You MAGA clowns fucking suck. You had us all excited to write some ridiculous fake screed about how First Lady Jill Biden was “just being sarcastic” when she said to a Latino group on Monday that the diversity among Latino Americans makes them “as distinct as the bodegas of the Bronx, as beautiful as the blossoms of Miami and as unique as the breakfast tacos here in San Antonio.”

We were thrilled to do a spiritual sequel to “Was Paul Pelosi’s arrest politically motivated? Yes” and take something legitimately, unambiguously indefensible to make fun of your stupid bullshit again. It would’ve gone on for several paragraphs of increasing cringe with some of your greatest hits extrapolated into a mock defense of Jill Biden. Whatever speechwriter who put it there should be put on the White House janitorial detail for a week for writing something so dumb and cheesy but are you fucking serious? This is offensive? Your party’s leader wanted Border Patrol snipers to shoot Latino migrants in the kneecaps as they approached his giant concrete rampart that never got built but some badly phrased line in a speech nobody cared about otherwise is more racist?

But your cunty hypocrisy and the feigned squeals of affront over this isn’t enough to work with alone. We needed Jill Biden to actually have said something clearly, deeply offensive to make this piece hit the same mark as the Paul Pelosi one did. This is beyond disappointing. You have failed us miserably, MAGA trolls. We’re light years more disgusted with you than we were yesterday.

House January 6th Select Committee member Congressman Jamie Raskin on Monday told NBC News in an interview that former Trump White House counsel Patsy Baloney’s testimony corroborated “almost everything” former aide Cassidy Hutchinson had said about the Donald’s behavior on and around the day of the Capitol riot in her testimony to the committee last month.

“Cipollone has corroborated almost everything that we’ve learned from the prior hearings,” said Raskin “I certainly did not hear him contradict Cassidy Hutchinson… He had the opportunity to say whatever he wanted to say, so I didn’t see any contradiction there.” Raskin also hinted there may be more hearings even after the prime time “finale” originally set for this Thursday but not officially announced, which is now reportedly being pushed back to next week. “One thing I’ve learned over the course of the select committee is that we never say, ‘Finally, the research and investigation are over.’ Because we are continuing to learn astounding new things on a daily basis.”

Disgraced former President Trump trails evil little bastard Florida Gov Ron DeSantis 32-28 among college-educated Republican primary voters in a 2024 matchup question on the most recent New York Times/Siena College survey, but leads DeSantis 58 to 21 percent with non-college educated Republican voters and 49 to 25 with the overall GOP electorate. The Times notes that Trump is in a worse position than Hillary Clinton faced among Dem primary voters going in to 2016 when she was already considered the presumptive nominee – a protracted primary fight with Bernie Sanders damaged her going into the general election and contributed to her loss to the Orange Satan.

QAnon freak former Overstock.com CEO Patrick Byrne will meet with investigators from the House January 6th Select Committee to testify soon, CNN reports. Byrne was present at a December 2020 Oval Office meeting and helped push the insane “seize the voting machines” plan alongside fellow conspiracy assclowns Mike Flynn, Sidney “Kraken” Powell, and Mike Lindell.

Democratic Pennsylvania Attorney General Josh Shapiro notified Tioga Borough President Steve Hazlett that the borough violated a state law because it failed to conduct a background check on Timothy Loehmann to be its police officer, the Washington Post reports.

In 2014, while on duty as a Cleveland police officer, Loehmann jumped out of a patrol car before it had stopped and shot Tamir Rice, a 12-year-old boy who was playing with a toy gun in a park.  Although Loehmann was criminally cleared of any wrongdoing, he was fired from the Cleveland Police Department because in the aftermath of the killing, the media discovered a history of claims against Loehmann for excess use of force when he was a cop in another jurisdiction; Loehmann was fired for lying on his job application.

Shapiro noted Tioga violated the state’s Act 57, a regulation enacted after the police killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, that requires jurisdictions to run a background check on all law enforcement applicants before they’re offered a job to ensure they weren’t fired for disciplinary reasons from another police force.

“My father, I think, was the best president in US history,” the soon-to-be-forgotten middle son still trying to secure his place in the will Eric Trump said on the lightly watched Newsmax propaganda network, apparently having been relegated to the lower-tier networks after his weak performance on January 6th.

“Maybe I’m biased in saying that.”  Well, yeah… ya think?

I don’t hate the man, but it’s time for Trump to hang up his hat & sail into the sunset.

