The Dow Jones Industrial Average on Friday closed down 770 points at 42,197.79, the S&P 500 down 68.29 points at 5,976.97, the Nasdaq down 255.66 at 19,406.83 and Brent crude up 7 percent to $74.23 a barrel, all because Israel started bombing Iran and Trump was too weak to stop it. Sad.

“The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and the FBI are offering a $10,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the four criminal illegal aliens who escaped from Delaney Hall Detention Facility in New Jersey. The safety of Americans and the Newark community is the DHS’ top priority. ‘DHS has become aware of four detainees at the privately held Delaney Hall Detention Facility escaping. Additional law enforcement partners have been brought in to find these escapees and a BOLO has been disseminated,’ said a Senior DHS Official. ‘We encourage the public to call 911 or the ICE Tip Line: 866-DHS-2-ICE if they have information that may lead to the locating of these individuals. DHS and the FBI are offering a $10,000 reward for any information that leads to the arrest of these public safety threats,'” says cheap-ass Kristi Noem’s Department of Homeland Security in a press release. It doesn’t say $10,000 each, so it’s probably $2,500 if you get one.

“On June 12, four criminal illegal aliens breached security at Delaney Hall. Contrary to current reporting, there has been no widespread unrest at the Delaney Hall Detention facility. This privately held facility remains dedicated to providing high-quality services, including include around-the-clock access to medical care, in-person and virtual legal and family visitation, general and legal library access, translation services, dietician-approved meals, religious and specialty diets, recreational amenities, and opportunities to practice their religious beliefs,” the press release continued as if to say “Why would they ever want to escape? This place is GREAT, so much better these ‘Dangerous Criminal Illegal Aliens’ deserve! Such ungrateful little punk-ass bastards.”

🚨BREAKING: Rep. Anna Paulina Luna announces George Soros and Neville Singham are being called in to testify over funding leftist riots and radical political groups:

"Soros.. Singham.. A letter going out.. Testify or you will be subpoenaed. Ignore that and you will go to jail." pic.twitter.com/5WOG9YJTjy

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) June 13, 2025

No, Indian-British woman Bhoomi Chauhan is not a real-life version of a Final Destination movie protagonist, no matter what you might think when you read about her Thursday in the BBC.

First off, she was traveling alone. A canonical Final Destination movie’s plot would mean that she would’ve had to have friends with her to die horribly one by one before she did or at the very least have somehow also prevented about five or six strangers from getting on the flight too. That seems unlikely. Second and more importantly than the first actually, she never made it on board Air India Flight 171. She would’ve needed to be on the plane and have a premonition before takeoff and then get off and see it crash. Chauhan just got stuck in traffic, argued with the check-in agents, got really pissed, and it took too long for her to get through security, only to miss her flight by 10 minutes.

So no, death is not stalking her now that she cheated it through a random psychic premonition and then there’s this whole 90 minutes of increasingly elaborate and gruesome fatal accidents involving lawnmowers and buses and tanning beds – and that fire escape ladder shit was brutal – until she either finds some way to cheat death or she doesn’t. Don’t be silly. It was just traffic that saved her.

This is why nobody can have nice things. The New Hampshire Bulletin reports that Republicans in the Granite State’s Senate – 16R to 8D – have scrapped their own Medicaaid prescription bill after the MAGA clowns in the House – 220 R, 177 D, 2 I – did what you already guessed from the headline.

The stupid story begins with current law that requires the state’s Medicaid program to purchase only generic versions, if available, of prescription drugs. SB119’s was meant to save taxpayers money by allowing the state to purchase brand name drugs for Medicaid recipients when they’re cheaper than the generics, which happens sometimes. Probably by design too because Big Pharma never misses an opportunity for maximize shareholder value. The state Senate passed it easily and sent it down to the House, where it was promptly amended to also make ivermectin an over-the-counter drug not requiring a prescription. The amendment meant the state Senate would have to vote on it again to approve the bill. They did not and now it’s as dead as ivermectin fans flat-earther Mark Parhar, Pennsylvania man Keith Smith, ivermectin “guru” Danny Lemoi, and untold hundreds, maybe thousands, of other morons over the last few years. Oh and that sheriff in Georgia too, lol.

