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Marjorie Taylor Greene: I voted against Tom Emmer because he voted to certify the 2020 election and voted to codify marriage equality pic.twitter.com/UwrtAtEGtU

— Biden-Harris HQ (@BidenHQ) October 24, 2023

Disgraced former Trump White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows was granted immunity to testify to the grand jury impaneled by Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith to investigate the post-2020 election coup attempt federal conspiracy case in DC, ABC News reports.

“Speaker-designate” Tom Emmer was spotted by Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman leaving a House GOP meeting that started 20 minutes ago. “EMMER just briskly walked out of the Longworth House Office Building. The meeting is ongoing and he’s gone,” Sherman wrote. “Iconic,” replied George Santos.

And just now CNN’s Manu Raju reports that Emmer has dropped out. The search continues.

Justice Department press release: “An Ohio man pleaded guilty yesterday to violating the Church Arson Prevention Act and to using fire and explosives to commit a felony, all in connection with his attempt to burn down a church because of the church’s support for the LGBTQI+ community.”

“According to court documents, on March 25, Aimenn D Penny, 20, of Alliance, made Molotov cocktails and drove to the Community Church of Chesterland (CCC), in Chesterland, Ohio. Angered by the church’s plan to host two drag events the following weekend, Penny threw two Molotov cocktails at the church, hoping to burn it to the ground. Through Penny’s guilty plea, he admitted to using force through fire and explosives, intending to obstruct CCC congregants in their enjoyment and expression of their religious beliefs. Penny was arrested and charged earlier this year with violating the Church Arson Prevention Act, one count of using fire to commit a federal felony, one count of malicious use of explosive materials and one count of possessing a destructive device.”

“Penny faces a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison for the violation of the Church Arson Prevention Act and a 10-year mandatory prison sentence that will run consecutively with any other prison term imposed for using fire to commit a federal felony. A federal district court judge will determine any sentence after considering the US sentencing guidelines and other statutory factors.”

“I have many wonderful friends wanting to be Speaker of the House, and some are truly great Warriors. RINO Tom Emmer, who I do not know well, is not one of them. He never respected the Power of a Trump Endorsement, or the breadth and scope of MAGA – MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! He fought me all the way, actually spent more time defending Ilhan Omar than he did me.”

“He is totally out-of-touch with Republican Voters. I believe he has now learned his lesson, because he is saying that he is Pro-Trump all the way, but who can ever be sure? Has he only changed because that’s what it takes to win? The Republican Party cannot take that chance, because that’s not where the America First Voters are. Voting for a Globalist RINO like Tom Emmer would be a tragic mistake!” wrote disgraced former President Trump on Truth Social while he was on break from watching testimony in the trial that will likely completely destroy his businesses.

In another post Trump celebrated some of New York Attorney General Letitia James’s team coming down with COVID writing that “they lost another Thug to Covid today. Judge would not delay this SCAM, Election Interference, No Jury Case. Judicial and Prosecutorial Misconduct!”

Sort of like their former governor did once in a movie to a “Johnny Cab,” the California Department of Motor Vehicles on Tuesday ripped the AI drivers out of GM subsidiary autonomous cab company Cruise LLC, writing in a statement that they “notified Cruise that the department is suspending Cruise’s autonomous vehicle deployment and driverless testing permits, effective immediately. The DMV has provided Cruise with the steps needed to apply to reinstate its suspended permits, which the DMV will not approve until the company has fulfilled the requirements to the department’s satisfaction. This decision does not impact the company’s permit for testing with a safety driver.”

Left unclear is what incident or incidents might have prompted the revocation, or if a Cal DMV official simply hailed one and was like “Yeah, fuck this” and got out after only a few blocks.

Republican Pennsylvania Congressman Brian Fitzpatrick “says some oppose Emmer because he voted to certify the 2020 election,” Fox News’s Chad Pergram reports on the least surprising news about this still ongoing House GOP shitshow that still three weeks later has no end in sight.

Taking the stand in the trial over New York Attorney General Letitia James’s $250 million lawsuit against disgraced former President Trump’s corrupt business empire, former lawyer and enforcer Michael Cohen on Tuesday told the court that the Orange Warlord commanded Cohen to assign values to real estate assets at whatever Trump wanted, saying “I was tasked by Mr. Trump to increase the total assets based upon a number that [Trump] arbitrarily elected. And my responsibility, along with Allen Weisselberg, predominately, was the reverse-engineer the various asset classes – increase those assets to achieve the number that Mr Trump asked us.”

Congratulations Speaker-designate @GOPMajorityWhip!

