Category: Uncategorized

Southeast Iceland’s Reykjanes Peninsula is shaking like Fox News host Judge Jeanine Pirro after three days on the wagon as the volc- Wait a second, Jeannine Pirro would never quit drinking, lol.

Southeast Iceland’s Reykjanes Peninsula is shaking like Mike Pence in an unlicensed “massage parlor” in Manila as- Why the hell would Mike Pence ever go to a massage parlor in Manila?

Southeast Iceland’s Reykjanes Peninsula is shaking like Arizona Congressman Paul Gos- Nope.

Southeast Iceland’s Reykjanes Peninsula is shaking like a geologically active region experiencing a lot of magma uplift as the area recorded more than 800 earthquakes overnight and monitoring instruments have detected the presence of sulfur dioxide gas in the air indicating that lava is nearing the surface around the now-evacuated fishing town of Grindavik, CBS News reports.

Which means a fissure emanating from the nearby Þorbjörn volcano could erupt like Congressman James Comer did at “Smurf” Jared Moskowitz during that Oversight Committee hearing on Tuesday.

The crack political science wizards at Emerson College Polling, famous for their masterful insights into the pulse of the American electorate like finding Kentucky Attorney General Dan Cameron +1 over incumbent Dem Governor Andy Beshear late last month (Beshear won by 5), Republican Adam Laxalt +5 over incumbent Nevada Dem Senator Catherine Cortez-Masto in their final 2022 poll of that race (Cortez-Masto won by 1), Mehmet Oz +1 over now-Senator John Fetterman in Pennsylvania in 2022 (Fetterman won by 5), Dem New Hampshire Senator Maggie Hassan +5 over QAnon freak Don Bolduc in 2022 (Hassan won by 10), the 2022 Arizona Senate race between incumbent Dem Mark Kelly and Reptilian fascist Blake Masters tied (Kelly won by 5) and other brilliant calls have found President Joe Biden leading disgraced former President Trump 47 to 42 percent in a two way race, Biden 40 to Trump 37 with assclowns RFK Jr and Cornel West in the mix.

Wait, they actually fucked this one up. Trump should be like +10 in the Granite State. There’s no way Biden could be leading in any swing-ish state in the Emersonverse. They’re like Diet Trafalgar or Rasmussen Lite: All the Republican-leaning taste with none of the MAGA calories. Joe’s supposed to be losing to Trump in a landslide in 2024. Emerson fans ought to be furiously demanding a scapegoat on their team of push pollsters be found and promptly fired for this disgraceful failure.

Meet Celeste Maloy. On January 6th, 2021 she was working as a staffer to Republican now-former Utah Congressman Chris Stewart who resigned a few months ago because of family health issues something something. Maloy is now running in a special election to replace Stewart, and faces in voters next week. This week the Salt Lake Tribune dug up the above video dated February 1, 2021, in which Maloy told an interviewer from a Washington County, Utah Republican women’s group that, just a few weeks earlier, even while she was hiding in the Capitol bunker from the violent insurrectionists, she was “getting a lot of phone calls from people I know asking if this was a false flag attack,” with the people asking her “Is this really Antifa? Trump supporters don’t do this.”

“I spent a lot of time that day just telling people, ‘Yeah, these are Trump supporters,'” Maloy told the interviewer. “The fact that the actual Confederate Army never got into the US Capitol, but we had Trump supporters carrying a Confederate flag into the Capitol in 2021 was sort of soul-crushing. It was a hard thing to watch… Americans support the institutions of our country more than we support people. We don’t get behind dictators. Our loyalty isn’t even primarily to the Republican Party, it’s to America. And watching people go into the Capitol like that felt like they were proving me wrong on all those beliefs.” We’re going to have to double check this but we’re pretty sure that very heavy implication that Trump is a “dictator” makes Maloy a backstabbing lowlife RINO traitor.

Maloy would not answer a question from the Tribune this week about whether she still stood by those comments, saying only “Republicans are the party of law and order – and I am a law-and-order Republican. I believe the video where I talk about January 6th is clear on that.”

