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Yet another misrepresentation of the facts in turgid Congressman Jim Jordan’s bitchy meltdown over the prosecution of his Orange Lord and Savior was revealed Monday, as Politico reports a former FBI official’s closed-door interview to the House Judiciary Committee about the lead-up to the raid Mar-a-Lago wasn’t even remotely as damaging as Jordan made it sound in a letter to Attorney General Merrick Garland demanding more documents and testimony from the Bureau.

What Jordan describes as former FBI Washington Field Office Chief Steven D’Antuono having “expressed strong concerns with the Department’s pursuit of the raid” during the in last week was actually a tactical disagreement between the FBI and Justice Department prosecutors that D’Antuono said was “an everyday discussion,” per Politico. “We made comments like this – like, ‘no one is down there anyway at this point,’ right. It’s empty. The [former] president is gone. He was in Bedminster, or wherever he was. Let’s plan this the right way. We’ve got time,” said D’Antuono.

Stupid story short, Jordan cherry-picked from the interview to try the best he could to make it sound like D’Antuono was having some sort of crisis of conscience over subjecting the Orange Allah to such an atrocity when none of that happened. “So if somebody took it the other way, I’m sorry, but that’s – that was just the general discussion that we would have in every case. Every case,” literally is what D’Antuono told investigators in the interview last Tuesday.

The search for a The Villages, Florida-area registered Republican voter ended happily when she was found safe and sound, smoking a cigarette outside of a Wawa convenience store late Thursday, Villages-News.com reports. Staff at the UF Health-The Villages Hospital had become concerned for 57 year-old Margaret Mary Maitski after she had become combative with them as she was being discharged following treatment for an unspecified issue and stormed off in a stolen ambulance.

When Sumter County sheriff’s deputies located the stolen ambulance at a nearby Wawa convenience store, they were relieved to also find Maitski sitting on an outdoor picnic table smoking a cigarette with other folks. Upon informing her that she was under arrest for motor vehicle theft, she became “verbally abusive and shouting vulgarities” while resisting cops’ efforts to detain her.

The deputy who drove Maitski to Sumpter County Detention Center noted that the suspect said “several explicit sexual remarks, racial remarks and stated several times she is going to find me and kill me,” during the ride. Maitski faces charges of theft of a motor vehicle, battery on a law enforcement officer, intimidation, and resisting arrest. She was booked on $13,000 bond.

Likely explaining why Junior doesn’t live at his father’s supper club for the elderly, Fox bro Jesse Watters asserts the tens of thousands of pages of classified documents accused felon Donald Trump had scattered around Mar-a-Lago weren’t as bad as if bricks of cocaine had been found.

“[The Fox version of reality] doesn’t matter.  They’re scaring away donors and swing voters.  Republicans need to get their act together and they better circle the wagons.  If he had cocaine in those boxes that were stacked up in the ballroom, then maybe if he’s running a cocaine ring out of Mar-a-Lago, maybe they don’t circle the wagons.”

Senate Minority Grandpa Charles Grassley on Monday claimed in a floor speech that there’s audio of Joe Biden getting bribed by Burisma, Fox News reports without explaining why Grassley was never able to obtain three or four years ago the last time they were on this stupid bullshit.

Grassley claimed their “informant” who we guess is some Ukrainian scumbag has 17 different audio recordings, two of them of then-Vice President Biden that were kept as an “insurance policy.”

In related news, shortly afterward Grassley told a reporter he’s “not a legal expert” when asked if he’d read the 37-count federal indictment against disgraced former President Trump for stealing classified documents. Grassley chaired the Senate Judiciary Committee between 2015 and 2019.

New York City Police Department Commissioner Keechant Sewell abruptly tendered her resignation on Monday, having served less than two years as the first woman in the post, WABC reports.

“Since I joined you almost a year and a half ago we have faced tremendous tragedy, challenges and triumphs together. I have witnessed your compassion, heroics and selflessness on a daily basis. They have reaffirmed to me, what people around the globe have always known: you are an extraordinary collective of hard working public servants dedicated to the safety of this city, engaging our communities and sharing what we know with our partners for the benefit of the world.”