— Rep. Elise Stefanik (@RepStefanik) October 24, 2023

When is Elise Stefanik going to learn to stop using “speaker-designate“?

UPDATE 10/24/2023 12:57 PM EDT: Yeah Emmer is fucked. After a roll call vote of the entire conference he only got circa 191 votes saying they would vote for him on the House floor.

DINO asshole Minnesota Congressman Dean Phillips is definitely launching a primary campaign against President Joe Biden as WCCO reporter Jason DeRusha on Tuesday posted video clips of a Phillips 2024 presidential campaign bus cruising down a highway somewhere in Ohio. The bus’s bumper says “MAKE AMERICA AFFORDABLE AGAIN” in white letters on red. Sounds familiar.

In his day job in DC meanwhile Phillips also toyed with ways to make life less miserable for Republicans, saying he would sit out or vote present if and when fellow Minnesotan Tom Emmer’s speakership bid comes to a full floor vote, thereby watering down the expected GOP opposition.

Large-headed Trump campaign spokesman Steven Cheung got more than a little testy when a reporter from the Messenger asked him to comment on heels-wearing Florida Gov Ron DeSantis telling New Hampshire voters that he would lose less of the anti-vax vote to Robert F Kennedy Jr in a three-way race against Biden than Trump would given DeSantis’s crusades against “Faucism.”

“[Kennedy] will hurt Trump way more than he will hurt any other candidates,” DeSantis told the crowd at some diner he was visiting alongside Granite State Gov Chris Sununu. “If I’m the nominee, they all go to me because I stood up against Fauci. With Trump, though, he created Fauci. He elevated Fauci. He never fired him,” Mickey Maoist continued, adding that Bobby Jr serves as a “vessel” for voters who “want accountability” for the COVID-19 pandemic and the vaccines.

“Ron DeSantis is a dumbass to have that type of uninformed take,” said Cheung in a terse response, failing to elaborate otherwise on what was so uninformed about it. DeSantis is almost certainly doomed and even if Trump had a catastrophic paralyzing stroke tomorrow the little bastard would probably end up losing the primary to Nimrata “Nikki” Haley, but he’s not wrong about matching RFK Jr’s obvious appeal to the anti-vax vote in the MAGA base. It also could’ve been calling Trump out for not firing Fauci that really got the steam really coming out of Cheung’s massive cranium.

Republican Texas Congressman Pete Sessions was the first loser to be dropped from the field of seven candidates running for the GOP’s House speaker nomination on Tuesday, CNN’s Manu Raju reports adding that House Whip Tom Emmer came in first with 70-ish votes followed by Louisiana Congressman Mike Johnson in second. Earlier on Tuesday backbencher Gary Palmer dropped out before the vote even started as did Pennsylvanian Dan Meuser on Monday night.

Tom Emmer might be screwed on the floor if he wins as Georgia MAGA Congressman Rick Allen said he’s not going to support Emmer because he voted in favor of protecting gay marriage, lol.

MAGA lawyer Jenna Ellis will take a plea deal Tuesday for her involvement in the Trump Regime’s post-2020 election coup attempt in Georgia, copping to one count of aiding and abetting false statements and writings, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s Tamar Hallerman reports.

Ellis is now the fourth of the 19 defendants charged in the conspiracy to flip for Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis, following fellow MAGAttorneys Sidney “Kraken” Powell and Kenny Chesebro, and Atlanta bail bondsman Scott Hall to agree to cooperate with the DA as she seeks to bring the Orange God Emperor and his minions to justice for trying to destroy American democracy.

Trump had famously refused to pay for Ellis’s representation since, by the time she was indicted along with him and the others, she had publicly endorsed now-doomed rival Ron DeSantis. Typical for the fat bastard as now Ellis is going to testify against him in this and probably his federal trial.

Lying hacks @RollingStone:

For 7 years, Catherine & I have attended nearly EVERY Astros home playoff game.

If they’re going to blame me for our recent home losses, pls also credit us for TWO World Series Championships & SEVEN consecutive ALCS’s—we were there cheering Stros on! https://t.co/fkk992f1am

— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) October 23, 2023

Sorry, mistake in the headline. It should’ve said “Ted Cruz insists he’s not a jinx for the Astros hours before they lose for the fifth time – and get eliminated from the ALCS – with him in attendance.”

Because that’s what happened. The Astros lost their fifth of five 2023 postseason games with Ted Cruz present, falling 11 to 5 to the Texas Rangers in Game 7 of the ALCS on Monday night, with Texas now set to face either the Philadelphia Phillies or Arizona Diamondbacks in the World Series.