A new Wall Street Journal survey of economic eggheads finds a consensus that the US is headed for a “soft landing” without the recession right wingers so desperately want Americans to suffer during an apocalyptic election year. “In the past 80 years, the Federal Reserve has never managed to bring inflation down substantially without sparking a recession,” the Journal writes in their report.

“What we are expecting now is a soft landing. We expect the economy to weaken quite a bit but it does look like we’ll avoid an outright contraction,” said Oxford Economics nerd Nancy Vanden Houten. “If one was looking for a clear sign of a soft landing, the disinflation inside the [consumer-price index] is one unavoidable and unmistakable sign that the US economy has proved far more resilient than anyone anticipated at the outset of 2023,” said RSM US poindexter Joseph Brusuelas.

The driver of the “Santa’s train,” which is just a regular farm tractor made to look like an old-fashioned steam train that pulls two trailers full of children, was arrested Saturday just before Tazewell, Tennessee’s annual Christmas Tractor Parade was set to begin, WATE reports.

Cops were alerted after attendees noticed 40 year-old Henry Meade “acting erratically” and pulled him aside for a field sobriety test, which he failed, badly. Upon cuffing him, police searched Meade and found a syringe, methamphetamine, and other unspecified narcotics. It’s not clear if Meade was wearing a Santa suit and beard when he was arrested as no photos were available.

Texas Congressman Pat Fallon on Tuesday walked back on his plan to run for his old seat in the state Senate in 2024, saying his family – and his son specifically – talked him out of it, Politico reports. “I filed to return because you’ve got to think about family,” said Fallon, adding that his son was “distraught” that his old man was self-demoting. Guess the Fallons really don’t want him closer to home – after he specifically said he was looking forward to spending more time with them. Fallon also acknowledged that the endorsements he got for his return home, like that of far right asshole Texas Lt Governor Dan Patrick, “put some folks in some spots” but “we’re good.”

Connecticut Democratic Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro has had about enough of the performative antics of her Republican colleagues who attempted multiple times to insert amendments into the first of the various funding bills in Speaker on Life Support Mike Johnson’s bipartisan appropriations plan.  After Republican Montanan who’s been on all six of the state’s escalators Matt Rosendale went ballistic calling for the elimination of Dr. Anthony Fauci’s salary for demanding a vaccine mandate, something that never happened from a man who retired last year, DeLauro takes to the mic to set the record straight.

The US Army overturned the mutiny convictions of 110 Black soldiers stationed in Houston in 1917 who defended themselves against repeated attacks by white members of the community and the Houston Police Department, a clash that resulted in the death of at least 19 people, the Guardian reports.

After having repeatedly been subjected to racial attacks and ridicule in segregated Texas, members of the all-Black 24th Infantry Division marched into town after two of their members were beaten and detained by white Houston Police officers harassing people in a Black neighborhood.  Much like the Tulsa Race Massacre of 1921, the 1917 Houston riot was largely dismissed because it was caused by police abuse in the Black community, targeting soldiers stationed there to prepare to fight in World War I.

Thirteen enlisted men, including a sergeant and four corporals, were hanged after courts-martial in which witnesses testified they could not identify specific suspects because the attack took place in dark and foggy weather. “We cannot change the past; however, this decision provides the Army and the American people an opportunity to learn from this difficult moment in our history,” Gabe Camarillo, the Undersecretary of the Army, said in a statement.

Republican Senator C’mon, Guys, Hold Me Back from Oklahoma continues his beta ape posturing on fellow mite-picking primate Sean Hannity’s Fox show, where Hannity implies the GOP Congressional Caucus is acting like a bunch of fifth graders, and he’s A-OK with that.  On a day when a former Speaker sideswiped a colleague and this very Senator challenged a union leader to a fistfight because the Senator was angry at a personal slight made on the private citizen’s social media account, Oklahoma’s MarkWayne Mullin asserts his constituents want him to act like a fifth-grader named, well, MarkWayne who just found out his secret crush liked his more popular rival.

