying or preventing a county or statewide certification in Michigan, that precedent would have been used to delay or block certification in Pennsylvania (which was certifying the following week), Georgia and so on, paving the way for the false slate of electors. We knew we were the first domino to go and that what Michigan did would impact the others,” tweeted Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson on Wednesday after the Detroit News’s story on now-former President Trump’s efforts to pressure the two Republican Wayne County canvassers to walk back their certification of the 2020 vote.

Benson also posted a much lengthier tweet saying how proud she was that people had showed up to protest the two MAGA asshole canvassers – one of whom died of COVID in November 2021 because he was an anti-vaxxer – refusing to initially do their jobs and the uproar supposedly prevented American democracy from suffering far worse damage than it was in this timeline.

That’s some wacky speculation, right? Like how is Benson any better than the MAGA conspiracy freaks who think Venezuela built a supercomputer that beamed its “STEAL_ELECTION.exe” sixth-order polynomial protocol to the Italian satellites and then back down to the Chinese thermostats that infected the Dominion tabulators? What makes any of the shit she’s saying here more plausible than that? Stupid Dems getting a pass just because it’s a “rational inference given the facts at hand” or “logical assessment of the available evidence.” This is why everything feels rigged against MAGA!

Ahem. You know who’s been silent since the news broke? Ronna Not-Romney. Yeah she hasn’t tweeted anything nor made any media appearances to address a recording for which she just might kind of be facing criminal liability for telling the two MAGA canvassers the RNC would cover their legal fees if they faced lawsuits or charges for unlawfully halting the vote certification.

You will not be surprised to learn that a January 2019 text message Hunter Biden to sent his daughter Naomi which read “I Hope you all can do what I did and pay for everything for this entire family [for] 30 years. It’s really hard. But don’t worry unlike [Joe Biden] I won’t make you give me half your salary,” that Republicans claimed was evidence of the now-president personally profiting from his son’s sketchy business schemes was taken out of context, the New York Times reports.

Sad and kind of boring story short, Hunter had claimed to Naomi that when he was in college, Joe told him “you can keep half of the paycheck, but you have to hand over the other half for ‘room and board,'” meaning Joe was encouraging his son to work and would tax him for his college costs. It’s not clear if it was literally half or if Hunter had just been embellishing, but it was him trying to tell his daughter that the money he was pulling in from Burisma wasn’t enough to cover everything for the then-25 year-old Naomi. Hunter was also in the middle of ketamine treatments for his drug and alcohol addiction at the time and simply rambling to his daughter via the text message exchange.

Exactly the kind of shit Republicans love to take out of context, which they did when the message was cherry-picked out of the contents of the “Laptop from Hell” by the MAGA media industrial complex. “I started crying. You really can’t make sense of these texts because they don’t make sense. It was such a hard time. These were his darkest days because of the drugs. It’s just, like, little bits of trauma and anger coming out,” Naomi told the Times. “Imagine if you read through anyone’s text messages. Of course you can twist these things. And of course they’re not going to be understood by everybody, because there’s a lot of personal nuances and inferences.”

Swedish retailer IKEA tells Fox Business that the Yemeni Houthi rebels’ attacks on shipping bound for the Suez Canal in the Red Sea are threatening to constrain its supplies of jumbled pieces of pressboard tossed into boxes with poorly-written instructions on how to make them into furniture.

Reason 1,594 to never take a cruise:  The Norwegian Cruise Line’s MS Maud was hit by a rogue wave that knocked out windows in the ship’s bridge, knocking out power as it sailed from Florø, Norway to Tilbury, England, NBC News reports.  None of the ship’s 266 passengers and 131 crew members aboard were serious hurt in the incident, which left the ship without power as water flowed into lower decks.  The ship is stable, and a tug with repair crews were dispatched to help jumpstart the vessel, or tow it back to a port.

“I think true independents, people concerned about our country, they go in favor of Donald Trump because the Republicans right now look like the adults in the room,” former Congressman and now just a guy Jason Chaffetz tells Sean Hannity’s withered soul of a replacement Kellyanne Conway, a person not known for reliably relating reality.

A Seattle hospital sued Republican Texas Attorney General and man so vile even Texas Republicans wanted to get rid of him Ken Paxton after Paxton demanded the hospital turn over medical records of children from Texas who may have sought care there, the Washington Post reports.

In his quest to weaponize the GOP’s targeting of the LGBTQ community, Paxton attempted to use the Texas AG’s consumer protection division to compel Seattle Children’s Hospital to turn over medical records of any child who sought trans care at the facility, presumably to find people to prosecute in the Republican Culture War.

The hospital asked the judge to nullify the order given the fact that the Texas AG has no jurisdiction over a Washington hospital, or if Paxton’s office has a specific complaint it was investigating, the hospital said it would comply with all legal orders.  In this instance, though, it “took legal action to protect private patient information related to gender-affirming care services at our organization sought by the Texas Attorney General,” a hospital spokesperson said.

Here’s Fox Newsbro Jesse Watters telling his fans that President Joe Biden should be disqualified from the 2024 ballot for, uh, giving “aid and comfort” to Iran, China, and Venezuela.

We might not have the full context here but it’s quite possible this fucking idiot doesn’t know that the “Cowboys for Trump” assclown Couy Griffin was removed from office and kicked off the ballot for life last year under the 14th Amendment. Victor Berger on the other was booted from his seat by a special committee under the 14th after being convicted of violating the Espionage Act. Berger’s conviction was later overturned and he ran again and returned to the House in 1922.

As China continues its aggressive posturing in South China Sea and Pacific Ocean, the US Air Force will essentially recommission the airfield on Tinian Island used to launch the missions that dropped atomic bombs on Japan in World War II, CNN reports.

The Air Force has already installed upgrades to the international airport that operates on the island, but Gen. Kenneth Wilsbach, commander of Pacific Air Forces, said the Pentagon will reclaim hundreds of acres that was once the location of North Airfield, which will be redeveloped into a functioning US airfield once again.

The Air Force abandoned the field in 1946, allowing the surrounding jungle to reestablish habitat, but a number of building foundations and a small monument to the military operation launched from there remain.  The overgrown area and remnants of the base, however, are a popular tourist destination for vacationers on the island, with is part of the Marianas.

Alcoholic shitbrain Rudy Giuliani on Thursday told Newsmax’s Rob Schmitt that he’s in good shape financially except for owing nearly $149 million to defamed former Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shae Moss. This was after he said he only declared bankruptcy to protect “normal creditors” which we guess means “white people.” Thing is the record kind of says otherwise and Rudy wasn’t paying those fuckers either with, for example, owing his former defense attorney Rob Costello $1.36 million, his document storage firm $320,000 until Trump’s campaign paid it off, and a $30,396 phone bill he didn’t pay – all of that just this year and not even getting into the other lawsuits against him with judgments literally totaling in the billions when this is all done.