The Xi Regime on Tuesday finally sort of but not really explained where the hell Defense Minister Li Shangfu has been for the last two months, announcing that the commie military general has been fired nonchalantly in a release on CCP comings and goings, the New York Times reports.

US intel had indicated that Li was under investigation for some kind of corruption offenses before he was disappeared. It’s not clear if he’s just kicking back on the sofa or if he’s cuffed to a pipe in the basement of a military prison somewhere in Beijing in between tickle torture sessions.

“Sen Jeff Wilson was arrested at the Hong Kong airport Friday night after he discovered a pistol in his carry-on luggage and reported it to customs authorities. Wilson has been charged with possession of an unregistered firearm. He was released Sunday after posting bail and faces a hearing on Oct 30. ‘It was an honest mistake, and I expect the situation to be resolved shortly,’ he said. Wilson, traveling with his wife, was on the first leg of a five-week vacation in Southeast Asia.”

“Wilson said he did not realize his pistol was in his briefcase when he passed through airport security in Portland, and baggage screeners failed to note it. Wilson said he discovered the weapon mid-flight between San Francisco and Hong Kong, when he reached into his briefcase for a piece of gum, and felt his unloaded revolver inside. When the plane landed, he immediately went to customs officials and called their attention to the issue. Press accounts indicating that the weapon was discovered during a bag check are incorrect, Wilson said,” says a statement from dipshit Washington state Senator Jeff Wilson’s office after the unfortunate and hilarious fuckup.

CNN reports Wilson faces 14 years in a ChiCom prison for being such a goddamned idiot. Neither that article nor his statement say why he didn’t just dump the gun in the plane’s toilet or something.

“Donald J Trump respectfully submits this motion to dismiss the charges on the basis of selective and vindictive prosecution. The core conduct alleged in the indictment relating to the presentation of alternate electors has a historical basis that dates back to 1800 and spans at least seven other elections. There are no other prosecutions in American history relating to these types of activities.”

“The allegations in the indictment involve constitutionally authorized activities by President Trump as Commander In Chief, as well as speech and expressive conduct protected by the First Amendment. Given this context, it is no surprise that in the months following the 2020 election, senior government officials rejected an investigation of President Trump as unfounded and potentially unconstitutional. However, biased prosecutors pursued charges despite the evidence, rather than based on it, with one prosecutor violating DOJ rules and ethical norms by forecasting the investigation in a television interview on 60 Minutes. Even the Attorney General felt ‘boxed in’ by the onslaught,” write the fat bastard’s stupid lawyers in a motion filed early Tuesday.

It’s just one of several Team Orange submitted to the court overnight. Another whines “The prosecution does not explain how President Trump violated these statutes, beyond simply saying he has while regurgitating the statutory language.” A third cries that “allegations related to” the Capitol insurrection in the indictment “are not relevant and are prejudicial and inflammatory.”

With the big-money donors winnowing the field of GOP candidates, a number have had to make some hard choices lately.  Mike Pence is having trouble qualifying for the third candidate debate, slated for November 8th in Miami, with Chris Christie and Tim Scott falling further behind.

The Washington Post reports Scott is also making the dramatic step of pulling all staff from New Hampshire–where Scott ranks somewhere between a “leaf peeper” and Dennis Kucinich in the polls–and piling his resources into Iowa, where he’s buying ads and adding field staff to try to drive numbers out for the January caucuses.

Text messages newly deciphered by the Arizona Republic after two years disclosed the CEO of Cyber Ninjas, the incompetent group of Republican operatives hired by the Arizona GOP to try to undermine confidence in the final election tally, tried to recruit the Michigan GOP into a similar farce.

Cyber Ninjas CEO Doug Logan exchanged a series of texts with Michigan attorney Stefanie Lambert, who was leading an election denialism effort in that state, showing the pair discussing possible funding opportunities and concerns of then GOP state senate president Karen Fann about the public finding out about their funding plans.

“She doesn’t want the Senate to look bad for not properly funding it,” Logan messaged Lambert in July 2021–more than six months after Joe Biden had been inaugurated.  Lambert was indicted in August 2023 on charges of undue possession of a voting machine, conspiracy to commit undue possession of a voting machine, conspiracy to commit unauthorized access to a computer system, and willfully damaging a voting machine.  Each charge carries a prison term of up to five years.

The GOP intraparty race to become Speaker of the House has taken a major hit as Pennsylvania Republican Dan Meuser announced that he’s dropping out of the race, less than twelve hours after the initial report that he was vying for the post, according to WHTM ABC-27 in Harrisburg.

As the House approaches the start of its third week without a Speaker, eight people on the ballot who will never get the 217 votes needed from Republicans to get the position.