Convicted felon President Trump will on Wednesday swear alcoholic former Fox News banshee Jeanine Pirro in as US Attorney for the District of Columbia, an extremely powerful position for which his previous pick, Ed Martin, couldn’t even get confirmed to in a Republican-majority Senate.

At a Tuesday night town hall event that his party’s leadership had months ago told him not to hold, Republican Nebraska Congressman Mike Flood admitted to a constituent that he did not actually read the entirety of the “Big Beautiful Bill” before he voted to pass it, NBC News reports.

Responding specifically to a question about the bill’s provision limiting the power of federal judges to enforce contempt rulings against parties for defying court orders, Flood said he believes “in the rule of law. I’ve taken an oath as an attorney, I’ve taken an oath as a state senator, I’ve taken an oath as a member of Congress, and I support our court system, and I do believe that the federal district courts, when issuing an injunction, should have legal effect. In fact, I relied upon that when the Biden administration was in place. The federal courts did a tremendous amount of good work.”

“This provision was unknown to me when I voted for the bill,” Flood added. As the moderator tried to move on to the next topic, Flood stopped her and said “I am not going to hide the truth. This provision was unknown to me when I voted for that, and when I found out that provision was in the bill, I immediately reached out to my Senate counterparts and told them of my concern.”

Great job trying to disown it, Mike. Things got even better from there, with Flood responding to one voter accusing him of being a fascist with “I get you get an applause line when you call me a fascist, but I’m not. I am not a fascist, I’m an American, and I would never call you something like that,” lol.

A new survey of Texas GOP primary voters by Texas Southern University’s Barbara Jordan Public Policy Research and Survey Center finds Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton leading “RINO” incumbent Senator John Cornhole Cornyn 43 to 34 percent in a head-to-head in the 2026 primary and 34 to 27 percent with Congressman Wesley Hunt at 15 percent in a hypothetical three-way.

The poll also tested Paxton and Cornyn in a general against Dem challengers and, unlike the pro-Cornyn Senate GOP PAC’s survey that found Paxton crushing Cornyn by 16 percent earlier this month but trailing 2024 loser former Congressman Collin Allred by 1 percent, this new TSU poll puts Paxton ahead of Allred by 48 to 46 percent versus Cornyn’s 48 to 44 percent over Allred. Former Congressmen Joaquin Castro and Beto O’Rourke weren’t any closer against either, which means the Democrats should figure out how to recruit either Matthew McConaughey or Tim Duncan to step up.

In related news, the Texas House Sergeant at Arms removed Paxton from the floor during Tuesday’s votes. He’s not authorized to be there during sessions, yet it was a “RINO” plot against him.

Real profile in courage here from former World Wrestling Entertainment CEO-turned-Secretary of Education Linda McMahon on whether incoming foreign student visa holders should be subject to having their social media histories examined before they can enter the US. First she says she’s leaving it up to the Departments of State and Homeland Security, then it’s a lot of mumbled bullshit about how the US might want to be more discerning on who they allowed in. Bonus points for Trump fanboy CNBC anchor Joe Kernen’s prefacing the question with slobbering the mushroom a bit by nodding to the Orange God Emperor’s negotiating acumen with “the other side.”

“Zackery Brandon Barfield, 31, of Panama City, Florida, was sentenced to 30 days’ imprisonment and ordered to pay a $51,000 fine for three counts of poisoning and shooting dolphins in violation of the Marine Mammal Protection Act and the Federal Insecticide, Fungicide and Rodenticide Act. The sentence was announced by Michelle Spaven, Acting United States Attorney for the Northern District of Florida. According to court filings and statements made in court, Barfield has been a licensed charter and commercial fishing captain in the Panama City area his entire adult life. From 2022-2023, he poisoned and shot bottlenose dolphins on multiple occasions,” says a Justice Department press release on what seems to be maybe just kind of a little light of a sentence.

“In the summer of 2022, Barfield grew frustrated with dolphins eating red snapper from the lines of his charter fishing clients. He began placing methomyl inside baitfish to poison the dolphins that surfaced near his boat. Methomyl is a highly toxic pesticide that acts on the nervous system of humans, mammals, and other animals, and is restricted by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to control flies in non-residential settings. Barfield recognized methomyl’s toxicity and impact on the environment but continued to feed poisoned baitfish to the dolphins for months. While captaining fishing trips in December 2022 and the summer of 2023, Barfield saw dolphins eating snapper from his client’s fishing lines. On both occasions, he used a 12-gauge shotgun to shoot the dolphins that surfaced near his vessel, killing one immediately. On other occasions, Barfield shot, but did not immediately kill, dolphins near his vessel. On one trip he shot a dolphin while two elementary-aged children were on board, and another with more than a dozen fisherman on board.”

