Do you hate crime? Not fake crimes like paying personal expenses with campaign money or just storing government documents in a closet, but crime crimes. The ones that can happen to anyone, especially white people in the suburbs while they’re watching the evening news.

See that? That’s REAL crime right there. That’s EXACTLY what you should be thinking about when you cast your ballot in November. Democrats are soft on that kind of crime. They’ll say libtard things like “Well that was a Trump 2020 campaign ad showing that 911 systems would put people on hold if Biden won… He did win and in the nearly two years since we’ve had no substantial reports of 911 operators being overwhelmed due to a surge in crime. Except for one or two in Florida because of too many unvaccinated people dying of COVID, but that’s beside the point” and “Also that crowbar guy broke in less than 30 seconds, so it’s not like 911 answering would’ve made a difference there.”

None of that fancy ivory tower bullcrap matters. Americans feel like crime is out of control and they need to elect Republicans to make themselves feel like it’s not out of control. Talk matters. Saying “Democrats are pro-crime and anti-police” makes people feel safer, that’s why they say it on Fox News all the time. The leftist lamestream media does not. Ask yourself this: Do you want to talk tough on crime or do you want to pretend there is no crime and that it’s not out of control and that FUCKING GRANDMAS ARE GETTING MURDERED IN THEIR HOMES BY BLM ANTIFA THUGS DESPERATE FOR RAINBOW FENTANYL SO YOU NEED TO VOTE FOR MEHMET OZ AND JR MAJEWSKI AND MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE TO TAKE AMERICA BACK FROM CRIME!

SO GET WITH IT! Imagine what their plan is to fight crime. They could come up with bills to increase the minimum number of life sentences for a single murder to deter murderers. That BLM Antifa scumbag in the video above would think twice if he knew he could be given two life sentences instead of just one for killing her! Or they could stop the Biden Administration from passing the Green New Deal, which would increase domestic violence and other violent crimes due to stress caused by the noise from windmills! Elect Republicans so they can talk more about why crime is bad!

Belarusian dictator Alexander Lukashenko gifted his boss Russian dictator Vladimir Putin a tractor for Putin’s 70th birthday, the Associated Press reports. The make and model of tractor was unclear, but we feel pretty confident in speculating that it dates to the mid-20th century at the earliest and crafted out of the finest Belarusian aluminum. It’s also unknown if Lukashenko realized a tractor might have actually pissed off Vlad, given the effectiveness of civilian-owned Ukrainian tractors in removing Russian tanks from the battlefield in several well-publicized incidents. The president of Tajikistan meanwhile gifted Putin with at least two giant pyramids made of watermelons.

Republican Michael Henry slightly leads Democrat state Attorney General Letitia James, a Trafalgar Group survey revealed this week. https://t.co/9auRoku39F

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) October 7, 2022

Sensing that someone who would work for such a train wreck of a candidate is not someone who can be trusted to help right the ship as it careens toward increasingly certain destruction, Herschel Walker has fired his campaign’s political director, Taylor Crowe, CNN reports. Earlier this year Crowe had served in the same post on former Senator David “Chickenshit” Perdue’s failed gubernatorial primary challenge, so yeah, he should probably just find another industry.

To discourage drivers from taking Texan taxpayer money to ship migrants to New York City, the NYPD’s Motor Carrier Safety Unit have begun interdicting the buses and subjecting them to rigorous inspections, inevitably finding violations and hitting them with summonses, the Daily Beast reports.

It’s the gentlest solution to a crisis wrought by that spiteful little shit Greg Abbott, dumping 17,000 migrants awaiting asylum proceedings in the city, just as Mayor Eric Adams has declared a state of emergency and requested federal help to manage the influx of desperate people duped by the paraplegic human trafficker’s goons. By making the costs too high for any driver to want to take the job, Low Energy Greg will be stuck handing them over to similarly inadequate man Ron DeSantis to fly to Cape Cod or Hawaii or wherever else his malformed brain desires.

Some people think that they have to agree with their politicians 100% of the time. And I ask these people, “Are any of you married?” pic.twitter.com/HApO97dpkx

— Tim Ryan (@TimRyan) October 7, 2022

During the penultimate day of his historic failure of his one term in office, disgraced former President Trump made an fevered attempt to declassify documents about the Russia investigation but for unclear reasons couldn’t get the job done and gave up, ABC News reports.

Trump’s star for trying

The Donald met with one of his top private sector propagandists, discredited journalist John Solomon that night, who helped sort out which documents to declassify and which ones to leave behind because they correctly made him look guilty. Justice Department lawyers reportedly received the files back in such disarray that they still to this day don’t know which ones are declassified and which ones aren’t. Which is probably the reason why the DOJ have yet to fulfill his order nearly two years later, as Senators RonAnon and Old Man Grassley have complained about. “The Justice Department has … failed to declassify a single page,” they wrote back in February. The biggest mystery however is why Trump couldn’t just think about declassifying the documents. Why aren’t the docs public now if he thought about it? Why did his thinking powers fail?