A bill to allow horse race betting online that the House then amended to remove the state health commissioner’s ability to require that children receive certain vaccines died the exact same way.

FAKE NEWS. At this house was an illegal alien from Mexico who had previously been deported. His criminal history includes drug trafficking and assault.

ICE had a warrant for his arrest. https://t.co/YtVtNhjoqE

— Homeland Security (@DHSgov) June 13, 2025

BREAKING: 4 migrants escape from Newark detention facility, senior DHS official confirms pic.twitter.com/xr7d07YnVT

— Fox News (@FoxNews) June 13, 2025

Why haven’t they called the second one “fake news” yet? Does that mean these guys actually escaped and are currently on the loose in Newark? Or did they not just get to “debunking” it yet?

Asked by Axios’s Barak Ravid if he believes the chances of a nuclear deal with Iranian leadership have been nuked, convicted felon President Trump on Friday said “I don’t think so. Maybe the opposite. Maybe now they will negotiate seriously. I gave Iran 60 days, today is day 61… They should have made a deal.” The fat bastard said he was just about to go into the situation room.

Ravid then writes that Trump “argued that after Israel’s crippling strikes, Iran now has a stronger incentive to cut a deal,” lol what a fucking moron. “I couldn’t get them to a deal in 60 days. They were close, they should have done it. Maybe now it will happen,” Trump told Ravid.

Earlier on Friday Trump told CNN’s Dana Bash the Iranian negotiators are dead, meaning he’s making shit up or he’s telling the truth but somehow expects their replacements to be more amenable.

“Only one cure for pedophilia, and jail ain’t in it. If we threw every leftist out of our country, I’d wager most of the perverts would go with them. Throw them out, every one. Constitutional~Carry!” – Top comment on the TownHall.com article “Justice Department Alleges This State Lawmaker Used a Biden-Themed Username to Distribute Child Porn,” posted Thursday evening at the lame MAGA site.

If you read National Zero’s Thursday story “You’ll never guess what this Freedom Caucasian was arrested for” then you already know that soon-to-be-former South Carolina state Representative RJ May is a Republican who used the name “joebidennnn69” while posting child sex abuse material online. If you did not read TownHall’s version of the story carefully enough you would, as this right wing commenter evidently was, be mistaken about which political party May is a member of.

Now, the story does twice mention that May a co-founded the state House’s Freedom Caucus and quote their response that he’d “been expelled from our caucus.” So that’s like two and a half acknowledgements, since a Freedom Caucasian by very definition cannot be a Democrat – or a “leftist.” But those are buried in the text of the story and the only occurrence of the word “Republican” is in the last paragraph “Republican state Rep Thomas Beach, in a post on X, stated that ‘The justice system must take its full course,’ but that if May is convicted, ‘he should be punished to every extent that the law allows.'” The word “conservative” doesn’t appear either, nor does anything about May’s career or any of the legislation he introduced or sponsored.

Amid a border dispute with their Southeast Asian neighbor, Cambodian officials on Friday announced a ban on all Thai entertainment exports are banned until further notice and that all internet traffic would be routed through other countries, the Associated Press reports.

It’s unclear if that amounts to an actual ban on Thai websites. More importantly, and what everyone’s going to ask, is whether that means Thailand’s adult entertainment exports are subject to the ban. There may be a very large number of Cambodian men unhappy with the policy if yes.

An anonymous reich official tells the Washington Post that, despite convicted felon President Trump’s claims that “changes” will be made and workers in the hospitality and agriculture industries will be exempted from deportation raids, there will in fact be “no changes” or exceptions.

The fat bastard later walked it back anyway but still the post printed this story this morning.

