Corrupt Picasso-faced piece of shit Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is considering mounting a primary challenge against Senator John Cornhole Cornyn in 2026, the Dallas Morning News reports on what’s sure to be an entertaining battle between two Republicans that already hate each other.

Like really hate each other. And now that Paxton doesn’t have to worry about federal prosecution anymore he’s free to get revenge on Cornyn for publicly mocking his criminal behavior. Any challenge would be a tall order money-wise as Cornyn’s a formidable fundraiser. But as a “RINO” and a Mitch McConnell ally he’s already pretty unpopular with MAGA and should Pax enter probably the absolute best Cornyn could hope for is for convicted felon President-Elect Trump to stay neutral.

Cornyn’s already declared his intent to run again, but Dallas-area right wing radio host Mark Davis said it all depends on how he handles himself over the next year or so with Trump’s batshit scumbag nominees. “If he is a good soldier, not an obstructionist, not an annoyance to the Trump agenda, then he’ll be very hard to beat, even by someone as popular as Ken Paxton,” said Davis. “If Cornyn obstructs Trump’s nominees and then proceeds to do other things that reveal a certain distance between him and Trump, that will be all Paxton needs to be motivated to take him on. There’s still no guarantee that it’ll be successful, but it’ll be a battle of the titans that’ll show where we are in 2026.”

We’d like to be able to say a Paxton win against Cornyn makes it easier for a Dem to win, but this is Texas we’re talking about. They freaking reelected that asshole twice when he was under criminal indictment for nine years until he weaseled his way out if it. If anything – and it’s gotta be a really bad year for the GOP, like worse than 2006 – then it’s probably Cornyn who’d be more vulnerable than Paxton, who can count on a shit ton of “grassroots” MAGA support when the chips are down.

“I am proud to announce that Massad Boulos will serve as Senior Advisor to the President on Arab and Middle Eastern affairs. Massad is an accomplished lawyer and a highly respected leader in the business world, with extensive experience on the International scene. He has been a longtime proponent of Republican and Conservative values, an asset to my Campaign, and was instrumental in building tremendous new coalitions with the Arab American Community. Massad is a dealmaker, and an unwavering supporter of PEACE in the Middle East. He will be a strong advocate for the US, and its interests, and I am pleased to have him on our team!” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Sunday. Boulos is the father of Tiffany Trump’s husband, whatever his stupid name is.

Fun fact: Boulos isn’t even a Muslim, he’s a Lebanese Christian, and thus probably isn’t the kind of guy all those Michigan voters who were furious with the Biden Administration over support for Israel were expecting. If anything he’s probably more of a “Gaza’s waterfront is valuable real estate” type.

CONGRATS Leftists and Free Palestine people! You got your revenge! You really stuck it to Biden!

"The objective here, obviously, is to reform the DOJ and the FBI and get it back to its mission of going after CRIMINALS," says Rep. @lawler4ny.

"That's what my hope is as the DOJ moves forward under Pam Bondi and the FBI under Kash Patel." pic.twitter.com/JnVpxMDSkt

— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) December 1, 2024

One has to wonder what the hell there is to be gained for convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s propaganda operation to be airing this Blackface-wearing dipshit saying he doesn’t “think the American people are interested in a revenge tour” even though the act of firing current FBI Director Chris Wray is by its very nature the start of that revenge tour. This is the whole point. It’s Deadpool & Wolverine levels of fan service to the MAGA base. Exactly what the shitbags voted for.

As expected, Wisconsin Democratic Party Chairman Ben Wikler on Sunday told the New York Times he’s making a bid to lead the national party, taking on Minnesota Dem chair Ken Martin, former Maryland Gov Martin O’Malley, and Jim Skoufis, a New York state senator nobody ever heard of.

“My platform in this race is unite, fight, win. Uniting starts not with recriminations but with reckoning and with curiosity and data. And then you use all that to inform the way that you fight the next battle,” Wikler said in the interview with the Times, who noted he did not answer a question about how much support he already has among the national party’s delegates. Kind of important as Martin claims he’s already wrangled 83 out of the 448 voting delegates for the February 1st chair election.

That said, Wikler probably isn’t too far behind O’Malley in name recognition given his profile and if you put it strictly in terms of Ws and Ls his record leading the party since 2019 is solid if not sterling. He couldn’t unseat piece of shit Senator Ron “RonAnon” Johnson in 2022 and obviously convicted felon President-Elect Trump flipped the Badger State back red this year, but those were both very narrow losses (in fact Wisconsin was Kamala Harris’s closest defeat). The wins include 2020 for Biden, successful defenses for Gov Tony Evers and Senator Tammy Baldwin, and, most significantly within Wisconsin, two state Supreme Court seats that flipped the bench from 5-2 conservative to 4-3 liberal, a new majority which broke the extreme GOP-rigged gerrymanders in the state legislature.