Republican Oklahoma Congressman Tom Cole made a serious political error by going on record for a Friday morning Politico story about a potential House GOP majority’s plans for impeaching President Biden for inventing rainbow fentanyl of canceling Dr Suess or whatever the dipshits would want to do.

“I hope we don’t [impeach Biden]. I would argue we all know, at the end of the day, there’s not going to be a conviction in the Senate. It just injects poison into the system, causes a lot of turmoil,” said Cole, who just painted a target on his back for being all mindful of the potential consequences and shit instead of just charging forward recklessly and not actually delivering anything remotely resembling “justice” to the MAGA voters who are going to be fucking miserable no matter what.

Brandonployment, an important measure of Brandonomics, sank to 3.5% nationally as the Brandonconomy added a higher-than-forecast 263,000 new jobs in September, Bloomberg reports.

“The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided to award the Nobel Peace Prize for 2022 to one individual and two organisations. The Peace Prize laureates represent civil society in their home countries. They have for many years promoted the right to criticise power and protect the fundamental rights of citizens. They have made an outstanding effort to document war crimes, human right abuses and the abuse of power. Together they demonstrate the significance of civil society for peace and democracy. This year’s Peace Prize is awarded to human rights advocate Ales Bialiatski from Belarus, the Russian human rights organisation Memorial and the Ukrainian human rights organisation Center for Civil Liberties,” says the Nobel press release, confirming fat former President Trump lost the peace prize again, at least five years after he believed he should have won.

A 64-year-old Iowa man was arrested by FBI agents for leaving a voicemail for a local election official in which he threatened to hang him for not altering election results in 2020 to give the win to Donald Trump, NBC News reports.

In September 2021, eight months after Joe Biden was sworn in as the 46th President of the United States, Mark Rissi called a Maricopa County election official and left the following voicemail:  “Hello Mr. [VICTIM], I am glad that you are standing up for democracy and want to place your hand on the Bible and say that the election was honest and fair. I really appreciate that. When we come to lynch your stupid lying Commie fucker, you’ll remember that you lied on the fucking Bible, you piece of shit. You’re gonna die, you piece of shit. We’re going to hang you. We’re going to hang you.”

In December 2021, he then left another voicemail for an employee of Arizona’s Attorney General’s office:  “I’m a victim of a crime. My family is a victim of a crime. My extended family is a victim of a crime. That crime was the theft of the 2020 election. The election that was fraudulent across the state of Arizona, that [VICTIM] knows was fraudulent, that [VICTIM] has images of the conspirators deleting election fraud data from the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors computer system. Do your job, [VICTIM], or you will hang with those fuckers in the end. We will see to it. Torches and pitchforks. That’s your future, [unspecified expletive]. Do your job.”

President Joe Biden said the risk of nuclear war is at the highest it has been since the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962, when the Soviets tried to station nuclear weapons 90 miles off the coast of Florida, Reuters reports.

Speaking at a fundraiser in New York City, Biden noted that Russian President Vladimir Putin’s threat that he would order the use of nuclear arms would lead to Armageddon, even if it was the use of a small-yield tactical weapon.

“For the first time since the Cuban Missile Crisis, we have a direct threat to the use of nuclear weapons, if in fact things continue down the path they’d been going,” Biden said, adding, “I don’t think there’s any such thing as the ability to easily (use) a tactical nuclear weapon and not end up with Armageddon.”

“Well, look, I’ve spent the last ten years in the state house and as the lieutenant governor championing some of the most conservative policies,” Republican Georgia Lt. Governor Geoff Duncan responds when CNN’s Anderson Cooper asks if he would vote for Herschel Walker of Texas, the Republican Senate candidate for Georgia.  “My campaign for lieutenant governor, I was accused of being too conservative, but I was one that was willing to build a consensus.  I’m not voting for Rafael Warnock and, ah, and, ah, Herschel Walker has not earned my respect or my vote, and, ah, I’m like hundreds of thousands of other Republicans here in Georgia:  we’re confused.  We don’t really have anywhere to go right now.”

Since the start of October, Ukrainian military forces have liberated 150 square miles of territory in the Kherson Oblast, roughly 1% of the state, that had once been occupied by Russians and local Russian-aligned groups, USA Today reports.

The gains by Ukraine, roughly the size of the metropolitan Philadelphia area in the southernmost area of Russia’s advance in this invasion, are helped by Russian supply lines being stretched and rations short.

The Ukrainians have successfully pushed Russian forces out of the Kharkiv region in the north as well, with Ukrainian forces making some advances into the neighboring Luhansk region, one of the four Ukrainian provinces Russian President Vladimir Putin signed documents formally claiming to annex on Wednesday.  The Luhansk area, part of the industrialized Donbas region, was taken over by Russian-friendly forces–and likely Russian mercenaries called Little Green Men–in 2014 and has been under Russian control since.

The far-right anti-government Oath Keepers were fraught with conspiracy, paranoia and insurrection in the days around the 2020 election, with leaders planning ways to prevent Joe Biden from becoming President, three of their members told the jury in the trial of the group’s founder and four others for seditious conspiracy and other charges relating to their participation in the Republican-led January 6th domestic terrorist attack on Congress.