“You and your predecessors are the reason that the NYPD is known as the gold standard in law enforcement. I have had the absolute honor to spend time with our line of duty families. Their loss is immeasurable; their strength is incredible. I thank them for allowing me the privilege to know them and hear the stories of our fallen heroes,” wrote Sewell in a statement, giving no hint of any scandal or personal reason for walking away from the job, so who the hell knows.

Far right scumbag Congressman Andy Ogles on Monday introduced impeachment articles against President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris, accusing Biden of “weaponizing” the presidency and a whole bunch of other bullshit about corruption and what not, Fox News reports.

This lying scumbag would have her fans believe Hillary Clinton was never investigated – except for the incident in 2016 she mentions which probably did more than anything help Trump win.

A coalition of media organizations on Monday filed a motion to allow both still and video cameras in the courtroom during disgraced former President Trump’s arraignment in Miami on Tuesday.

We’re now down to arguing over whether bathrooms typically lock from the outside. Even better is McCarthy whatabouting with Biden, saying the garage where he keeps his prized 1967 Corvette Stingray would not be locked and would be opening up and closing all the time. Kev’s got bigger problems anyway, with the Freedom Caucasians grinding the House to a halt over their tantrums.

Frustrated over the grave legal threats facing fat former President Trump, top Putin regime propagandists have been spitballing new ways to help him in 2024, the Daily Beast reports.

“Let’s release a story where we’ll write that Biden was personally getting $10 million for every day of the war in Ukraine. Who can prove it isn’t so? There are so many criminal cases out there!” said “Americanologist” Dmitry Drobnitsky during a Monday morning edition of Full Contact with Vladimir Solovyov. But you libs are insane if you think the Putin Regime supports Trump.

“NOW THAT THE ‘SEAL’ IS BROKEN, IN ADDITION TO CLOSING THE BORDER & REMOVING ALL OF THE ‘CRIMINAL’ ELEMENTS THAT HAVE ILLEGALLY INVADED OUR COUNTRY, MAKING AMERICA ENERGY INDEPENDENT, & EVEN DOMINANT AGAIN, & IMMEDIATELY ENDING THE WAR BETWEEN RUSSIA & UKRAINE, I WILL APPOINT A REAL SPECIAL ‘PROSECUTOR’ TO GO AFTER THE MOST CORRUPT PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE USA, JOE BIDEN, THE ENTIRE BIDEN CRIME FAMILY, & ALL OTHERS INVOLVED WITH THE DESTRUCTION OF OUR ELECTIONS, BORDERS, & COUNTRY ITSELF!” wrote fat former President Trump on Truth Social on Monday.

Normally we would embed this post but we think it just might end up getting deleted at the urging of his lawyers, even if it’s already been up for about 40 minutes as of this publication.

Judging by the quivering in her voice during this Monday morning appearance on batshit idiot Maria Bartiromo’s Fox Business News show, Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody appears to be more than a little emotionally unstable over her Orange Allah getting indicted for stealing classified documents from the White House and defying a lawful subpoena for their return and seems to suggest that he actually use “But Hillary” as defense in court. It’s part of a larger shift across the MAGAverse where they sound like Mean Old Lady Clinton is the far better option for whatabouting Trump’s crimes concerning classified info than Joe Biden’s minor fuckups with them.

“Tony poisoned the body of our youth, Dylan is poisoning their brains” says the current top comment on the Breitbart article “Dylan Mulvaney Poses with Kellogg’s Tony the Tiger at Tony Awards,” posted Monday. “High sugar carbohydrate garbage. The toxic US GOVERNMENT food pyramid needs to be turned upside-down,” says the top reply by a reader named “LGBFJB+ Advocate.”

Interesting how sugary breakfast cereal is now suddenly a national health crisis to people who also think 5G waves will activate nanobots hidden in COVID vaccines that will turn people into vicious glowing cyber zombies. Almost like they forgot that Kellogg’s has in the past openly marketed to LGBTQ+ folks and this is a brand new “woke” assault on the America they thought they knew.

The US Supreme Court on Monday declined to review a case brought by the North Carolina chapter of the Sons of Confederate Veterans challenging the Tar Heel State DMV’s 2021 decision to stop issuing specialty plates with the racist group’s Stars and Bars flag insignia, WRAL reports.

