Are Democrats holding our government hostage to hold a “No Kings” protest this weekend? Who is funding it? And which Democrats will participate?

These are all questions the American people deserve to have answered. pic.twitter.com/ld3H6GZZyj

— Secretary Sean Duffy (@SecDuffy) October 13, 2025

Dem former Ohio Congressman Tim Ryan has begun assembling a team to take on MAGA billionaire Vivek “Da Vek” Ramaswamy in the Buckeye State’s gubernatorial election, Cleveland.com reports.

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson continued his self-inflicted misery in front of the press on Monday morning by being very open about the fact that there is no plan, none whatsoever, to replace Obamacare, and the GOP never had one when they failed to do so in 2017, something Johnson shared his hidden secret of having suffered psychological trauma through in those days.

The newly-MAGAfied Paramount-Skydance’s $20/share bid for Warner Bros Discovery has been rejected as too insulting to even consider by the latter conglomerates’s detestable piece of shit CEO David Zaslav, Bloomberg reports on what’s likely still merely a delay in the movement for regime-friendly plutocratic media consolidation and specifically for CNN to be controlled by a loyalist.

It’s not like Zaslav and his minions refused on principle. They just want more money.

Madagascar President Andry Rajoelina’s office on Monday announced he’s due to make a big speech on national television at 7 PM local time while kind of leaving out that he’s not actually in the nation, let alone specify which other nation he’s currently holed up in, the AP reports.

Rajoelina, who was installed in 2009 by Madagascar’s elite CAPSTAT military unit amid massive civil unrest, is believed to have been evacuated by French commandos sent by President Emmanuel Macron amid massive civil unrest the led to his uninstallation by the Madagascar’s elite CAPSTAT military unit. CAPSAT commander Colonel Michael Randrianirina said his men were responding to the people’s calls for intervention when they shot a bunch of security forces who had been firing on protestors in the capital city of Antananarivo. The drama capped weeks of often violent clashes between protestors and government forces over constant electricity and water outages, driven by a group calling themselves “Gen Z Madagascar” whose leaders say they were inspired and motivated by the successful recent collapses of incompetent governments in Sri Lanka and Nepal.

Two inmates in a British prison have been charged with the murder of former Lostprophets frontman Ian Watkins, who was convicted in 2013 of conspiring to rape a child, three counts of sexual assault involving children, seven involving taking, making or possessing indecent images of children and one of possessing an extreme pornographic image involving a sex act on an animal, the BBC reports.

Rashid Gedel, 25, and Samuel Dodsworth, 43, were arraigned Monday after Watkins, was found dead of unspecified injuries in the Wakefield Prison on Saturday morning. Lostprophets had been one of the UK’s biggest bands, securing 11 top 40 hits and a number one album between 2002 and 2010, but broke up in 2013 after Watkins, 48, was sentenced to a 29 year bid for his depravity.

Monday’s Columbus Day parade in New York City has been canceled due to and ongoing storm hitting Gotham, ABC 7 reports, writing that “Eyewitness News will air a one-hour special at 1:00 pm, highlighting some of the Italian-Americans who were going to be honored at the parade,” lol.

Lol at that “were going to be honored at the parade” part and, of course, at how all the MAGA dickheads are going to be shitting bricks over the cancelation. Gov Kathy Hochul declared a state of emergency in the city, Westchester, and Long Island over the not-currently-that-bad of a storm.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan justified the Trump Regime prosecuting former FBI Director Jim Comey because something something Russia investigation in 2017 during an interview the CNN’s Dana Bash on Sunday morning. Bash then reminded Jordan that the charges against Comey were over 2020 testimony to Congress, to which Jordan had no real answer.

Sources tell the Wall Street Journal that, on a mid-August weekend day on which inmates at the Club Fed in Bryan, Texas would ordinarily be allowed free rein to receive visitors for outdoor picnics and what not, the female jailbirds were instead locked down in their dorms while convicted sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell was in a meeting with parties unknown in the prison facility’s chapel.

After she returned to her bunk, other inmates noticed Maxwell had a smile on her face, but would not say anything about who she had met with or anything that had been discussed.

The rest of the article further paints a picture of the bubble wrapping around the likely future Trump pardonee: After Maxwell arrived at the prison the warden called a “town hall” and warned the inmates that they would be transferred to a real prison if they made any threats or spoke to the media about her at all. At least two have since been moved – including embezzler Julie Howell and another who appears to be the source for the Journal’s reporting here. One night there was a shooting at a house across the street from the Club Fed – which had nothing to do with the prison or Maxwell and still a SWAT team rushed into the sex trafficker’s room and covered her.

“THE BIDEN FBI PLACED 274 AGENTS INTO THE CROWD ON JANUARY 6. If this is so, which it is, a lot of very good people will be owed big apologies. What a SCAM – DO SOMETHING!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 12:38 AM on Sunday. Sounds like he had a rough night.

Need to start from the top here for the non-gamers in the audience: Assassin’s Creed is a 2007 video game published by French studio Ubisoft that has since spawned a series that of 13 full-length sequels and 15 or so spinoffs and mobile phone games, plus a not-very-well-received 2016 film starring Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, and the late great Michael Kenneth Williams.

