Our Black Friday sale is coming soon! 🛍️

Grab all of your favorite merch for 25% off storewide starting Black Friday and ending Sunday, December 1. https://t.co/KnDTC7GBPx

— The Democrats (@TheDemocrats) November 26, 2024

Alcoholic shitbrain Rudy Giuliani on Tuesday erupted in a Manhattan federal court as a judge set a date for a trial to determine whether former Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shae Moss can collect his Florida condo and four Yankees’ World Series wins, the AP reports.

The outburst came after District Judge Lewis Liman needled one of Rudy’s lawyers over what the hell his malfunction is when it comes to the Mercedes he still hasn’t handed over to the defamed mother-daughter duo yet. “Your client was the US attorney for this district,” said Liman, remarking on why Rudy seems incapable of producing an automotive title. Not for nothing, but has this judge ever watched an episode of Rudy’s podcasts? The guy’s out of his fucking mind and it’s a small miracle he showed up to court wearing clothes rather than polka-dot boxers.

Anyway the drunken former New York City mayor didn’t appreciate the judge giving him the benefit of the doubt, leaning forward into the mic to say that he had ordered another copy of the title. “The implication I’ve been not diligent about it is totally incorrect,” Giuliani said in what the AP describes as a “scolding tone” with the judge. “The implication you make is against me and every implication against me is wrong… I’m not impoverished. Everything I have is tied up. I don’t have a car. I don’t have a credit card. I don’t have cash. I can’t get to bank accounts that truly would be mine because they have put stop orders on, for example, my Social Security account, which they have no right to do,” even though Freeman and Moss actually kind of do since Rudy owes them $147 million.

Farming industry lobbyists are praying for convicted felon President-Elect Trump to give their workforce a sweeping pass on the fat fuck’s promise of mass deportations given that as many as half of an estimated two million laborers in agriculture are undocumented, Reuters reports.

“We need the certainty, reliability and affordability of a workforce program and programs that are going to allow us to continue to deliver food from the farm to the table,” said John Hollay, director of government relations at the International Fresh Produce Association, a lobbying cartel. Hollay and others commenting for the Reuters and a similar Los Angeles Times story urged for the new Trump Reich to expand the H2-A via program that allows farms to hire seasonal foreign labor.

“Most farmers are realizing that they’re going to need to implement the H-2A program at some level to assure that they have labor,” said Steve Scaroni, founder of FreshHarvest, a recruiting firm for guest workers. “Because we just don’t know what the deportation is going to look like.”

Do they also have any fucking idea what the H-2A program is going to look like? Seriously, they’re counting on whatever office at INS that runs it still being there in six months when, at a moment’s notice, Stephen Miller could just get Trump to fire everyone who works on processing those visas, killing it off by default without having to bother with any legal or legislative work. This is how most of these lobbyists are comforting themselves. The LA Times describes California farmers, a pro-Trump demo, as similarly not “railing in protest” of the promised raids and roundups. “Many say they expect the president will support their workforce needs, either through a robust legalization program for workers already here or by leaving farms be and focusing enforcement elsewhere,” the Times writes.

Trump's pick for Surgeon General, Janette Nesheiwat, promoted masking children. Is this who we want? pic.twitter.com/FKSJwBjEJ3

— Dinesh D'Souza (@DineshDSouza) November 26, 2024

Looks like having recommended children wear masks to prevent them from getting infected with COVID-19 is more likely to disqualify a nominee from serving in the Trump Administration than being credibly accused of having raped a woman in hotel room and having white nationalist tattoos.

And at first that looks like a sarcastic or hyperbolic rejoinder but actually no. It’s really what Dinesh said, if simply by omission. He really has a bigger issue with the masks than he does the rape and the Nazi shit. Whether or not he realized it before posting this is anyone’s guess, but it’s quite possible this was the one single clip of Nesheiwat promoting masking he could find and there was no way to do it without Pete Hegseth’s chiseled Aryan face appearing in it too.

In a stunning win for the real America, gargantuan national retailer Walmart on Tuesday announced they were giving up on promoting diversity, equity, and inclusion in the workplace, the Washington Examiner reports on more dirt being shoveled gleefully onto corporate wokeness’s coffin.

“The retailer employs 1.6 million people and will become the largest company in the United States to eliminate its DEI programs. Walmart will no longer refer to a prominent LGBT rights index to help with hiring decisions, it will stop prioritizing suppliers based on diversity, and it won’t continue to use the phrase ‘DEI,'” the Examiner writes. No more LGBT rights index, no more use of “DEI.” Checkmate libs.

