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California 17-year-old passes bar exam, eclipsing Jim Jordan

A California 17-year-old who completed law school passed the state bar exam last week and will join the Tulare County district attorney’s office, the Washington Post reports, making him the youngest person in the state’s history to pass the bar exam and work as a prosecutor.  Peter Park started law school at the age of 13, as his chronological peers were entering eighth grade.

You gotta give it to Peter:  he was literally taking junior high school courses during the day while studying for CLEP exams, subject-specific tests that when passed, allow people to apply to law school even if they don’t have a college exam.  As Peter studied for his eighth-grade math tests, he was also studying micro- and macroeconomics, as well as composition, cramming for a week before taking the CLEP exam.  He completed all required exams when he was 13, then entered an online four-year juris doctor program at Northwestern California University School of Law.  Finally, he did something that not even the chair of the House Judiciary Committee has done:  he passed a state bar exam.

“At first it was very intimidating — I had zero knowledge about the law,” Park said in an interview with the Post. “But now, I pretty much have a 10-year head start. That’s like living ten years extra. I value that over the traditional high school experience,” adding, “The law is like the fabric of society, it reaches into everyone’s lives.”

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Rock, other celebs decline whack at hosting Golden Globes

The Golden Globes awards show where inebriated stars have historically made historical asses of themselves–because guests indulge in a cornucopia of chemicals, but presumably because of the open bar–is having trouble signing on an emcee for the festivities and even got slapped down by comedian Chris Rock, himself part of a kerfuffle at a different awards show.

Per CNN, the event planners for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association want to strike the right note for the January 7th show and have reportedly reached out to others, including the trio of “SmartLess” podcast hosts Will Arnett, Sean Hayes and Jason Bateman, and Ali Wong of the Netflix series “Beef.”  But with fading ratings and just four weeks including the holiday season to rehearse, the chances of getting an A- or B-list celebrity fade.

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Special Counsel: We can walk, chew gum at same time

“To the extent that the defendant is seeking a stay, pending his appeal, of matters implicating ‘those aspects of the case involved in the appeal,’ … the Court should deny his motion as unnecessary and duplicative; that divestiture occurred when the defendant filed his notice of appeal. Otherwise, the Court should decline to issue an order that would prevent it from resolving pending motions or handling aspects of this case unrelated to the appeal.”

And with that, Jack Smith’s office puts to bed a brief three-page motion dismissing Donald Trump’s attempt to stop virtually all criminal action–starting with the March 4th DC federal case into his attempt to undermine the Constitution on January 6th–is quickly countered with the argument summarized best by:  “We can try the case while Trump argues the appeal elsewhere, we’ll just continue on with this case here, like we always do.”

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US looking for allies’ help to defend Red Sea shipping routes

After weeks of Houthi rebels in Yemen firing missiles and using drones to harass commercial shipping and a US Navy warship, the Biden Administration contacted its allies to add strength to an international task force assigned to keep channels open, the Washington Post reports.

On Saturday, Houthi leaders said they would attack any shipping that might stop in Israel without stopping to deliver humanitarian aid to Gaza.  But significant attacks started in mid-October with the Houthi launching Iranian-supplied drones and missiles from Yemen, with the latest happening Saturday after a French vessel downed two drones.

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Orange Loser bitches out of testifying in New York civil trial

At the end of a lengthy, two-part all-caps screed posted on Truth Social on Sunday, disgraced former President Trump declared moral victory in the trial in New York Attorney General Letitia James’s $250 million lawsuit against his corrupt business empire and, because of that, he’s not going to be testifying in his defense Monday as previously planned, writing “I WON AT THE APPELLATE DIVISION, WHICH EFFECTIVELY ENDED MOST OF THE CASE, BUT THE BIASED JUDGE REFUSED TO ACCEPT THEIR ORDER, AN UNHEARD OF FIRST! BASED ON THE ABOVE, AND THE FACT THAT OUR UNASSAILABLE FINAL EXPERT WITNESS HAS BEEN SO STRONG AND IRREFUTABLE IN HIS TESTIMONY, WHICH WILL CONCLUDE ON TUESDAY, & THAT I HAVE ALREADY TESTIFIED TO EVERYTHING & HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY OTHER THAN THAT THIS IS A COMPLETE & TOTAL ELECTION INTERFERENCE (BIDEN CAMPAIGN!) WITCH HUNT, THAT WILL DO NOTHING BUT KEEP BUSINESSES OUT OF NEW YORK, I WILL NOT BE TESTIFYING ON MONDAY.”

