Ohio Senator Jon Husted, the guy who replaced JD Vance, really sucked this morning on CNBC. Kind of painful to watch, but funny too as he stumbled his way into increasing taxes on the wealthy and then just said he’s for whatever convicted felon President Trump is for (no shit), claimed he’s “optimistic” the whole tariff shitshow’s going to work out for Ohioans, and excused away Donald’s shit about running again. Also tried to troll the hosts by calling the Cleveland Guardians the “Indians.”

“Three US Army Soldiers assigned to 1st Armored Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division were found deceased in Lithuania today, March 31. The Soldiers, whose identities are being withheld pending notification of next of kin, went missing in the early morning hours of March 25 in their M88A2 Hercules armored recovery vehicle while conducting a mission to repair and tow an immobilized tactical vehicle. Search and recovery operations continue for the remaining fourth Soldier. US Army units supported by Lithuanian Armed Forces and law enforcement conducted a search and found the vehicle submerged in a body of water in the early hours of March 26.”

“The M88A2 was removed from the peat bog early Monday morning, March 31, after a six-day-long effort that required tremendous resources from Lithuania, our steadfast Ally, and hundreds of service members from the US Army, US Navy, Lithuanian Armed Forces and the Polish Armed Forces along with other elements from the Lithuanian government and civilian agencies to solve the engineering challenge of recovering the 63-ton-vehicle from an area surrounded by unstable ground conditions,” says a Monday press release from US Army Europe and Africa command.

Huh, almost like this would’ve been a bigger deal if it’d happened a year ago, and in a way that’s kind revelatory of the media ecosystem: That it’s not just that the “bias” left-leaning audiences perceive in the MSM gives Trump’s Regime a pass they wouldn’t to Biden – deliberate or otherwise it still got us here. Less ambiguous however is the fact that the sum total collective attention of global news organizations only has so much bandwidth in it, that the Biden years were mostly pretty boring and this story and the guaranteed manufactured MAGA outrage over it being somehow the end result of his policies simply would have filled in the gaps that aren’t there now that the fat fuck put a binge drinking idiot in charge of the military is actively trying to destroy the US economy.

Convicted felon President Trump’s already failed second administration is weighing plans to bail out farmers, again, after realizing how badly they’ll get fucked by his stupid trade war, the New York Times reports while estimating that it’d be far costlier than the $23 billion shelled out last time.

But, you know how it goes. It’s only socialism when it’s money for schools or veterans’ health care or biomedical research grants to scientists who were working on cancer vaccines. America’s farmers are hard-working decent folk who go to church and only hire illegals with fake social security numbers to do all the backbreaking work milking cows and picking strawberries because the Obama and Biden Administrations couldn’t get any legislation passed to fix that. Democrats hate farmers.

That’s why Morgan Wallen walked off the set at Saturday Night Live and then posted on Instagram about it. It was a big deal. Mediaite had lots of coverage of that story. It went viral on Sunday.

NEWSMAX announced that its Class B Common Stock will begin trading Monday on the New York Stock Exchange under the symbol “NMAX” soon after the market opens. https://t.co/RUgDXzGjGY

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) March 31, 2025

The driver on the bus’s gun went blam-blam-blam, blam-blam-blam, blam-blam-blam, NBC 6 Miami reports reports reports, on their website. Two passengers were airlifted to a hospital, airlifted to a hospital, airlifted to a hospital, two passengers were airlifted to a hospital after being shot.

There they were pronounced dead dead dead, dead dead dead, dead dead dead, the disruptive passengers were pronounced dead. The driver of the bus is under investigation, under investigation, under investigation, the driver of the bus is under investigation, but he hasn’t been charged yet.

Miami-Dade Transit officials had no comment, had no comment, had no comment, Miami-Dade Transit officials had no comment. Witness Wabe God said he heard six shots fired, heard six shots fired, heard six shots fired, witness Wabe God seriously is named Wabe God, lol through the town.

Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff, probably the most vulnerable Dem incumbent in 2026, was pretty transparent Sunday in his bid to choose his own opponent by taunting insane white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, telling CNN that he doesn’t “think that she’s got the guts to do it. But she would be a disaster in the United States Senate,” per the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Ossoff would obviously be considerably less imperiled if facing Greene rather than term-limited Governor Brian Kemp. Senate Republicans are working hard to recruit Kemp given his solid wins during the 2018 Blue Wave and in 2022 when the “Red Wave” failed to put CTE-brained moron Herschel Walker in the seat held by other Dem Reverend Senator Raphael Warnock, though so far Greene’s the only one to signal interest in a run for Senate – or governor. Kemp, on the other hand, has been worrying Peach State Republicans by what they see as signs he’ll pass and instead try to run for president in 2028. “Without Kemp in the race, the GOP doesn’t just need a candidate, it needs a warrior ready to crush the opposition and put hardworking Georgians first,” said some dickhead aide to complete chode Congressman Rich McCormick, one possible backup contender.

The funniest possible outcome would of course be if Greene and Kemp both run and Dem voters rush the open primary to put Sporkfoot over the top. Thing is that Kemp’s pretty shrewd and may have already simply decided against putting himself on the line in what’s shaping up to be a rough year for MAGA. Or he could be waiting to see how this November shakes out. Who the hell knows.

Freed Israeli hostage calls on Trump to end war, bring remaining hostages home https://t.co/rH7BZBehIk pic.twitter.com/fawLazESnn

— New York Post (@nypost) March 31, 2025

A French court on Monday sentenced far right extremist Marine Le Pen to the political death penalty, two years in prison plus a five year ban of running for office ahead of an expected 2027 repeat bid for the presidency after convicting her and 20 others of an embezzlement scam, France24 reports.

The first and most immediate international reaction came from – sur-fucking-prise – the Kremlin, where rapey-mustached spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters “More and more European capitals are going down the path of violating democratic norms,” as if he wouldn’t be thrown out of a 10th story window today if he fucked up and wore a light blue tie with a yellow Oxford shirt to work.

Well that was actually the only international reaction mentioned in France24 English’s article, there could’ve been others. The reporters had to know Vlad’s regime would be very prompt with not at all beating the charges of deep connections to right wing nationalists in NATO countries.

Myanmar’s ruling junta in the aftermath of Friday’s devastating 7.7 magnitude earthquake have continued and even possibly intensified their campaign against the rebel movement to restore the country’s former democratically-elected government, a spokesperson for the Chaung U Peoples Defence Forces, one of the militias in the anti-government coalition, tell the BBC, saying they came under mortar fire and that at least five military convoys were headed to the area.

All this while the government declared a week of national mourning for the at least 1,700 people killed in the quake, a toll that is guaranteed to rise dramatically, and while the rebels have declared a partial ceasefire, suspending all “non-defensive” actions against the junta. Maybe the Burmese people with loved ones still buried and possibly alive under tons of concrete and rebar understand, they get it that this is a “detox period” and troops who could be helping to dig them out are instead digging out rebels buried under tons of concrete and rebar and possibly alive so they can be promptly executed for engaging in treason against the junta. They trust General Min Aung Hlaing.

The weathered face of an wizened financial sorcery mage silently spake of a coming great upheaval in the fantasy roleplaying realm of Wa-al St’ret, a mystical land in which the grand inquisitors at the Goldman Sachs guilde voiced with much foreboding that the Great Dragon of Rece-Shûn could reemerge from the fiery depths to which she had been cast many moons ago by Lord O-Bama.

A French court on Monday returned a guilty verdict for far right leader Marine Le Pen as well as eight European Parliament members and twelve aides from her National Rally party, convicting them of misappropriation of public funds and putting the extremist Le Pen, who’d been expected to run for president once again in 2027, in danger of a ban from public office, Euronews.com reports.