It’s not clear however whether employees can call coworkers and customers by the N-word, the bundle of sticks word for gay men, the S-word for Latinos, “retard,” any of the various slurs for people of East Asian descent, “hook-nosed” to refer to Jews, and so on without fear of being fired by management. Our guess is probably not though. In fact saying any of those things even without referring to anyone in particular in almost all circumstances will probably result in termination.

Also a pretty safe bet that if anyone is caught hanging a noose in a Black coworker’s locker or making a swastika out of electrical tape and putting it on a Jewish coworker’s vest would also likely be immediately dismissed, possibly even banned from the store for life. All of this is to raise the question of what the anti-DEI crusaders think they’ve won here. Sure they’ve trimmed a lot out of the HR handbook and probably saved the average employee from an hour or two of having to sit through some “sensitivity training,” but is the spirit of the letters “DEI” truly dead here? Can a 46 year-old white man safely wear a Klan hood to work collecting shopping carts in the parking lot?

Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum on Tuesday told reporters her government will respond in-kind to convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s threat to impose 25 percent tariffs on all imports from the US’s southern neighbor by imposing tariffs of her own, per Reporte Indigo.

“It is not with threats or tariffs that we will address the migration phenomenon, or drug consumption in the United States, what is required is cooperation and mutual understanding to face these great challenges. One tariff will be followed by another in response, and so on until we put common enterprises at risk,” said Sheinbaum, plainly ready to help Trump find out if he fucks around.

Oh baby. https://t.co/DD8LKbAYEQ

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) November 26, 2024

A new Harris/Guardian survey finds 69 percent of respondents understand that convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s plan to implement tariffs will inflict higher prices on Americans. By partisanship, 79 percent of Dem and 68 percent of independent respondents get it, with of course a lower number – but still a majority at 59 percent – of Republicans realizing what’s about to happen.

Overall nearly the same percentage, 62 percent, of respondents said that tariffs will have a significant effect on what they can afford in 2025. Another 44 percent said they’re making big purchases now so they don’t have to pay more when the second Trump Reich comes to power.

The Chinese Embassy in DC on Monday warned that convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s stated intent to impose a 35 percent tariff on all exports would be disastrous, Reuters reports.

“About the issue of US tariffs on China, China believes that China-US economic and trade cooperation is mutually beneficial in nature,” Chicom Embassy Spokesworm Liu Pengyu said in a statement. “No one will win a trade war or a tariff war,” Liu continued, adding “All these prove that the idea of China knowingly allowing fentanyl precursors to flow into the United States runs completely counter to facts and reality,” in response to the fat fuck’s deranged post on Monday evening claiming that the tariffs would stop fentanyl from being shipped out of China.

Trump wrote that “China told me that they would institute their maximum penalty, that of death, for any drug dealers caught doing this but, unfortunately, they never followed through, and drugs are pouring into our Country, mostly through Mexico, at levels never seen before. Until such time as they stop, we will be charging China an additional 10 percent Tariff, above any additional Tariffs, on all of their many products coming into the United States of America. Thank you for your attention to this matter,” and now finally the fucking media scrutinizes this stupid story he’s been telling for months.

An Akron, Ohio judge on Monday sentenced a man to 9 to 12 years in the joint for shooting another man in the face for refusing to share his potato chips, the Akron Beacon Journal reports on Melvin Wright’s next adventure after pleading guilty to attempted murder over the November 2023 incident.

The brand and specific flavor of potato chips was not mentioned in the article. Like of course it was excessive, because who the hell shoots someone else over goddamned potato chips? However, we’re talking about scale here. If it was just plain Ruffles then yeah, it was really excessive. Those are greasy as hell and simply fuck up your mouth. Plain Lays too. Not as bad on your mouth but still just garbage. Either of those in BBQ flavor is just masking the shittiness. Sour cream and onion masks the shittiness too, however it does a much better job of it. Still can’t eat too many though.

Now if this was a bag of some “kettle chips” like Cape Cod or some other white people brand? Okay, it’s still attempted murder and a horrible crime to shoot a guy in the freaking face – excessive any way you slice it. Just maybe slightly less so. And then if there’s a sea salt plus malt vinegar flavor involved? It’s like 90, 95 percent as excessive as it would’ve been if it were Lays or Ruffles or Utz or, ugh, Wise as the baseline here. And 125 percent excessive if it was those fucking “Andy Capp Fries.”

