Remember the odd story from April of two men who pretended to be Department of Homeland Security agents and spent tens of thousands of dollars on gifts and equipment for real members of the US Secret Service?  According to Reuters, one of the people involved has pleaded guilty and promised to cooperate with authorities.

Arian “Ari” Taherzadeh pleaded guilty to a conspiracy charge, a count of illegally possessing a large capacity ammunition device and voyeurism.  Taherzadeh and two other men used their fake personas to foster relationships with federal agents and local law enforcement.

Four Secret Service agents, who have been suspended pending the investigation, reportedly accepted gifts from the trio, who claimed to be from a secret DHS task force and said they were allowed to recruit members from other agencies.  The trio gave the actual USSS agents gifts such as free apartments, firearms and body armor.  One of the Secret Service agents had been assigned to the detail protecting First Lady Dr. Jill Biden.

The families of the some of the victims of the 2019 mass shooting at the California garlic festival, where three were killed and 17 wounded, filed lawsuits in Vermont against the manufacturer and distributor of the assault weapon used by the gunman, the Associated Press reports.

The lawsuits, filed against manufacturer Florida-based Century International Arms and Romanian firearm producer ROMARM, claims the two companies did not take basic steps to prevent their products from being misused.

“Defendants knowingly breached the duty to exercise the highest degree of reasonable care in preventing the diversion of firearms to dangerous actors that they had voluntarily assumed when they entered the firearms business,” said the lawsuits, which was filed on their third anniversary of the shooting in Gilroy, California.

“I’ve been banned by the Chillmark Library, the library that I love, that I speak at every year,” accused sexual assaulter and disgraced lawyer who defended the Chief Insurrectionist Alan Dershowitz whines.  “But once I defended President Trump, I couldn’t speak at the Chillmark Library, the Chillmark Community Center, the Martha’s Vineyard Hebrew Center and a range of other places.  People wanna hear me speak, but the bureaucrats are, are censoring me, so it can be Big Tech, it can be universities, it can be small libraries but we’re living in an age of censorship.  People don’t want to hear opposing points of view.”

Well, no, Dersh, people would want to hear an intelligent opposing point of view, not one from a man who claimed that the sitting President of the United States is above all law and cannot be held responsible for trying to blackmail a foreign government to help him in a domestic election, which is what you did during Trump’s first impeachment.  And they definitely don’t want to hear about it from an alleged child sex abuser, which is why a public library likely banned you.  (I mean, would you want an alleged child sexual abuser roaming the stacks of your local library?)  And censorship isn’t preventing you from speaking at a library or a university; it’s barring you from speaking out at all.  Heck, you can host all these people at your home, if you want them to hear what you say.  You’re guaranteed your freedom to speak; you’re not guaranteed a soapbox or an arena.

Congresswoman and cloven-hoofed beast Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) doesn’t know how to react to the news that President Joe Biden ordered the drone strike that killed the leader of al Qaeda in Afghanistan.  Saying “Joe’s victory lap is ridiculous,” Marge goes on to claim that the US military pull-out of Afghanistan–a deal Donald Trump put together–was a “failure.”  (Last I checked, the US still didn’t have forces in the country, so it looks like the withdrawal was successful.)

“[N]o one in America has been sweating an attack from Al Qaeda lately or even heard a thing about them,” Marge claims, apparently unaware that the entire American society–and the world–was rocked by the deadliest single terrorist attack in modern times on September 11, 2001, and that Donald Trump touted “a top al Qaeda leader” being killed in Yemen as recently as February 2020.  Note, Marge, that Joe got THE top al Qaeda leader, not the innumerable “tops” Donnie Donuts boasted about.

So while Marge is complaining about the treatment of Republican domestic terrorists being held without bail in a DC prison for literally trying to upend the Constitution she had taken an oath to protect and defend, the greatest foreign terrorist threat to the West was eliminated.  Marge’s last comment on her tweet string is just another of her Mean Girl performance art, demonstrating her pettiness, ignorance and inanity:  “Put Joe to bed early with a dose of Ivermectin.”  Go to hell, Marge.

Did they actually vote in the 2020 election?

— National Zero (@NationalZeroUSA) August 1, 2022

A former ally of Russian President Vladimir Putin is hospitalized in an undisclosed European hospital with a rare infection, with reports that medical staff treating him were wearing hazmat suits, CNN reports.

Anatoly Chubais was taken to the hospital with a suspected case of Guillain-Barre syndrome, a neurological condition that can be brought on by a viral or bacterial infection.  His wife reported that he was in an “unstable” state.

