Daily Beast: “After a few days of road-testing scattered messages, major players in the GOP and conservative media have started to coalesce around a unified message to Afghans seeking refuge in the United States: Stay the hell out of my country. As President Joe Biden’s withdrawal from the war in Afghanistan has unfolded with the Taliban quickly retaking power and an exploding refugee and humanitarian crisis, immigration advocates and human-rights groups have blasted the Biden administration for its failures to adequately prepare for the evacuation and resettlement of thousands of Afghans and their families. The leader of the GOP, former President Donald Trump, mocked his successor (and was sure to fundraise off of the chaos), issuing a statement on Monday saying, ‘Can anyone even imagine taking out our Military before evacuating civilians and others who have been good to our Country and who should be allowed to seek refuge?’ and dubiously alleged, ‘Under my Administration, all civilians and equipment would have been removed.'”

“A private investigator interrupted California Republican gubernatorial candidate John Cox at a public debate Tuesday night and dropped off a February 2020 court order directing Cox to pay nearly $100,000 in fees to an agency that worked on his previous run for governor. The agent, Aman Choudhry from Choudhry Investigative Services shouted over Cox as Cox began to introduce himself to the audience at the Guild Theater in Sacramento, saying the candidate ‘had been served.’ The papers indicate Cox owes the thousands of dollars, plus a 6% interest rate, to Sandler-Innocenzi, a Virginia-based consulting firm that worked on his 2018 campaign for California governor. The agency had helped Cox’s campaign with advertising, according to a San Diego Union Tribune report. A spokesman for Cox’s campaign earlier this year told the Los Angeles Times that Cox contested the amount owed” – Sacramento Bee.

Reuters: “The United States reported more than 1,000 COVID-19 deaths on Tuesday, equating to around 42 fatalities an hour, according to a Reuters tally, as the Delta variant continues to ravage parts of the country with low vaccination rates. Coronavirus-related deaths have spiked in the United States over the past month and are averaging 769 per day, the highest since mid-April, according to the Reuters tally. President Joe Biden’s administration confirmed on Tuesday evening it planned to extend requirements for travelers to wear masks on airplanes, trains and buses and at airports and train stations until mid-January.”

“Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis – who has been criticized for opposing mask mandates and vaccine passports – is now touting a COVID-19 antibody treatment in which a top donor’s company has invested millions of dollars. DeSantis has been flying around the state promoting Regeneron, a monoclonal antibody treatment that was used on then-President Trump after he tested positive for COVID-19. The governor first began talking about it as a treatment last year. Citadel, a Chicago-based hedge fund, has $15.9 million in shares of Regeneron Pharmaceutical, according to filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission. Citadel CEO Ken Griffin has donated $10.75 million to a political committee that supports DeSantis – $5.75 million in 2018 and $5 million last April.”

“It’s not unusual for hedge funds to have a wide range of investments. And BlackRock, which has primarily donated to Democratic candidates, though has also donated substantially to Republicans, has a large holding in the company – more so than Citadel. DeSantis ramped up the call for Floridians to seek out monoclonal antibody treatments in August as coronavirus cases spiked. He’s held news conferences at treatment sites and a Tampa hospital touting the effectiveness of the drug if people receive treatment soon after testing positive. ‘Early treatment with these monoclonal antibodies – Regeneron and others – have proven to radically reduce the chances that somebody ends up being hospitalized,’ DeSantis said Monday at a treatment site in Orlando. ‘Reducing hospital admissions has got to be a top priority.’ Citadel’s investment in Regeneron is a tiny fraction of its overall $39 billion in investments, but if the stock price were to go up, Citadel would benefit. DeSantis spokeswoman Christina Pushaw points out that Citadel has far greater investments in Moderna and Pfizer, which manufacture COVID-19 vaccines” – AP.

Daily Beast: “A religious radio broadcaster who spread disinformation about the coronavirus vaccines was killed by the virus Sunday. Dr. Jimmy DeYoung Sr. had been admitted to the hospital Aug. 7 with COVID-19 complications, according to his wife Judy, who also contracted the virus. In February, DeYoung published an interview promoting the conspiracy theories that the Pfizer vaccine would make women sterile and that world governments were using the virus and vaccine to centralize power. DeYoung’s guest at the time, Sam Rohrer, said that very few people who were infected lost their lives, calling the vaccine only a ‘purported solution’ and ‘not truly a vaccine.’ Both host and guest encouraged listeners to read conspiracy-minded materials on the coronavirus vaccine, with DeYoung asking, ‘Could this vaccine be another form of government control of the people?’ DeYoung’s daughter Jodi wrote of his death on Facebook, ‘God has called a faithful servant home. Dr Jimmy DeYoung passed away early this morning at Memorial Hospital in Chattanooga.'”

