Okay, so first, it never happened.  Then he didn’t know her.  Then he didn’t know about the abortion.  And then it was an FBI plant.  (Oh, wait, that’s the other guy’s excuse.) But now, Herschel Walker of Texas, the GOP’s nominee for the Georgia Senate Seat, claims that he does know the woman and she’s lying.

As ABC News reports, Walker told ABC reporter Linsey Davis that he did not learn the identity of the woman making the claim until last week, even though she is the mother of one of Walker’s children and she was in regular contact with Walker’s current wife.

“I know nothing about an abortion,” Walker said. “I knew it was a lie and I said it was a lie — and I just move on … it’s sad that people say October surprise, but you’re destroying families.  This race is too important for me to give up or for me to stop.  So, October surprise is not going to faze me.”  Walker denied ever talking to the woman about an abortion, and he denied ever paying for one.

Looks like the calvary showing up to help save Walker is going great.

NASA officials announced Tuesday that last month’s Double Asteroid Redirection Test (DART) mission was a success, and the asteroid Dimorphos had been observably diverted from its non-collision course with Earth to a different non-collision course with Earth.

Which means that, given enough lead time to deploy another one, the rest of the world can count on America to stop an incoming asteroid that would wipe out civilization – provided a future second Trump Administration and/or a Republican Congress don’t defund NASA for being too “woke” in its recruitment ads or canceling the launch because Germany and France didn’t pay their fair share.

The Wisconsin Elections Commission deadlocked 3-3 along party lines Tuesday on a Republican-backed plan to allow increased access for poll observers, leaving the previous guidance in place, Spectrum News reports. The batshit proposal, which Chair Don Millis called “very modest,” would have allowed MAGA “observers” to stand within three feet of voters filling out ballots. We guess that is modest since compared to an Oath Keeper with a loaded assault rifle standing there.

“I think this is a good thing, and I think it’s necessary,” said fake Trump 2020 elector and Republican commissioner Bob Spindell. “I think we have complaints from some of the poll observers, and, again, I think Milwaukee does a good job,” he added and damn he needs to be indicted.

Increasingly unhinged billionaire asshole Elon Musk spoke directly with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin just before Musk tweeted a proposal for “Ukraine-Russia peace” on favorable terms for the Kremlin, Vice reports on a memo circulated by globalist consultant egghead Ian Bremmer.

On October 3rd Musk tweeted the conditions of his peace plan as a Twitter poll, writing “Redo elections of annexed regions under UN supervision. Russia leaves if that is will of the people,” “Crimea formally part of Russia, as it has been since 1783 (until Khrushchev’s mistake),” and “Water supply to Crimea assured,” adding that “This is highly likely to be the outcome in the end – just a question of how many die before then” and “Also worth noting that a possible, albeit unlikely, outcome from this conflict is nuclear war,” for which he was promptly and correctly ripped as a Kremlin apologist. Now if Bremmer is to be believed Musk was doing this to help Putin out.

Take the word of Pavel Gubarev, a Ukrainian Quisling serving as the Russian-appointed “people’s governor” of the Donetsk region, who says they will kill Ukrainians if they do not submit to Russian rule–and foreshadowing the next step of the far right’s campaign in the US, who adopt the tactics of their Russian idol, Vladimir Putin.

“We are coming to convince [Ukrainians], not to kill them.  But if you don’t want us to change your minds, then we will kill you.  We will kill as many of you as we have to.  We will kill one million or five million.  We can exterminate all of you until you understand that you are possessed and you have to be cured.”  Gubarev goes on to call Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy “Hitler 2.0” and a “bloody possessed Stalinist.”

WHOA! Breaking news here: Former Congresswoman Tutti Gabba has left the Democratic Party because she thinks Russia is an unfair victim of Western aggression or something. That Tully Gabbagool is kind of a suspicious character though. Something wasn’t always right with her.

Like she voted “present” when former President Chomp was impeached for the first time, leaving her loyalties suspect even back then. And then her shitty presidential campaign and third party run that didn’t happen because that would take actual work. Plus her speech at the ZPAC right wing convention earlier this year. We guess announcing she was leaving the party was the only way to act like she was relevant again. The mainstream media sure took it hook, line, and sinker on Tuesday. But don’t count on seeing Tussy Garvard’s name in the news again anytime soon.

One thing every American can agree on:

The “roughing the passer” rule in the NFL has to change.