So Dems could do worse for a new captain at the helm. We’ve yet to hear the other guys make their cases to lead the party, but Wikler’s record – and age, at 43 – make it hard to argue against him.

The Pete Hegseth-less Fox and Friends weekend crew on Sunday were thrilled by convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s announcement that he’ll fire FBI Director Chris Wray and replace him with shitty children’s book author/conspiracy freak Kash Patel, simply because it triggers all the libtards and is “making so many of the right people nervous” about a systemic destruction of the top federal law enforcement agency as revenge for all the criminal investigations into Trump and his minions.

International megacorporation/coffee chain Starbucks on Friday opened the doors to what’s perhaps its most artillery fire-prone location, a new outpost located in the Aegibong Peace Ecopark atop a hill overlooking the demilitarized zone stretching across the Korean peninsula and the Potemkin Village sitting directly across in the communist northern half, the Associated Press reports.

Officials in the South Korean city of Gimpo said hosting Starbucks was part of efforts to develop the area as a tourist destination and said the shop symbolizes “robust security on the Korean Peninsula through the presence of this iconic capitalist brand,” and yeah this is a troll to the commies.

“I am proud to announce that Kashyap ‘Kash’ Patel will serve as the next Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Kash is a brilliant lawyer, investigator, and “America First” fighter who has spent his career exposing corruption, defending Justice, and protecting the American People. He played a pivotal role in uncovering the Russia, Russia, Russia Hoax, standing as an advocate for truth, accountability, and the Constitution. Kash did an incredible job during my First Term, where he served as Chief of Staff at the Department of Defense, Deputy Director of National Intelligence, and Senior Director for Counterterrorism at the National Security Council. Kash has also tried over 60 jury trials. This FBI will end the growing crime epidemic in America, dismantle the migrant criminal gangs, and stop the evil scourge of human and drug trafficking across the Border. Kash will work under our great Attorney General, Pam Bondi, to bring back Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity to the FBI,” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Saturday.

“I am pleased to nominate Charles Kushner, of New Jersey, to serve as the US Ambassador to France. He is a tremendous business leader, philanthropist, and dealmaker, who will be a strong advocate representing our Country and its interests. Charlie is the Founder and Chairman of Kushner Companies, one of the largest and most successful privately held Real Estate firms in the Nation. He was recognized as New Jersey Entrepreneur of the Year by Ernst and Young, appointed to the US Holocaust Memorial Council, and served as a Commissioner, and Chairman, of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, as well as on the Boards of our top institutions, including NYU.”

“Congratulations to Charlie, his wonderful wife Seryl, their 4 children, and 14 grandchildren. His son, Jared, worked closely with me in the White House, in particular on Operation Warp Speed, Criminal Justice Reform, and the Abraham Accords. Together, we will strengthen America’s partnership with France, our oldest Ally, and one of our greatest!” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump as he named convicted felon Charles Kushner to an extremely kushy ambassadorship.

“An automobile collision claimed the life of a Marlboro County man today in Darlington County. George Garner II, 49, of McColl, SC died when the vehicle he was driving collided head on with a truck. The incident occurred on Hwy 34 in Mechanicsville around 2:40 PM,” wrote Darlington County, South Carolina coroner J Todd Hardee on his Facebook page on Tuesday. It’s his personal profile so in between official announcements there’s also “Go Tigers!” and telling people to stop by the Kitsler-Hardee Funeral Home for a free “AMERICAN ARMED FORCES” 2025 calendar.

“Mr Garner was the Mayor of McColl, SC and had recently been re-elected. The incident is under investigation by The Darlington County Coroner and the SCHP MAIT team. When the incident occurred Mr Garner was being pursued by a Marlboro County Deputy. The pursuit was not related to any laws being broken. The pursuit was taking place in an effort to protect the well being of Mr Garner. I will make a ruling on the manner of this death in the coming days. Please keep this family, and the fine folks in our neighboring Marlboro County in your prayers,” continued the coroner, emphasis ours on that very weird part about the Marlboro deputy chasing Garner to protect him.

Per the Independent, Garner plowed into an oncoming 18-wheeler just days after the entire police force in McColl resigned over what the now-former chief said was “unwarranted and malicious behavior aimed at undermining my integrity and leadership… These actions have not only affected me personally but have also created a toxic atmosphere that has hindered the department’s ability to function effectively,” leaving the town of about 1,900 without any local law enforcement.