Sources tell Axios that Trump Reichsminister of Racial Purity Stephen Miller and Dog Murderer Kristi Noem last week held a “tense meeting” with immigration enforcement officials in which the two demanded that ICE arrest 3,000 undocumented migrants a day, triple the number they cuffed during the first days of the new Trump regime. “Miller demanded that field office directors and special agents get arrest and deportation numbers up as much as possible, pointing to the waves of unauthorized immigrants who were able to enter during the Biden administration,” Axios writes.

There aren’t any direct quotes in the story about the May 21st meeting at ICE headquarters, a sign that the lowest-hanging fruit have already been picked clean and are having to push into places where things get more dicey politically for the regime, such as the labor situation in Vermont’s dairy country as described in a Boston Globe story printed the day after Miller’s rant.

“We had a border problem,” dairy farmer Dustin Machia told the Globe about how he was excited to vote for the convicted felon president. “We don’t want bad people in here. We don’t need the drugs and the gangbangers,” he continued and you already know where this is going as Machia was asked to comment on a wave of ICE arrests in his area. “All the dairy farmers who voted for Trump were under the impression they weren’t going to come on farms and take our guys. It’s happening more than we’d like. It’s scaring the farming community and we’re like, ‘This wasn’t supposed to happen.'”

In another one of the illuminating and passionate letters to the editors of Villages-News.com, MAGA Villager Sandy Cruty on Tuesday wrote that it’s “So amazing to see all the flags being flown for Memorial Day. Disgusting that there will be another protest about Trump. Grow up people. You didn’t see conservatives protesting sleepy Joe Biden, god knows there was a lot to protest. This country was in a mess and Trump is working day and night to fix it. So stand in the hot sun with your insulting signs and miss a good time in The Villages,” the link to the May 24th article “Villagers to join in ‘No Kings’ protest on Trump’s birthday,” apparently added by Cruty herself in her email.

It’s not clear if printing this letter and others like it is in itself an act of deliberate malice and contempt towards their readers by the staff at Villages-News, although that seems almost as plausible a motivation as an absence of one in that they blithely publish whatever doesn’t contain racial slurs and profanity. Without samples of their rejections it’s impossible to know for certain, but it’s just as difficult to imagine an editor of sound mind and who shares the same views looking at this and saying “Yeah, I agree. Those socialists are disgusting and no Trump voters ever protested ‘sleepy’ Joe Biden’s presidency. This is an extremely solid argument and it doesn’t make my fellow Trump voters look like childish simpletons constantly feeling victimized by everyone else.”

Could very well be that the editor instead just laughed audibly at the letter and published it to the website, understanding that whatever work might’ve been required in other contexts to make Trump voters come across as mentally damaged freaks had already been handed right to them in this one.

Complete piece of shit Wisconsin Senator Ron “RonAnon” Johnson is really upping the performative resistance to voting for convicted felon President Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” all but outright accusing the fat bastard of continuing to spend like President Joe Biden and the Dems did.

Ketamine brained billionaire Elon Musk in January was so “annoyed” with having younger, more wiry, tech bro Vivek Ramaswamy on the DOGE team that he called Ohio Governor Mike DeWine to ask him to help get ride of Da Vek by appointing him to the Senate seat about to be vacated by JD Vance.

That was the real reason, according to Politico. Musk actually began the call by telling DeWine he needed Ramaswamy to act as his “point-person” for DOGE in the Senate but within a few minutes admitted that Vivek annoys the shit out of him. DeWine appointed then-Lt Gov Jon Husted instead.

The embarrassing revelation about the limits of Musk’s influence comes just hours after the Washington Post printed an interview in which Ketamine Brain himself came to terms with it. “The federal bureaucracy situation is much worse than I realized. I thought there were problems, but it sure is an uphill battle trying to improve things in DC, to say the least,” Musk lamented.

“DOGE is just becoming the whipping boy for everything,” the spurned edgelord continued. “So, like, something bad would happen anywhere, and we would get blamed for it even if we had nothing to do with it… People were burning Teslas. Why would you do that? That’s really uncool.”

Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei tells Axios that artificial intelligence products like the ones his company sells could drive US unemployment up to 20 percent within the next one to five years by wiping out as much as half of all entry-level jobs in the tech, finance, law, and consulting industries.

