Shitty tabloid the New York Post on Thursday confirmed in a statement that the “hack” which saw a number of more openly than normal racist headlines published and tweets posted was the work of a rogue and presumably soon-to-be-ex-employee. “The New York Post’s investigation indicates that the unauthorized conduct was committed by an employee, and we are taking appropriate action. This morning, we immediately removed the [more openly] vile and reprehensible [than usual] content from our website and social media accounts,” said the Post in the statement.

DC Circuit Court Judge Amy Berman Jackson on Thursday sentenced Capitol rioter Albuquerque Head (yeah, that’s really his name) to 90 months in prison for his role in the violent attack on now-former DC Metro Police Officer Mike Fanone during the January 6th, 2021 MAGA insurrection.

“What Mr. Head did was restrain me, choke me and drag me out into the vicious crowd. There’s many people who see my public appearances and the prominence I’ve gained.. as somehow a celebrated level of success. It is not. I would trade all of this attention to return to policing. But I can’t do that” Fanone told the court at the hearing.”Your honor, I would ask you to show Mr. Head the same mercy he showed me on January 6,” Fanone then said to Berman Jackson.

For his part Head declined to speak at his sentencing hearing, instead choosing to leave it to his lawyers in their memo. “Mr. Head boasts considerable experience in the construction industry. He’s touched all of the facets of construction – drywall, roofing, and finishing,” and his former drug abuse problems were among the, uh, mitigating factors presented by his defense team.

Gosar invites Zelenskyy, Putin to Arizona https://t.co/nGhEtMuYif

“The US pays $3 billion a year to the UN” he noted. “Why has there been no serious effort at peace talks?  What happened to the UN primary mission — to avoid another Great War in Europe?”

— Paul Gosar (@DrPaulGosar) October 27, 2022

The tranquil of a family-friendly frontier-themed fall day in Branson, Missouri was shattered Wednesday as the steam train at the Silver Dollar City theme park derailed, spilling passengers and crew onto the tracks just after the ride had passed a moonshine-themed skit, CNN reports.

“We went around the next corner and the car in front of me acted like it hit a bump and started shaking real bad. It derailed and took the cars in front of it with it,” said passenger Gary Eldridge, whose family escaped the mayhem unharmed. In a statement the park said six guests and one crew member were taken to area hospitals with injuries. But probably the worst part was that the train didn’t make it to the part where actors playing armed bandits rob the train.

The New York Post on Thursday claimed their website had suffered a hack as parties unknown gained control of the site and published a piece purportedly written by squeaky-voiced weasel MAGA influencer Ben Shapiro and titled “We must assassinate AOC for America.”

The text of the fake op-ed does not actually call for the Congresswoman’s death as it was apparently copied verbatim from a March 25, 2022 piece by the Post’s editorial board. Which sucks because if these fucking hackers were smart enough to figure out how to breach into the Post’s content management system then one would think they could’ve done a better job making it more “plausible” and applied some subtlety to further discredit the shitty right wing tabloid.

COLD COMFORT: US GDP grows in the third quarter, but could be downhill from herehttps://t.co/exeTK13TSv

— FOX Business (@FoxBusiness) October 27, 2022

“It doesn’t matter. GDP growth now isn’t going to mean anything if it’s just going to go down again at some point. And even if it doesn’t then so what? We’re all going to die someday. It could be really soon. You could get pushed in front of an oncoming train by a homeless liberal or eat rainbow fentanyl that you think is Skittles or die from a measles vaccine so why get excited about one little economic measure? The economy isn’t important. People make too big of a deal out of it.”

“It’s stupid. There’s whole TV networks where all they do is talk about it with all these numbers on the screen. Leave me alone. Just fuck off. I don’t want to go outside. Shut up about fresh air and sunlight. You people don’t understand. Fuck you,” is basically what they’re saying here.

Ukrainian intelligence on Thursday released audio of an intercepted phone call between a Russian soldier and his wife back home, telling her they’ve been racking up the KIAs against those slowing down Putin’s efforts to contain a furious counteroffensive from Kyiv, the Daily Beast reports.

