Crooked Hobbs and the Soros media need to stop intimidating the ballot drop box watchers. They have a right to watch! #AZSOS

— Mark Finchem for AZ Senate (@RealMarkFinchem) October 21, 2022

Do y’all know Cameo?  It’s a website where celebrities and wannabe celebrities whore themselves out for money:  you pay them and they make a video message to you or your “lucky” friend who’s probably wondering why you paid $200 to have Kimberly Guilfoyle record a 30-second interaction with you, which is probably exactly what her relationship/business arrangement with Junior entails.

Well, Junior’s dad isn’t on Cameo (yet), but he’s practicing!  Here, he makes a very Cameo-like video for someone who is apparently at his Bedminster, New Jersey golf club.  Of course, Trump screws it up:  He’s shilling a restaurant he calls “Off the Fish”–an obvious corruption of numerous seafood restaurants called “Off the Hook.”  (A Google search doesn’t find a single reference to a restaurant called “Off the Fish.”) If you’re the people at “Off the Hook,” you’re probably just as disappointed with the misnaming as Ewic feels all the time.  (Oh, and Corey Lewandowski’s available for just $60.)

For a bunch of people who cried about the dangers of children being indoctrinated into liberal concepts like compassion and kindness, conservatives are exceptionally tolerant of their own group of child groomers who release children’s books to indoctrinate children in their faulty political philosophy.

Texas GOP Congressman Dan Crenshaw, Trump lackey Kash Patel, the sleepy Ben Carson, and child gender fetishist Matt Walsh are all trying to cash in on the fear they stoke in parents about how their children might become compassionate, intelligent people.  Add admitted felon Michael Flynn.  (Yes, he received a Trump pardon, but only AFTER admitting that he committed a felony.)

During the holidays, the poor children who receive these books from their Schlitz-drinking uncle who insists Richard Nixon was railroaded will likely react to this the same way they do when they open a “Santa” gift of underwear:  “Oh.  Great.  Thanks, Uncle Kyle.  [Toss to the side.]”

“When a once in a century pandemic hit, I led based on facts–” Republican incumbent Florida Governor and guy who shops in the “husky” department Ron DeSantis claimed falsely at Monday’s debate against Charlie Crist.

“LIAR,” a member of the audience yells.

“–not based on fear.  Uh… I lifted ya up, where some like Charlie Crist wanted to lock you down.”

For the record, Ron DeSantis recruited a Nigerian-born California doctor to be Florida’s Surgeon General because his own hand-picked health officials told him he was wrong and the man promoted fake coronavirus cures and treatments, even claiming at one point that vaccines don’t work.  The doctor, Joseph Ladapo, promoted so-called “herd immunity,” which would have killed approximately 2% of the American population.  He also supports a scientifically-false belief that transgenderism doesn’t exist.  So much for “facts.”

Republicans love the flag and the National Anthem, but they don’t know the history of either.  Enter Herschel Walker.  After Donald Trump rewrote the 1814 Battle of Baltimore by pushing it 100 years into the future so the nascent US military could take over airports.  Now Walker is claiming that Francis Scott Key wasn’t just a lawyer trying to secure the release of a friend, but was instead someone who had the power to command Fort McHenry.

For the record:  No bodies were found at the base of the flagpole at the end of the battle.  Only four people were killed at Fort McHenry; none were used to prop up the flag.  And the flag that Key saw the next morning wasn’t the same flag that had flown throughout the night:  the commander of the fort’s garrison had the flag replaced at 9 a.m. because the original flag, a smaller storm flag, was soaked and clinging to the flag pole.  Key saw the larger garrison flag flying, which prompted him to write the poem “The Star Spangled Banner,” which was set to the music of British drinking song and did not become the National Anthem until nearly 120 years later, largely thanks to a campaign undertaken by Robert Ripley of Ripley’s Believe It or Not fame.

Federal prosecutors have been turning up the heat on Trump minions in order to secure their testimony against the fat bastard in his theft of classified documents when he left the White House following his humiliating loss to Joe Biden in the 2020 election, the New York Times reports.

Justice Department investigators have zeroed in on the Diet Coke guy, former White House valet Walt Nauta, who reportedly recently told prosecutors that Trump directed him to move boxes to a storage closet after a subpoena had been issued for their contents, and have raised charges to Nauta to get him to flip. Another potential target for prosecution is shitty children’s book author Kash Patel, who has been heavily involved in the document heist and repeatedly pleaded the Fifth repeatedly during questioning by a grand jury last week, despite claiming publicly in August that Donald had secretly declassified all the documents before leaving office. Prosecutors have recently asked a DC federal judge to compel the fucking weasel to answer their questions.

