This is, uh, something else. For all the very bad implications this has for Trump’s war on democracy in the cheesehead state – we’re probably at minimum talking about a reversal of the ban on ballot drop boxes – he’s making this about a fucking endorsement he could have given anyway?

There’s an active shooter, reportedly a woman with a rifle, on the loose at the Trump Tower in Chicago, according to some lame site shilled by terrible MAGA lawyer Jenna Ellis. The article at “Trending Politics News” is mostly just embedded tweets from dickhead right wing influencers like Jack Posobiec, Stewie Peters, and Benny Johnson. Then it ends with “Former President Donald Trump was arraigned Tuesday afternoon as he faces criminal charges from Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg. Tuesday evening, Trump gave a rousing speech hitting Bragg and the politically divisive nature of the investigation,” as if at this point it can be somehow connected to a possible shooting rampage at his dump of a building in Chicago.

A Delaware judge on Wednesday ruled that Dominion Voting Systems can force Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch to testify in the $1.6 billion defamation lawsuit against Fox News, CNN reports.

“They are relevant to the case… if Dominion wants to bring them live, they need to issue a trial subpoena, and I would not quash it,” Delaware Superior Court Judge Eric Davis said, adding it would be my discretion that they come” to testify on the stand at the trial, is scheduled to begin later this month in Wilmington. Maybe Hunter Biden should stop by and watch if he’s in town that day.

BREAKING NOOSE: As he had hinted, former Vice President Mike Pence will not appeal a DC federal judge’s ruling ordering him to testify to the grand jury investigating fat former President Trump’s attempts to overturn the results 2020 election following his defeat, Politico reports.

“Vice President Pence will not appeal the Judge’s ruling and will comply with the subpoena as required by law,” said Pence spokesman Devin O’Malley in a statement on Wednesday. In related news CNN’s Kaitlan Collins reported that the Orange Allah’s team told her that they’re unlikely to appeal the Tuesday ruling ordering a bunch of Trump’s other minions to testify.

“America needs a leader who is decisive, respects the Constitution, understands policy, puts family first, and leads by inspiring. That’s why I’m endorsing Ron DeSantis for President. I’ve been honored to call Ron a friend for over a decade. During the six years we served together in Congress, I witnessed Ron fight for economic freedom, personal liberty, fiscal responsibility, and constitutionally limited government. In his congressional office and as Governor, Ron has always surrounded himself with capable people who share his principles. Ron knows that putting America first means putting Americans first, not corporations, and he’s never backed down from a fight with the big guys in pharma, agriculture, and tech. If we make the right choices, America’s best days are in front of us. Let’s pick a proven energetic leader who can get us there. Let’s choose Ron DeSantis for President,” says Kentucky MAGA Congressman Thomas Massie in a statement released by the pro-DeSantis Never Back Down PAC, run by former Trump Regime Deputy DHS Secretary Ken Cuccinelli.

Actually should’ve mentioned that in the last article, that Cuccinelli was probably CNN’s source and has plenty of interest in helping to take down the Donald with his testimony. Anyway this makes Massie – who recently voted against a bill to sanction human organ traffickers – the second currently serving Republican in Congress to endorse Tiny D after Freedom Caucasian Chip Roy.

Sources tell CNN that Trump Regime Acting Homeland Security Secretary Chad Wolf and his deputy Ken Cuccinelli testified earlier this year to the grand jury investigating the post-2020 election coup attempt that they informed their Orange Fuhrer that his plan to seize voting machines was illegal, with Cuccinelli claiming specifically he “made clear at all times” it wasn’t happening.

The two are believed to be among the Trump Administration officials ordered to answer additional questions they previously refused on grounds of executive privilege, a challenge to which from Donald was tossed on Tuesday by the DC Circuit Court of Appeals. CNN’s report notes that Cuccinelli was spotted heading back into the room at the DC courthouse where the grand jury meets on Tuesday, though doesn’t say if his return was connected to the appeals’ rejection.

Usually after a bad day for MAGA world it’s easy enough to put together a rundown of their reactions like the one we did last week after fat former President Trump was indicted. But Tuesday was different as on multiple fronts they got punched in the dick in different ways – Trump’s arraignment, the Wisconsin state Supreme Court flipping, liberal Brandon Johnson winning the mayorship in Chicago, and the DC appeals court tossing Trump’s assertion of executive privilege over his White House minions’ testimony to the grand jury investigating his coup attempt. So it’s difficult to pick one random unhinged reader’s comment or one editorial take from the alternate universe for us to elevate and mock appropriately – even from within just this one site RedState.com there are the hilariously sad pieces “Biden’s Reaction to Trump Arraignment Just Might Make Your Blood Boil” and “Democrats Are Laughing at You.” The second one in particular displays a dim awareness that the Wisconsin loss is the kind of shit that happens when they’re distracted by Trump’s clusterfucks.