Neonatal Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, never one to distinguish from his right to celebrate his religion to his power to impose his religion, said, “people misunderstand” the concept of the separation of church and state, using an argument of people who want to inject their church into our state.

Per NBC News, Johnson asserted “[t]he separation of church and state is a misnomer.  People misunderstand it.  Of course, it comes from a phrase that was in a letter that Jefferson wrote. It’s not in the Constitution. And what he was explaining is they did not want the government to encroach upon the church — not that they didn’t want principles of faith to have influence on our public life. It’s exactly the opposite.”

Ignoring historical evidence that none of the Founding Fathers were divinely driven to establish the nation to celebrate any form of Christianity, Johnson went on to claim the Founders knew religion “would be important to maintain our system. And that’s why I think we need more of that — not an establishment of any national religion — but we need everybody’s vibrant expression of faith because it’s such an important part of who we are as a nation.”

During his trial for attacking the husband of former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during an October 2022 break-in at their San Francisco home, David DePage said he intended to interrogate Speaker Pelosi about her “lying about Russia-gate” and if she lied, he “was going to break her kneecaps.”

According to the Washington Post, DePage’s defense against charges of attempting to kidnap a federal official and assault upon an immediate family member of the official relies on him not knowing or understanding that Nancy Pelosi was, in fact, an elected federal official.  DePage claimed that his break-in and attempt to kidnap Paul Pelosi was not related to his wife’s job, although he admitted to targeting the house because of Nancy Pelosi’s job, calling her the “leader of the pack” of Democrats in DC.

In later testimony, DePage admitted to hitting Paul Pelosi multiple times with a hammer “with full force,” an assault which left Paul Pelosi with severe head trauma that required a lengthy hospitalization and recovery.

House Democrats on Tuesday said they’re on board with Speaker Mike Johnson’s plan to kick the government funding can down the road to the middle of January 2024, CNN’s Manu Raju reports.

“Donald J Trump, by and through undersigned counsel, respectfully moves this Court, pursuant to FRAP 42(b), to dismiss his appeal in this case. Upon information and belief, to date the government has not borne any costs in this matter,” disgraced former President Trump’s lawyers write to the Second Circuit Court of Appeals notifying them they’re abandoning their attempt to remove the Stormy Daniel hush money criminal case from New York State courts to federal court.

“It has come to my attention that this morning, November 14, 2023, following a meeting of the House Republican Conference, Representative Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) assaulted Representative Tim Burchett (R-TN) in the hallways of Capitol complex. This assault was witnessed by numerous people, including Claudia Griseles of NPR, who was interviewing Rep Burchett at the time. For his part, Rep Burchett has described the attack as a ‘sucker punch’ and ‘a clean shot to the kidney.'”

“Needless to say, this incident deserves immediate and swift investigation by the Ethics Committee. This Congress has seen a substantial increase in breaches of decorum unlike anything we have seen since the pre-Civil War era. I myself have been a victim of outrageous conduct on the House floor as well, but nothing like an open and public assault on a Member, committed by another Member. The rot starts at the top. While Rep Burchett is within his rights to decline to press charges against Rep McCarthy, your Committee does have a duty to investigate breaches of the binding Code of Official Conduct, whose first rule is that ‘A Member… shall behave at all times in a manner that shall reflect creditably on the House.’ There is substantial evidence that Rep McCarthy breached this duty.”

“Given Rep Burchett’s comments on the matter, and the statements of public witnesses, I request the House Committee on Ethics to proceed immediately with an investigation into the facts of today’s incident, including interviewing, under oath, the alleged assailant and assailee, and any witnesses. I swear or affirm that the foregoing facts in this complaint are true and correct, to the best of my knowledge, this 14th Day of November, 2023,” writes Matt Gaetz to the House Ethics Committee after finding the excuse he needed to retaliate against McCarthy for the ongoing probe into credible allegations of sex trafficky and statutorily rapey behavior by Gaetz.

Later McCarthy told the AP’s Farnoush Amiri that if he “hit somebody, they would know it. If I kidney punched someone, they would be on the ground,” which we guess means he denies hitting Burchett.

