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Former South Korean prime minister gets 23 years in the joint

A South Korean court on Wednesday sentenced former South Korean Prime Minister Han Duck-Soo to 23 years in prison for his role in his boss – disgraced ex-President Yoon Suk Yeol’s – 2024 attempt to declare martial law in the country over some localized QAnon bullshit, the AP reports.

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FBI arrests two of Don Lemon’s anti-Christian terrorists

Feckless idiot US Attorney General Pam Bondi on Thursday announced the arrests of “terrorists” Nekima Levy Armstrong and Chauntyll Louisa Allen for storming into the Cities Church in St Paul, Minnesota and confronting pro-ICE pastor David Easterwood during his sermon on Sunday, the Gateway Pundit reports with their usual masturbatory glee over stupid bullshit like this.

There’s no information on whether the two had actually been indicted by a grand jury for any crime so it’s not clear if these arrests were for anything other than MAGA spank material.

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The trains in Spain are causing a lot of pain

Wow! That headline’s a keeper, right? Such a simple, yet clever hook that was too good to pass up even at the risk of trivializing the suffering of 44 people who were killed and about another 305 injured in what Reuters reports has been four accidents this week on Spanish railroads.

The first and by far the deadliest was Sunday’s derailment and then collision between two high speed trains in the country’s southern Andalusian region in which the death toll has reached 43 with 15 of 292 injuries sustained termed as critical. Then on Tuesday a commuter train derailed after a containment wall fell on the track due ​to heavy rain near the city of Barcelona, killing ‌the driver and seriously injuring four passengers. On Thursday in two separate incidents, construction cranes struck passing commuter trains in the country’s southeastern Murcia and and northwest Catalonia.

Understandably, Spain’s rail operators union called for a strike until government officials get safety regulations and inspections back on track. Hahahahaha! National Zero’s still got the juice!

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Netanyahu skipped Davos because of ICC warrant

Anyone demented enough to have been watching the Gaza “Board of Peace” circlejerk at 5:30 AM or earlier in the United States this morning might have noticed the absence of a key player in the charade, Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu, who would have not even made it to the building as he would have been arrested and promptly sent to the Hague to answer his International Criminal Court warrant for the war crimes he ordered committed in the territory, the Financial Times reports.

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“Donald Trump could look at me in the face and tell me to go screw myself and I’d say, ‘Thank you.’ That’s good… That’s a positive thing”

Speaking to the New York Times as one of the respondents to their January national survey – which finds the Orange God Emperor’s approval at an abysmal 40 percent to 56 percent disapprove, 77 year-old Dedham, Massachusetts real estate broker Paul Minihane is quoted as saying he thinks Trump “must be doing something right when there are so many people opposed to him. I mean, Donald Trump could look at me in the face and tell me to go screw myself. And I’d say, ‘Thank you.'”

“I think that’s good. I don’t think he’s looking to kiss everybody’s ass. I think he’s going to do what he thinks is the right thing. And I think that’s a positive thing,” Minihane continued and no, he did not necessarily have to embody the absolute fucking laziest possible ChatGPT v0.5 beta test-level stereotype of a Trump fanboy. That was a choice by a grown-ass man to present himself to a national audience as essentially no different than those who burned alive next to David Koresh.

Only 32 percent of respondents said the economy is better off now than it was a year ago while 63 percent said ICE has gone too far in brutalizing undocumented immigrants and citizens alike and 57 percent of voters – 69 percent of under-30s – thought Trump was focused on the wrong issues.

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ICE deports defendant facing trial in $100 million jewel heist

Chilean illegal alien Jeson Nelon Presilla Flores, arrested last year in connection to a 2022 California truck robbery in which his accomplices made off with $100 million in jewels and watches, is a free man back in his home country rather than in a federal lockup awaiting trial and facing 15 years in the joint, all thanks to ICE, who last month granted Flores a “voluntary departure,” Fox News reports.