But this one, “The Walls Are (Once Again) ‘Closing in’ on Trump,” wins by a clear if not overwhelming margin. The TLDR of the open is “Hahaha libs! Even your legal experts think Bragg’s case against Trump is weak but the stupid media are going to say the walls are still closing in on him anyway!”

A Laredo, Texas man who on March 23rd was overheard bragging about stealing $50,000 from the notoriously violent Cartel del Noreste and then dragged into a truck less than two hours later – a truck that was then spotted on camera crossing the border into Mexico with a bloody-faced man trying to jump out the passenger side – is unsurprisingly still missing, Insider reports.

Witnesses who spoke to the FBI say they overheard Erik Tadeo Ramirez bragging on the phone to an unknown woman about stealing money from the Cartel del Noreste while he was at a house party in Laredo, Texas circa 11 PM on March 23rd. Then at about 12:45 AM on the 24th, a blue Dodge pickup truck pulled up and three men dragged Ramirez into the vehicle. Three days later Border Patrol officials reviewing crossing footage from that night spotted Ramirez unsuccessfully struggling to jump out of the truck just as it was crossing into Mexico. The driver was subsequently arrested when he crossed back into the US, but the other men remain at large. We’re going to go ahead and say this doesn’t sound like it was just an over-the-top bachelor party prank.

Freshman North Carolina state House member Tricia Cotham on Wednesday officially switched parties from Democrat to Republican, handing the state GOP a veto-proof supermajority to push through all sorts of right wing policies on abortion, guns, and voting, WRAL reports.

Cotham represents a deep-blue Charlotte-area district and as such would appear to be fucked when she faces voters again in the 2024 election – unless she moves or is gerrymandered into a safer red district (entirely possible). So it’s not hard to imagine that she was somehow bought off to help solidify Republican control for the rest of the term as they try to retake the governor’s mansion as incumbent Dem Governor Roy Cooper is term-limited and cannot run again in 2024.

Let’s be generous and assume that this actually happened and Comer really took those calls. Let’s be even more generous and assume that Comer then asked them what kind of cases they think they could make within their respective jurisdictions to which they responded affirmatively that they had something, anything, they could use to justify empaneling grand juries to investigate them. Why isn’t Comer going into detail about those supposed criminal liabilities? Why tease Fox News viewers like this? What the fuck does he have to gain here by dropping this empty hint to the fanboys?

Seriously, just imagine if in early 2019 Adam Schiff told MSNBC that DAs in Oregon and Vermont called him to ask the same question about opening cases into the Trumps. What kind of liberal would still have any trust in Schiff’s ability to effectively investigate the Trump Administration after that?

In a pre-sentencing memo filed Monday by Andrew Stewart, defense lawyer for Pennsylvania Capitol rioter Robert Sanford, a retired firefighter who pleaded guilty to various felonies after being caught on camera beating a Capitol cop over the head with a fire extinguisher during the MAGA insurrection, Stewart writes that Sanford hired a cult deprogramming expert to talk him out of believing fat former President Trump’s lies about the 2020 election being stolen.

“Mr Sanford is truly remorseful for the stress and anxiety that he has caused for his family and the events that he has missed. After his arrest, Mr Sanford sought mental health treatment and participated in individual and family therapy until his incarceration. This therapy helped Mr Sanford and his family deal with the anxiety of the pending case, but it did not give him real insight into his conduct on January 6. In August 2022, he began to work with an individual that specializes in cult deprograming. Even after he was incarcerated, he participated in regular discussions designed to challenge his ideology and belief structure, then help him understand how and why he developed the beliefs that led him to make the decisions that he did on January 6. During this process, Mr Sanford was confronted with facts about the ‘stolen election’ conspiracy theory among others and how psychological manipulation is used to indoctrinate the followers of a conspiracy. Mr Sanford learned how mental health problems, whether diagnosed or not, cause isolation which, when paired with belief in a conspiracy, gradually cause more isolation,” wrote Stewart in the memo.

For some reason the woman was then and still is married to disgraced former President Trump while he had sex with a pornstar for 45 seconds was absent while he was giving a speech hours after being arrested for paying that pornstar to keep quiet about it, the Washington Post reports.

Ivanka Trump was also out of town, reportedly in Wyoming for Passover. Now that’s a state with a rich Jewish tradition and heritage. There must be dozens, maybe even 150, other Jews living there.