Just a few things to add: The “unassailable final expert” was paid approximately $877,500 to testify for the defense. There’s also no such thing ever as a judge simply defying a higher court’s ruling.

Lastly, it’s plain that the fat fuck is too scared to face cross-examination from the state.

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Chinese boats attack Philippine vessels with water cannons

Three Chinese coast guard boats fired water cannons at two Philippine navy supply ships and escort ships on Saturday and allegedly intentionally rammed one, causing extensive damage to the ship’s engine, NBC News reports.  The incident happened in an area of the South China Sea where China had made maritime claims based on new man-made islands they constructed in the region, versus a marooned Philippine naval vessel in a shoal that serves as an outpost.

The supply ships were on a mission to provide food, medicine and other supplies to the Filipino forces stationed on the marooned vessel.  The Philippine coast guard released photos of two Chinese vessels close to the Philippine coast guard’s BRP Cabra and an unspecified supply ship firing their water cannons at crew stations.

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Kansas senator says Trump owning the libs with dictatorship talk

In a contrast with Republican former colleague Kevin McCarthy, Kansas Senator Roger Marshall is mostly pretty cool with fat former President Trump and his minions openly planning to create a fascist dictatorship. Mostly, as at first Marshall told Fox News anchorhag Maria Bartiromo on Sunday that “this was an hour-and-a-half long speech last night,” which is basically saying “Hey Trump said lots of other stuff too and of course the libtards are only focusing on the Nazi stuff.”

But then Marshall made it clear he actually enjoys the insanity, telling Bartiromo that Trump “spends a lot of time just shining a flashlight and letting that left-national media chase the flashlight,” making it clear he’s enjoying the Orange Allah treating the press like housecats.

Later in the interview Bartiromo moronically implied Hamas had attacked the US southern border.

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McCarthy thinks Trump will somehow stop openly pledging to create a fascist dictatorship “when he gets all the facts”

In an interview taped on Friday but aired Sunday morning, CBS’s Robert Costa challenged cowardly former Speaker Kevin McCarthy to come up with an excuse for disgraced former President Trump’s pretty obvious plans to create a dictatorial police state, imprison journalists, shut down international commerce at the border, etc and got quite possibly the most McCarthy answer possible.

“You praise Trump’s policies. You say he’s a good guy. But many Americans, they look at his language, they listen to his speeches, and they hear an authoritarian. Some say even a fascist on the horizon in this country. What do you say to people who have those real concerns?” Costa asked.

“Look, I don’t see that, and this is what I tell President Trump, too. What President Trump needs to do in this campaign, it needs to be about rebuilding, restoring, renewing America. It can’t be about revenge,” said McCarthy. “He’s talking about retribution, day in, day out,” said Costa.

“He needs to stop that,” McCarthy responded. “He needs to stop that.” Costa: “You think he’s going to listen to you saying, ‘Stop that. Stop that’? He hasn’t listened to anybody before.”

“That’s not true. He will adapt when he gets all the facts,” said McCarthy. For some reason Costa didn’t then laugh in face, instead saying “He’s not backing away from his calls for retribution.”

McCarthy kept going with “Yeah, but remember, you have a check and balance system. And I think, at the end of the day-” Costa interrupted with “Where’s the check and balance on him in the Republican Party?” and then McCarthy said “America doesn’t want to see the idea of retribution. If it’s rebuild, restore and renew, then I think you’ll see that. And look – that’s him. But I’m not gonna change who I am. And I’m not gonna stop giving him the advice. And look, I lost the job of Speaker. Maybe I don’t have the best advice. But I know one thing is, I love this country. I want tomorrow to be better than today. And I’m gonna do everything in my power, and I’m gonna be engaged in the process to make it better.” Costa’s interview with the worm then ended.