Good God those suck. And technically those aren’t “chips” anyway unless you’re British. Oh and fuck those “Pop Chips.” Those are so goddamned lame it should’ve been an automatic life sentence.

The headline’s really not that much of an exaggeration. This very, very, just off-looking fella Tim Murtaugh on Monday insisted that convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s pending return to power is making Americans more open about their love for Christmas, solely based on the story of one freelance holiday decoration installer who told Murtaugh that business has been booming since November 6th… Not even sure what to write about that. If the guy just made it about simple fake-ass consumer confidence then that’s one stupid thing but why else would Christmas decorations start going up in November? Could it be due to something the next month? Holy shit.

DC Circuit Judge Tanya Chutkan on Monday dismissed the post-2020 election coup attempt case against convicted felon President-Elect Trump without prejudice, meaning that the prosecution can be revived. Whether an appellate court could override the prejudice aspect of the dismissal or if the statute of limitations can be tolled until 2029, we don’t know. That Chutkan granted Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s prejudice-free request would seem to indicate that the door would still be open to hauling a nearly 83 year-old bloated orange dementia patient into court.

Convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s lawyers are conducting their own internal investigation into whether other lawyer, indicted piece of shit Boris Epshteyn is selling access to their boss, somebody leaked to CNN so the message would get out and presumably Epshteyn could be knifed.

What the fuck, lol. The headline of the story is literally “Trump lawyers investigate allegations that top aide sought financial gain from influence with president-elect, sources say,” written as if this is something new and verboten inside the fat fuck’s crew of misfits and dipshits. Might as well be about Barry Bonds accusing Jose Canseco of using steroids for Christ’s sake. Michael Cohen testified that he raked in millions for doing basically nothing while billing it as “consulting” and everyone was like “Yeah, no shit Trump runs a tight ship of corruption and bribery.”

For those actually interested in the specifics, the accusation is that Epshteyn is shaking down some donor or whoever for $100,000 a month to get access to Trump. If anything that’s a piker rate and maybe Boris’s relative modesty is what so inflamed whoever leaked this. In all seriousness however, Epshteyn and Elon Musk have been butting heads lately so here’s CNN carrying the water for Ketamine Brain or someone in his faction of the Orange God Emperor’s court, maybe Don Jr and Eric.

There’s also the whole Russian-ness of this, and not just because Epshteyn’s a Russian immigrant. If you’re one of Putin’s guys you can fuck around all you want – until a rival gains his favor and accuses you of some transgression, real or imagined. Then you’re lucky if all that happens is your business gets appropriated. If not then you get tossed in the gulag – or out an upper-story window.

NBC News just broke in to announce "Special Counsel Jack Smith just filed a motion to dismiss the federal criminal case against the president-elect."

This is a MASSIVE WIN for the rule of law. pic.twitter.com/2lkzsE2v1t

— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) November 25, 2024

You hear that libtards? “THE RULE OF LAW” just won over lawlessness and anarchy or government overreach or Antifa who secretly staged the Capitol insurrection. Get used to more such winning.

In giving up the ghost against convicted felon President-Elect Trump, soon-to-be-former Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith on Monday requested that Judge Chutkan dismiss the four counts against the fat fuck without prejudice, writing “consistent with the temporary nature of the immunity afforded a sitting President, it does not require dismissal with prejudice…(‘immunity from prosecution for a sitting President would not preclude such prosecution once the President’s term is over or he is otherwise removed from office by resignation or impeachment’). This outcome is not based on the merits or strength of the case against the defendant,” which we guess is Smith leaving the door open to going after King Donald again in 2029. There’s always the hope, right?

“Jimmy Patronis, Chief Financial Officer for the Great State of Florida, has done a tremendous job as CFO, where he also serves as the State’s Fire Marshall, and as an important member of the Florida Cabinet. I hear that Jimmy is now considering launching a Campaign for Congress in Florida’s 1st Congressional District! A fourth generation Floridian from the beautiful Panhandle, and [blah blah blah]… Should he decide to enter this Race, Jimmy Patronis has my Complete and Total Endorsement. RUN, JIMMY, RUN!” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Monday.

What did Patronis do to earn this coveted honor? Our guess is when he announced he wanted to set up a fund that would cover Trump’s legal bills with taxpayer money. That probably did it.

