“Today we sent another letter to Putin asking for an interview.  We hope we get it,” guy trying to do a “Jeff Daniels in ‘Newsroom'” syncopated voice Tucker Carlson says.  “We also sent a message to the President of Ukraine.  We would like that interview, too.  Neither one of these men runs a democracy.  By traditional American standards, both of them are tyrants.”

Except the Ukrainian government is a democracy, with a democratically-elected President, who won in a free and fair election where none of the opponents ingested polonium.  But sure, they’re both tyrannies, Tuckems.

Gun rights legislation that allowed people to shoot first when they feel scared that was enacted by many states in the past decade can be directly linked to an 11% increase in the number of homicides by gun, a new study reported by the Washington Post finds.

“Stand Your Ground” legislation, as it is known, became the lynchpin of a multi-state attack by the far-right lobbying group known as ALEC, the American Legislative Exchange Council.  The laws basically remove any requirement for people to retreat when threatened instead of immediately firing their firearm.  Also, they lower the standard for use of a weapon, from a real threat to any perceived threat.

In a report published Monday in JAMA Network Open, researchers found that more than 700 deaths annually since 2012, the year Trayvon Martin was killed by George Zimmerman.  The study found most of those deaths happened in the South, which adopted Stand Your Ground laws early and where gun possession is encouraged by the GOP.

Congrats to Mr. Gordell Waller and stop day drinking to whoever signed that check for him.

It’s nice to have a president who can walk and chew gum at the same time.  With a booming economy and tension in eastern Europe, President Joe Biden has begun interviewing potential candidates for the upcoming Supreme Court vacancy, Reuters reports.

While no individuals have been identified, Biden has promised to appoint the first Black woman to a Supreme Court seat, outraging conservatives who claim Biden is racist.

Justice Stephen Breyer announced his retirement, effective at the end of this Court session and assuming a replacement is approved by the Senate.

Medina Spirit, the 2021 Kentucky Derby winner known as the Lance Armstrong of horses for his doping and cheating ways, was posthumously stripped of his title by the state racing commission Monday, nearly 3 months after his sudden death while horsing around in California, WDRB reports. Second place horse Mandaloun, who is probably still alive, was awarded the win retroactively.

Though the controversy officially ends here and Medina Spirit has been laid to rest in a glue factory, an undeniable shadow has been cast over the sport of racing. Long known for the wholesomeness of its fans who watch simply for the excitement, the humane treatment of its athletes, and the strong tradition of integrity in the conduct of its team management and commissioners, there are no doubt still some worms crawling around in the system here. There’s a miracle paste for that.

Place: Federal Court

Day: 2/22/2022

Forecast: the wrath of the gods will rain down. Plus 14-mph winds.

Case: Carroll v. Trump

Attorneys: Greatest Civil Rights Lawyers in America—Robbie Kaplan and Joshua Matz

Argument: Trump is asking to amend his answer so he can sue me.

— E. Jean Carroll (@ejeancarroll) February 21, 2022

When responding to a recent Wason Center poll’s question of “Do you support or oppose a government BAN on the teaching of Critical Race Theory in Virginia public schools?” 57% of Virginia voters said they either “Strongly oppose” (36%) or “Oppose” (21%) to 35% who said they “Strongly support” (21%) or “Support” (14%), which kind of sucks for Glenn Youngkin, considering he was supposed to have won on that completely made-up issue. He was like Mr. Anti-Critical Race Theory. Yougkin’s approval rating is also a lousy 41%, the same as Joe Biden’s in the state.

CONFIRMED: @TulsiGabbard pic.twitter.com/HxRCII5Pxu

— CPAC (@CPAC) February 21, 2022

Gabbard’s American Conservative Union scorecard lifetime rating of 7.61% before she left is higher than most Dems in Congress, but not by much. For example, Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, a favorite boogeywoman of right wing media, scored a 5.49% as of 2020. Gabbard also called Trump “Saudi Arabia’s bitch” back in 2018, but hey, by all means have fun hearing her speak at your cult show.

Michigan “election fraud” expert Mellissa Carone, famous for her testimony at a December 2020 state legislative hearing on the election and for her “expertise” on Coronavirus vaccines is still waiting to hear back from her Orange Lord and Savior on whether or not he’ll endorse her run for the Michigan state House, Politico reports in a profile of the convicted sexual harasser.

“[The 2020 election] pushed me into politics, for sure,” Carone told Politico about her run. “To be honest with you, I never thought of running for office… [but] our legislators are doing nothing for us. We hold a Republican majority in Michigan, and you would think it was the opposite. If we get the right people elected, we will not have these [voting] machines in Michigan. I know one legislator can’t say, you know, I’m going to get rid of the machines all by myself. I know it doesn’t work that way. But if we get the right people elected, we can do that,” said the drunken maniac.