Dems should also call off the attack – don’t make it so that Trump’s only way to survive is to regain the Presidency.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 12, 2022

Musk followed up with another response to a question from a right-wing radio host about alleged Trump “achievements” Musk didn’t like:  “Yeah, but too much drama. Do we really want a bull in a china shop situation every single day!? Also, I think the legal maximum age for start of Presidential term should be 69.”

Tuesday’s televised hearing of the House Select Committee investigating the January 6th domestic terrorist attack on Congress will feature a number of people associated with far-right extremist groups, including one person who described himself as the Oath Keepers’ “propagandist,” NBC News reports.

The committee will present evidence that Donald Trump’s tweet on December 19, 2020–“Peter Navarro releases 36-page report alleging election fraud ‘more than sufficient’ to swing victory to Trump … . A great report by Peter. Statistically impossible to have lost the 2020 Election. Big protest in D.C. on January 6th.  Be there, will be wild!”–was a beacon for violent nationalists groups to rally their members to attack Congress.

One of the expected witnesses is Jason Van Tatenhove, who was the national media director for the Oath Keepers from 2014 to 2017 and who denies continuing connections to the group.  Van Tatenhove is expected to describe how Oath Keepers leader Stewart Rhodes frequently bought into and manipulated conspiracy theories to motivate his members.

A lone crusader for justice reportedly scored a major victory Monday in the battle against MAGA propaganda on the mean streets of New York City. Sources say the mysterious crimefighter swiftly took down all of the messages of hate toward truth, justice, and the American way on the eastern walkway of the Brooklyn Bridge. The people of Gotham can now rest more easily tonight knowing some stupid shit probably left by Red State tourists befouls this fair city no longer.

Disgraced former President Trump’s paid admission MAGA rally set for this Friday in North Carolina has been called off due to the Donald’s scheduling conflict with the New York Attorney General’s office hauling his fat ass in for a deposition, the Charlotte News-Observer reports.

The tickets cost fans from $9 to $3,955 to see their Orange Allah perform his dumbest hits to a private audience. No word on a new date or refunds for the cultists who shelled out for the fucking “VIP package” or whatever the hell they would’ve paid $3,955 for. Dumbasses. The “American Freedom Tour” promotion says the ticket is transferable to any other event, which is great for the people in North Carolina willing to travel to Madison, Wisconsin on August 20th, which is the only other date currently listed on the website for the traveling MAGA circus act.

Simone Gold, the founder of America’s Frontline Doctors–the group in white coats with surprisingly non-wraparound sleeves that stood on the steps of the Supreme Court and complained about alien DNA, demon semen and how coronavirus wasn’t really a threat–is now complaining that she got sentenced to jail for breaking the law.  She, of all people, got sentenced to jail… which is obviously tyranny, y’know, after going through an investigation, and an indictment, and a preliminary hearing, and then a jury trial.  Downright tyranny!

As you probably heard by now, I was sentenced for a misdemeanor trespass with a shocking 60 days in federal prison.  It’s unheard of.  I-I don’t know anybody’s who’s ever gone to prison for a misdemeanor let alone misdemeanor trespass by a non-violent career female.  It’s, it’s unconscionable.  I’m here to say that this tyranny is coming to, ah, our nation and that we need to have every person throughout the nation to be aware of it and to speak up about it.  I do feel that the conservative voices, have allowed themselves to be silenced in the matter of the January 6th defendants.  It’s not right when one person loses their civil liberties illegally, then it threatens all of us.

Some asshole who bankrolled the failed effort to recall California governor Gavin Newsom is now dropping $82,000 to recount the June 8th election for Nevada County, California clerk which assistant clerk and national election worker advocate Natalie Adona won by 15,000 votes, defeating two MAGA conspiracy dipshits by nearly 15,000 votes, the Los Angeles Times reports.

“Something doesn’t smell right… We have a crisis here in this state of who’s in charge of democracy, and it ain’t the county clerks, and it’s not the local city clerks. It’s the people,” said Conservative activist Randy Economy, and good God what kind of fucking flaming tool goes by that name. Might as well be “Randy Prosperity” or “Randy Affluence.” Adona is an alum of the Democracy Project and a nationally recognized advocate for election worker safety. Her actual politics are unclear – she could be a Dem or a “RINO” for all we know. Either way she squashed both her hardcore election denier rivals: MAGA dickbag Jason Tedder, who demands that ballots be driven from precincts to the clerk in sheriff’s department vehicles “tracked in real time” by GPS, came in with 23%, while 9% went to self-proclaimed “citizen auditor” Paul Gilbert.