UPDATE 11/25/2024 1:09 PM EST: Patronis accepted, tweeting “Put me to work, Mr President! I am ready to serve,” thus for a long time, probably forever, closing the door on a Gaetz comeback.

You will not be shocked to learn that, according to a lawsuit filed Monday by a former dancer with the culty extremist performance troupe, Shen Yun is a human trafficking operation that forces vulnerable children to work its shows for little to no pay, the New York Times reports.

Former dancer Chang Chun-Ko, 28, filed the complaint in a White Plains, New York federal court, alleging that Shen Yun, an organization of the dissident Falun Gong cult that also runs the MAGA propaganda outlet/money laundering front Epoch Times, forces obedience from its dancers through confiscating their passports, isolating them from outside media, accusing them of being ChiCom spies for asking questions, and humiliating them in front of the rest of the troupe.

Chang says she was recruited into Shen Yun from her native Taiwan in at the age of 13 in 2009, managing to leave in 2020 and settle in New York. While she’s the only plaintiff currently, Chang seeks to have the case certified as a class action against the “forced labor enterprise.”

Future US Attorney General Pam Bondi did not comment for the story, but if she was asked whether her she would open a criminal investigation into Shen Yun the answer would probably be “Lol, no.”

Convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s FCC nominee on Monday told batshit idiot Maria Bartiromo he’s pumped to do what he can to thwart George Soros’s purchase of the Audacy radio network.

Pro-Russian Romanian ultranationalist Calin Georgescu, who was kicked out of another far right party for praising an early 20th century antisemitic fascist movement called the Iron Guard, took the lead in the first round of the country’s presidential election on Sunday, the BBC reports.

Georgescu took 22.94 percent of the vote, followed by liberal reformist candidate Elena Lasconi on 19.18 percent, with center-left Prime Minister Marcel Ciolacu in third at 19.15 percent, trailing by just 2,700 votes. Another hard-right candidate, George Simion – who leads the Alliance for the Union of Romanians from which Georgescu was expelled – trailed in fourth with 13.86 percent support.

Simion on Monday conceded and urged his fans to support Georgescu in the runoff being held on December 8th. Though the normie candidates’ combined share adds up to 38.33 percent, narrowly ahead of the far right combo’s 36.8 percent, the path is much clearer for Georgescu given weak support for Lasconi’s Save Romania Union in rural areas – if Ciolacu even endorses Lasconi.

Georgescu’s platform might as well have been written by a cheap Kremlin-funded knockoff of ChatGPT: He’s argued that the EU and NATO do not properly represent Romanian interests and claimed Russia’s war in Ukraine was manipulated by American military companies. In 2022, Georgescu claimed the US anti-missile shield located in the southern Romanian village of Deveselu is part of a confrontation policy and not a peaceful measure, a line word-for-word taken from Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. The candidate himself claimed at the time that he’s had no support from Russia but an affinity for its culture, describing Putin as “a man who loves his country.”

In an article titled “Ashley Madison reveals top 20 American cities for scandalous, adulterous behavior this winter,” the dating site for fucking-around-the-side’s Chief Strategy Officer Paul Keable assures Fox News that their readers need not travel to warmer climes to fuck around this winter as many of the best metros for extramarital sex-seeking users lie well within the snow belt.

“It’s a really interesting time of the year as we walk into winter and what a lot of online daters like to refer to as ‘cuffing season,’ where you try to lock down a partner for the colder months. We at Ashley Madison wanted to take a look at our data to see where affairs are more likely to potentially happen this coming winter,” said Keable and this article is seriously a fucking infomercial for goddamned Ashley Madison, lol. “What’s fascinating, the top hot spots for the cold nights are certainly in a lot of the warm weather spots with four of the top five places landing in Florida, including Miami, Orlando and Tampa, with Las Vegas dropping in at number three But when you drill down a little bit beyond the top five, you start to see that a lot of winter hot spots and possibly some après-ski areas are going to be the highlight of activity for a lot of online married daters this winter.”

Noting the Skyline Chili City’s placement in the fifth spot, Keable describes Cincinnati as “a perfect encapsulation of why our business exists. It’s not a hotbed of traditional dating activity in the winter, people would assume because it’s colder weather, you’re going to get a lot of snow. But what it shows you is that typical middle America, average blue-collar people are looking for things outside of the traditional norms of monogamy,” and holy shit dude just admit this article is payola.