Category: Uncategorized

Republican Alabama state Representative David Cole on Thursday struck a plea deal with prosecutors after the fucker was caught voting in a district he does not live in, agreeing to resign from office and serve 60 days in jail plus three years probation for the crime, the AP reports.

“Dr Cole admits and takes full responsibility for the mistakes he made in the political process. He entered the process to serve his community. He has lived a life of service including serving for 22 years in the Army with tours in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Egypt,” said Cole’s lawyer in a statement. We thank him for his service and ask what the fuck that has to do with him getting caught renting a room for $5 a month and not living there just so he could vote and run for office in another district while his party’s been on a non-stop “election integrity” crusade for three years and counting.

The already very weird story of disgraced former Trump’s voice sounding very fucking weird during a phone interview with incompetent propagandist John Solomon on Thursday got considerably weirder early Friday when either Trump himself or more likely one of the minions on his marketing team went and posted a clip of it under the twice-impeached loser’s Truth Social account.

Robert Sigg, CEO of the right wing “Real America’s Voice” streaming network (all too ironically-named given the subject at hand) told the Daily Beast that it sounded like ChatGPT and “an internal investigation will be needed” whether Solomon and crew were somehow duped by an impersonator or an AI bot trained to deep fake the fat bastard’s voice. The Beast were unable to get a comment out of Trump’s campaign for their story and left it up in the air as such. Now this clip gets posted to an official Trump Reich channel, so here we are with a “confirmation” of its veracity and zero explanation as to why he sounded so lisp-y and robotic. Way to preemptively tamp down speculation that Donald is indisposed and they deployed a deep fake voice bot to sub in for him.

“CPAC is being terrorized by a demon self-described as The Daily Beast, The good news is the leadership of CPAC knows how the epic battle against the Beast ends. I’d short the stock,” says dick-grabbing CPAC chief Matt Schlapp through his publicist in a response to a request for comment from the Beast for their story on how Schlapp and his wife Mercedes brought in a Catholic priest to perform an exorcism on the right wing fan-con’s headquarters last spring after a group of junior employees resigned en masse in protest of the asshole’s deranged behavior in the workplace.

The funny thing is the story’s already been confirmed by general counsel David Safavian, who tweeted “Now that we’ve performed an exorcism on a recently vacated office, I’m enjoying my new private cigar lounge,” with a pic of an office building’s roof deck on May 11, 2022. A source tells the Beast that, on top of the usual sprinkling of holy water and blessing the remaining staff, the rite included a “performative” prayer circle in Schlapp’s office. “As the priest made his way through the office, spritzing holy water room to room, employees nudged him towards Matt’s office. The way he had treated junior employees, it seemed to us like he was the one who needed it the most.”

The priest placed medallions to Saint Benedict, the patron of exorcisms above each doorway in the office, a talisman meant for, among other spiritual benefits, “a prayer for strength in time of temptation.” Obviously it didn’t work out, seeing what temptation did to Matt just five months later.

The All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office, the Pentagon office established to investigate reports of Unidentified Aerial Phenomena, or UAPs (née UFOs) has launched a public-facing website where they posted information about its investigations and other issues.

One yet-to-launch feature of the new site: a method for former or current members of the military, government employees or military contractors who had “direct knowledge of U.S. Government programs or activities related to UAP dating back to 1945,” with a footnote that the Congressional mandate for the investigation dictates it also undertakes a historical review.

So if you heard the story from your Uncle Phil about his time in the Air Force when he saw something over Poughkeepsie, sober him up and get him logged in.

The death of an elderly North Carolina woman who died after her oxygen-concentration device stopped working because someone shot out a power transformer, cutting power to her neighborhood, has been ruled a homicide by the state medical examiner, raising the stakes in a series of similar attacks that have been undertaken by right-wing groups nationwide.

Per the Washington Post, 87-year-old Karin Zoanelli died on December 3rd after her device stopped working when 45,000 residents of Moore County lost power. Zoanelli’s husband woke in the middle of the night to find her lying on the floor with no pulse.

At the time, police said the attack appeared deliberate, with the shooter knowing exactly what to target to knock out power to the most people. A neo-Nazi group claimed responsibility, saying it was done to prevent a drag show from performing at a nearby club.  The damage from the attack caused so much damage, internet service was cut, schools had to be closed and pharmacies had to relocate or discard refrigerated drugs. 