The kicker is that, according to this solider they’re shooting their own conscripts attempting to flee the action. “They brought the inmates here… from prison. But they led them somewhere way up front. And we’re sitting here as a retreat-blocking detachment, fuck. If someone runs back, we snuff them out… That’s how we have it set up. We sit on the second line, guarding the first. Behind us, there’s another line. If you go that way, you also won’t make it. So it’s impossible to run away. They shoot their own,” the Russian soldier told his wife, adding he found a bloody but warm jacket.

“If someone goes that way, you need to wipe him out,” he said. No reason to disbelieve him. Although the 2001 World War II epic Enemy at The Gates reportedly overdramatized the Soviet use of blocking detachments to prevent retreats, there is certainly a tradition in Russian military history.

Ohio walleye fishing tournament cheaters Jacob Runyan and Chase Cominsky, whose fish fuckery was exposed on stage last month when Jason Fischer, the organizer of the Lake Erie Walleye Trail Championship event, thought something was fishy and found the fraudsters had stuffed lead balls and raw walleye fillets into their catches to increase their weight, pleaded not guilty in a Cleveland court Wednesday to felony charges of cheating, attempted grand theft, possessing criminal tools and misdemeanor charges of unlawfully owning wild animals, the AP reports.

Jeez. All we did was ask Clark on Wednesday “Isn’t your law license about to get taken away?” in reference to the former Trump Justice Department coup plotter’s ongoing professional misconduct problems with the DC Bar Association for his failed attempt to help Donald overthrow American democracy. It’s not trolling or harassment when it’s actually true, right?

Arizona Dem Secretary of State and gov candidate Katie Hobbs’s office in Phoenix was broken into earlier this week by parties unknown, the New York Times reports. “Secretary Hobbs and her staff have faced hundreds of death threats and threats of violence over the course of this campaign,” said Hobbs campaign manager Nicole DeMont in a statement. “Throughout this race, we have been clear that the safety of our staff and of the secretary is our number one priority.”

“A national poll released today by the Institute of Politics at Harvard Kennedy School indicates that 40% of 18-to-29-year-olds state that they will ‘definitely’ vote in the November 8 midterm elections, on track to match or potentially exceed the record-breaking 2018 youth turnout in a midterm election. Young voters prefer Democratic control of Congress 57% to 31% (up five points for Democrats since spring), but 12% remain undecided” says a Harvard Kennedy School survey.

His luggage isn’t even unpacked yet–and given that his predecessor lasted just four Scaramuccis, maybe he shouldn’t–new British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak dismissed a call for a general election from opposition leaders incongruously because his Party’s popularity is historically low.

As Politico outlines, in Britain’s parliamentary system, the ruling Party can voluntarily call for a general election, which puts every seat in the House of Commons into play.  The winner of the majority of seats names the Prime Minister, and until the next general election is called, seats in Parliament stay in the Party’s hands, so while the Prime Minister can be changed, the unpopular Party continues to rule.

So incongruously, the Tories are safe because they’re unpopular, and because they’re unpopular, the public has no say in kicking the bastards out of office.  A 2011 law would have mandated general elections every five years was repealed earlier this year… by the Tories, or Conservative Party, who hold the majority of seats in the House of Commons.

Just as Sean Hannity travels the country with South Carolina Republican Tim Scott to boost the standard white male GOP candidates who are fighting close campaigns, the other South Carolina Republican Senator, secret Elton John cosplayer Lindsey Graham, decided to go on air with Herschel Walker to assert that Walker’s candidacy proves the GOP isn’t racist because… he’s Black… and then goes on only to cite Walker’s athletic prowess as his qualification for office.

What is it about this guy.  [Aggressively pointing.]  He changes the entire narrative of the Left.  We’re a party of racist, Sean.  You and me are racists.  The Republican Party’s racist.  Well, what happens when the Republican Party elects and nominates Herschel Walker, and African-American, Black Heismann Trophy winner, right, Olympian.  It destroys the whole narrative.  John James.  Tim Scott.  Herschel Walker.  Everybody in Sssan Franshisco [sic] are gonna jump off a bridge.

Perhaps Lindsey’s drunk, but being able to name all your Black friends in two seconds seems really, really… well… on-brand for a racist Party who talks about a person’s athletic prowess like a slave trader talking about the strength and muscles of a captive standing on the auction block.

