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Faced with fawning English import who’s taking the job from an ‘Murican-born conservative propagandist whitewashed history of Donald Trump’s record, GOP presidential candidate and guy from Jersey Chris Christie did not hold back.  And this is a response that should be memorized and cut-and-pasted whenever a MAGAt says Trump ruled in foreign affairs–not the kind with Czech models, I mean:

Look, I don’t think that by calling Kim Jong-un “a great guy” he stopped him from developing missile technology that now allows those missiles to get to the United States.  That happened on Donald Trump’s watch.  And Putin continued to build up his military and build forces onto the border, and he doesn’t answer for that either.  And he doesn’t answer for holding back military aid from Ukraine to try to get dirt on Joe Biden.  All those things are not things that send confidence to foreign leaders or fear in the heart of despots.

Reportedly angry that Republican Iowa Governor and Melania-esque (if you squint) wax figurine Kim Reynolds drew the ire of indicted national security risk Donald Trump because she paid compliments to his opponents, particularly Ron DeSantis, leading Trump to skip an upcoming Iowa forum for GOP presidential candidates, the New York Times reports.

Trump will not attend the Family Leadership Summit, a conservative Christian conference that would be the first major gathering for GOP candidates.  Candidates Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley, Asa Hutchinson, Mike Pence, Tim Scott and Vivek Ramaswamy are all scheduled to attend.  Chris Christie is the only other Republican candidate not scheduled to attend.

And Trump’s absence is already been seen as a slap in the face to Iowa voters, a view his opponents are capitalizing on in fundraising appeals. “With Trump’s personality, I feel he thinks he owns Iowa,” said Steve Boender, a board member for the Family Leader, “and I’m not sure he does. … I think Trump’s negativity is hurting things a little bit.”

Ep. 9 The Andrew Tate interview pic.twitter.com/0KKMzSVmMO

— Tucker Carlson (@TuckerCarlson) July 11, 2023

You know that Matt Sheehy kid has a lot going for him in the Montana GOP primary race to take on the flat-topped old weirdo incumbent Dem Jon Tester in 2024. Military veteran? Check. Successful businessman? Check. Likes guns? Check. White? Check. Have the other incumbent, Republican Senator Steve Daines, leading the NRSC and a fellow Montanan mentoring him? Checkcheckcheck.

Now Insider reports that Sheehy’s Facebook history checks a lot of the boxes of a textbook candidate vetting fuckup. Racist slurs and Halloween costumes? Check. Tagging his future wife in a pic of a woman exposing her left nipple? Check. Pics of homoerotic “horseplay”? Check. The best part is that Sheehy made his profile private but failed to untag himself from all these other posts, meaning that this could be merely the tip of the iceberg with this sort of damning bullshit.

Danies was supposed to be better at this than his failed predecessor Rick Scott who, although he was a lazy arrogant dick who mailed in the actual campaigning part, you can’t put all or even most of the blame on him for the one seat net loss in 2022. Trump set Scott up to fail by taking over the recruiting end with his stupid fucking endorsements of mutant assholes like Blake Masters and Herschel Walker. Daines doesn’t have the same problem yet and may not ever given Trump having his tiny hands full with his own campaign and criminal indictments. Sheehy’s rival, MAGA freak Congressman Matt Rosendale, is going to milk the homoerotic shit every day until the primary, an unforced headache for Daines before he even has to worry about Kari Lake running in Arizona.

A monthly filing to the Federal Election shows that the state Republican Party of Minnesota has just $53.81 cash on hand and $335,781.36 in “Debts and Obligations Owed BY the Committee,” which is uh, considerably worse than even the recent financial shitshows the Arizona and Michigan GOPs find themselves facing right now… much less enough for a decent date night at Applebee’s.

Maybe an even better comparison point is with the Colorado GOP. It’s a state with a slightly larger population, similarly darker shade of purple politically, a place where Republicans haven’t had a good year in a while, especially statewide. The Centennial State GOP still managed to be $117,622.92 in the black, with $0 owed, which would definitely make it harder for the Minnesota MAGA assholes to blame their money problems on “Bidenflation” should they be put on the spot to explain it.

Department of Justice officials on Tuesday officially declared that defending Trump his sexual abuse victim, writer EJ Carroll, is no longer their problem after five years of pretending that the fat bastard was acting in his official duties as president when he defamed her back in 2018.

“I write to inform you that, in light of the DC Court of Appeals’ clarification of the standard for respondeat superior liability under DC law, see Trump v Carroll, 292 A3d 220 (DC 2023), as well as new factual developments, the Department of Justice is declining to certify under the Westfall Act, 28 USC § 2679(d), that defendant Donald J Trump was acting within the scope of his office and employment as President of the United States when he made the statements that form the basis of the defamation claims in plaintiff’s Amended Complaint in this action,” wrote Principal Deputy Assistant Attorney General Brian Boynton to Carroll’s lawyer Roberta Kaplan.

You would think that if the MAGA assholes wanted us in the media to stop accusing them of doing the Kremlin’s bidding then maybe they should stop doing the Kremlin’s bidding. Just saying.