Besides bragging about his great relationships with people like the Taliban and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, Donald Trump tells Sean Hannity that he knew the US should’ve evacuated American civilians from Afghanistan, then pulled the military equipment and finally pulled out the soldiers.  He doesn’t understand why the US has troops “protecting” 96 countries around the world, because “most people have never heard of them.”

Arizona’s Republican Governor Doug Ducey signed an order Tuesday allowing for him to cut off federally-funded COVID monies going to any school that mandates mask for students or shuts down after a coronavirus outbreak, the Associated Press reports.

Ducey’s funding threat, which could amount to $1,800 per student, flies in the face of public health recommendations for people exposed to coronavirus to isolate for days after coming in contact with an infected person.

“Safety recommendations are welcomed and encouraged — mandates that place more stress on students and families aren’t,” Ducey said in a statement. “These grants acknowledge efforts by schools and educators that are following state laws and keeping their classroom doors open for Arizona’s students.”

“The National Rifle Association hasn’t cleaned up rampant financial and managerial misconduct as it claimed over the past year, illustrating the need for the gun-rights group to be dissolved, New York Attorney General Letitia James said in a court filing. A failed bid for bankruptcy protection earlier this year exposed the hollowness of the NRA’s claim to have corrected the mismanagement, which included lavish spending by its longtime leader Wayne LaPierre and other serious lapses, James said in an amended lawsuit in New York state court. The attorney general said even the bankruptcy judge had cited the ‘shocking’ level of authority LaPierre exercised over the group” – Bloomberg.

“At least four school districts in Texas have closed campuses due to coronavirus outbreaks early in the new school year.  The shutdowns are taking place as more districts and communities are requiring students and residents to wear face coverings indoors, defying Gov. Greg Abbott’s ban on mask mandates. The school district in Gorman in North Texas had been set to begin the school year Wednesday but is delaying that by a week. Campus shutdowns also were announced Tuesday by the districts in the East Texas towns of Bloomburg and Waskom. Those moves came a day after the Iraan-Sheffield district in West Texas closed its schools for two weeks. Mask wearing was optional in these four school districts. At least 21 other districts, including some of the state’s biggest, have instituted mask mandates, which are in violation of Abbott’s executive order banning such measures” – Associated Press.

Over the course of the last few days I’ve been developing a criminal profile to try to explain what happened with the pullout from Afghanistan. A criminal profile should not be considered a statement of fact, but merely an outline to help guide investigators by presenting what appears to be a most likely scenario describing a course of events. In the case of Afghanistan, the bizarre series of events that led to the Taliban’s rout of the Afghan Defense Forces may have begun with Vladimir Putin wanting to gain access to rare earth minerals mining rights in the Afghan countryside.

“Time to put some pepp in your step: Beyond Pepperoni has officially arrived! We’ve once again teamed up with our friends at Pizza Hut, this time to create a plant-based version of America’s favorite pizza topping. It’s everything you love about classic pepperoni – crisped edges, savory and smoky flavor, just the right amount of subtle heat – now made from simple, plant-based ingredients like peas and rice. Beyond Pepperoni also contains no GMOs, soy, gluten, hormones, antibiotics or cholesterol” says the probably Chinese-connected Beyond Meat company on their blog.

This is just another example of how the totalitarian left, having failed in its quest to indoctrinate wide swaths of freedom-loving traditional American families into their hateful, socialist agenda, have turned their claws onto big business, forcing them to sell so-called “healthy” Franken-meat garbage to their base of lesbian college professors who drive Subaru hybrids. THEY are the ones holding American consumers hostage to this corporate communist madness, with their spending power and alleged “popular” influence over these sort of decisions.

The radical leftists are just going to increase the market for these abominations and there’s nothing “Patriots” can do about it. Literally nothing short of bankrupting Pizza Hut and Beyond Meat somehow through boycotts but that’s very unlikely, so that’s it. The leftists win this one.

