Surprising no one, staffers and lawyers at the Justice Department are, with technically eight hours to go until they have to release the documents, still working on redacting the Epstein files, CNN reports without being more specific about what is being redacted beyond victims’ names/identities.

Though this is worth flagging: “A substantial number of redactions are needed, one of the sources said, and the documents each attorney is processing since Thanksgiving week can number more than 1,000 – a time-consuming task that likely will come down to the wire. The sensitivities of executive and legal privacy, victims’ protections and other concerns all could play in to the choices the lawyers must make when it comes to potential redactions,” emphasis added on “executive.”

Which “executive” are we talking about here? Why does he merit any privacy in this situation?

In related news earlier this week Fox News reported that the House GOP is floating around a talking points memo that reads “Throughout the Oversight Committee’s review of the federal government’s handling of the Epstein and Maxwell criminal investigations, Democrats have demonstrated a sustained pattern of misconduct – misrepresenting witness testimony, selectively leaking cherry-picked documents, and manipulating emails and images – to fabricate yet another politically motivated hoax targeting President Trump. As a result, nothing Democrats post or leak on this matter can be taken at face value,” almost as though they’re bracing for some really damning shit.

Sources tell CBS News that cops in Providence, Rhode Island have identified a person of interest in the shooting that killed two students and injured nine others at Brown University last weekend. The individual is still being sought. No word yet on any connection to the murder of an MIT nuclear science professor in Brookline, Massachusetts though police are looking into that too.

“I have just been informed that the highly respected Board of the Kennedy Center, some of the most successful people from all parts of the world, have just voted unanimously to rename the Kennedy Center to the Trump-Kennedy Center, because of the unbelievable work President Trump has done over the last year in saving the building. Not only from the standpoint of its reconstruction, but also financially, and its reputation. Congratulations to President Donald J Trump, and likewise, congratulations to President Kennedy, because this will be a truly great team long into the future!”

“The building will no doubt attain new levels of success and grandeur,” the information minister tweeted on Thursday. With that transmission concluded, citizens are now urged to resume their labor producing goods and services crucial to meeting quotas and sustaining our current economic prosperity, the goal ever more important as the nation prepares to enter a turbulent and lengthy period of shared sacrifice and suffering that will be experienced by most classes.

The Great Leader’s love will provide spiritual endurance for those who will suffer during this period in which a New Leap Forward will be achieved. “Divisive” elements of the culture can expect increased scrutiny and consequences of their continued spiritual subversion of the Great Leader’s vision for our nation. Updated mandates will be transmitted to party functionaries on how best to identify and quarantine these elements. The Ministry of Information instructs all to await this guidance.

Brazilian President Luiz Lula said thanks for the suggestion but fuck off on Thursday after the country’s senate passed a bill that would lop 20 years off of convicted felon former President Jair Bolsonaro’s 27 year bid following his conviction on his 2022 coup attempt, the AP reports.

“With all due respect to the National Congress, when it reaches my desk, I will veto it,” Lula told reporters, adding that those who sought to destroy democracy “will have to pay for their acts.”

And before you say it, just cheer up and remember that Bolsonaro’s former friend in Washington is worried he could face trial at the Hague after 2029. No self-pardons for ICC war crimes charges.

The Champion Forest Baptist Church’s annual Christmas Spectacular in Houston, Texas have decided to dial back on the whole marching live animals down the aisles component of the performance after one of the actors, a camel, decided to kick a female audience member in the head and rendering her unconscious during one of the shows this month, NBC News reports.

Church spokesman Steve Miori acknowledged in a statement that “an unexpected incident occurred when a camel used in the production struck a guest in the audience. Champion Forest regrets that this happened. Our team responded immediately, and emergency services were engaged,” Miori added, saying the church has remained in contact with the family. The brevity of the reporting suggests that the woman’s injuries were not especially serious. It also omits any specific reason why the fuck this church needed a live camel to do the job that two actors and a decent costume could.

Who need context here? It’s not like it’s going to do them any good anyway. Probably worse.

“It’s a holiday miracle for Taco Bell fans: Starting on December 18, the iconic Quesarito is officially returning to menus nationwide for a limited time, thanks in part to a basketball star who’s never tried it. To make amends for one of the most unexpected internet moments of the last decade, Taco Bell is calling on three-time MVP and Denver Nuggets center, Nikola Jokić – whose 2014 draft announcement famously aired during a Quesarito commercial – to finally try Taco Bell and the Quesarito for the very first time. The accidental overlap has since become a viral chapter in sports and Taco Bell lore. Now, Taco Bell is embracing the moment fans made famous, calling on Jokić to finally settle the score and offering a friendly apology for the coincidence that paired the Quesarito’s ad with his draft moment,” says the Big Bell in a press release heralding this most blessed miracle.