Joe Biden should not be dragging us further toward World War III by sending cluster munitions to Ukraine – he should be trying to END the war and stop the horrific death and destruction being caused by an incompetent administration. These unexploded cluster munitions will be killing and maiming innocent Ukrainian men, women, and children for decades to come when they should be used to protect Americans from the invasion on our open border with Mexico. Why are we sending our precious resources to blow up Russian soldiers and mercenaries instead of blowing up the cartels, human traffickers, and caravans from coming to collect free welfare?

Even leftists are opposed to sending the cluster munitions to Ukraine. Lots of them said they’re concerned about the danger the weapons pose to people, which makes them great and effective deterrents to migrants coming to murder white sorority girls at midwestern colleges or put rainbow fentanyl in your children’s Halloween candy. No sense in wasting them on defending Ukraine when the Border Patrol and Texas National Guard could be firing them over the border to scare people away from coming to claim asylum. Too bad Crooked Joe Biden cares more about some territorial dispute in a faraway country instead of Americans. He’s so weak and worthless he won’t even use the cluster bombs against Antifa in Portland. That city’s already been burned to the ground and completely overrun by those Marxist thugs because Joe not a fighter. He doesn’t fight.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage now that we’ve done the easy work of bridging two semi-related MAGA talking points together. We hope our right wing readers enjoyed this.

Lame-brained Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville on Tuesday finally pretended to cave to the reality that white nationalism and racism are the same thing, telling reporters “White nationalists are racists,” while scurrying off the Senate floor, Huffington Post’s Igor Bobic reports.

Tuberville said no when asked if he would apologize as Dem Majority Leader Chuck Schumer demanded, adding that Schumer is the one who “needs to apologize,” without explaining why.

Still pressing forward with the belief that a skinny Israeli messiah destined to liberate his people has been unjustly persecuted by the cruel pagan Emperor Josephus Caesar Biden and the wicked Sanhedrin elder Merrick Garland, lowly recusant James Comer on Tuesday reaffirmed his faith in the recently indicted Gal Luft with a clip of his Monday night appearance on Frau Ingraham’s show.

Gal Luft was paid by CEFC, the CCP-linked energy company.

The Bidens partnered with CEFC. Joe & Hunter planned to have office space. Bank records show CEFC wired millions to the Bidens.

Luft supposedly shared info with the FBI on the Bidens & CEFC.

I will request this record. pic.twitter.com/Ma6pN0k9LV

— Rep. James Comer (@RepJamesComer) July 11, 2023

“There are a lot of questions here and it’s just amazing the Department of Justice moves so quickly against some people,” said Comer on Monday as he claimed Luft, already a fugitive from Interpol in Cyprus, had been indicted to shut him up just days after he posted a video professing the “truth” about Hunter Biden and the ChiComs about some energy deal blah blah blah.

The grand jury investigating disgraced former President Trump and his regime’s treasonous attempts to remain in power following his humiliating defeat in the 2020 election are meeting at their usual DC federal courthouse, NBC’s Ryan Reilly reports while noting that one of Jack Smith’s vicious attack dog prosecutors Thomas Windom is in attendance. Reilly recognized Windom but not any witnesses entering the room, which could mean Tuesday’s going to be another very bad day for the Orange Defendant and his buddies if nobody’s sitting down to testify to the grand jurors.

In very much related news and for pretty much the same crime – localized to Georgia – Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis is selecting the grand jury that will vote upon the recommendations from the special grand jury that heard testimony and examined evidence presented to them last year in the MAGA Reich’s post-2020 election coup attempt in the Peach State. Though in several publicly reported announcements and scheduling shuffles Willis has already telegraphed that the big day is coming between August 7th and 21st, she could always be pulling some kind of head fake and have the grand jury drop the hammer earlier.

Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin on Tuesday heralded the launch of “Secure Your Vote Virginia,” a new effort aimed at begging Republican and swing voters to please, please for the love of God just stop listening to Trump and the Gateway Pundit and all the other MAGA assholes who reflexively associate early and mail in voting with fraud, just like Ronna Not-Romney’s national initiative.

“We can’t go into Election Day down thousands of votes,” Youngkin said in a statement to NBC. “We fundamentally believe Secure Your Vote Virginia is how, together, we can win in 2023 and beyond.”

It’s definitely a more optimistic message than what Old Dominion State Trump fans were pushing in September 2020 when they showed up at a polling site in Fairfax County to literally fucking protest against early voting. Best of luck to Youngkin on selling “Secure Your Vote” to these folks.

🚨 BREAKING 🚨 Fox News reports A NEW VILLAIN IN THE HUNTER BIDEN INVESTIGATION HAS BEEN FOUND! That’s right! Delaware Assistant US Attorney Lesley Wolf “is facing scrutiny amid allegations she limited questioning and inquiries about President Biden and blocked search warrants because she was worried about ‘optics’ during the years-long probe.” Fox News doesn’t say who’s behind the “scrutiny” because LOL it’s their very own right wing propaganda operation!