Less than a week after Donald Trump threatened to jail reporters and publishers for reporting the news like the draft Supreme Court decision revoking body autonomy, Attorney General Merrick Garland signed a department policy officially revoking a Trump DOJ dictate to use subpoenas, court orders, warrants and other legal weapons to seize reporters’ phone records, notes and emails to track possible sources of stories, the New York Times reports.

“These regulations recognize the crucial role that a free and independent press plays in our democracy,” Garland said in a statement. “Because freedom of the press requires that members of the news media have the freedom to investigate and report the news, the new regulations are intended to provide enhanced protection to members of the news media from certain law enforcement tools and actions that might unreasonably impair news gathering.”

At a cult rally Saturday, Trump said that reporters and publishers who used confidential sources to do things like report on the draft Supreme Court decision to revoke the Roe precedent should be jailed until they’re prison raped enough to turn over the information.  ““And they say ‘We’re not gonna tell you.’ They say ‘That’s OK, you’re going to jail.’ And when this person realizes he’s going to be the bride of another prisoner very shortly, he will say ‘I’d very much like to tell you exactly who that leaker is!’”

“We’re working with USPS to see if they have images of what might have been on that truck,” Sterling said.

A #USPS truck—potentially carrying absentee ballots—went up in flames in #Georgia, destroying the vehicle and “a lot” of mail, authorities said. https://t.co/0uzoa9cF7E

— The Epoch Times (@EpochTimes) October 27, 2022

This also appears to be a stock photo of a Jeep Wrangler and not a mail truck going up in flames, deepening the mystery of what this anti-communist Chinese cult rag is up to here.

Disgraced former President Trump waged a desperate, last-minute court battle earlier this month to prevent former Pence Chief of Staff Marc Short from testifying to the grand jury investigating the attempted coup following his humiliating loss to Joe Biden in the 2020 election, but failed as the DC Appeals court rejected his bitching and cleared Short for questioning, Politico reports.

The main focus of Politico’s article is a sealed ruling from DC Circuit Court Judge Beryl Howell that appears to be what precipitated the embarrassing defeat at the appeals level. Politico and the New York Times have filed a motion for Howell to unseal the ruling. A hearing is scheduled for November 15th. Just spitballing here, but it could be that Howell ruled there’s a crime-fraud exception to Donald’s assertions of executive privilege over aides’ testimony. Lawyers please comment below.

A federal judge sentenced a convicted member of the Republican-led mob of domestic terrorists that attacked Congress on January 6th to 240 days home detention, citing the defendant’s autism as a mitigating factor pushing for a lighter sentence, Politico reports.

U.S. District Court Judge Trevor McFadden told Nicholas Rodean, of Frederick, Maryland, “I’m giving you a real break here,” and saying Rodean’s diagnosed medical condition mitgated “the blameworthiness of your conduct.”  The day before, McFadden had sentenced Hunter Seefried to two years in prison for similar crimes.

Rodean spent most of the Capitol attack alongside one of the more memorable miscreants of the day, the QAnon Shamin Jacob Chansley, as they got into a physical confrontation with police officers as the terrorists tried to enter the Senate chamber.

House Freedom Caucasians Congressman Scott Perry on Wednesday dropped his lawsuit against the Justice Department to retrieve his phone after it was seized by FBI agents investigating Perry’s role in the failed attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election.

TMZ admits they were trolled in an update to their previous story reporting that the 87 year old statutory rapist and incest enthusiast Jerry Lee Lewis had died. Good on them for correcting it as quickly as possible, unlike Mediaite when they mistakenly reported that Florida MAGA terrorist Nikolas Cruz had been sentenced to death and didn’t fix it for like an hour or two.

Also on Wednesday TMZ reported that Kanye West was kicked out of Skechers brand footwear’s offices when he showed up without an appointment to find a new home for his Yeezy sneaker line following West’s firing from Adidas. Just cramming that in here to not have to source TMZ again.

Thanks for the kind message! I loved this photo of you, but if you want some tips on squatting to build up those legs, I’m here for you. https://t.co/ssMZSzy4NO pic.twitter.com/xSmBPi7B47

— Arnold (@Schwarzenegger) October 26, 2022