“The Quesarito’s bold build helped define an era of Taco Bell innovation, becoming one of the brand’s most talked-about mashups and a staple order for an entire generation of fans. It’s back on menus for $4.99*, but the first 30,000 Taco Bell Rewards Members can score a $1 Quesarito during a special Tuesday Drop on December 23 at 2 pm PT – exclusively in the Taco Bell app**,” the release continued, the asterisks denoting that it will be closer to $8.99 in certain markets because of what we understand to be Joe Biden’s policies preventing Trump from making Taco Bell more affordable.

“The Holy Father has accepted the resignation from the pastoral care of the metropolitan archdiocese of New York, United States of America, presented by His Eminence Cardinal Timothy M Dolan. The Holy Father has appointed Bishop Ronald A Hicks as metropolitan archbishop of New York, United States of America, transferring him from the diocese of Joliet in Illinois, United States of America,” said the Vatican in an announcement on Thursday, closing the book on Dolan’s career.

At first glance some might take issue with “fires” in the headline when the announcement made it sound like Dolan did this of his own volition. The truth isn’t all that difficult to understand though: When every bishop turns 75 they’re required to submit a letter of resignation to the Pope, which Dolan did when he reached that age on February 6th, sending it to the now-late Pope Francis. The acceptance of the resignation then becomes a matter of the boss’s discretion – up until a cardinal turns 80 and retirement becomes mandatory. Francis chose not to exercise it with Dolan, possibly due to indisposition and declining health being obviously a bigger deal in Francis’s final weeks.

It’s harder to come up with a more charitable read of why Francis’s successor Leo XIV pulled the trigger on Dolan, now only the fourth cardinal between 75 and 79 to be canned since Leo’s ascendance. About 40 percent of all the currently serving cardinals are in that age range and a gentleman’s agreement from 1983 that the 75-79s be allowed to continue was honored to varying degrees by Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI. Maybe Leo XIV is cleaning house and it’s simply a human resources matter of screening the right successors for the 40-odd cardinals in that range.

"I was surprised. It was a better number than anyone was expecting," says Harvard Professor of Economics Ken Rogoff on November inflation coming in WAY BELOW expectations.

"It was positive news — there's no other way to spin it." pic.twitter.com/ZtAIBek5z3

— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) December 18, 2025

Fuck yeah! Cry more libtards! The RAPID RESPONSE to the lower-than-expected inflation numbers is just another WIN for PRESIDENT TRUMP! That’s 2 point 7 percent you Marxists! MAGA!

Prosecutors in Germany on Thursday announced attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, and grievous bodily harm charges will be brought against eight suspects, at least five of them between 14 and 21 years old, after their plot to carry out arson and bomb attacks on foreign asylum-seekers’ homes and left-wing institutions was foiled by cops earlier this year, the AP reports.

The group, who call themselves the “Last Defense Wave” and regarding themselves as the “final authority” for defending the “German nation,” were not merely shitposting antisemitic and pro-Nazi memes (though they did that too, per German media), but have been implicated in a handful of largely failed attacks. An arson attack on a cultural center in Altdobern in the state of Brandenburg that resulted in no injuries was the most notable of which though the group have been connected to a series of beatings and robberies, according to prosecutors. It’s not clear if Marco Rubio will again push back at German “establishment” tyranny toward political outsiders.

In an internal email obtained by Reuters this week, a Trump Regime deputy assistant HHS secretary earlier this month suggested that the book “Donald Trump Biography for Kids: An Inspirational Story of One of America’s Most Famous Presidents” – plus another junior reader bio of murderous tyrant Andrew Jackson – should be included in a welcome packet for the children of Afrikaner refugees being granted asylum in the US from a fake genocide wrought by South Africa’s Black majority.

“I imagine these books wouldn’t be an issue?” RFK Jr minion Fred Cooper wrote in the internal email addressed to an unidentified other official. The price was not disclosed thought the book is listed for $12.95 in paperback or $23.95 hardcover on Amazon. The exact title of the Jackson book for children was not mentioned in the Reuters article so no ballpark of a price point could be made.

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries was incensed, tweeting “This should be a straight yes or no answer from the White House: are taxpayers paying for copies of this book to be handed out to Afrikaners?” Oops that was actually then-House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy on April 26, 2021 tweeting “This should be a straight yes or no answer from the White House: are taxpayers paying for copies of the Vice President’s book to be handed out at migrant shelters?” after the New York Post reported that then-Vice President Kamala Harris’s children’s book “Superheroes Are Everywhere” was being added to every welcome pack for unaccompanied minor Latin American asylees.

