Three new Russian crew members of the International Space Station showed up for work on Friday wearing… not the colors their President would want them wearing, Space.com reports. Cosmonauts Oleg Artemyev, Denis Matveev and Sergey Korsakov did not officially acknowledge they were dressed in the blue and yellow of the Ukrainian flag, with Artemyev telling a webcast audience they had a surplus of yellow uniform fabric at the Cosmodrome, but that’s pretty obviously bullshit. If they didn’t want people to think they were secretly sending a message of support for Ukraine against their own nation’s leader then they would not be wearing those colors.

The fallout inside the Kremlin from the Russian military’s shitshow in Ukraine is just getting started, with more heads set to roll even after the FSB foreign intel division chief and his deputy were placed under house arrest for telling Putin what he wanted to hear and the invasion would be a breeze, the Wall Street Journal reports. “It is hard to imagine some senior intelligence person talking with Putin and not telling Putin what he wants to hear, especially if it is a belief that is deeply held, like Putin’s beliefs about Ukraine,” said former CIA and National Security Council Jeffrey Edmonds, who specialized in the region. “When it comes to this guy, it’s also clear that the culture of ‘someone is at fault and is going to pay’ is clearly still operative.”

Putin is also reportedly pissed at the agencies for leaks – some of which were publicized loud and clear by US leadership – which undermined whatever element of surprise Russian forces had and for failing to cultivate any fifth columnists inside Ukraine capable of softening defenses there.

Twenty-five term Republican Alaska Congressman Don Young has died at the age of 88, the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner reports.  He was the oldest serving member in the House and Senate, having been Alaska’s sole House representative for 50 years.

Young’s office said that he died while traveling back to Alaska with his wife.  No specifics were released on how the Youngs were traveling at the time of his death.

• Volodymyr Zelenskyy knows American history better than most Congressional Republicans.
• Joe Biden had a call with the Ukrainian president and didn’t ask for a favor, something Republicans said was a necessity for the President of the United States.
• Under its new election rigging laws, Texas rejected more than 27,000 ballots in its primaries, a record.  Most of those were for Republican voters, which will not go over well at Party meetings after someone had to use a provisional ballot.
• “Inflation is terrible!  Americans are suffering!  Food prices are skyrocketing!  Biden is cutting your income!  Everything is horrible!  But give me your money so I can buy a private jetliner so I don’t have to mix with you commoners at airports!”  And sadly, people will.  

Officials in South Carolina announced the state has established the protocols needed to reintroduce firing squads as a means of execution for condemned prisoners, becoming the fourth states where it is allowed, Reuters reports.

Prisoners can chose between electrocution, lethal injection (when possible based on drug availability) or firing squad for their deaths, with the electric chair being the default method.

Mississippi, Oklahoma and Utah are the other states where firing squads can execute prisoners, and Utah is the only one which has used the method, with three condemned prisoners choosing firing squad since 1976.

Punk Josh Mandel, who’s running for office seemingly solely on his ability to be obnoxious nonstop, literally got into the face of Mike Gibbons, the frontrunner in a tight race, during a GOP debate between Ohio Senate candidates.  Gibbons has steadily led the race, with Mandel being the Trump-inspired candidate whom Trump hates, perhaps because of behavior like this.

Gredge Jerline Pyro wants everyone, including Leon Polenta, [sic] to be called for a Benghazi hearing–again– because something something Hunter’s laptop.

Pirro continues to address the camera on her panel show, The Five, on Fox, apparently unable to come to terms with her (allegedly) excessive drinking and outsized ego.

Hunter Biden’s laptop was real.
The emails were real.
The eyewitness was real.

The only think fake? The news.

— Rep. Jim Jordan (@Jim_Jordan) March 18, 2022

European leaders are looking at how to use the proceeds from sales of yachts, real estate, private jets, etc seized from Russian oligarchs to fund aid for Ukraine, Bloomberg’s Jennifer Jacobs reports.

Republican Ohio state lawmakers have had enough of Conservative state Supreme Court Chief Justice Maureen O’Connor blocking their plan for the state’s 2022 Congressional district map and are looking to impeach her, the Columbus Dispatch reports. Three times now has O’Connor sided with the three Democrats on the state Supreme Court, forcing the state to postpone the US House primaries that had been scheduled for May 3rd. It’s unclear how much support there is for removing O’Connor, she’s age-limited and will leave the bench at the end of the year, but if every Republican were to vote to remove her she would be gone easily. Gov Mike DeWine is not on board however. “No matter what we think of that (redistricting) opinion, this is an extraordinary measure to take,” said DeWine. “I don’t think we want to go down that pathway because we disagree with a decision by a court, because we disagree with a decision by an individual judge or justice – not a good idea.”

“My name is Eric Early and I’m running for California Attorney General,” the generic Republican middle aged white guy says in a campaign ad.  “I’m supported in this race by the great people who own and run One American News Network, and by incredible patriots all around California and our nation.  This race, to run the ‘woke’ out of California government can be won.”

Not by a guy who promotes his OAN endorsement, it won’t.

Burger King is having a hard time following McDonald’s and KFC/Pizza Hut’s lead in exiting the Russian market due to the refusal of a local business partner to close up about 800 locations he controls in the country, CNN Business reports. In contrast with McD’s, which wholly owns about 80% of its locations in Russia and as such could close up shop more or less unilaterally while pulling support for the remaining franchisees, Burger King’s corporate parent Restaurant Brands International Inc has only about a 15% stake in the brand’s operations there, with the rest controlled by oligarch Alexander Kolobov and his backers, with Kolobov overseeing day-to-day operations.

“There are no legal clauses that allow us to unilaterally change the contract or allow any one of the partners to simply walk away or overturn the entire agreement. No serious investor in any industry in the world would agree to a long-term business relationship with flimsy termination clauses,” wrote Restaurant Brands International operations president David Shear in an open letter.