Explaining her master, disgraced former President Trump’s reasoning for skipping his in-person arraignment in Atlanta next week, shitty MAGA lawyer Alina Habba on Thursday told Fox News “Obviously he waived his right to go in for an arraignment in person because why give them more of a media frenzy? We don’t need that.” She then continued repeatedly using the word “we” to talk about the legal team’s strategy as if she’s going to actually work on the case instead of going on TV to spew this kind of bullshit and that we didn’t know she’d been demoted to that “role” months ago.

Seriously though, what the hell is with this “media frenzy” bullshit? That’s all Trump does, everything about him is a “media frenzy,” and of course this dickhead filling in for Hannity doesn’t stop her to point that out. This simply further bolsters our theory that Inmate P01135809 is scared of appearing on live television in a situation where someone else – a judge, namely – is in control. Earlier on Thursday a Fulton County judge ruled that the fat bastard’s trial will be televised and we would bet a 30-rack of Keystone that if Donald fails to get the case removed to federal court (where news cameras are prohibited by default) then he will move to oppose the ruling. Count on it.

Later in the hit Habba continued acting like she was going to be working the case, saying “We’re going to argue that it’s impossible for one person to be in four different places, that this is election interference, and then we’re take a look each individual person and say ‘you ran for office based on that fact that you said you were going to get Trump,'” further underscoring why she’s not the lawyer lawyer but the TV lawyer who explains to Fox’s audience the opposite of how criminal law works.

“Today in the Northern District of Georgia and in the District of Arizona, the Justice Department secured guilty pleas in two criminal cases involving defendants charged with making illegal threats against members of the election community. The guilty pleas follow two recent sentencings in the District of Arizona and the Northern District of Texas. To date, the Justice Department’s Election Threats Task Force has charged 14 cases involving threats against the election community and secured nine convictions,” says a Justice Department press release heralding the Thursday twofer of guilty pleas by demented MAGA terrorists Josh Russell of Ohio and Chad Stark of Texas.

Neither of the press releases identified the targets by name. In Stark’s case, on January 5, 2021 the asshole posted a Craigslist ad titled “Georgia Patriots it’s time to kill [Official A] the Chinese agent – $10,000” with the description “It’s time to invoke our Second Amendment right it’s time to put a bullet in the treasonous Chinese [Official A]. Then we work our way down to [Official B] the local and federal corrupt judges,” per the press release. Reuters reported in early 2022 that the threat specifically mentioned Georgia Governor Brian Kemp and Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger. “If we want our country back we have to exterminate these people. One good loyal Patriot deer hunter in camo and a rifle can send a very clear message to these corrupt governors.. milita up Georgia it’s time to spill blood… we need to pay a visit to [Official C] and her family as well and put a bullet her behind the ears,” Stark continued. It’s less clear who “Official C” is but we would not be surprised if it were Ruby Freeman as this was just three days after Trump ranted about her to Raffensperger.

“They didn’t fight hard enough when they went after Donald Trump originally,” former lawyer and alleged lush Rudy Giuliani asserts before reflexively asserting his devotion.  “I did, as his lawyer, but America didn’t.  Basically they let them trash his Constitutional rights, his right to counsel.  I mean, five of his lawyers are indicted.  That’s not an accident.  I mean, that’s a, that’s a, that’s a basic attack on the right to counsel, so that we can’t enjoy the attorney-client privilege and so that other people will be afraid to represent him or his, ah, his, ah, his allies.  [Overtalk] he’s had a very hard time getting a lawyer.”

Rudy’s like that ex who screams at you as they’re walking out the door for the next to last time, “You’ll never find another one like me!”  Well, yeah, I hope not.  And I doubt Trump is looking for another lawyer of Rudy’s caliber, so the whole attorney-client privilege thing is overridden by the co-conspirators’ relationship.  But sure, it could be a complete governmental conspiracy to prevent Trump from talking to his lawyers. Or it could be that Trump routinely listened to corrupt lawyers.  Six of one.

While the candidates rehearsed for their dog-and-pony show dubbed the First Republican Presidential Debate, the staff for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s Super PAC stood in front of a group of GOP megadonors and told them they needed a cash injection of $50 million over the next four months, CNN reports.  Plus they made a bigger ask for the first quarter of 2024.