Evil white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene lost somewhere between $12,330 and $41,100 on her October 2021 investment in shares of Digital World Acquisition Corp, the scam stock that was supposed to merge with the Trump Media and Technology Group before poor management and federal investigations all but certainly doomed the deal, Insider reports after reviewing required financial disclosures from the Jew space lasers conspiracy theorist.

Insider couldn’t nail down exactly how much Taylor Greene lost because the rules require members of Congress to disclose holdings only in broad ranges. Since the QAdulteress’s purchase was in the $15,000 to $50,000 bracket, Insider arrived at $12,330 to $41,100 for her loss based on the decline in value for the stock. It was still a better buy than Let’s Go Brandon coin, for which a $50,000 investment when it debuted in November 2021 would now be worth $120.

After mentally-ill performer Kanye West’s recent anti-Semitic outburst, documentary film production company MRC decided it will not distribute or air its recently completed film about him, fearful of amplifying the hateful message West proffers, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Additionally, West’s agent, CAA, announced Monday it had dropped West–who now childishly wants to go by the name “Ye” because “conservatives” like him think it’s perfectly okay to change how one is labeled at a whim–from its catalog of clients, the Los Angeles Times reports.

West has been craving attention since his political benefactor, Donald Trump has left office.  Trump touted West, who mounted a presidential campaign briefly in 2020 as a political stunt likely engineered by the GOP to pull Black votes away from Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden as part of a fabricated campaign to portray Biden as a racist.  Like many Black candidates running as Republicans, the GOP tends to produce minority candidates that it feels it can control or that it can use to try to sap Black votes from Democrats, as they believe Blacks are a singular bloc of the electorate that votes solely based on the color of skin, much the way Republicans will vote for any candidate, no matter how unqualified or mentally unstable, just because they have an (R) behind their name.

On Monday shitweasel Republican Florida Senator Marco Rubio tweeted angrily “Last night one of our canvassers wearing my T-shirt and a Desantis hat was brutally attacked by 4 animals who told him Republicans weren’t allowed in their neighborhood in Hialeah, Florida… He suffered internal bleeding, a broken jaw and will need facial reconstructive surgery,” without naming the victim.

However naturally Rubio left out that the asshole might’ve kind of had it coming, as the Miami Against Fascism put together a series of tweets showing the victim is “Christopher Monzon aka the ‘Cuban Confederate’ who has a well documented history of advocating white supremacy – AND deep involvement in Miami GOP politics,” going on to identify Monzon as being present at the 2017 Charlottesville “United The Right” rally, was affiliated with the hate group “League of The South,” and found pics of him with Roger Stone and the Proud Boys, among other connections. Just one more drop in the bucket of piss that is the Miami-area MAGA Latino community.

Formerly sort of but not really relevant assclown MAGA trolls Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman on Monday pleaded guilty in an Ohio court to a fifth-degree felony charge of telecommunications fraud over their October 2020 robocalls to Dem-leaning and minority voters in the Cleveland area with fake warnings about vote by mail as part of their desperate and ultimately unnecessary (in Ohio at least) underhanded efforts to save Trump’s reelection, Cleveland.com reports.

The pair face up to a year in prison when sentenced and still face trial in Michigan on charges in the same scheme, though their robocalls were not limited to just those two states. More than 85,000 of the bizarre and intimidating calls went out targeting minority voters in heavily democratic areas in Chicago, Philadelphia, and New York City as well, according to prosecutors.

“If you vote by mail, your personal information will be part of a public database that will be used by police departments to track down old warrants and be used for credit card companies to collect outstanding debts. The CDC (Centers for Disease Control) is even pushing to… track people for mandatory vaccines,” the robocall’s recording warned, echoing disgraced former President Trump’s meltdown about mail-in voting as he slid towards humiliating defeat in 2020.

After his first trial was declared a hung jury because one holdout juror didn’t like the government, Timothy Shea’s second trial on fraud charges on the We Build the Wall scam will stay in New York City, the judge in the case began his retrial Monday, the Associated Press reports.

The owner of an energy drink company called Winning Energy, whose cans have featured a cartoon superhero image of Trump and claim to contain “12 oz. of liberal tears,” Shea’s first trial ended in June after eleven members of the jury voted to find Shea guilty, but according to a note the jury foreman sent the judge, one juror held out because of inherent anti-government bias.  After hearing a motion from Shea that he could never get a fair trial in New York because there are liberals there and that the political bias of the area wouldn’t allow them to seat an unbiased jury, US District Judge Analisa Torres rejected the request to move the trial to Shea’s home state of Colorado and kept the trial in Manhattan.

Torres on Monday also ruled that Shea could not subpoena Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg.  Shea and his attorneys requested the subpoena to force the DA’s office to turn over any exculpatory evidence, but Torres determined that the request for the information was too vague and did not offer any evidence that Bragg or the office had any such information.