The premise is hard to explain but as tightly as possible here it is: In every game, players take on the role of a member of the Assassin Order, who for thousands of years have been battling the Knights Templar for control over powerful artifacts left behind by an ancient alien civilization being ruthlessly sought by all sorts of historical villains. The settings have jumped back and forth between, no joke, Greece during the Peloponnesian War, Roman/Ptolemaic Egypt, Abbasid Caliphate Baghdad, Britain during the Viking invasions, the Levant/Turkey during the Crusades, Renaissance Italy, Feudal Japan, the Caribbean during the Golden Age of Piracy, Revolutionary-era America, Revolutionary-era France, and late Victorian London. And that’s just the main, fully-priced entires in the series.

“US Customs and Border Protection announced that it has conducted a thorough review of available evidence pertaining to allegations of an entry into the United States by Brazilian national Filipe Martins on Dec 30, 2022. Upon completion of the review, it was determined that Mr Martins did not enter the US on that date. This finding directly contradicts claims made by Brazilian Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes, an individual who was recently sanctioned by the US for his human rights violations against the Brazilian people,” says a US Border Patrol press release.

“We recognize that Justice de Moraes cited an erroneous record to justify Mr Martins’ monthslong imprisonment. The inclusion of this inaccurate record in CBP’s official systems remains under investigation, and CBP will take appropriate steps to prevent future discrepancies from occurring. CBP strongly condemns any misuse of this false entry to support the conviction or imprisonment of Mr Martins or any person. We reaffirm our dedication to maintaining the integrity of our border records and supporting the principles of justice and human rights,” the release continued.

Great job guys, except on the part where you explain why the fuck this is supposed to matter other than just some picayune way of justifying that which your regime’s overlords already justified to themselves. We get that they don’t like Alexandre De Moraes. The “evidence” is unnecessary.

At least 18 workers at a munitions plant about 60 miles outside of Nashville, Tennessee are missing and feared dead after an explosion tore through the facility Friday morning, the AP reports.

“Mr Comey asserts that the first set of pretrial motions due on October 20, 2025, which the Court ordered at the arraignment hearing, demands that discovery be produced on Monday, October 13, 2025. Naturally, at least some of this discovery will inform the bases for the vindictive and selective prosecution motion that is to be filed on October 20, 2025. As of the date of this filing, the defense has received one page of discovery. The government contends that the term ‘deadline for pretrial motions’ refers to the deadline for the second tranche of pretrial motions, October 30, 2025.”

“To be able to fully articulate all bases for the first tranche of pretrial motions including the vindictive and selective nature of this case; to be able to effectively defend Mr. Comey; and because it is the plain language of the standard discovery order, Mr Comey respectfully requests that the Court enter the additional proposed order making clear that ‘the deadline for pretrial motions’ referenced in the standard discovery order is the first pretrial motions deadline of October 20, 2025,” write former FBI Director James Comey and his lawyer, other former federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, at the end of a notice to the court about how things are going in the lying to Congress case against him.

“It has just been learned that China has taken an extraordinarily aggressive position on Trade in sending an extremely hostile letter to the World, stating that they were going to, effective November 1st, 2025, impose large scale Export Controls on virtually every product they make, and some not even made by them. This affects ALL Countries, without exception, and was obviously a plan devised by them years ago. It is absolutely unheard of in International Trade, and a moral disgrace in dealing with other Nations,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, 50 minutes after the stock market closed until Tuesday morning to prevent a further slide caused by his stupid bullshit.

“Based on the fact that China has taken this unprecedented position, and speaking only for the USA, and not other Nations who were similarly threatened, starting November 1st, 2025 (or sooner, depending on any further actions or changes taken by China), the United States will impose a Tariff of 100 percent on China, over and above any Tariff that they are currently paying. Also on November 1st, we will impose Export Controls on any and all critical software,” Trump continued and apparently this is just a more coherently written version of the 493-word single block of text from earlier.

Well at least he didn’t say jumping jacks. The very specific choice of exercise for the Illinois governor came in the middle of the Texas governor telling Fox Newsdouche Will Cain how the situation of him sending Texas National Guard troops to Chicago was totally different from when he freaked out over Joe Biden threatening to federalize the guard to prevent them from violating the constitution.

“The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee made history this week running a digital ad praising… Marjorie Taylor Greene. With Mike Johnson threatening to keep Republicans on vacation for a fourth straight week, even MTG has had enough, saying she is ‘absolutely disgusted’ that health care premiums will double if Republicans refuse to address the expiring ACA tax credits. The ad will be running on conservative news sites, including FOX, Breitbart, and Newsmax, ensuring that Republicans hear the message from one of their own,” says the DCCC in a press release.

“When Marjorie Taylor Greene is the voice of reason it’s safe to say Mike Johnson’s shutdown has gone off the rails. He should take her advice, bring back the House, and extend the ACA tax credits before premiums skyrocket for families across the country,” said DCCC spokesman Aidan Johnson.

MAGA crypto circlejerk political betting site Polymarket is coming under scrutiny as some asshole who never had an account before this month and never used it until Thursday night won about $30,000 betting on Maria Corina Machado to win the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize, Bloomberg reports.

“We take this very seriously. It seems we have been prey to a criminal actor who wants to earn money on our information,” Nobel Institute director Kristian Berg Harpviken told Bloomberg. The committee had made their decision on Monday but it was only around midnight Friday that her odds suddenly spiked. Another two users made about $60,000 between them betting on Machado.