“How would you like to be in Kabul today, as an American, and you can’t get to the airport? Where are you thinking your life is headed? If you’re one of those family members, I bet you’re not sleeping. I don’t even think My Pillow can do it. MyPillow.com. That’s where I go. I fall asleep faster, I stay asleep longer. These are going to be a lot of sleepless nights for so many of our fellow Americans. We’ve got to get them home” – Sean Hannity on radio Tuesday via Media Matters.

“Governor Greg Abbott today tested positive for the COVID-19 virus. The Governor has been testing daily, and today was the first positive test result. Governor Abbott is in constant communication with his staff, agency heads, and government officials to ensure that state government continues to operate smoothly and efficiently. The Governor will isolate in the Governor’s Mansion and continue to test daily. Governor Abbott is receiving Regeneron’s monoclonal antibody treatment” says an Abbot spokesminion in a statement.

.@GregAbbott_TX is at the Republican Club at Heritage Ranch meeting tonight! pic.twitter.com/oIuabG72lU

— Texans for Abbott (@AbbottCampaign) August 17, 2021

And there’s Greg himself on Monday night, hanging out with all those cool Texas Republicans who donate lots of money to his campaign. Looks like he had a blast, wheeling and dealing, mask-free, not a care in the world for him or any of his pals. Hope they can make the next one!

“The founder and administrator of an obscure website about underground infrastructure in Washington, D.C., saw a sudden and suspicious spike in traffic in the days before the U.S. Capitol insurrection. The sharp increase in web visitors alarmed the site’s operator so much that he contacted the FBI. Elliot Carter, who operates the site, worried people were covertly seeking escape routes or entry points to the Capitol ahead of the electoral college count in January. That concern about web traffic to WashingtonTunnels.com eventually made its way to leadership of U.S. Capitol Police. ‘These people were suddenly obsessed with the Capitol building,’ Carter said. Carter, a longtime D.C. professional who once interned on Capitol Hill, created and curates the website detailing the history of underground tunnels and pipe systems in the nation’s capitol.”

“The site, which has a narrow but devoted following among D.C.-area history and city planning buffs, includes maps and details of the underground transit rail system, along with water and sewer systems. Carter has also included maps of the unique and heavily traveled underground tunnels on the Hill, which connect the Capitol building to House and Senate Office Buildings, the Library of Congress and the Capitol Visitor Center. Traffic on the website is usually limited to visitors and referrals from people in D.C. and in nearby communities in Virginia and Maryland, Carter said. But starting on New Year’s Day, a spike in traffic included visitors nationwide. He said a deeper review of analytics from his site revealed many of the clicks were coming from hyperlinks shared on anonymous message boards, sites and forums named after militias or firearms, or using Donald Trump’s name. ‘These were names I really didn’t recognize,’ he said. Carter said his concerns led him to email the FBI’s Washington Field Office” – NBC Washington.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation announced Tuesday that it is assisting Colorado law enforcement officials investigating the leak of usernames and passwords for the Mesa County voting machines on a QAnon-affiliated website, CNN reports.

Mesa County clerk Tina Peters, who appeared at last weeks cyber symposium hosted by Trump-supporting conspiracy theorist and foam magnate Mike Lindell, has been blamed for the leak.  Peters reported gave access to the secure room where that information is kept to Gerald Wood, a non-employee of the election board. Reportedly, Wood and Peters, along with an unnamed person who was a high-level employee of the county elections office, accessed a secure room in the elections office and made copies of hard drives on elections equipment and polling machines. The files were kept on one of these devices, and the information was later included in videos posted by 8chan founder and man rumored to be the “real Q”, Ron Watkins, on his Telegram feed.

Peters appeared at Lindell’s conference last week, claiming she was being targeted as a scapegoat by Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold. However, employee key cards for Peters and the employee – and another apparently carried by Wood, even though he isn’t an employee -were used to open various secure doors in the elections office, records show.

“A judge refused Tuesday to close pretrial hearings to the media and public in the case of the man accused of killing 17 people in the 2018 Parkland high school mass shooting. Broward County Circuit Judge Elizabeth Scherer rejected a motion by defendant Nikolas Cruz’s lawyers claiming that intense media coverage jeopardizes his right to a fair trial” NBC 6 reports.