The MAGA assholes should’ve seen the writing on the wall given the precedent set in a similar case from Texas in 2015 when justices found 5 to 4 that license plates are state property and administrators can decide for themselves what’s allowed on them and what’s not. The plaintiffs were… wait for it… the Texas chapter of the Sons of Confederate Veterans.

During a Monday appearance on Fox and Friends, Republican Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt endorsed Ron DeSantis, emphatically stating he’s the only one who can beat Joe Biden in 2024 election, leading the Orange Defendant to rip into him while also racially denigrating “The Indians.”

“My name is Jon Mellis and I’m a J6er sitting in the DC Jail with many other J6ers. We love you. We appreciate your support of President Trump. Thank you for showing up for him. Please do NOT let any violence happen while you show your support and patriotism to the greatest President in American history. We all know too well that government operatives may be involved. Antifa and BLM agitators will try to attack you, egg you on, and even infiltrate your crowd to cause problems.”

“DO NOT allow violence to occur. Be your brothers’ keeper and be your sisters’ keeper by de-escalating any possible altercations. We J6ers know too well that ANY and ALL violence will be blamed on Trump supporters no matter who initiates it. Strength and Honor, Jon Mellis and the J6ers in the DC Jail,” reads the entirety of an open letter to fellow fanboys written by accused felon Capitol rioter Jon Mellis published Monday in an “exclusive” by the Gateway Pundit.

Smart of them to get ahead of the very strong potential for bloody mayhem outside the courthouse on Tuesday by pre-blaming “agitators” for inciting and the “Deep State” somehow “entrapping” Trump fans into committing the violence they’ll be there fully intent on committing. Who says these guys can’t learn a lesson or two from their ridiculous post-Capitol riot propaganda?

Not wanting all the horrible details of their enabling of the dead evil pimp’s sex trafficking operation revealed in a trial, JP Morgan Chase has settled a federal lawsuit with the victims of dead scumbag, Jeffrey Epstein, the bank announced in a statement on Monday, per the Washington Post.

“The parties believe this settlement is in the best interests of all parties, especially the survivors who were the victims of Epstein’s terrible abuse,” wrote JPMorgan spokeswoman Patricia Wexler.

The parallel case brought by the government of the US Virgin Islands against the bank – in which lies the infamous “Epstein Island” where much of the most heinous abuses occurred – remains active.

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who served on and off for years in the 1990s and 2000s was kind of like an Italian Trump, died Monday at the age of 86, CNBC reports.

Non-fake billionaire liberal benefactor George Soros is handing operations of his business and charitable organizations, including the Open Society Foundations, to his son 37-year-old Alexander, the Wall Street Journal reports.

The 92-year-old Soros has been a mainstay in supporting liberal causes in the US and around the world, funding organizations and political parties that reflect his liberal view.  Alex told the WSJ, “I am more political,” signaling the support for Democratic candidates in the US and liberal parties internationally would continue, if not increase, as he takes control of the family’s $25 billion empire.

Alex to the Journal that he’s likely to spend more to support efforts in the United States to ensure voting rights, enshrine gender rights, and access abortion services, causes his father had not specifically targeted, though he supported.  Alex was voted chair of OSF in December, and has been operating as president of the Soros SuperPAC.

Military analysts say Ukrainian forces have destroyed two destructive TOS-1A “Blazing Sun” multiple thermobaric rocket launch systems, capable of firing up to 24 “flamethrower” missiles holding aerosol explosives, also known as “vacuum bombs,” Newsweek reports.

Prior to the Ukraine invasion, Russia was believed to have about 50 of the weapons systems available for operations.  Designed in the 1980s using a T-72 tank chassis, the TOS-1A was used in the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan to blast reinforced positions or bases built into caves.  According to analysts, in the early days of the war, Ukraine captured a handful of the platforms and destroyed at least three others.  British intelligence reported the Ukrainians have used at least one of the captured TOS-1As on Russian forces.

Aerosol bombs use a two-stage explosive to inflict heavy damage on the enemy.  The first charge releases a fuel mix into the atmosphere, using the oxygen in the air to fuel a larger more, deadlier blast.  This makes a thermobaric bomb deadlier when attack hardened positions, but a volley of multiple rockets can literally suck the oxygen from a region of the battlefield, destroying lightly-armoured vehicles, devastating troop formations, and opening up swaths of territory for advancing troops.