Ready for a spooky treat this season? The #JackOLanternPizza is BACK 🎃 pic.twitter.com/AYoGTMgojD

— Papa Johns (@PapaJohns) October 24, 2022

Want a real “spooktacular” time? Eat a Papa John’s Jack-O-Lantern pizza, go to bed, and then spend the next six hours dreaming of your loved ones turned into pallid ghouls with their eyes gouged out stabbing you in the torso and face with rusty farm tools while happier strangers watch from a safe distance and laugh hysterically. Or something like that. The painful cramps and/or agonizing acid reflux waking you up will actually be kind of a mercy from the disturbing dreams.

Disgraced former President Trump’s lawyers on Monday dropped all remaining attorney-client privilege claims on documents taken by the FBI in the August raid on Mar-a-Lago, further confirming that this was all just a fucking waste of time, Bloomberg reports. Still remaining to be reviewed are documents on which he claims executive privilege, which is meaningless in the larger context of the criminal investigation since he cannot claim executive privilege on the classified documents he stole when leaving office and then hid from both the Justice Department and the National Archives when they subpoenaed them. The Special Master review could be ended pretty much any day now as the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals seems likely to rule in favor of the Justice Department’s position that asshole Judge Aileen Cannon improperly ordered it in early September.

Justice Department press release: “A criminal complaint was unsealed today in federal court in Brooklyn charging two People’s Republic of China (PRC) intelligence officers with attempting to obstruct a criminal prosecution in the Eastern District of New York. The defendants remain at large. According to court documents, Guochun He, also known as ‘Dong He’ and ‘Jacky He,’ and Zheng Wang, also known as ‘Zen Wang,’ allegedly orchestrated a scheme to steal files and other information from the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of New York related to the ongoing federal criminal investigation and prosecution of a global telecommunications company (Company-1) based in the PRC, including by paying approximately $61,000 in Bitcoin bribes to a U.S. government employee who the defendants believed had been recruited to work for the PRC, but who in fact was a double agent working on behalf of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI).”

“Guochun He and Zheng Wang are charged with attempting to obstruct a criminal prosecution of Company-1 [which is likely Huawei, per the Washington Post] in federal district court in the Eastern District of New York. Defendant He also is charged with two counts of money laundering based upon bribe payments totaling approximately $61,000 in Bitcoin, made in furtherance of the scheme. According to the complaint, the defendants are PRC intelligence officers conducting foreign intelligence operations targeting the United States, on behalf of the PRC government and for the benefit of Company-1. Starting in 2019, they directed an employee at a U.S. government law enforcement agency (GE-1), whom they believed they had recruited as an asset, to steal confidential information about the criminal prosecution of Company-1 in order to interfere with that prosecution. In actuality, GE-1 was working as a double agent on behalf of the FBI”

Three people, including the gunman, are dead and seven wounded in a school shooting at the Central Visual & Performing Arts High School in south St. Louis Monday morning, the St. Louis Post Dispatch reports.

A teen girl, likely a student, was pronounced dead at the scene.  A woman died later at the hospital.  The gunman, who was shot at the scene, was not identified, but was estimated to be in his 20s.  He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

At least 35 people have been killed, including 27 students, in 40 school shootings in 2022 according to data compiled by Education Week.  The previous school shooting was Friday in Sacramento, California at a high school football game.  A week earlier, two people were killed at Westover Hills Elementary School in Richmond, Virginia.

A new set of CNN/SSRS surveys finds Democrats holding their own in five big Senate and gubernatorial races in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Michigan. Wisconsin Senator Ron “RonAnon” Johnson is the only MAGA candidate in the black and just barely so, leading Dem Lt Gov Mandela Barnes, 50% to 49%, while Dem Gov Tony Evers leads total Karen Tim Michels 50% to 48%.

In Michigan, Dem Gov Gretchen Whitmer leads unhinged MAGA-QAnon challenger Tudor Dixon 52% to 46%, while in Pennsylvania Dem Attorney General Josh Shapiro leads even more unhinged MAGA-QAnon state Senator Doug Mastriano 56% to 41%. Pennsylvania Dem Lt Gov John Fetterman leads dipshit Mehmet Oz 51% to 45%. May Fetterman crush Oz’s tiny skull with his gigantic hands.

The Biden Administration and the Justice Department will this week both publicize apparently major threats to election integrity, Politico reports. The Biden Administration’s bulletin will detail cybersecurity threats posed by China, Russia, and other foreign non-state actors, as well as potential physical threats to election officials across the country, sources told Politico.

Separately, Attorney General Merrick Garland will hold a press conference at 1:30 PM EDT on Monday also to speak about a threat or threats to the election, but it is unclear if it is the same threat the White House will be detailing in their upcoming bulletin. Should be fun.

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas on Monday temporarily blocked the subpoena to Senator Lindsey Graham to testify to the Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney’s grand jury investigating the failed Trump 2020 coup attempt pending a decision from the court, CNBC reports.