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Vance says Republicans aren’t targeting birth control access, which means Republicans are targeting birth control access

Despite Republicans blocking legislation to protect the right to birth control on state and federal levels, and the Leonard Leo-sponsored Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas requesting a case that would allow the five conservative oracles on the Court to rescind the right to get birth control, Republican Ohio Senator and fabulist J.D. Vance assures the audience that, in fact, Republicans aren’t coming for your birth control…. just like Roe was established precedent.

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Whitmire defeats Jackson Lee for Houston mayoral seat after someone advertised wrong voting deadline

John Whitmire, a state senator representing the city, defeated former Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee by 30 percentage points in a Saturday special runoff election to become the next mayor of Houston, a fate that was likely sealed when Jackson Lee’s campaign ran a television ad telling voters that the end of early voting was December 7th when in fact, it had been two days before, CBS News reports.

While the ad was quickly pulled, airing it caused confusion and accusations at early voting centers by voters who learned the incorrect deadline.  As with most special elections, turnout was light:  about 21% of eligible voters cast a ballot.  And Jackson Lee, a 30-year veteran of Congress, walked into the race with name recognition and endorsements from Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi, but could not overcome Whitmire’s local ground game, which mobilized supporters to vote during the eligible period.

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Cantaloupe coup plotter calls his four indictments an “honor”

“Many people that are, y’know, major criminals, very few have had an honor of being indicted four times.  I’ll tell you one thing:  I’m the only one who ever got indicted whose poll numbers went up,” Donald Trump said in one of his rare New York appearances not in proximity to a courtroom, failing to note that being a four-time indicted criminal still isn’t a good thing.

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Ousted leader endorses repeated loser in hopes of getting job

Believing he still has political influence, exiting Congressman and third-briefest serving Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy endorsed Donald Trump for the GOP nomination, per USA Today, because he secretly wants to ensure the destruction of the Party that so unceremoniously ousted him from the Speakership under nihilistic rules he agreed to so he could claim the seat in the first place.

Saying of Trump:  “The President bears responsibility for [the January 6th]  attack on Congress by mob rioters. He should have immediately denounced the mob when he saw what was unfolding. These facts require immediate action by President Trump, accept his share of responsibility, quell the brewing unrest and ensure President elect Biden is able to successfully begin his term.”  Oh, wait, no… that was Kevin McCarthy on January 13th, 2021, just a week after a Republican-led group of domestic terrorists attacked the Capitol.

In an interview that will air tomorrow on CBS News, McCarthy responded “Yes” when asked if he supports Donald Trump for the nomination.  “I will support President Trump,” he said, before adding he would accept a position in a new Trump Cabinet, “[i]n the right position. Look, if I’m the best person for the job, yes.”

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At least six dead after possible tornadoes hit Middle Tennessee

At least six people are dead after high winds and possibly tornadoes swept through Nashville and Middle Tennessee Saturday night, USA Today reports.  Three by Nashville’s emergency management officials and another three people were confirmed killed by the Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office, which reported more than two dozen at local hospitals with injuries.  The entire area continues to be under a tornado watch until at least 9 p.m. local time.

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MAGA Land had one of those weeks

Some readers may notice that the most recent edition of the irregular MAGA Land roundup was published on a Saturday and covered more than one topic. So is this one. But upfront we want to say this is not the beginning of a recurring scheduled recap so much as real-life circumstance fucked us out of doing a round-up on Kevin McCarthy’s unceremonious exit in a timely fashion and, since some other shit happened that pissed them off, we might as well mix in some of those reactions too.

“Taking his bat and ball and going home. Rinos are feeling the heat” – Top comment on the OAN article “Former Speaker McCarthy Leaving Congress Before End Of Term.” The “taking his ball and going home” line showed up a lot, like the fanboys were having some trouble properly articulating how they really felt about a situation they helped create finally coming full circle for them.

“Why is it that politicians will never make personal sacrifices for the sake of the country? Santos should not have been expelled and McCarthy could at least finish his term to keep the democrats from doing even more harm to us American citizens. Why can’t you republicans do the right thing for us so the democrats don’t destroy our lives?” – Top comment on the Thursday Breitbart story “Marjorie Taylor Greene on State of GOP Majority: ‘Hopefully No One Dies,’” covering Sporkfoot’s butthurt reaction to her dog running away. Love the shocked heartbreak and confusion, like self-interest and nihilism aren’t exactly what this asshole commenter regularly votes for.

