“The iconic Cup Noodles® has a new flame – and it’s a big dill. Nissin Foods USA introduces a flavor no one saw coming with the launch of its limited-edition Cup Noodles® Dill Pickle. Like any summer fling, this one’s fleeting, and not here forever so be sure to get it while it lasts,” says a press release from Nissin “Foods,” the nipo-thralled sodium-mongers whose microwaveable decoctions were already a curse upon this earth before they started with this bizarre shit about “summer flings.”
“The daring flavor mashup makes its debut just as pickles are having their moment on social – with over 321 million posts on TikTok and counting – fueling the brine-filled buzz. Combining the sharp zing of dill pickles with the savory satisfaction of noodles, Cup Noodles Dill Pickle feeds consumers’ pickle obsession with an unexpected ramen experience. Whether you’re catching feelings poolside or leveling up your movie date night snack, this dill-licious experience is ready in a quick five minutes. For those looking to turn up the tang, pair your noodles with a crunchy pickle spear for the ultimate savory-sour snack remix,” the hype continued and that “dill-licious” is just extra disgusting.
Like the heinous food-like products were already gross enough and now they gotta make this all sexual with talk about fluids and seasonal dalliances and goddamn it’s all too much. Just too much.