Now maybe, just maybe, this is yet another example of why Republican candidates shouldn’t push this “election integrity” conspiracy bullshit so hard because they kind of have a tendency to become self-fulfilling prophecies. Maybe just quieter, more discreet means of weaseling voter suppression is a better strategy than making “StOp tHe StEaL” the entire central issue of your campaign, which means you’re relying on people you’ve convinced elections are rigged to vote.

Just throwing that out there. No skin off our backs if actual election professionals like Natalie Adona and Brad Raffensperger win these kind of races instead of debased MAGA shitbrains.

The White House official live stream of the unveiling of the first complete image from the James Webb Space Telescope is scheduled to begin at 5:30 p.m. ET.  The initial photo, dubbed Webb’s First Deep Field, is expected to look further back in time than any other image.

It’s becoming clearer and clearer that Fox’s cable propaganda network is moving far away from Donald Trump, knowing that he’s a cancer on their agenda, which appears to be the media outlet intent on eliminating all individual rights except for gun ownership.  Except for a few high-profile hosts and continuing Trump advisors like Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham that continue to preach cultishly about the glories of Orange Julius Ceasar, Fox has shifted to more damning coverage of Trump.

Stewart Rhodes, the cycloptic leader of the far-right ultranationalist group the Oath Keepers, attempted to cajole the group’s attorney to forward a letter to the White House calling on Donald Trump to invoke the Insurrection Act prior to the January 6th domestic terrorist attack on Congress aimed at overturning the November 2020 election results, NBC News reports.

In the letter dated December 14th, after states had already certified their election results, Rhodes called on Trump in an effort to get Trump to mobilize “millions of American military and law enforcement veterans, and many millions more loyal patriotic American gun owners stand ready to answer your call to arms, and to obey your orders to get this done.”

Rhodes asked Kellye SoRelle, who has declared herself the de facto leader of the Oath Keepers since Rhodes has been jailed on seditious conspiracy charges, to use her contacts through her work with Lawyers for Trump to get the letter to the White House, SoRelle reportedly testified to the House Select Committee investigating the January 6th attack.  SoRelle said her contacts included people working with either Rudy Giuliani or Sidney “The Kracken” Powell, as well as staffers inside the White House, although she was in contact with Donald Trump directly.

A Fulton County, Georgia judge on Monday told Senator Lindsey Graham to cut the bullshit and testify to the grand jury investigating the “Stop the Steal” crimes in the state, WSBTV reports.

Fulton County Superior Court Judge Robert McBurney ruled the dainty Senator is “a necessary and material witness” who must show up on the appointed date of August 2nd and explain why the fuck he called Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger in November 2020.

The border crisis of you sneaking into Pennsylvania from Jersey? https://t.co/uKFZOO7TfF

— Rep. Eric Swalwell (@RepSwalwell) July 11, 2022

A federal judge on Monday completely teabagged Nazi cirrhosis patient Steve Bannon’s “4D chess” plans for his upcoming trial on charges of criminal contempt of Congress, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports. Per Cheney, the judge effectively ruled that Bannon’s only defense that can be presented to the jury is that he somehow misunderstood the subpoena instructions, tossing out all the other bullshit and games Stevie had planned to play arguing about the House January 6th Select Committee’s legitimacy and believing Trump still had a legitimate claim of executive privilege.

Also denied was Bannon’s moronic, fanboy-hyped attempt to subpoena Nancy Pelosi and members of the select committee. So bad was the damage that Bannon lawyer Doug Schoen – famous for being a complete cock knob when defending Trump at his second impeachment trial – asked “What’s the point of going to trial if we don’t have any defenses?” Always a good sign when your $1,200 per hour attorney publicly says you might as well just save time and plead guilty.

Texas rancher finds migrants hiding on her property: 'We are being invaded' https://t.co/NBfgEOJtwq

— Fox News (@FoxNews) July 11, 2022

Fox News on Monday reported a very sad woman’s story about migrants “hiding” on her ranch which is technically accurate because she’s the one hiding them from state and federal authorities by paying them cash to feed her cattle, maintain the fences around the range, and other various tasks involved with maintaining and breeding livestock. It’s a labor-intensive industry and she, just like Truth Social CEO Devin Nunes, understands that sometimes it’s tough to find willing and able help to stay profitable, irrespective of their immigration status. She should however stop fucking acting like that isn’t exactly what’s going on at her ranch instead of pouting to “Fox and Friends” on her webcam as if those people aren’t “hiding” there because she hired them.