ICYMI @PeteHegseth’s mom sent him a “you are behaving very badly” email during his divorce (she’s a good mom!) and the NYT is ALL IN on it. Next we will hear from his aunt who accused him of being late in sending his thank you cards after Christmas six years ago.

— Megyn Kelly (@megynkelly) November 30, 2024

From an email written on April 30, 2018 to Trump’s Secretary of Defense pick Pete Hegseth by his own mother, Penelope Hegseth, obtained by the New York Times:

Seems like kind of a feature and not a bug and all those other cliches about Trump’s crew.

• This is the weirdest of Fridays.  It’s like a Saturday because Thanksgiving feels something like a workday, but it’s also Sunday-ish because it’s the second consecutive day off from work.  But it is Friday and here we are.
• These aren’t even MAGA C-listers.  The A-listers were the first appointed in the first term.  The B-listers replaced them when they inevitably left office.  The C-listers were the ones who initially defended him in his various legal cases, and then dropped out.  Now, these remaining remoras are getting government posts.
• Enjoy the last White House holiday with any sophistication and class.  With Melania not moving to DC for a second term, Alina Habba will probably get the honor of decorating the nation’s most historic residence next year.
• During a pre-Black Friday Black Friday sale, a tea company advertised itself as “100% plant-based,” which makes me wonder why they think that was important to declare.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCII”

In what legal experts say is unprecedented, Elon Musk’s dead-named Twitter has refused to confirm that it will turn over the social media accounts for Jones’s Infowars businesses, including the companies linked to Jones’s diet supplement sales, CNN reports.  Musk’s attorneys argue that according to the platform’s terms of service, accounts cannot be sold and remain the property of Twitter–whose Twitter handle was sold to Musk along with the rest of the assets of the company when he bought them.

All Infowars assets were sold to the parent company of the satire site The Onion, which was backed by some of the Sandy Hook parents to whom Jones owes hundreds of millions of dollars.  They bought the company in a bankruptcy sale, coming in as a dark horse in the auction to take the company from Jones backers who were going to allow Jones to continue to broadcast.  An alleged appointee in the incoming administration, Musk’s company would be leveraging a previously unchallenged ability of the court to decide what property can and cannot be seized in a bankruptcy.

Days after the FBI reported a number of designees to the incoming administration received threats, House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries said at least four Democratic Congress members from New England received bomb threats or swatting attempts, according to the Washington Post.  Jeffries said the threats were “all signed with ‘MAGA’ at the conclusion of the message.”

Connecticut Democrats Rosa DeLauro, Jahana Hayes and Jim Himes and Congressman Seth Magaziner of Rhode Island said in separate statements that they were individually targeted with bomb threats over the Thanksgiving holiday.  Authorities investigated and determined all to be hoaxes.  It’s possible that the sources of these are foreign actors, like the Russian-linked ones who made multiple threats to voting locations in the November election.

Confirmed bachelor Senator Lindsey Graham tells Axios that convicted felon President-Elect Trump wants to take credit for a ceasefire and hostage release deal in Gaza since he already milked the genocidal war that has left tens of thousands of civilians dead to help himself return to power.

“Trump is more determined than ever to release the hostages and supports a ceasefire that includes a hostage deal. He wants to see it happening now. I want people in Israel and in the region to know that Trump is focused on the hostages issue. He wants the killing to stop and the fighting to end… I hope President Trump and the Biden administration will work together during the transition period to release the hostages and get a ceasefire,” said Lindsey, leaving out the part that “more determined than ever” actually means “more determined than he was before the election” because then the fat fuck wouldn’t have been able to take credit for Netanyahu finally relenting on this shitshow.

Then again in reality Trump could probably care less if Gazans continue to suffer and die. Lindsey’s either full of shit or delusional if he thinks it still matters to Trump after he won with the help of significantly softer support for Kamala Harris from Arab American voters in Michigan.

A man identified by neighbors as a member of the wealthy Rothschild banking family was killed in a fire in his Hollywood Hills, California home early Wednesday, KABC reports on a tragedy that leads us to speculate that QAnon fans are speculating that somehow the family’s fire-causing space lasers were hacked and the energy beam redirected at one of its owners with lethal precision.

“It is very sad,” neighbor Jim Moore said of the deceased, Will Rothschild. “He was a good guy. A good neighbor.” The parties whom QAnon conspiracy freaks will deem responsible for the hacking are unknown at this point, however it cannot be ruled out that somehow convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s “white hats” and “digital soldiers” took control of the space laser on his orders.