Politico reports that three members of the group took the stand Tuesday, each telling a story about how Stewart Rhodes and other leaders discussed plans to disrupt the certification of the 2020 election as well as their efforts to intimidate elections officials in various states.

In one of the more sinister and stupid discussions, Rhodes told members organizing to attend the Million MAGA March in November 2020 pushing empty baby strollers or disguised as elderly people.  Rhodes believed that antifa and BLM members would cause violence at the rally, which drew just thousands, but they would target the weak and the vulnerable, likely because that’s what Rhodes himself would do.

The Department of Justice has informed lawyers for Donald Trump recently that it believes Agent Orange still possesses numerous government documents, once again countering statements Trump and his lawyers have made about the return of documents, the New York Times reports.

The head of the DOJ’s counterintelligence operations unit, Jay I. Bratt, informed Trump’s lawyers within recent weeks that it has evidence did not return all the documents in his possess, as Trump and his lawyers have claimed.  The document did not specify what information investigators have, nor where they believe the documents are kept.

Following solid reports Thursday that Republican Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse would resign from Congress and take a job at the University of Florida, the Donald weighed in with a typical shitpost:

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump
Great news for the United States Senate, and our Country itself. Liddle’ Ben Sasse, the lightweight Senator from the great State of Nebraska, will be resigning. If he knew he was going to resign so early in his term, why did he run in the first place? But it’s still great news! The University of Florida will soon regret their decision to hire him as their President…

693 2,230 Oct 6, 2022, 18:31

“We have enough weak and ineffective RINOs in our midst. I look forward to working with the terrific Republican Party of Nebraska to get a REAL Senator to represent the incredible People of that State, not another Fake RINO!” continued the fatass, as if he ever cared about UF’s leadership before.

That said, we have to wonder if this becomes a flashpoint between Trump and Ron DeSantis once the Orange God Emperor comes to understand that his wannabe successor for GOP Overlord has at least some influence over the hiring decision. Likely not unilaterally, but six of the twelve seats on the Board of Trustees are appointed by the governor of Florida. It’s not clear how many of those six were DeSantis’s picks or if he can replace them at will, but such details would be pretty much irrelevant if and when Donald gets it into his head that Ron has power he could use to either block Sasse from taking the job or make his life miserable afterward (Side note: DeSantis is in fact definitely not averse to fucking around with University of Florida academics on other matters).

So does Sasse end up becoming like the USS John McCain, an affront to his fragile ego that must be erased at all costs? Does this in very short order become not about stupid Ben Sasse at all but actually the first real fiery public salvo between the Orange Pharaoh and the “TOP GOV” we’ve all been waiting for? Stay tuned to National Zero for the exciting conclusion of this contrived storyline!

Justice Department: “An Iowa man was arrested today in Hiawatha, Iowa, for allegedly sending a threatening communication to an election official on the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors in Maricopa County, Arizona, and for allegedly sending a threatening communication to an official with the Office of the Arizona Attorney General. Mark A. Rissi, 64, of Hiawatha, is expected to make his initial appearance today at the federal courthouse in Cedar Rapids. According to the indictment, on or about Sept. 27, 2021, Rissi allegedly left the following voicemail for the election official with the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors: ‘Hello Mr. [VICTIM], I am glad that you are standing up for democracy and want to place your hand on the Bible and say that the election was honest and fair. I really appreciate that. When we come to lynch your stupid lying Commie [expletive], you’ll remember that you lied on the [expletive] Bible, you piece of [expletive]. You’re gonna die, you piece of [expletive]. We’re going to hang you. We’re going to hang you.'”

“Additionally, on or about Dec. 8, 2021, Rissi allegedly said the following in a voicemail message he left for an official with the Office of the Arizona Attorney General: ‘I’m a victim of a crime. My family is a victim of a crime. My extended family is a victim of a crime. That crime was the theft of the 2020 election. The election that was fraudulent across the state of Arizona, that [VICTIM] knows was fraudulent, that [VICTIM] has images of the conspirators deleting election fraud data from the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors computer system. Do your job, [VICTIM], or you will hang with those [expletive] in the end. We will see to it. Torches and pitchforks. That’s your future, [expletive]. Do your job.’ Rissi is charged with two counts of making a threatening interstate communication and one count of making a threatening telephone call. If convicted, Rissi faces a maximum penalty of up to five years in prison for each count of making a threatening interstate communication and up to two years in prison for making a threatening telephone call.”

Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis will soon begin the next stage of her sweeping investigation into the Trump Regime’s failed attempt to overturn the 2020 election in the state and start issuing indictments as soon as December, sources tell CNN.

While any charges, especially against Trump, who was the reason this whole fucking shitshow started because he called Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger to “find 11,780 votes,” would be welcome, we think it should be before the midterms. He’s not on the ballot, nor are the vast majority of the other would-be defendants. Indict his fat ass now and save the others for later Fani.

Republican Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse will on Thursday announce his resignation from the US Senate to pursue to academic job, KFAB news reports. Sasse was among the seven Republican Senators who voted to convict disgraced former President Trump in his second impeachment trial. Other than that he did basically jack shit to oppose the rising fascism within the party. Fuck him.