LIBERATION DAY: Ellie Cohanim highlights Iranian suffering under the regime and how last night’s strike could spark hope for freedom. pic.twitter.com/ImLxJcYHEl

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) June 13, 2025

Yeah, “liberating the Iranian people” is what’s going to happen. Fucking dumbasses. It’s obvious that this Iranian-born Jewish Trump 1.0 official was brought on-air to try to spin it as good thing for the Iranian people to MAGA voters who (A) don’t give a fuck about the Iranian people, who won’t end up being “liberated” (B) bought into that “no more wars” line of horseshit from the Orange Ayatollah.

Less obvious is why “Liberation Day” is the chosen theme here. Some Fox News fans just might remember how well the last “Liberation Day” worked out for their God king and their movement.

British Prince William suffered the tragic loss of a dear friend on Thursday as Indian billionaire Sunjay Kapur died after swallowing a bee during a polo match in England, the Telegraph reports.

It happens. Last year a former Marin County, California water commissioner died after swallowing a bee while warming up for a bicycle race. It wasn’t clear what happened to him from there, as in if it was an allergy to the sting or choking or physical injury from falling off his bike and tumbling after being jolted from the abrupt and most unwelcome intrusion into his oral cavity from by the insect.

There’s no such mystery for Kapur. He was killed by an anaphylaxis-induced heart attack. The CEO of global car parts giant Sona Comstar leaves behind ex-wife Bollywood star Karisma Kapoor and an eight-ish year old son. Karisma in 2016 said he was an asshole who “decided to carry on, leaving me behind to take care of our sick four-month-old son, just to play a Polo match with Prince William.”

“On March 25, 2025, President Donald J Trump issued Executive Order No. 14248, Preserving and Protecting the Integrity of American Elections (the ‘Executive Order’). Among other things, the Executive Order requires the United States Election Assistance Commission (the ‘EAC’) and the Secretary of Defense to implement documentary proof of citizenship requirements with federal voter registration forms required to be used by Plaintiffs… and directs the EAC to condition statutory funding upon compliance with a ballot receipt deadline that is contrary to the respective state laws established by those thirteen States. The States have moved for a preliminary injunction barring the named Defendants (collectively, the ‘Defendants’ or the ‘Executive Branch’), from implementing these mandates of the Executive Order. After careful consideration of the parties’ filings, briefs from amici curiae and oral argument by counsel, the Court ALLOWS the States’ motion for preliminary injunction,” says a Friday order from Massachusetts US District Judge Denise Casper, in California v Trump… The other California v Trump. The one about elections, not the National Guard deployment.

That was Trump’s first defeat this morning. The second one, in the Second Circuit Court of Appeals, was kind of worse for him personally because they just ruled that they’re not tossing EJ Carroll’s win against him and now he has to take it to Los Supremos, per Politico’s Kyle Cheney.

Once again the means with which Tim Scott sells this fucking crypto bill that needs 60 votes to pass the Senate make, in the absence of all other details, it sound like a complete scam. What the actual fuck does it have to do with retail prices for people who don’t want anything to do with digital Monopoly money? This is a reach even for the idiots who watch stupid Maria Bartiromo’s show.

“The iconic Cup Noodles® has a new flame – and it’s a big dill. Nissin Foods USA introduces a flavor no one saw coming with the launch of its limited-edition Cup Noodles® Dill Pickle. Like any summer fling, this one’s fleeting, and not here forever so be sure to get it while it lasts,” says a press release from Nissin “Foods,” the nipo-thralled sodium-mongers whose microwaveable decoctions were already a curse upon this earth before they started with this bizarre shit about “summer flings.”

“The daring flavor mashup makes its debut just as pickles are having their moment on social – with over 321 million posts on TikTok and counting – fueling the brine-filled buzz. Combining the sharp zing of dill pickles with the savory satisfaction of noodles, Cup Noodles Dill Pickle feeds consumers’ pickle obsession with an unexpected ramen experience. Whether you’re catching feelings poolside or leveling up your movie date night snack, this dill-licious experience is ready in a quick five minutes. For those looking to turn up the tang, pair your noodles with a crunchy pickle spear for the ultimate savory-sour snack remix,” the hype continued and that “dill-licious” is just extra disgusting.