“Scherer did not elaborate on her reasons for denial, saying she would detail them in a written order later. But Dana McElroy, attorney for The Associated Press, said it was the correct decision. ‘It allows access to all of the hearings and filings in this case of great public concern, which is both contemplated and required by the Constitution,’ McElroy said after the hearing. Several media outlets, including the AP, ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox News and CNN had challenged the closure motion. Cruz’s lawyers contended that open hearings might publicly reveal inadmissible evidence that will never be heard at trial and that news coverage could otherwise create bias among jurors.”

That last bullshit argument is particularly rich, that the defense apparently believe a jury pool can somehow be tainted in a case where an involuntarily celibate, Trump-loving terrorist unquestionably and knowingly slaughtered 17 high school students and teachers. Maybe it’s the best they can do given the circumstances. They should also try to make sure jurors don’t find out that Cruz is a registered Republican who voted by mail in the 2020 election from his jail cell (which he absolutely can do given that he has yet to be convicted of a felony) and it isn’t a bridge too far to assume who he voted for.

“A man who allegedly stole a forklift is suspected of driving through a south Sacramento church’s tent, destroying a place that was being used for food distribution and COVID-19 testing. According to the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Office, late Saturday night, someone broke into the National Trench Safety business and drove off with a 20-ton forklift.”

“The suspect managed to drive all the way down the street until he got to the South Sacramento Christian Center property. There, he drove through the parking lot and apparently went right for the church’s tent, mangling it. Deputies say the suspect eventually ended up behind a motel in the area. He was taken into custody off the forklift at gunpoint, the sheriff’s office says. The name of the suspect has not been released, but the sheriff’s office has identified him as a 36-year-old man. He has been booked into jail for felony vandalism” – CBS13.

“This question should be asked to those people who are claiming to be promoters of freedom of speech, who do not allow the publication of all information… I can ask Facebook company. This question should be asked to them” says a Taliban spokesman in response to a reporter’s question at a press conference, through a translator. The exact question asked is unclear, but most likely in regard to Facebook’s ban on all Taliban-related material on its platforms enacted Thursday.

Sometimes these things are so easy to write they actually become hard to write, like we get paralyzed by the indecision of exactly how to deliver a good joke given the excruciatingly painful obviousness of a parallel such as this one is to a well-treaded topic for National Zero. There’s only so much our obnoxiously dry parsimony can do here, so pick it up for us in the comments.

Wisconsin Examiner: “Sen. Ron Johnson was one of 30 Republicans who voted against the recently passed $1.2 trillion infrastructure bill – yet in an appearance on the conservative Dan Bongino Show, Johnson said he hadn’t even read the bill. The package passed the Senate last week but has not yet passed the House of Representatives. It could bring billions of dollars to Wisconsin to repair roads and bridges, expand internet access across the state and replace lead pipes; 19 Republicans, including Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) voted for the bill.”

“Johnson noted the bill’s 2,700 page length and its price tag in his public statements about the vote, but later said he didn’t read it. ‘And, I’ll be the first to admit, I didn’t read the thing,’ he said on the Aug. 12 episode of the Dan Bongino Show. ‘I was able to glean pretty quickly on that there was no way I was going to be able to support that pig…’ Democrats in Wisconsin say Johnson admitting he didn’t even read the bill is another sign of his failure as a leader in the state. ‘Once again, Ron Johnson’s complete lack of leadership and disregard for the office he holds is on full display,’ Philip Shulman, spokesperson for the Democratic Party of Wisconsin, says. ‘In refusing to even read the bipartisan infrastructure plan, Ron Johnson sent a very clear message to Wisconsinites that their interests and needs don’t matter to him.'”

Maki Kaji, the Japanese man called the “Godfather of Sudoku” who invented the popular numbers puzzle found in newspapers around the world, died August 10th of bile duct cancer in Tokyo at the age of 69, the Associated Press reports.

Chief executive at his puzzle company, Nikoli Co., Maki traveled to more than forty countries to promote puzzling as a enjoyable, beneficial activity.  He trademarked the name “sudoku” in Japan, but never sought to own a trademark international, leading to the puzzle’s rabid adoption as regular content.

“Kaji-san came up with the name Sudoku and was loved by puzzle fans from all over the world. We are grateful from the bottom of our hearts for the patronage you have shown throughout his life,” the company said in a statement.