“Personally I’m not nervous. But I can see why people think I might be. The judges have the power of life or death over the movement. But I don’t think they will go so far as to do it,” Le Pen had told the La Tribune Dimanche newspaper on Sunday ahead of the verdict, downplaying the possibility she could be banned from running for office. The sentence will be handed down in a few hours.

At least one person was killed as US aircraft pew-pewed Houthi positions in Yemen overnight during strikes which may or may not have been texted in advance to a journalist, the AP reports.

Sometime after I hit publish on Saturday’s article “QAnon freak Arizona state Senator Wendy Rogers kills anti-Stolen Valor bill to protect her failed endorsee fake Vietnam veteran,” and thinking about what I’d slapped together I had something of an “Oh fuck” moment. Now this isn’t to express any regret, in fact I’m mostly at peace with the way it turned out, simply because going into the weeds about Arizona HB2030 itself would’ve marred and bloated what was already a pretty long if mostly straightforward retelling of how the white nationalist psychopath Rogers came to end up blocking a bill criminalizing misrepresentations of one’s military record. That piece was about politics and legislating, not the potential implications of the bill if it does end up getting signed, a possibility that still remains as it will bypass Rogers and be in Arizona state Senate President Warren Petersen’s hands if and when the state House passes it again as SB 1214, all thanks to a cheat code.

That said, I did kind of breeze over HB2030’s constitutionality itself, writing “Most of this bill’s probably unconstitutional as, in US v Alvarez, the Supreme Court has already ruled that it’s protected to speech to falsify military service,” which, though the latter part is true in a vacuum, the entire sentence was a gross mischaracterization of how HB2030 would work under Alvarez. The real story leads to a dark place for Wendy Rogers and every other fucking freak in the Republican party.

It begins in 2007 when Xavier Alvarez, then a newly-elected member of the Three Valley Water District in Claremont, California introduced himself by saying, “I’m a retired Marine of 25 years. I retired in the year 2001. Back in 1987, I was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. I got wounded many times by the same guy.” What the hell Alvarez actually meant about being wounded in combat in 1987, specifically as to what war or battle and where this was is unclear but not really relevant. The truth is he had never served a day in the Marines or any other service branch in his life.

Transportation cast member Sean Duffy already told the crowd to vote for MAGA state Supreme Court candidate Brad Schimel to “send a message to the left not to mess with Elon…”

In an article headlined “Trump won’t rule out seeking a third term in the White House, tells NBC News ‘there are methods’ for doing so,” NBC News evidently ruled out being honest with their audience by not instead titling it “Trump won’t stop jerking media around about a third term.”

“A lot of people want me to do it,” Trump said as he jerked NBC News around during a Sunday-morning phone call. “But, I mean, I basically tell them we have a long way to go, you know, it’s very early in the administration.” NBC then writes “When asked whether he wanted another term, the president responded, ‘I like working,'” without noting that’s a lie because the fat fuck was almost certainly at Mar-a-Lago in Florida, instead of at the White House working.

“I’m not joking. But I’m not – it is far too early to think about it,” Trump then said, and yeah he’s “joking” because he’d rather just remain president for life instead of having to run again. Asked whether he has been presented with plans to run again, Trump said, “There are methods which you could do it.” Then he was asked about a possible scenario in which Vice President Jaydee Vance would run for president with Trump on the ticket and then immediately resign if he wins, Trump responded that “that’s one” method. “But there are others too,” Trump added. Asked to share the other methods, Trump simply responded “no,” according to NBC’s article.

Even other Republicans think this Jodey Arrington guy is a fucking moron. Anonymously, of course.