Indicted former Brazilian dictator Jair Bolsonaro tells the Wall Street Journal he’s plotting a comeback and counting on convicted felon President-Elect Trump to help topple current President Luiz Lula to help make it happen with economic sanctions against the country.

“It’s time for MAAGA – Make All Americas Great Again,” said Bolsonaro, banned from office until 2030, already indicted on multiple felonies and facing a shit ton more after attempting to flee to Hungary and police have obtained recordings of him plotting a coup after his 2022 defeat to Lula.

This image has nothing to do with the content of this “article,” yet it’s still appropriate.

Well it’s Thanksgiving and lots of people have to sit at the dinner table with relatives of certain persuasion, relatives whom might be a little extra fucking insufferable and smug after they feel like “they” won this year. We’ve already done that joke guide on how to argue with them on at least one of the four previous Thanksgivings this site has been around for. Probably two actually.

Instead we recommend a tact like this: “Uncle Marty, I’m so happy for you. You’ve come so far personally since last Thanksgiving, before you went to AA then stopped and now you’re off the wagon again. Janet cleaned you out in the divorce and went back to the Philippines but you seem so much happier with, um, what’s the other 23 year-old’s name again? Yekaterina, yes. And above all else the election seems to be really brightening up your spirits. And yes, you were so right about Joe Biden’s economy and I’ve come around to see the light of America First. I’m really looking forward to unemployment going to zero, gross domestic product shooting up to 7 percent, and gas going down to $1.83 a gallon nationally. Also my electricity bill cut in half. That’s really been out of hand lately. So when should I expect that? Is it going to be in February or March? April at the latest, right?”

Well you guys are smart, you can mix it up. Talk about the murder rate and how you expect it to be zero by next summer. That McDonald’s better drop the price of a Big Mac meals back down to 2019 levels within a few months or you’re going to report Yekaterina to ICE. But be subtle with the threat.

With just one race left uncalled in the US House as the AP on Wednesday handed Iowa’s 1st District to incumbent Republican Mariannette Miller-Meeks over Dem challenger Christina Bohannan by 798 ballots, the GOP are looking into why the hell they lost (probably) a net two seats to the Ds despite the first popular vote win for a Republican presidential candidate in two decades, with some pointing to Libertarian spoiler efforts in several key swing seats as a major factor, Politico reports.

In three districts there were right wing spoilers whose vote share was larger than the margin of the Democrat’s win: Ohio Libertarian Tom Pruss took 14,799 votes in the 9th District, far larger than longtime incumbent Marcy Kaptur’s 1,193 vote edge over Republican challenger Derek Merrin. In North Carolina’s 1st District, freshman Dem Don Davis beat Republican Laurie Buckout by 6,303 votes while Libertarian Tom Bailey took 9,949. Dem Janelle Bynum ousted Oregon 5th District GOP Congresswoman Lori Chavez-Deremer by 9,475 votes, which was larger than Libertarian Sonja Feintech’s 6,033 vote share but a fourth candidate, independent Brett Smith, took 18,233 votes.

Politico identified spending by two groups key for late ad pushes boosting the three Libertarian spoilers: In the Ohio race it was $423,263 from the Voter Protection Project, founded by Dem former House candidate Andrew Janz. Save Western Culture, a mysterious outfit registered at a UPS Store box in Massachusetts, dropped $46,348. In Oregon’s 5th both groups spent a total of $371,340.

Both chambers of India’s parliament were suspended Thursday just minutes after calling to order when, for the third day in a row, opposition lawmakers demanded inquiries into dictator Narendra Modi’s links to the Adani Group and specifically why it’s the US Justice Department rather than Indian prosecutors looking into the shady billionaire and the center of the outfit, Reuters reports.

Mega-rich asshole Gautam Adani, nephew Sagar Adani, and managing director of Adani’s Green division, Vneet S Jaain, are accused in New York’s Eastern District of a scheme to pay bribes of $265 million to secure solar power contracts in India, and lying to US investors about the venture.

“We want a discussion on this in parliament. It is going to be the third day that we are demanding a reply from the prime minister” on the Adani issue, said Manickam Tagore, a lawmaker with the opposition Congress party, which has been leading the protests against the Adani cartel and accusing the Modi’s majority Bharatiya Janata Party of blocking investigation’s into Adani’s fuckery.

For their part, the BJP aren’t defending the Adani crew’s fuckery while not trashing them either. “Let him defend himself,” BJP spokesworm Gopal Agarwal said on Tuesday after the indictment dropped.