While in Milwaukee for the debate, Never Back Down CEO Chris Jankowski, chief operating officer Kristin Davison and chief strategist Jeff Roe gave about fifty donors a presentation on the group’s plan to overcome the negative inertia of the campaign, including leaning more on the charismatic Florida First Wife Casey DeSantis instead of the oafish male.

“We just need your help getting $50 million more by the end of the year, and $100 million more by the end of March,”  Jankowski said according to the audio reviewed by CNN. “I’m not worried about the second 50. We need the first 50.”

From the “I swear I thought it was Florida” Department:  Norfolk, Nebraska police pulled over Lee Meyer of Neligh as he was driving through the town because his passenger could not keep himself inside the vehicle, News Channel Nebraska reports.  The reason: the passenger was a 1,500-pound Watusi bull named Howdy Doody.

It’s unclear why Meyer had Howdy in the vehicle with him or where they were going, but given the amount of modifications done to the Ford Crown Victoria, this wasn’t Howdy Doody’s first time at this rodeo.

The Biden Administration announced it will give added consideration to applicants with pro-union stances for the $15.5 billion in aid and incentives available it will distribute to help American automotive companies transition to building electric vehicles, the Washington Post says.

The move helps quiet some of the fears felt by the United Auto Workers and other related unions that believed the switch to manufacturing electric vehicles would mean a weakened membership.  The UAW could call a strike in September against Detroit’s Big Three over long-standing wage and benefit conflicts.

Jesse Watters believes that everything is a conspiracy–except the actual conspiracy to undermine the Constitution Trump led–so he rehashes the old, worn trope of “climate change is a money-making pyramid scheme run by academics.”  … because academics studying climate change are just rolling in cash.  Oh and that waterfall of climate change money funding academic studies?  All that “green money” obviously dwarfs the amount of cash oil companies used to fund bogus academic studies from institutes they funded or to try to discredit legitimate studies’ findings.  And they all did that while their internal scientists and leaders understood the risks to the climate and the environment their products caused.

Conservatives tried this with tobacco, claiming the loss of tobacco farms would be the end of agriculture in the US and that the anti-tobacco lobby was a superfunded effort by Big Health, when in fact, it was a smear campaign by Big Tobacco.  Sorry, I don’t know who the advertiser after this segment on The Five was:  Exxon or the American Petroleum Institute.

Remember Brandon Fellows, that lovely fella whose jury sent a note to the judge earlier Thursday asking if he could get their personal information because they were concerned he’d retaliate?  Well, said jury found Mr. Fellows guilty on all three counts he faced relating to his participating in the January 6th Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress, reports CBS News’ Scott MacFarlane.

Noting that occasional bouts of lightheadedness are not uncommon with patients recovering from concussions, the Attending Physician of Congress, Dr. Brian Monahan, cleared Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell to continue working, saying the incidents where McConnell apparently froze are a possible after-effect of McConnell’s head injury sustained in March.

“I have consulted with Leader McConnell and conferred with his neurology team. After evaluating yesterday’s incident, I have informed Leader McConnell that he is medically clear to continue with his schedule as planned. Occasional lightheadedness is not uncommon in concussion recovery and can also be expected as a result of dehydration,” Monahan said in a brief written statement.

Philadelphian Zack Rehl, the leader of the local Proud Boys chapter, was sentenced to 15 years in prison, one of the longest sentences in the lot of January 6th cases, for his role in the January 6th Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress, with US District Judge Timothy Kelly not buying into Rehl’s lawyer’s claim that people are making too much about the coup attempt because it focuses on Donald Trump.  Federal prosecutors sought a 30 year sentence.

Rehl was sentenced to the lengthy sentence largely because of his continued contempt for the proceedings, including lying on the stand and efforts to obstruct the investigation.  Unlike fellow defendant Joseph Biggs, Rehl was also found guilty of physically assaulting police officers, including using a chemical spray during the attack.  Plus, after the attack, Rehl bragged about it to others via direct messages and social media.

After his lawyer argued Donald Trump should be held culpable for misleading people like Rehl, Kelly said he didn’t buy it.  Rehl echoed this in his statement to the court:  “Politicians spread lies about elections. … I fell for it hook, line and sinker…it cost me everything.” He declared that he’s “done with politics” and tried to butter up the judge by declaring that Kelly had been fair, saying Rehl has “sung [the judge’s] praises.”  Rehl apologized to his family for dragging them into this, but he did not apologize to the law enforcement officers he attacked or to the members of Congress he targetted.