On a January 15 through 17th CBS News/YouGov national survey’s question of “Financial Condition Under Trump: Do you think Donald Trump’s policies as president will make you…” “Financially better off,” “Financially worse off,” or “Stay about the same,” 76 percent of respondents identified as Republican voters said better off, just 4 percent said worse, and 20 percent said same just days before their Orange Allah returned to office. With Dem voters it was 17 percent expecting better, 51 percent worse, 32 percent the same, making the partisan bent to the response a little more muted than the total inverse you might’ve expected. The indie respondents were closer to the Dems at 37 better, 30 worse, and 33 percent same. Overall was 42 better, 28 worse, 30 percent same.

Fast forward 71 days and the same question amended to the present tense with “Do you think Donald Trump’s policies are making you,” just 43 percent of Republican respondents now say they are making them better off, 9 percent worse, and 48 percent the same, a net swing of 33 percent from better to worse or a 28 percent drop from better to the same, depending on how you want to score it. With indie voters better dropped to 21 percent, worse rose to 49 percent, same dropped to 30 percent, net swing of 35 percent. The overall was 23 percent better, 42 percent worse, 35 percent same. No point in even bothering with the new Dem numbers, they were brutal.

Despite their naked discomfort with the way things are going economically, Republican respondents, at 91 percent approval of Trump still carried the fat fuck to a 50/50 job rating in the overall. Dems rated the Orange God Emperor at a nearly symmetrical 12 to 88 percent approve/disapprove while independent voter respondents put him at 43 percent approve to 57 disapprove.

“People are shocked by what is going on with the Court System. I was elected for many reasons, but a principal one was LAW AND ORDER, a big part of which is QUICKLY removing a vast Criminal Network of individuals, who came into our Country through the Crooked Joe Biden Open Borders Policy! These are dangerous and violent people, who kill, maim and, in many other ways, harm the people of our Country. The Voters want them OUT, and said so in Record Numbers. If it was up to District Judge Boasberg and other Radical Left Judges, nobody would be removed, the President wouldn’t be allowed to do his job, and people’s lives would be devastated all throughout our Country. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday.

Interesting variation on “people are saying.” Actually an intensification of it, really. Guess he has to dial it up when he’s trying to sell a system in which even US citizens can be falsely accused of being in a mostly made-up Venezuelan street gang and shipped to a dungeon in El Salvador without any recourse or due process in front of a judge whatsoever. Kind of fascist-y, right?

Republican Oklahoma Senator James Lankford on Sunday tried to dismiss the stock market shitshow and the specter of stagflation wrought by convicted felon President Trump’s batshit stupid policies, telling CNN’s Dana Bash that it’s “kinda like a kitchen remodel or a bathroom remodel, there’s a bit of a mess at the beginning but everybody has a look term look of where we’re headed.”

Okay, lol. Before that Lankford also said he thinks Pete Hegseth “just joined into an encrypted app. I don’t see it as much of an issue… this is normal communication.”

Convicted felon President Trump on Saturday weighed in on the Signal shitshow that made him and his minions look like complete idiots, telling NBC he thinks “it’s just a witch hunt and the fake news, like you, talk about it all the time, but it’s just a witch hunt, and it shouldn’t be talked [about]. We had a tremendously successful strike. We struck very hard and very lethal. And nobody wants to talk about that. All they want to talk about is nonsense. It’s fake news,” obviously angrily.

“I have no idea what Signal is. I don’t care what Signal is,” Trump continued. “All I can tell you is it’s just a witch hunt, and it’s the only thing the press wants to talk about, because you have nothing else to talk about. Because it’s been the greatest 100-day presidency in the history of our country.”

The fat fuck also said there’s “good possibility that we could” seize Greenland “without military force” but that “I don’t take anything off the table” and that he didn’t care if Americans had to pay 25 percent more for new cars after all his tariffs come into effect. “CLARIFICATION: This article was updated to reflect that after the interview, an aide to Trump followed up with NBC News to say that Trump was referring to foreign car prices,” NBC wrote at the end of the article, lol. This as if domestic car prices won’t go up one way or another if foreign cars are more expensive.