If you watch the whole thing you can see a few frames of a wider shot of the hearing room which reveals that there’s actually a witness sitting at the table – US General Services Administration (GSA) chief Robin Carnahan – she supposed to be there testifying but does not utter a word while the two Congressmen bicker. Moskowitz clearly gets the better of Comer here, calling the dullard farm boy out for loaning his brother money while acting like Joe Biden having done the same was a crime.

Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis on Tuesday filed a motion requesting a protective order in her RICO conspiracy case against disgraced former President Trump and his 14 remaining accomplices in their failed plot to overturn his humiliating 2020 election defeat from the state after someone leaked videos of now-flipped co-conspirators MAGA lawyers Sidney “Kraken” Powell, Jenna Ellis, Kenny Chesebro, and Atlanta bail bondsman Scott Hall telling prosecutors everything they knew before they finalized their plea agreements with the state over the last few months.

Willis is pretty sure who leaked it, given that one of the defendants’ lawyers kind of accidentally sent them an email on Monday saying that it was “Black Voices for Trump” asshole Harrison Floyd’s defense team: “These confidential video recordings were not released by the State to any party other than the Defendants charged in the indictment, pursuant to the discovery process as required by law… On November 14, 2023, counsel for Defendant Harrison William Prescott Floyd sent an email to the State, members of the defense, and the Court that stated, ‘It was Harrison Floyd’s team.’ This email was sent in response to an email from another defense attorney inquiring into whether the State publicly released the confidential video recordings. The State previously indicated that it did not publicly release the confidential video recordings. Counsel for Defendant Harrison William Prescott Floyd then sent a subsequent email stating that his prior email was a ‘typo’ and that Defendant Floyd’s team did not communicate with the media,” Willis wrote. “Typo,” lol.

Far right Oklahoma Senator Markwayne Mullin on Tuesday stood up at the dais during a hearing of the Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee, threatening to fight Teamsters President Sean O’Brien over some Twitter shitposting between them, Bloomberg’s Ian Kullgren reports.

“You’re biggest thug here,” O’Brien told the former mixed martial artist Mullin as chairman Bernie Sanders managed to calm everyone down. “This is the most insane thing I have ever seen on Capitol Hill,” Kullgren wrote. This was actually in a public hearing, we’ll try to obtain video.

https://t.co/BKnV2GaR6x pic.twitter.com/V4IMVNW82i

— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) November 14, 2023

Car thief Congressman Darrell Issa was among the eight Republicans who voted with Democrats on Monday to punt the QAdulteress’s effort to impeach DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas to the Homeland Security Committee. So she calls him a “pussy” with a GIF of their Orange God Emperor.

Former Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy on Tuesday calmly walked up to and physically shoved Tennessee MAGA Congressman Tim Burchett and ran away whilst Burchett was speaking to NPR Capitol reporter Claudia Grisales, who writes Kev “walked by with his detail and shoved Burchett, [who] lunged towards me. I thought it was a joke, it was not. And a chase ensued…”

Per Grisales, Burchett caught up and at first tried to play it off like a joke with “Sorry Kevin didn’t mean to elbow -” then seriously started yelling, “Why’d you elbow me in the back Kevin?! Hey Kevin, you got any guts!?” McCarthy then said “I didn’t elbow you in the back” as he continued walking

“You got no guts, you did so… The reporter [Grisales] said it right there, what kind of chicken move is that? You’re pathetic man, you are so pathetic,” Burchett yelled before turning back to Grisales and telling her this was the first “communication” he had with McCarthy since voting with Matt Gaetz and six others to remove the cowardly Californian from the speakership. “That’s just it” as in their first and only exchange since ouster vote. “He’s just a jerk. He’s just a childish little…”

Burchett later told CNN’s Manu Raju his kidney was still in pain from the shove or elbow or whatever it was that McCarthy did, adding “I just don’t expect a guy who was at one time three steps away from the White House to hit you with a sucker punch in the hallway,” adding that the loser former House Speaker “is a bully with $17 million and a security detail. He is the type of guy that when you are a kid, he would throw a rock over the fence and run home to hide behind his mama’s skirt.”