A one-time key economic advisor to Putin and later his special envoy for international affairs, Chubais left the Kremlin after Putin order the invasion of Ukraine and went to live in an undisclosed European country.  Various opponents of Putin, both in and out of Russia, have suffered poisonings and/or various ailments linked to toxin exposures.

A day before he’s expected to lose pretty badly in the Arizona GOP Senate primary, Arizona Attorney General Mark Brnovich sent a letter Monday to Republican state Senate President Karen Fann, informing her that his office finished their investigation into allegations of dead people voting in 2020, writing they “received numerous complaints regarding allegations of dead voters during the 2020 elections, including those presented to us by you on September 24, 2021, following the completion of the Cyber Ninjas’ audit. This specific complaint alleged that 282 individuals who were deceased prior to October 5, 2020, voted in the November 3, 2020 general election.”

“After spending hundreds of hours reviewing these allegations, our investigators were able to determine that only one of the 282 individuals on the list was deceased at the time of the election. All other persons listed as deceased were found to be current voters. Our agents investigated all individuals that Cyber Ninjas reported as dead, and many were very surprised to learn they were allegedly deceased. In addition, we received dead voter reports from other sources that were also reviewed. Three reports were submitted to the EIU that combined alleged 409 dead voters. One additional report, making no distinction between dead voters and dead registrants, included 5,943 registrations. Once again, these claims were thoroughly investigated and resulted in only a handful of potential cases. Some were so absurd the names and birthdates didn’t even match the deceased, and others included dates of death after the election. While our office has successfully prosecuted other instances of dead voters, these cases were ultimately determined to be isolated instances,” wrote Brnovich, who is clearly kind of a fucking idiot and an incompetent campaigner.

Why the hell didn’t he just tell the state’s Republican voters that he had EXPLOSIVE findings from his investigation into the MASSIVE FRAUD that occurred in the state in 2020 and would release it during his primary victory celebration? MAGA clowns love that kind of shit even if it would be transparently gimmicky to the rest of us. Actually ESPECIALLY when it’s transparently gimmicky. This proves Brnovich really doesn’t have what it takes to Make Arizona Great Again, Again.

Seriously. Trump endorsed “ERIC.” He literally wrote “I am therefore proud to announce that ERIC has my Complete and Total Endorsement!” thereby splitting it between Attorney General Eric Schmitt and disgraced former Governor Eric Greitens. This is so fucking stupid.

https://twitter.com/EricGreitens/status/1554229225862864899

Greitens quickly claimed the purposely ambiguous endorsement as his, beating Schmitt by 36 minutes in tweeting he alone had the Orange God Emperor’s backing in the hotly contested race.

Hey, you know what they say about the Big Apple, anything can happen in a New York minute! Huhuh! Lots of crazy stuff has happened here in the City that never sleeps! Bada-bing! You’re never far from the action here! HEY,! I’m walkin here! First some fella from Holland swindled some Native American marks out of Manhattan, then King Kong made the city famous, then the September 11th terrorist attack happened, and then the M&Ms store opened in Times Square! Boom!

And heh, you know what they say about the Big Apple, you gotta expect the unexpected! Coming like it was right out of left field in Yankee Stadium is a new pop-up from Fancy Feast Cat Food, called “Gatto Blanco” where they’re gonna serve up “cat food inspired” Italian dishes! Mangia!

It’s a New York original! Just like Sbarro Pizza and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York! That movie’s a true slice of the Big Apple! Ya gotta see it! It’s as wild and unpredictable as a city where a cat food company opens up an Italian bistro! Time will tell if this unique and exciting concept takes off. Hey, you know what they say about the Big Apple, if you can make it here you can make it anywhere!

Politico reports that a weekend drone strike in Afghanistan by the United States military killed al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahri.  The news was first reported by the Associated Press.

A senior administration official told reporters, “over the weekend, the United States conducted a counterterrorism operation against a significant Al Qaeda target in Afghanistan. The operation was successful and there were no civilian casualties.”  Zawahri, an Egyptian, became the leader of the international terrorist organization upon the death of Osama bin Laden, who was killed in a SEAL team operation in Pakistan.  The US had placed a $25 million bounty on Zawahri’s head.

Typically a person who kept a low profile, Zawahri released a video in May echoing a Republican talking point, popular with titular Party head Donald Trump, that Joe Biden forced Russia to invade Ukraine.  His only other public statement was a “proof of life” video released in April after rumors of his death swirled in the Middle East.

The Washington Post reports that Democratic West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin struck a deal with Party leadership to streamline the approval process for new energy projects across the country, including a pipeline that will originate in West Virginia.