Oh and DHS made no effort to inform the US Attorney’s office. “Prosecutors are supposed to allow the civil immigration process to play out independently while criminal charges are pending. That is exactly what they did in this case — unwittingly to defendant’s benefit in that he will now avoid trial, and any potential conviction and sentence, unless and until he returns to the United States,” federal prosecutors wrote in their motion opposing efforts to dismiss the case. Fucking idiots.

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Major winter storm to eff up everything for Eastern US

“Scattered snow squalls to create dangerous travel from the interior Northeast to northern/central New England through Friday…Dangerously cold Arctic air spills out over the Great Plains and Eastern US through the weekend…Major Winter storm to bring crippling ice and sleet to portions of the Southern Plains and Lower Mississippi Valley Friday… A potent mid-level trough pivoting through southeastern Canada will continue producing lake effect snow showers downwind of the Great Lakes through Friday. In addition to the lake effect snow, snow showers and snow squalls are likely to develop behind the associated strong surface cold front moving through the Northeast today, with a second round of snow squalls possible on Friday,” says an NWS bulletin

“The first round of snow squalls is likely to develop across Upstate New York this morning before moving through New England, with multiple rounds of snow squalls possible in some areas. The second round is expected Friday afternoon and should move steadily west to east across the region.”

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Lara Trump assures Fox News fans that Donald’s “faculties” are fine

Between the chyron and the shit that Lara’s telling Frau Ingraham here there’s definitely something like an “Oh fuck” vibe here. Unlike all the scandals and crimes and self-inflicted political clusterfucks from over the years, the fat bastard’s struggle with entropy is not the kind of thing they can parry or dodge or turn into a “lib witch hunt” or whatever other stupid bullshit and they know it. They know it all too well and now the remit is to make sure that dipshit Fox News viewers un-know it ASAP.

The fact that’s taking up ANY time on the propaganda network just screams five-alarm fire though.

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Elizabeth Holmes requests clemency

Semi-Robin Hood-like figure Elizabeth Holmes, who stole from oligarchic criminals Rupert Murdoch, Betsy DeVos, and the Waltons of Walmart fame and gave to herself, submitted a clemency request to the Trump Regime at some point last year, ABC News reports while noting that the precise timing is unspecified. In a vacuum this wouldn’t matter except that it’s possible Holmes saw her fellow Club Fed inmate Ghislaine Maxwell’s treatment and thought, “what the hell why not?”

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Whistleblower says ICE ordered to ignore Fourth Amendment

From a whistleblower report obtained by the Associated Press: “By memorandum dated May 12, 2025 (‘the May 12 Memo’), Acting ICE Director Todd Lyons authorizes ICE agents to forcibly enter into certain people’s homes without a judicial warrant, consent, or an emergency. b. Specifically, in the May 12 Memo, the Acting ICE Director authorized ICE Agents to rely on Form I-205 (which is not a judicial warrant) to enter the residence of an alien subject to a final order of deportation, without consent, including by ‘a necessary and reasonable amount of force.’ c. While addressed to ‘All ICE Personnel,’ in practice the May 12 Memo has not been formally distributed to all personnel.”

“Instead, the May 12 Memo has been provided to select DHS officials who are then directed to verbally brief the new policy for action. Those supervisors then show the Memo to some employees, like our clients, and direct them to read the Memo and return it to the supervisor.”

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RNC offended by photoshop of fascist cosplayer in new attire

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Florida boat captain finds 23 keys of cocaine, hilarity ensues

A press release from the Monroe County, Florida Sheriff’s Office reveals that at a few boats slipped past Pete Hegseth’s pew-pew patrols over the past few months – and yet one cartel crew still lost a few keys near the Keys due to more commonplace hazards. Then a local salt found some and…

“A 65 year-old Marathon, Florida, charter boat captain selling drugs reportedly found at sea was arrested on Jan 19, 2026, following a Sheriff’s Office-led investigation that led to the seizure of more than 20 kilograms of cocaine, a 38-foot vessel, and thousands of dollars in cash. Bradford Todd Picariello was charged with trafficking cocaine, selling cocaine, and possessing cocaine.”