Carone launched her political career on “pretending to have some sort of ‘insider’s knowledge’ regarding Dominion’s business activities, when in reality you were hired through a staffing agency for one day to clean glass on machines and complete other menial tasks,” per a December 2020 cease and desist letter from Dominion Voting Systems. Fake it til you make it, as they say.

Happy Presidents’ Day! pic.twitter.com/8lanpKXO10

— GOP (@GOP) February 21, 2022

The Russian military said Monday they had killed five “saboteurs” who had crossed the border from Ukraine into the Rostov region, AFP reports. “As a result of clashes, five people who violated the Russian border from a group of saboteurs were killed,” said a Russian military statement, written as if we’re fucking stupid enough to believe this. How many of these lame false flags do they need before they feel like they’ve justified it to themselves to attack Ukraine?

Screenshot of National Zero’s place in line to join and then get banned from Trump’s new Twitter clone Truth Social. We’ve apparently had better luck than others getting into the app however, as CNET reports many would-be users got a “Something went wrong. Please try again,” instead.

Following reports that President Biden had on Sunday agreed “in principle” to a summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin brokered by French President Emmanuel Macron, the Kremlin on Monday warned there’s not much appetite on their side for high-level diplomacy, AFP reports. “It’s premature to talk about any specific plans for organising any kind of summits” and no “concrete plans” had been put together, said Putin spokesworm Dmitry Peskov.

The Biden administration have drafted a package of sanctions against Russia that includes barring American companies from processing transactions from Russian banks if Putin’s regime moves forward on attacking Ukraine, Reuters reports. Russian companies and individuals could also be placed on the Specially Designated Nationals (SDN) list, which bans them from the US banking system and freezes any and all American assets.

Is Liz back on the market?  Tongues are wagging that the newly single nonagenarian Queen Elizabeth II may have caught the coronavirus from that teen heartthrob who’d be nothing without AutoTune Justin Bieber, who also reported testing positive Saturday, causing a delay of his sorta-expected Las Vegas show.

Liz’s symptoms are said to be mild–except for her perpetual Holy Handbag Hotness!  Did the Queen fly to Sin City for the infection, or was the Beebs in Buckingham Palace?  Literally no one is asking that.

“The media would rather tell you lies about people like us, call us all kinds of horrible names, present some character of us that is not even true so that people will keep thinking bad things about us, but they don’t want to tell the truth,” QAnon Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene tell people as she stands next to Madison Cawthorn and a couple other white guys.  “Uh, so many stories, like the truth about what is actually happening in our country, but yet they’d rather talk about Russia, Russia, Russia and Ukraine and talk about possible war then talk about the real truth that Ukraine–don’t forget this–Ukraine was the number one donor to Hillary Clinton when she was running for president.”

That, of course, is an absurd lie.

French President Emmanuel Macron negotiated a summit meeting between US President Joe Biden and Russian President Vladimir Putin to discuss how to deescalate the Ukraine situation, an announcement from the French president’s office stated, reports Reuters.

“Presidents Biden and Putin have both accepted the principle of such a summit.  The substance will have to be prepared by Secretary Blinken and Minister Lavrov during their meeting on Thursday 24 February.  It can only be held at the condition that Russia does not invade Ukraine,” Macron’s office said.

“My long-term accounting firm didn’t leave me for any other reason than they were harassed, abused, and frightened by DA’s and AG’s that for years have been threatening them with indictment and ruination. They were ‘broken’ by these Radical Left racist prosecutors, and couldn’t take it anymore. Even the letter they sent stated, ‘Mazars performed its work in accordance with professional standards. A subsequent review of those work papers confirms this.’ Further, their disclaimer clause in the financial statements has for years stated much the same. My company is incredible with some of the greatest assets in the world and very low debt. Also, we’re loaded with cash. The Fake News Media hates talking about it!” says the Orange God Emperor.

The sister and brother-in-law of notorious Ponzi-schemer Bernie Madoff were found dead in Boynton Beach, Florida from an apparent murder-suicide, the Associated Press reports.

87-year-old Sondra Wiener and her 90-year-old husband, Marvin, were found dead of gunshots in their home.  “Detectives from the Violent Crimes Division arrived on scene to investigate further. After further investigation it appears to be a murder/suicide,” the Sheriff’s Office statement said.

Bernie Madoff was sentenced to more than a century in jail for an extensive Ponzi scheme that defrauded investors of hundreds of millions of dollars.  He died in prison last year.

“According to media sources, there have been threats of attacks against shopping centers, railway and metro stations, and other public gathering places in major urban areas, including Moscow and St. Petersburg as well as in areas of heightened tension along the Russian border with Ukraine. Monitor local and international media for updates. Avoid crowds. Notify friends and family of your safety. Be aware of your surroundings. Stay alert in locations frequented by tourists/Westerners. Review your personal security plans. Carry proper identification, including a U.S. passport with a current Russian visa. Have evacuation plans that do not rely on U.S. government assistance” says a US Embassy in Moscow Bulletin to American citizens within the country. Holy shit.