The deal will be voted on separately than the economic, energy and environmental deal that will put nearly $400 billion into programs such as solar panel production and alternative fuels as well minimum taxes levied on corporations that fall in line with international standards.  Democratic leaders promised Manchin support for a 300-mile pipeline that would transport natural gas from West Virginia to Virginia, something that was a priority for Manchin.

The disclosure of the deal could spur impudent Democratic Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema to stomp her feet and demand Democratic leaders pay attention to her.  Sinema reportedly has been courting Republicans for things they want to see in the bill, with includes a tax on accrued interest she doesn’t like.

Texas January 6th Capitol rioter Guy Reffitt, a member of the III%ers MAGA White Nationalist militia–the first January 6th Republican terrorist to be convicted by a jury who found him guilty in March of multiple felony counts including entering a restricted area with a firearm–was sentenced to 87 months–a little more than 7 years–in prison Monday, CBS News’s Rob Legare reports. Federal prosecutors sought 15 years under enhanced sentencing guidelines for domestic terrorists, a first in Justice Department history, but were denied by the Trump-appointed Judge Dabney L Friedrich.

The deck was completely stacked against Reffitt from the start, with voluminous evidence of his intent shown to jurors, including video of him saying he planned to drag Nancy Pelosi down the Capitol steps by her hair.  His son Jackson and a Capitol Police officer testified for the prosecution’s case, leaving Reffitt’s attorney to work with such flimsy arguments as “People say outrageous things,” and “This case has been a rush to judgment – most of it based on a lot of bragging and a lot of hype,” and telling the prosecutors to “Be the grown-ups in the courtroom.”

https://youtu.be/o5Nr0qsPihM

Setting himself up for yet another defamation case against him, the conspiracy king and “before” photo for any health product Alex Jones decides stupidly to describe on his podcast how he’s trying to shield his assets from the Sandy Hook families who have sued him for claiming their children weren’t really killed in a 2012 mass shooting and extend their grief by manipulating how his finances are reported to the courts in a lawsuit he already lost.

They lie to the jury in the damages portion and say I got hundreds of millions of dollars.  That’s why they do this so they come up with giant judgement on the already-guilty Alex Jones that they hope is too big for us to even get a bond on.  Well, once you’re in bankruptcy, it’s already in the court and the bonds for the appeals are half your net worth.  Well, that isn’t going to be very, very much, maybe a million, million and a half dollars or something, and they’re gonna try to claim all this other wealth, but it, it’s not true so then we’ll be able to continue on with appeals and the rest of it for years, and we will be able ta, to fight these kangaroo courts.

Georgia Republicans continue to cost their state money and fun:  the organizers of a large September music festival in downtown Atlanta have canceled the event after government officials said they could not restrict patrons from carrying guns into the venue, WXIA NBC-11 in Atlanta reports.

Scheduled for mid-September in Atlanta’s Piedmont Park, the festival has attracted tens of thousands of music fans, generating millions of dollars in income for area businesses like bars and hotels.  Organizers had announced that they would not allow patrons to bring weapons into the concert site.

Georgia state law mandates that people can carry any legal firearm in any public space, and organizers who have permits to hold events in those spaces are powerless to try to protect their patrons from people with guns.  Curiously, the law would allow festival organizers to prevent people from bringing knives, nunchucks, spears, swords (broad or epee), throwing stars and other non-gunpowder-based weapons that are less lethal into the concert site.  The law also does not prevent organizers from banning gunpowder-based items like firecrackers or dynamite, so it appears that Georgia lawmakers only want to coddle people who need to carry guns everywhere because they’re a-scared.

After dodging it for 2+ years I’ve tested positive for COVID-19. I’m fully vaccinated and boosted, and doing fine. While quarantining I’ll continue to fight Chuck Schumer and Joe Manchin’s massive tax increase on working families remotely, consistent with CDC guidelines.

— Senator John Cornyn (@JohnCornyn) August 1, 2022

Really not a good time to not be showing up to work for literally any Republican in the Senate (or Democrat for that matter) given they never agreed to do proxy voting like the House did and that MAGA Nation is praying for DINO Kyrsten Sinema to come through after Manchin “screwed” them. So despite Cornhole’s bluster here, it’s just simple math and he can’t “continue to fight” shit if he can’t vote. Hell if the Dems get their act together they can just ram through their reconciliation package with or without Sinema on board before Cornhole tests negative and is cleared to return.