“Sheriff’s Office Special Operations Detectives purchased a kilogram of cocaine from Picariello for $10,000 in cash on Jan 19, 2026, following an investigation assisted by High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area investigators, US Customs and Border Protection, US Border Patrol, US Drug and Enforcement Administration, and CBP Air and Marine Operations. Approximately 23 kilograms were seized altogether, along with $8,000 in cash, and a 38-foot vessel. A .40-caliber handgun was also seized. Picariello was taken to jail. The case is expected to be prosecuted federally,” the release says. And yes, Captain Bradford Todd is a registered Republican voter. You guessed it.

In mostly unrelated news, a Connecticut snow plow driver was arrested after he plowed his truck into a house in the town of Fairfield, later admitting to cops he put a blizzard up his nose.

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Turkey Hill launches new “soft-serve-like” hard-serve ice cream

“Turkey Hill brings the flavor and fun of soft-serve desserts out of the scoop shop and into your home freezer with a new line of nostalgia-inspired soft frozen desserts. Featuring classic fan favorite flavors like Vanilla and Chocolate and Vanilla Twist, these premium quality frozen desserts scoop easily right from the freezer for a perfectly smooth, creamy, soft-serve-like experience in every bite”

“Turkey Hill’s new Soft Dessert line launches with two flavors sure to please the most discerning palates: Vanilla Soft: Made using Turkey Hill’s fan-favorite vanilla flavor, this soft treat takes you back to hot summer days and unforgettable memories! Chocolate and Vanilla Twist Soft: Swirling Turkey Hill’s fan-favorite vanilla flavor with indulgent soft chocolate gives your tastebuds the best of both worlds!” says a press release from Turkey Hill, the leader in mediocre retail brand ice cream.

They have a convenience store chain too, right? Aren’t there Turkey Hills in Pennsylvania and upstate New York? Are the stores as innovative as the brand that markets “soft-serve-like” packaged ice cream that you still have to scoop out of the tub? Why didn’t they at least put it in some kind of oversized squeeze bottle? That could and probably would go a pretty long way toward replicating the experience instead of just selling it in the same package as their lame other flavors.

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Green TACO Land: Trump says agreement brokered by Rutte

“Based upon a very productive meeting that I have had with the Secretary General of NATO, Mark Rutte, we have formed the framework of a future deal with respect to Greenland and, in fact, the entire Arctic Region. This solution, if consummated, will be a great one for the United States of America, and all NATO Nations. Based upon this understanding, I will not be imposing the Tariffs that were scheduled to go into effect on February 1st. Additional discussions are being held concerning The Golden Dome as it pertains to Greenland. Further information will be made available as discussions progress. Vice President JD Vance, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Special Envoy Steve Witkoff, and various others, as needed, will be responsible for the negotiations – They will report directly to me,” posted convicted felon President Trump from Davos on Wednesday.

Probably better than 50/50 chance fat Donald adds US vs Denmark to the list of wars he “stopped.”

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Japanese rescue helicopter crew avoids dangerous volcanic crater by not landing to check on helicopter crashed in volcanic crater

The crew of a rescue helicopter in southern Japan’s southern Kyushu region on Wednesday reported that they had sighted the tourist helicopter that was carrying a pilot and two passengers when it crashed into the volcanic crater of Mount Aso on Monday, but the squad opted against trying to land and check the wreck for survivors since the volcano’s really dangerous, the AP reports.

On top of the hazardous fumes from the volcano, the crew also faced strong winds which could take the helicopter down and require the men to be rescued before they succumbed to the elements.

But hey, they found the tour helicopter… And to stop being so obnoxious about it, it can be allowed that the crew saw no signs of life at the crash site, so it might be a little much to risk their asses only to find a wreck with three dead bodies inside. Had there been three people waving their arms screaming “HELP!” and the chopper still flew off then they would’ve needed a better reason.

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