“In October 2020, Wolf reviewed an affidavit for a search warrant of Hunter Biden’s residence, and ‘agreed that probable cause had been achieved,’ [wienery IRS “whistleblower” Gary] Shapley testified. However, Shapley said Wolf ultimately would not allow a physical search warrant on the president’s son,” Fox adds and LOL that was when Trump was still president and LOL when far right Fred Flintstone-lookalike Bill Barr was still Attorney General. According to one of those lame “five fast facts” listicles at Heavy.com, Wolf is a DEMOCRAT who donated to now Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro’s campaign. Heavy also kind of went out of their way to mention that she’s a Jew!

“EEEEEWWW! JEWS!” MAGA readers are supposed to say about Wolf, Shapiro, and presumably her boss, Trump-appointed Delaware US Attorney David Weiss. However the main intended takeaway is Trump was the smartest and most powerful US president ever but he was thwarted at every turn by swamp creatures like Barr, Wolf, and Weiss who worked hard to protect the “uniparty establishment” represented by Joe and Hunter Biden because Deep State globalism Soros something.

Violent crime is up 33% in DC and now they are cracking down on crime by treating any one who shoots a gun as a felon.

But it should’ve never gotten to this point.

Matthew Graves, the US attorney that is responsible for prosecuting crime in DC, lets 67% of the criminals go…

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) July 11, 2023

Apparently unfamiliar with Washington, DC where–like all cities–firing a gun is not done to hunt deer or shoot skeet, Marge wants to decriminalize the discharge of a firearm within the limits of 7th most-densely populated city in the US.  …’cause freedum.

Sources close to spandex-wearing grapple freak Jim Jordan tell the Wall Street Journal he and his minions on the House Judiciary Committee will finally move forward on funding a new headquarters for the FBI outside of DC… 700 miles outside of DC, in Huntsville, Alabama, in fact.

Jordan plans to attach a rider to an upcoming appropriations bill to move the Bureau’s leadership to an already existing FBI campus in Alabama’s largest city. It has no chance of passing, and is obviously just fucking pointless trolling against the top federal law enforcement agency’s “liberal bias.” However you can’t say forcing 5,500 agents, employees, and their families to pack up their lives and move from the Capital region to a depressed rural backwater wouldn’t be a hell of an effective way for Jordan to “dismantle” the nation’s top federal law enforcement agency for having the temerity to investigate and prosecute his Holy Orange God Emperor.

Florida MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon on Tuesday postponed the scheduled Friday hearing in the federal case against fat former President Trump and his minion Walt Nauta for stealing and hoarding classified documents, pushing the “crucial” CIPA conference back to Tuesday, July 18th due to a scheduling conflict for Nauta’s main lawyer Stan Woodward. The four day delay isn’t significant, but it’s not nothing either especially considering the appearance had originally been set for June 26th and was pushed back as Nauta took his time picking out a “local counsel” to represent him and the overall tight timeframe to get a jury seated before the target trial start of December.

In related and not great news, the Daily Beast reports that Cannon appears to be taking steps to hold the trial deep in MAGA country where the jury pool is ripe for mistrial or even nullification.

Responding to a lawsuit filed by an environmental group, a panel from the Fourth Circuit Court blocked the oil pipeline Joe Manchin demanded approval for to get his vote to raise the debt ceiling earlier this year, Politico writes.

The Fourth Circuit ruled in favor of the Wilderness Society which objected to a three-mile stretch of the planned 303-mile pipeline that runs through the Jefferson National Forest in Virginia.  The stay is likely to be overturned on appeal.

“This latest effort by the activist Fourth Circuit Court flies in the face of the law that was passed by a bipartisan Congress and signed by President Biden,” West Virginia Republican Senator Shelly Moore Capito said in a press release, apparently switching her fluid opinion of federal activist judges.

Moaning over yet another one of their “whistleblowers” turning out to be a complete fraud and a scumbag, MAGA Congresswoman Nancy Mace on Monday went all in on acting like this Gal Luft asshole is a victim of a “Biden Crime Family” conspiracy and not simply a criminal. The best part was when she omitted most of the charges against Luft, skipping the counts related to trafficking arms to Libya and spying for the ChiComs, and making it sound like he was only hit with a FARA violation – which has for years been merely a “process crime” to “Deep State” conspiracy aficionados. “We are going to work as hard as we can and deliver as much evidence as we can to the American people so that they can decide whether or not Joe Biden should be in prison,” Mace added later.

An unknown assassin gunned down Russian submarine commander during his morning jog in the southeastern city of Krasnodar on Monday, a cancelation made easier because the fucking idiot posted his running route on an exercise social media app, the Daily Beast reports.

Stanislav Rzhitsky definitely had a target on his back after his vessel launched a missile attack that killed 27 civilians last year, but it’s unclear if the Ukrainians definitely did it given the obvious recent domestic tensions in Russia. The Ukrainian intelligence directorate denied involvement in Rzhitsky’s death, simply saying in a press statement that the assassin “should be sought within Russia itself, where internal protest against the war in Ukraine is growing.”