Like the heinous food-like products were already gross enough and now they gotta make this all sexual with talk about fluids and seasonal dalliances and goddamn it’s all too much. Just too much.

Speaking on the phone to ABC’s Jonathan Karl about Israel’s attack on Iran on Friday, TACO Man said “I think it’s been excellent,” Trump said. “We gave them a chance and they didn’t take it. They got hit hard, very hard. They got hit about as hard as you’re going to get hit. And there’s more to come. A lot more.” Asked if the US was at all involved, Trump said “I don’t want to comment on that.”

🚨 A direct strike on Iran right now would disastrously split the Trump coalition. Trump smartly ran against starting new wars, this is what the swing states voted for – the midterms are not far and Congress’ majority is already razor-thin. America First!

— Jack Poso 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) June 12, 2025

The craziest thing about the Israeli strikes on Iran tonight is that earlier this week, CBS reported that Trump mass deportation program is supported by 54% of the American people, an absolute majority

— Jack Poso 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) June 13, 2025

“I gave Iran chance after chance to make a deal. I told them, in the strongest of words, to ‘just do it,’ but no matter how hard they tried, no matter how close they got, they just couldn’t get it done. I told them it would be much worse than anything they know, anticipated, or were told, that the United States makes the best and most lethal military equipment anywhere in the World, BY FAR, and that Israel has a lot of it, with much more to come – And they know how to use it. Certain Iranian hardliner’s spoke bravely, but they didn’t know what was about to happen. They are all DEAD now.”

“And it will only get worse! There has already been great death and destruction, but there is still time to make this slaughter, with the next already planned attacks being even more brutal, come to an end. Iran must make a deal, before there is nothing left, and save what was once known as the Iranian Empire. No more death, no more destruction, JUST DO IT, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. God Bless You All!” posted TACO Man on Friday, making it clear he could not or would not actually stop Israel from attacking while he was trying to “negotiate” with Iran on their nuclear program.

Four fucking years of endless “This never would’ve happened if I was still in office” and it took not even five months for that to blow up like the Iranian Revolutionary Guard’s leadership. Fanboys can tell each other whatever bullshit they want. No amount of goalpost moving is going to change the fact that Israel never attacked Iran and threatened a larger war when Joe Biden was president.

Ahead of the Hitlerian speech by convicted felon President Trump to a self-selected audience at Fort Bragg in North Carolina on Tuesday, commanders on the base tell Military.com they had tried to push back and prevent a pop-up shop full of Chinese-made MAGA merch from being allowed on the installation for the obvious reasons that they did not want the appearance of political favor, etc.

Of course they were overruled and the shop by vendor, 365 Campaign, was on the base anyway, selling “Make America Great Again” chain necklaces and the fake credit card that says “White Privilege Card: Trumps Everything.” Which means that, in a way, the Trump regime was far closer to directly than indirectly endorsing the sale of a literal symbol of white supremacy to Army soldiers.

This should proooooooobably be a bigger deal than the mainstream media will make out of it.

Just to preface this: The article from CapeTownEtc.com headlined “Afrikaner family stranded in the US appeals for help after seeking refuge” does seem rather weakly sourced because it’s from a TikTok video that’s already been deleted. However you might end up feeling considerably more assured of the verisimilitude of TikToker @catpmt‘s story given that she pinned an explanatory post.

“Thank you for visiting my page. The video you have come to see has been taken down due to constant flagging by the platform for bullying. It has also caused enough damage by fanning the flames of a fire that I did not realize existed. My hope is to use this page to show the difficulties and challenges a person faces when moving country, but in a fun and educational way. The correct people have now stepped in to make sure all parties get what they need,” @catpmt wrote.

All that out of the way, CapeTownEtc reports that in the now-deleted video posted this week, @catpmt – by all appearances an native English-speaking Capetonian, and not an Afrikaner, now likely living in Montana (hence the “mt”) – described one of the MAGAfrikaner “refugee” families as being stranded in a hotel by the Trump Regime without employment or any prospects of moving out.