Unable to shame him into resignation and unwilling to expel a fellow Republican regardless of how heinous his actions are, the GOP Speaker of the Ohio state house removed a Republican member awaiting trial after he was arrested for domestic assault and making threats.

The Akron Beacon Journal reports House Speaker Jason Stephens removed Bob Young from his role as head of the influential House Pension Committee.  As chair, Young received a $9,000 pay increase on his $69,876 lawmaker’s salary.  Young was arrested after slapping two family members during an episode in which he explained he “undervalued Christ as a priority in my family’s life.”  He apparently continued to undervalue the Lord earlier this week when he was arrested for violating a restraining order stemming from the assault.

Young personifies the two-tiered justice system Republicans like Jim Jordan decry.  Instead of facing felony counts for assaulting TWO members of his family at his home when allegedly drunk, Young’s charges were mysteriously reduced to misdemeanors–a move likely having nothing at all to do with the fact that Young would’ve been forced out of the state assembly, by rule, if he was convicted of the felony charge.

Brendan Keefe of Atlanta First News reports that Georgia Judge Scott McAfee confirmed that all courtroom proceedings relating to the racketeering trial of Donald Trump and his 18 co-defendants will be broadcast on a live YouTube stream, giving the public unparalleled and un-spun transparency into the trial.

This decision plays into the effort of a number of defendants to remove their case to federal court where they would still be prosecuted by Fulton County DA Fani Willis using Georgia law, but federal rules would likely prohibit broadcasts of the hearings.

Claiming he just can’t defend himself with so many other co-conspirators presumably corroborating the evidence against him, Donald Trump has filed a motion to sever from the other defendants his Fulton County, Georgia racketeering case regarding his attempt undermine the certified results of the 2020 presidential election in Georgia.

“Undersigned lead counsel will not have sufficient time to prepare President Trump’s case for trial by the October 23, 2023 scheduled trial date of co- defendant Chesebro, who has demanded a speedy trial. Respectfully, requiring less than two months preparation time to defend a 98-page indictment, charging 19 defendants, with 41 various charges including a RICO conspiracy charge with 161 Overt Acts, Solicitation of Violation of Oath by Public Officer, False Statements and Writings, Forgery, Influencing Witnesses, Computer Crimes, Conspiracy to Defraud the State, and other offenses would violate President Trump’s federal and state constitutional rights to a fair trial and due process of law,” Trump’s lawyer Stephen Sadow said in a motion, continuing to lay the groundwork for an “ineffective counsel” basis for an appeal.

A group of rank-and-file Republican Senators have been in contact over the last few days during the recess to discuss options to deal with the apparent ongoing health issues impacting Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who suffered his second public seizure-type episode in a little over a month, Politico reports.

Within the Republican caucus, a group of five members can call for a special meeting of GOP Senators to discuss pressing issues.  Republican Senators also meet two or three times each month as a group in regularly scheduled meetings, but a special conference meeting would demonstrate the urgency to deal with the apparent leadership issue.

The 82-year-old McConnell downplayed the episodes where he stood motionless and seemingly unable to respond to the situation around him.  He suffered a fall and a head injury while attending a fundraiser at a now-sold Trump hotel in March which resulted in a hospital stay and a long rehab.

At the start of the session, McConnell faced his first GOP leadership challenge when Bat Boy cosplayer and one-time Medicare fraud record holder from Florida Rick Scott sought the leadership job, only to lose to McConnell by a 37-10 vote.

Prime Minister Fumio Kishida and three of his administration’s top ministers, joined by US Ambassador to Japan Rahm Emanuel,  dined on sashimi harvested from the waters off Fukushima on Thursday to demonstrate the safety of the food sources off the coast of one of the world’s worst nuclear accidents, the Washington Post reports.

Japan plans to release more than 500 Olympic swimming pools-worth of radioactive water into the surrounding environment over the next 30 years, a plan that will dissipate the remaining radioactive material in the contaminated water until it is an “insignificant” amount, official said.  Japanese authorities and the International Atomic Energy Agency has said the level of radiation to be released will not pose a danger to humans.