— Rep. Jim Jordan (@Jim_Jordan) October 11, 2022

Last summer a number of Secret Service agents were just curious about exactly which text messages they sent and received on their personal cell phones on and around January 6th, 2021 were in the hands of federal investigators and put in a Freedom of Information Act request to the agency to find out, a request which NBC News has learned was denied.

“This letter is the final response to your Privacy Act inquiry submitted on Aug. 4, 2022, for information pertaining to the release of personal cell phone information and/or other personal identifiable information (PII) by the U.S. Secret Service,” said the letter from last Wednesday. “The agency has determined that regulation does not require a records disclosure accounting to be made in connection with your request.” Well that sure sucks for them but it shouldn’t be anything to worry about for most of them. Even if an agent’s husband asking her to pick up some more Astroglide on the way home from work is embarrassing it’s not like that’ll ever actually go public.

As long as there was no contact with anyone like, say the Oath Keepers, for example, then there’s no reason for concern. These agents can just go back to Secret Servicing like they do.

Florida state House Rep Anthony Sabatini, a crazy MAGA assclown we’ve covered here probably way more times than we should for any one individual state lawmaker considering there are at least four or five US Senators who have never once been mentioned in a National Zero article, was a little upset on Monday after his Lord and Savior endorsed Cory Mills, the GOP candidate for Florida’s 7th US House District, who defeated Sabatini pretty handily in the August 23rd primary, dealing a serious and perhaps fatal blow to the erstwhile QAnon firebrand Congressman’s career ambitions.

The Neocon, pro-Ukraine War, obedient-to-Kevin-McCarthy, State Dept friendly wing of the GOP is growing this cycle pic.twitter.com/wL1DApcF5X

— Anthony Sabatini (@AnthonySabatini) October 10, 2022

This high sodium tweet is of course situationally different than the other hilariously sad responses from Republicans devastated by the Donald endorsing their primary rivals we’ve covered over this primary season (See Arizona Senate loser Jim Lamon, Wisconsin gov loser Tim Ramthun, Missouri Senate loser Billy Long, etc). For one, Sabatini already lost and Trump’s “endorsement” of Mills here in the general against the Dem is nothing more than an ineffective, no-budget campaign ad.

A review of filings by the Washington Post reveals that, since he left office, disgraced former President Trump’s “Save America” PAC has spent $7 million on the Donald’s lawyers and $2 million in payoffs to nonprofit slush funds founded by scumbags like Mark Meadows but only $8.4 million on campaign advertising for Republican candidates running in the midterms.

Feckless coward House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy’s phone call with disgraced former President Trump while the Capitol was under siege by MAGA insurrectionists is again in the news as Politico Playbook has a preview of a new book called “Weapons of Mass Delusion: When the Republican Party Lost Its Mind” by Robert Draper. Previously reported was Trump’s now-infamous line: “Well, Kevin, I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are,” when turning down McCarthy’s pleas for National Guard to remove the rioters from the Capitol.

“More upset? THEY’RE TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME!” was McCarthy’s response, per Draper’s book in a chapter titled “The Enabler.” Yes, the chapter is all about Kevin McCarthy, which also details the future weakling figurehead’s 1980s-era obsession with Trump the tabloid businessman. “One person that he always talked about back then was Donald Trump. He talked about him all the time. I don’t recall if he met him, but he talked about him a lot in our early twenties,” a friend of McCarthy’s from Bakersfield, California told Draper back in 2011, per Playbook.

A Wisconsin appeals court on Monday vacated a lower court’s ruling in favor of some MAGA activist jerkoffs’ attempt to block voters from having the chance to cancel an absentee ballot and resubmit a new one if they change their mind or need to correct a mistake, the AP reports.

Former Newsmax host Greg Stinchfield says on his new podcast–because the only place former propagandists list Stinchfield, Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly can go is to a podcast–that he was fired by the third-tier cable news network because he wouldn’t attack Fox host Tucker Carlson, according to The Daily Beast.

Despite Newsmax seeing a jump in the ratings after the 2020 election as Trump’s cult fled Fox after Fox called Arizona for Democrat Joe Biden, Stinchfield says he refused to attack Carlson because he considered Carlson to be the second most important person in the Republican Party.

“And I had a real hard time with this because to me, Tucker Carlson, I would say, is number two to President Trump as the leader of the Republican Party,” Stinchfield said in a fairly plain attempt to get a guest spot on Carlson’s top-rated far-right anti-government show so he could pitch his new podcast.