Non-Correction: The current version of this article misspelled Senator John Cornyn’s name as ‘Cornhole’ several times. National Zero does not regret the error and will not be correcting it.

As expected, Dainty Southern Senator Lindsey Graham on Monday filed a challenge in federal court to the subpoena from the Fulton County, Georgia grand jury investigating the Trump Reich’s failed efforts to overturn his loss to Joe Biden in the state, the Associated Press reports.

Lindsey called Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger at least twice in the weeks following the Orange God Emperor’s humiliating loss in the state – which is not the one Lindsey represents in the Senate – to try to get Raff to “explore the possibility of a more favorable outcome for former President Donald Trump,” per a court filing from Fulton County DA Fani Willis. After Raffensperger went public about the calls – pretty much right after they happened in November 2020 – Lindsey noticeably laid low from all the “Stop the Steal” bullshit and did not sign on with Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley’s efforts to object to the certification of the election. We’re not lawyers, but that looks awfully like a possible indicator of consciousness of guilt on Lindsey’s part considering you’d think he would’ve been even louder than the other two assclowns in the post-election period given his otherwise almost completely uninterrupted prostrations before his Orange Warlord.

And fuck Raw Story for their story headlined “Lindsey Graham agrees to testify before Georgia grand jury in election meddling case” on July 19th. Fucking amateurs. Watch them not correct it.

The Michigan Court of Appeals ruled Monday that a lower court order barring enforcement of the state’s long-dormant 1931 ban on abortion does not apply to county prosecutors, the Detroit Free Press reports on a massively consequential ruling that could throw the state into chaos.

Dem Michigan Gov Gretchen Whitmer said it isn’t over. “As we look at next steps, Michiganders should know that Governor Whitmer will continue to fight like to hell to protect a woman’s ability to make her own medical decisions with her trusted health care provider,” Whitmer chief comms officer Kaylie Hanson said in a statement. “Earlier this year, Governor Whitmer took executive action asking the Michigan Supreme Court to resolve whether the state constitution protects the right to abortion. The Michigan Supreme Court could take up the governor’s lawsuit at any time, and they should do so immediately to provide clarity for Michiganders that their right to abortion remains.”

The White House announced Monday the COVID-19 virus is still recovering from Joe Biden, who remains in isolation as his vaccine antibodies and plaxovid treatments annihilate the virus’s presence from the 46th president’s system, no bleach or UV light required.

Asked on the Clay Travis and Butt Sexton show what he thought of the proposed prisoner trade to bring WNBA star Brittney Griner back home in exchange for convicted arms dealer Viktor Bout, the Orange God Emperor appeared to imply that Griner got what she deserved and Russian authorities were right to imprison her for carrying a little bit of hash oil. “She knew you don’t go in there loaded up with drugs… It certainly doesn’t seem like a very good trade, does it?” said the Donald.

It’s not clear what if anything Viktor Bout was supposed to have invested in Trump-owned real estate before backing out of the deal and subsequently being arrested. We just made that up but if anyone can think of a better reason why Trump doesn’t like him we’d love to hear it. Also unmentioned by Clay Travis or Butt Sexton to Trump is that the prisoner exchange proposed by Secretary of State Tony Blinken is a two-for-one deal also including former Marine Paul Whelan, a guy who has been held in Russia since 2018 on fake espionage charges and whom Trump made no effort to have released back home in the two years he still had in office following Whelan’s arrest.

But since Griner is a tall Black lesbian athlete who was “loaded up with drugs” we understand why they want to ignore the middle aged white veteran who reportedly is himself a Trump fan, (or at least was prior to his arrest in Russia). It is pretty damn inconvenient to the narrative of Biden and Blinken selling out MAGAmerica for some gay liberal woman who got what she deserved.

In an interview with the Detroit News ahead of Michigan’s Tuesday primary elections, Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson warned the enemies of freedom that democracy is non-negotiable, and all resistance by Trump-loyal clerks and canvassers will be crushed without mercy or quarter.

“Any attempts to block the certification of our elections, regardless of the results, will be futile,” Benson said, possibly while snapping a Trump bobblehead doll in half for emphasis. “We are confident that the courts will swiftly enforce the law and that at the end of the day, the will of the people will stand.” Benson may or may not have then cackled maniacally as a bolt of lighting split the sky behind the gothic windows of her office as her black bull mastiff “Sprinkle” growled menacingly at the reporter. Or the interview happened over Zoom and Benson chit-chatted with the reporter about the Tigers’ pitching rotation for a minute or two after the main subject matter was dispensed with. The whole exchange was probably closer to the second one if we’re being honest.