Most lawmakers “are unaware that this is about to happen. It sounds crazy, and people just don’t believe it,” Amodei said, envisioning a world where “Cancer is cured, the economy grows at 10 percent a year, the budget is balanced – and 20 percent of people don’t have jobs.”

National Zero then asked Anthropic’s main consumer-facing product, Claude.ai, “How can I change the look of this environment to get rid of the Sepia tone and the serif text?” Its answer: “Look for a settings icon – This is typically located in the top-right corner of the interface, often represented by a gear icon or your profile picture.” Then further down in the response it said “The exact location of these settings can vary depending on whether you’re using Claude on web, mobile, or desktop. If you’re having trouble finding these options, you can also try: Looking for a menu button (three horizontal lines). Checking if there’s a settings option in a dropdown menu under your profile.”

Claude’s settings menu is in the bottom-left corner of the screen. There is no button with three horizontal lines to represent the it. It just says “Settings.” The font can be changed to sans serif.

A SpaceX launch suffered yet another “rapid unscheduled disassembly” during takeoff Tuesday night, the third in a row for Ketamine Brain’s aerospace concern, Bloomberg reports.

Must feel great Jake, knowing that a bunch of MAGA people probably downloaded bootleg copies of your Biden book and then the next time you piss them off with a question they’re going to hate you again. It’s not like they even particularly like you now. So congrats on that, kind of.

“I told Canada, which very much wants to be part of our fabulous Golden Dome System, that it will cost $61 Billion Dollars if they remain a separate, but unequal, Nation, but will cost ZERO DOLLARS if they become our cherished 51st State. They are considering the offer!” posted old man Trump on Tuesday, apparently now at the point of straight up lying about Canada being open to annexation.

Convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday pardoned Todd and Julie Chrisley, the douchebag reality TV couple who in 2022 were sentenced to 12 and 7 years in federal prison, respectively, after being convicted of numerous bank and tax fraud charges, Lawfare’s Anna Bower reports

New York City’s lousy right wing radio station 770 WABC on Tuesday put on a masterclass in burying the lede with a story headlined “Surprise find in a [Long Island] swimming pool,” written almost as if the article itself contains some “well what do you know” kind of whimsy and the pool’s owner woke up in the morning to find an alligator or crashed top-secret military drone in the water.

No. It was a fucking dead body. The article itself says “grisly discovery” because the pool in the backyard of the East Shoreham, Long Island home had been closed since last summer. “There’s talk,” writes WABC web article guy Noam Laden amateurishly, “the body might be that of Matthew Zoll, the 23-year-old fugitive who police say stabbed his father to death in their Rocky Point home last November. Police had searched the East Shoreham neighborhood last year looking for him, but to no avail. Cops have been mum on the identity of the body. Police thought Zoll was hiding out in the woods after the murder. The hunt, that began back on November 9th had neighbors uneasy.”

This writing is grisly. That Rocky Point is a mile or so west of East Shoreham might’ve been useful information for Laden to include. Wonder if he had ChatGPT punch it up for him before printing it.

As expected, complete dullard Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville on Tuesday launched his campaign for the governorship of his third-world country of a state, NBC News reports. It’s not clear if whoever runs to replace him will be dumber and more racist, but it’s Alabama, so probably.

“On May 21, 2025, at approximately 10:10 PM, the Osceola County Sheriff’s Office responded to a shooting incident at the Checkers restaurant at 5780 W Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, Kissimmee, FL. The shooting involved a customer, Wesley Robertson (victim), and an employee identified as twenty-three-year-old Elijah Travis Mackey (suspect). The investigation revealed that while working, Elijah Mackey engaged in a verbal dispute with Wesley Robertson regarding his food order. The confrontation escalated, leading Elijah Mackey to shoot Wesley Robertson. The victim was transported to Osceola Regional Medical Center, where he ultimately succumbed to his injuries.”

“On May 22, 2025, the Osceola County Sheriff’s Office Homicide Unit obtained an arrest warrant for Elijah Travis Mackey, charging him with first-degree premeditated murder. He was subsequently arrested and booked into the Osceola County Jail,” says the Osceola County, Florida Sheriff’s Office.

A witness told station WESH the fight started when Robertson asked for mayonnaise packets.

Vox populi, vox dei. CNBC reports that European sales of Teslas dropped 49 percent in April 2025 from the same month a year prior as the bill for Ketamine Brain’s fascist insanity came due.