The Biden Administration will further restrict the shipment of computer chips to China, cutting off a supply of high-performance chips the Chinese military relies on to operate military equipment and applications, Roll Call reports.  The directive will also cut off 31 Chinese companies from getting technology from US businesses.

“The export controls announced in the two rules today restrict the PRC’s ability to obtain advanced computing chips, develop and maintain supercomputers, and manufacture advanced semiconductors,” the Bureau of Industry and Security, an agency of the Department of Commerce that regulates restricted items, said in a statement. “These items and capabilities are used by the PRC to produce advanced military systems including weapons of mass destruction; improve the speed and accuracy of its military decision making, planning, and logistics, as well as of its autonomous military systems; and commit human rights abuses.”

A World War II landing craft known as a Higgins boat has been exposed by the receding waters of northern California’s Shasta Lake, which has been hit by climate change and drought, dropping water levels to previously-unseen levels, The Guardian writes.

Designed by a New Orleans boat manufacturer, Higgins boats were shallow-draft barge-like boats made of wood, typically with a landing ramp in the front.  Numbers on the boat’s ramp show that it was part of Attack Transport USS Monrovia, which served as George Patton’s command ship during the occupation of Sicily in 1943.  Monrovia was soon after reassigned to the Pacific, where it participated in six D-Day invasions during the US military’s island-hopping campaign.

However, there are no records about how the landing craft made it from Monrovia to a lake 150 miles inland from the Pacific Ocean.  The boat does not have registration tags from the state, nor do any locals have a memory of seeing a similar vessel on the lake.

The chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, New Jersey Democrat Robert Menendez called on the Biden Administration to halt all arms sales and intel sharing with Saudi Arabia in response to the kingdom’s cutting oil production to help Russia, the Associated Press reports.

Last week, Saudi Arabia and Russia persuaded OPEC to cut world oil supplies by two million barrels per day in order to raise the price of oil, which would help cash-strapped Russia.  One of the few valuable exports Russia can make to some nations is its oil, so higher prices help raise cash.  More cash allows Russia to carry on its invasion of Ukraine.

Menendez, however, wants to make the security of the Saudi royal family a bargaining chip and he said he “will not green-light any cooperation with Riyadh until the Kingdom reassesses its position with respect to the war in Ukraine. Enough is enough.”

As the sole finalist to become the president of the University of Florida, Republican Senator from Nebraska Ben Sasse seems pretty fluid on his views of LGBTQ rights now that he’s got one foot out the door of the Senate chamber, the Washington Post reports.

At a closed student forum on campus, Sasse was asked if he would support the LGBTQ community at the university given his previous ardent rejection of gay rights laid out in the Obergefell decision.  He responded, “Your question is: Do I support and affirm everybody in this community?  Absolutely.”

Sasse has said he would resign his Senate seat the moment he would be named president by the board of trustees, hinting that he’s tiring of the rank partisanship of Washington.  “One of the things that’s appealing about this, frankly, is the opportunity to step back from politics,” he said.

“The leftists really want to destroy the world in nuclear fire because you have a fetish for hating Russians and Putin because they’ve become a little bit more Christian,” notes Alex Jones, a man touting himself as a “Christian” who sent a photo of his naked wife to Roger Stone and owes the families of murder victims tens of millions of dollars.  “Again, they don’t hate Russia because they’re the former Soviet Union.  The left hates Russia because they’re becoming more like the American Midwest.  They’re becoming more conservative.  They’re against transgenderism and teaching five-year-olds about sex and all the rest of this, so that’s why Hollywood and the Rob Reiners of the world literally have a fetish for destroying Russia.”

On this Indigenous Peoples Day–yeah, yeah, yeah, we know:  Columbus, blah blah blah–a new project allows you to see what indigenous tribe’s land you’re squatting on, covering areas on every inhabited continent, NPR reports.

Native Land Digital, an Indigenous-led nonprofit based in Canada, created the map using historic territories of native peoples, incorporating areas that may have overlapped through history or due to nomadic tribal traditions.  Users can enter a modern address, city or ZIP code to zoom into that area to research land claims.  Filters allow you to superimpose “settler lines” that show contemporary names.

“In reality, we know that the land is not something to be exploited and ‘owned,’ but something to be honoured and treasured,” the organization says. “However, because of the complexities of history, the kind of mapping we undertake is an important exercise, insofar as it brings an awareness of the real lived history of Indigenous peoples and nations in a long era of colonialism.”