“Reducing the majority even smaller. It’s his way of getting even. That’s how you know getting rid of him was the right decision…that vindictive” – Top comment on the Right Scoop’s McCarthy article.

“2024 House Majority is two less: McCarthy and Santos. Tip of the hat to Gaetz for causing McCarthy to leave (whatever you may think about his politics, he was a reliable REPUBLICAN vote) and a second tip of the hat to all Republicans who didn’t stand up for Santos. He may well have been a POS, but he was no worse than the mutts on the Democrat side of the aisle – and ask yourself this: if Santos were a Democrat and acted as he did, do you think the House Democrats would have abandoned one of their own?” – Top comment on Townhall’s McCarthy article.

“I said when they expelled Santos the rinos were getting ready to hand the house over to dems. And here we are!” – Top comment on the Gateway Pundit’s McCarthy article. “The Washington Generals will always make sure the Harlem Globetrotters win,” says the top reply. Not bad, lol.

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Median US gas price now at $2.99/gallon

The median price per gallon of gasoline is down to $2.99, meaning that half of the stations in the US are selling the dead dinosaur juice for under $3, GasBuddy.com analyst Patrick De Haan reports.

Along with other macroeconomic trends like inflation cooling overall, the drop corresponds with a large spike in US oil production, which is now the highest in American history at 13.2 million barrels per day as of November 24th. Probably why you hear less of “The US was energy independent under Trump’s Administration” and “Your gas tank misses President Trump” and other such bullshit from the MAGA propaganda-industrial complex these days, save for when the Orange Slob went all “Drill, baby, drill” when outlining his plans for a “Day One” dictatorship this week.

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Utah AG won’t run again over ties to Sound of Freedom asshole

Republican Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes on Friday announced he wouldn’t be running for a fourth term in 2024 and would dedicate his last year in office to supporting a criminal investigation of his “friend” Tim Ballard, the anti-sex-trafficking activist and real-life inspiration for 2023 QAnon fan-favorite film Sound of Freedom, starring adrenochrome freak Jim Caviezel, who turned out to be basically a sex trafficker himself, allegedly coercing Mormon housewives into sex acts when they volunteered for his organization “Operation Underground Railroad” (OUR) to pose as his wife when going “undercover” on trips to third-world countries to meet with slavers and “liberate” victims.

The AP reports that attorney Suzette Rasmussen, representing five of the women who came forward to accuse Ballard says her clients have accepted Reyes’s apology and respect that he was “the first and only person” so far to accept responsibility for promoting Ballard’s scumbaggery.

Reyes, who announced he would recuse personally from any criminal probe as he himself is under investigation by the state legislature for his involvement in possible misuse of state resources to help promote OUR and Sound of Freedom (a film in which he’s credited as a producer), is named in a civil complaint filed against Ballard late last month alleging that Reyes tried to intimidate an employee of another anti-sex-trafficking organization. Plaintiff Susan Whitehead claims that Ballard, portrayed by Q-pilled freak Jim Caviezel in the Trump-promoted film, had in a series of since-deleted blog posts taken credit for rescuing child victims – ones that Whitehead’s organization had in fact rescued – after the devastating 2015 earthquake in Nepal and that Reyes (the AP and Fox 13 Salt Lake City differ on whether he’s actually a co-defendant in the lawsuit) had tried to call and then texted Whitehead’s supervisor but did not answer when the supervisor tried to call back.