Pro-Kremlin TV host Vladimir Solovyov – basically Russia’s Tucker Carlson or Sean Hannity – and his buddies on Tuesday mocked disgraced former President Trump’s arrest and lamented that he still hasn’t been able to trigger civil war in the United States, the Daily Beast reports.

“Should we afford the opportunity for Donald Trump to escape the unfair political persecution in Russia?” Solovyov asked before joking that “Donald Fredovych” should be given an apartment in Rostov-on-Don formerly occupied by fugitive ex-Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych. Political scientist Andrey Sidorov then said “First, one has to earn the spot in Rostov-on-Don… I am quite disappointed with Donald. He disappointed me back on January 6, 2021 [by not causing a civil war].”

One of a kind! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/ildzGDpkAa

— Eric Trump (@EricTrump) April 4, 2023

There is a certain poetry, or symmetry, about Donald Trump being indicted in a court of law for various crimes involving him trying to manipulate the legal through a contract.  Once again, the cover-up is the act that leads to the downfall of a political figure:  had Trump written checks to Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal directly, without running them through his company, his charity and/or his attorney’s shadow third-party company to protect his political ambitions, it wouldn’t have led to legal issues.

Trump isn’t a very smart person.  Yes, he’s conniving.  Yes, he’s ruthless.  But he’s not smart.  We know this because Trump demonstrates this virtually every day by making up more and more elaborate stories to cover up his failures.  In this case, had Trump updated his tax returns, refiled his company’s financial records, and paid past due taxes, nothing likely would have happened.  And Trump, being not very smart, decided to forgo correcting his records in the jurisdiction experienced at investigating financial crimes from corrupt landlords to corrupt financial institutions.

And again, Trump makes things worse for Trump.  One defense Trump could have relied on in the 34 Bragg indictments was that the payments–however convoluted–were meant to protect his dear wife Ivana Marla Ivanka Melania from the heartache of learning that her husband cheated on her.  Twice.

“Y’know, peace in the Middle East, all those other things.  Guess what they were doing at the same time?” the most unloved son–usurped as the most unloved child by Tiffany, who was skipped over in Donald’s listing of his offspring Tuesday–says at 2-times speed.  (Do not adjust your audio.)  “Let’s impeach the guy for doing absolutely nothing wrong.  Let’s impeach again.  Let’s go after his Supreme Court justices and, y’know, make up stories that they were drinking beer and doing all sorts of things when that clearly wasn’t happening.”

Hmmm… “make up stories that they were drinking beer … when that clearly wasn’t happening.”  Allow me to offer a counterargument from a key eye witness to rebut your claim:

Liberal Cook County, Illinois Commissioner Brandon Johnson has defeated Betsy DeVos-backed DINO Paul Vallas in the Chicago Mayoral election to succeed outgoing lame duck Lori Lightfoot following Lightfoot’s third place finish in the top-two first round, Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman projects. The win for Johnson maintains the leadership of Black mayors in the top four most-populated US cities – New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston. Let’s go Brandon!

Liberal Milwaukee Judge Janet Protasiewicz has defeated MAGA former Wisconsin state Supreme Court Justice Dan Kelly in the extremely crucial race for the seat being vacated by conservative someone who cares what their name is, Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman projects.

The court now flips from 4-3 conservative to a 4-3 liberal majority, a major victory for abortion rights and democracy in the state. Fanboys may commence their sky screaming immediately.

Four high school football coaches resigned from the Palmyra (Missouri) school district after a review of text messages on a school-issued phone show a four-year string of racist, homophobic and threatening messages between the quartet, according to a report in the Muddy River News, the news source for Quincy and Adams County, Hannibal and Marion County and the surrounding region.

These messages went beyond the typical locker room banter like, y’know, “grab ’em by the pussy” talk or, if you’re Jim Jordan, discussions of how the team doctor assaults the student-athletes on the team he coaches.  These coaches weren’t just homophobic and sexist, which you pretty much expect from football coaches in a Midwestern town that’s literally 95% white.

In the age of school shootings, some of the texts are just stupid. “Just come in guns a blazing … kill them all,” one replies to another who expressed frustration at teaching at the high school.  Another said if a rival got a position as an assistant wrestling coach, he’s “going to kill them all and myself in a murder suicide.” A third discussed having a bomb ready to detonate at the school.  “Gana (sic) build a bomb one day,” he said, eliciting a smiling face from another, prompting him to comment, “Not saying if it will be used for bad or good, but it will be built,” ’cause that’s so funny.