As they are wont to do, Politico Playbook tried to be gentle when reviewing convicted felon President Trump’s panicky, lie-filled Wednesday night speech, writing ” It wasn’t his best performance, the ticking clock seeming to play on the president’s mind. He rushed through it. As a result, he came across a little shouty, and the whole thing lacked the humor and the charm Trump can offer up at his best… More importantly, this was still just a concise version of the half-angry, half-triumphant message Trump has given us through the second half of this year.”

“There was little empathy that things are really hard right now for millions of Americans and no plea to stick with him through the tough times while he finishes the job. If this is the best Trump can muster, he’d better hope the economy picks up fast in 2026,” they continued.

The thing with “cringe” is that it isn’t exactly new to on-screen comedic productions in the 21st century. Social awkwardness, self-unawareness, faux pas, and so on have always been staples to getting laughs out of audiences. But like “gross-out,” “slapstick,” “frat house,” and so on, “cringe comedy” became the term for the quasi-subgenre in recent decades largely thanks to Steve Carrell’s iconic character Michael Scott from NBC’s The Office. He REALLY made scenes simply agonizingly uncomfortable to sit through, his “best” moments on par with the worst in horror films.

One might wonder if at some point over the last few days that the concept crossed the mind of actor/comedian Bill Hader following his experience at Conan O’Brien’s Christmas party on Saturday night. Separate reporting from the Wall Street Journal, Entertainment Weekly, and the Hollywood Reporter together paint a pretty cringey picture of a 32 year-old man being dragged to the party by his parents who could not leave him home alone that night. The man, Nick Reiner, was not invited but O’Brien kindly accommodated his parents, Rob and Michele Reiner, when they asked if they could bring him. O’Brien didn’t really announce it though, and the A-listers present who noticed him were questioning whether the 6 ft 3, 320 lbs Nick had simply wandered in off the street somehow.

Then things got cringier. Nick wandered around the party, asking guests – some of whom he’d already been introduced to – their names and if they were “famous.” Yet it wasn’t cringey enough for Nick who then approached Hader as the comedian was chatting with another guest, asking him the same question. Hader then calmly told Nick that it was a private conversation he’d been interrupting, to which the deranged failson stared silently and menacingly at Hader for a cringey amount of time.

The Trump Regime has ordered USCIS to “supply Office of Immigration Litigation with 100-200 denaturalization cases per month” in 2026 as part of a test plan to fuck over immigrants at will, the New York Times reports on more of Stephen Miller’s small dick energy.

Jeffrey Epstein friend/client Alan Dershowitz tells the Wall Street Journal that on Tuesday he met with other Jeffrey Epstein friend/client Donald Trump at the White House and showed the president a draft of Dersh’s upcoming book “Could President Trump Constitutionally Serve a Third Term?” as though the fat fuck would actually have the attention span necessary to read such a tome.

“I said ‘it’s not clear if a president can become a third term president and it’s not clear if it’s permissible,’” said OJ Simpson’s former defense lawyer, adding “He found it interesting as an intellectual issue. Do I think he’s going to run for a third term? No, I don’t think he will.”

Dersh did not then elaborate on what the fucking point was of writing this stupid book, set to hit stores next year, is if it’s not just some bullshit aimed at suckering MAGA idiots for a few bucks.

TECH TRAP: Former Texas teacher Matthan Lough is charged with grooming a 17-year-old after investigators say they found an AI-generated “manipulation plan” outlining steps to control his victim.https://t.co/InuAFoBbsp

— Fox News (@FoxNews) December 17, 2025

“Raphael Warnock was on Meet the Fake Press with a one sided and very biased Kristen Welker as the Host(ess!). Warnock spent the entire show using Religion to try and divide the Country! If a Republican, in particular ME, made those statements, it would be FRONT PAGE NEWS. He ended by saying that he was going to his Church to preach now, and while I think that’s fine, I do say, ‘What ever happened to separation of Church and State?’ That would be the first thing they would use against us but, actually, it’s something that never much bothered me. Anyway, Warnock is a LIGHTWEIGHT whose wife correctly states that he tried to run her over with a car. Fortunately, she was able to get out of the way, and only almost lost her foot. Warnock is a bad guy, and NBC News, which is second only to ABC Fake News for being the worst, should be ashamed of themselves in allowing garbage ‘interviews’ with untalented and uncaring people to take place.”

“The Public airwaves, which these Networks are using at no charge, should not be allowed to get away with this any longer! They should be properly licensed, and pay significant amounts of money for using this very valuable Public space. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAGA!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday as usual fucking stupid enough to question whether a man of the cloth can hold elected office in the United States. Republicans Senator Senator James Lankford and Congressman Tim Walberg are ordained ministers so Trump should have some layman candidates primary them if the “Church and State” thing is such a dealbreaker for him.

Then there’s the “airwaves” rant, which isn’t new. Maybe he should just stop being such a cunt.