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Random thoughts Friday, Volume CL

  • Of course Taylor Swift beat Donald Trump for Time’s Person of the Year.  She’s interesting.  She’s creative.  Unlike Trump, she helps the economy grow.  Her cult isn’t set on illegally installing a cult leader.  And she will have a huge influence in the polls next November.  Trump is sooooo 2016.
  • In canon, this is random thought #2,563.
  • Norman Lear was not just an entertainment icon and genius, he was a civil rights and social issue warrior.  Among the topics he dealt with:  abortion on Maude; rape and antisemitism on All in the Family; divorce, women’s rights and single parenthood on One Day at a Time; and racism on Sanford and Son, The Jeffersons and virtually every series he created.   (And this is in no way an exhaustive list, plus there were crossover topics.)  Literally behind the scenes, he advanced civil rights causes more effectively than most who stood in front of microphones giving speeches.
  • Last summer, GOP leaders told us he had irrefutable proof that the Biden family took a $10 million bribe from Ukraine.  Now we’re down to three car payments from father to son.  Republicans are thoroughly unserious people.
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Casey DeSantis a better candidate than her meatball husband

She doesn’t smile like she learned how to do it by reading the /help subreddit.  She puts together statements that make sense.  She doesn’t reactively cram culture war terms into random sentences.  And she’s got a better stump speech than her husband, leader of the Lollipop Guild and Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.  It’s too bad for Casey that her husband will never advance out of Tallahassee.

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Federal judge blocks family separations at border for 8 years; five years after Trump policy ended, 68 migrant kids still missing

A George W. Bush-appointed federal judge has banned the government from separating families at the border for at least the next eight years as part of a settlement reached between families that were separated under the Trump administration and the Biden Administration, NBC News reports.  The Biden Administration had already halted the draconian policy which was designed by Trump henchman Stephen Miller and his anti-immigration compatriots to punish families who crossed the US southern border illegally.

Due to the policy in place in 2017 through 2018, adults were sent to detention facilities while their children were sent to shelters; many times, parents were sent back to their home countries while their children remained in the United States.  The Trump cabal made insufficient efforts to track the locations of the children, making reunification of families difficult and in some cases, impossible:  even though the policy was ended in June 2018, 68 migrant children separated from their parents remain unaccounted for despite the efforts of federal agencies and volunteer organizations.

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Two men plead guilty in infamous Alabama dock brawl

Two men who attacked a Black riverboat co-captain helping a boat dock in August in an attack that went viral after guests and crew on the boat jumped in the water and swam to the man’s aid have pleaded guilty to misdemeanors in a plea deal, WAKA CBS-8 in Montgomery reports.  Zachery Shipman and Allen Todd pleaded to a lesser charge of harassment and were given a 60-day suspended sentence and one year of probation.  Two others from the group, Mary Todd and Richard Roberts, pleaded to the same charge earlier.

The co-captain, Dameion Pickett, had faced a charge of third-degree assault charge filed by Shipman, but the court ruled him not guilty.  The brawl started after Pickett told Shipman and his party to move a pontoon boat they had docked at a city dock assigned to the riverboat.  Shipman and his friends attacked Pickett, leading to people to jump off the Harriott II riverboat to come to Pickett’s aid.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Jim Jordan wins House GOP leadership, lol

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“Many Democrat lawmakers are going to find themselves under indictment and fighting conviction… Watch”: Roger Stone to Axios

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Bidenflation increases 0.4 percent in October, beating expectations

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WATCH LIVE: Petey Pee Pants calls impeachment gay and soy

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Orange Baby still demanding Dan Sullivan be declared winner

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Orange God Emperor holds impromptu press briefing: Watch live

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“Voters made the wrong choice”

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Massie intros Hegseth impeachment articles

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There it is: Trump “Stop the Steal 2026” edition

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Jaydee “blamed the Jews for losing the election”: Randy Fine

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Mentally ill senior having fun Saturday shitposting on internet

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Top Trump crony Huang targeted by sexy Chicom intel agent

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RNC chair, who just oversaw worst loss in decades, endorsed

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Cybertruck era ends with such poetic timing

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Orange Overlord trying to maneuver Hegseth into Senate

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Harmeet Dhillon out from Regime DOJ

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“Maybe we could get asylum in Israel”

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Frau Ingraham would cry if her tear ducts weren’t cauterized shut

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NRCC chair Dick Hudson concedes

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Libs: Owned

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MIDTERMAGEDDON 2026: National Zero Special Live Coverage

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Netanyahu and minions plan to contest election results

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Vote Republican because if THEY killed Charlie Kirk (while Republicans fully controlled DC) then THEY can kill you too

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Axios tries to find the silver lining

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