While there’s no reason to doubt the situation is as Shear described, it’s hard not to see it how Burger King is having it their way – both ways. They get to publicly say “Hey, this is out of our hands, we want to leave Russia ASAP” but it’s buying them time after which – if there is a diplomatic solution found within the next few weeks – they’re much better positioned to walk it back and leave their brand more or less intact in Russia while McDonald’s there are converted to “Uncle Vanya’s” locations. Shame that we might never see what the “Burger Czar” logo would look like though.

“President Joseph R. Biden, Jr. spoke today with President Xi Jinping of the People’s Republic of China (PRC). The conversation focused on Russia’s unprovoked invasion of Ukraine. President Biden outlined the views of the United States and our Allies and partners on this crisis. President Biden detailed our efforts to prevent and then respond to the invasion, including by imposing costs on Russia. He described the implications and consequences if China provides material support to Russia as it conducts brutal attacks against Ukrainian cities and civilians.”

“The President underscored his support for a diplomatic resolution to the crisis. The two leaders also agreed on the importance of maintaining open lines of communication, to manage the competition between our two countries. The President reiterated that U.S. policy on Taiwan has not changed, and emphasized that the United States continues to oppose any unilateral changes to the status quo. The two leaders tasked their teams to follow up on today’s conversation in the critical period ahead” – White House readout of Biden-Xi call on Friday.

So…AIPAC is now endorsing & donating to Republicans who voted to overturn the US election on Jan 6th because, according to their statement, it’s more OK to dismantle US democracy than it is to question if US tax dollars should fund detention & abuse of Palestinian kids.

Got it. https://t.co/5SY5JY9Vd9

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) March 18, 2022

The headline’s sarcastic, in case you couldn’t tell.

“What’s going to happen up here in DC: Black Lives Matter Street, we’re gonna take it back. All that paint’s coming off that street… It’s gonna get tar and feathered,” said an unidentified Clustertrucker on stage at the Hagerstown, MD staging site, to cheers from the crowd.

When asked by a reporter Friday for comment on MAGA Bro Congressman Madison Cawthorn’s recent comments calling Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky a “thug” and if he supports Cawthorn’s reelection, House Minority Leader Kevin “The Cuck” McCarthy answers saying Cawthorn is wrong and lists off the horrible crimes Putin has wrought against the Ukrainian people – without answering the question of whether or not he supports Cawthorn’s reelection.

When asked again if he still supports Cawthorn, McCarthy says “Yes” and calls on the next reporter.

The Orange Warlord is about to un-endorse far-right Congressman Mo Brooks’ Alabama GOP Senate primary bid after twice this week Brooks told reporters there’s no way the 2020 election can be overturned and the MAGA Reich be restored to the White House, CNN reports. Trump already earlier this week had told the Washington Examiner he was considering pulling the endorsement as Brooks has consistently trailed frontrunners Katie Britt – Chief of Staff to current Senator Richard Shelby – and businessman/former US Army Blackhawk pilot Mike Durant, but Brooks apparently fucked himself with back-to-back interviews in which he’d acknowledged reality.

“I am baffled by the view that we can do something right now to put Donald Trump into office today,” said Brooks in a Thursday interview with a local radio station, a day after he told AL.com whoever is telling Trump he can be reinstated is “misleading” the fat orange degenerate. The Donald reportedly began souring on Brooks after he was booed at the August 2021 Alabama MAGA rally for asking the cultists gathered to try to put the 2020 election behind them, per CNN.

“I would hate for anyone to get their hopes up thinking that President Trump is going to be back in the White House in August because that’s not true and I’m telling you that as a member of Congress, that’s a very difficult thing to do,” said not Mo Brooks, but Marjorie Taylor Greene on Steve Bannon’s podcast back in July 2021, which makes this whole shitshow even funnier. There’s almost no way when the QAdulteress also debunked it nine months ago when the “August 13th reinstatement” fantasy was all the rage, that it didn’t get back to Trump. Yet he said nothing, probably because he’s kind of afraid of Greene, while Mo Brooks he can smack around all he wants.

The most recent post on the “Updates” section at FreedomPhone.com was on January 5th, 2022, a review of the site’s content revealed Friday. The FreedomPhone, a $120 Chinese budget model Android with some of its software changed to make it more freedom-y and justify charging MAGA dumbasses $500 each, has had a bumpy launch that started with a shit ton of hype from right wing media personalities before fading into the aether as backorders piled up and people’s attention drifted toward other shitty Conservative tech products. Stay tuned to National Zero as we check again to see if they’re out of business yet in four or five months from now.

Russian President Vladimir Putin was uncharacteristically cut off during a supposedly live broadcast of a rally at a Moscow sports stadium marking the 8th anniversary of Russia’s invasion of Crimea.  Putin was shown addressing the crowd, which Moscow police said numbered 200,000 between the people in the stadium and those surrounding it, and then suddenly the broadcast flips, mid-speech, to the middle of a song sung by a performer, with Putin no where to be seen.

A Ukrainian counteroffensive has decisively pushed Russian forces out of Black Sea port city Mykolaiv, allowing businesses and public transportation to reopen and serve the town’s nearly half-million residents after weeks of constant shelling, the Wall Street Journal reports. “The Russians expected they would breeze into town, that everyone would welcome them, and that nobody would try to stop them. It didn’t turn out that way,” said Mykolaiv Go. Vitaliy Kim, who now drives around in a Russian armored vehicle repainted with the Ukrainian flag. “It’s quiet in Mykolaiv because they are too busy defending their own positions, shooting at our forces that are attacking them instead of shooting at the city. We have pushed them away from the city and keep moving ahead,” Kim said.