Republican lawmakers are reportedly considering health care changes to help fund the war in Iran and Immigration and Customs Enforcement. https://t.co/Jk8VbwHbOm

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) March 30, 2026

Several dozen January 6 MAGA insurrectionists have filed a class-action lawsuit against the federal government, alleging that the US Capitol Police and the DC Metropolitan Police Department “indiscriminately” fired chemical munitions, pepper spray and other projectiles into a crowd gathered on the Capitol’s west side when they were trying to storm into the building and kill every single member of the legislative branch as well as lynch the then-Vice President, Scripps News reports.

It’s not clear yet how many tens of billions of dollars the government will pay out in a settlement and how quickly it will be reached if it has not been reached already. Friday might be pushing it.

Any outcome that is not a swift, massive payout to the plaintiffs will be seen as an unacceptable betrayal of those who risked their lives – and died – trying to overturn Trump’s 2020 loss.

A deer cull that had aimed to wipe out 400 of the ungulates in the towns of Southfield, Farmington, and Farmington Hills in the Detroit area was a complete fucking failure as USDA sharpshooters killed only 70 white-tails during this year’s hunt, the Detroit Observer and Eccentric reports

“Our city and our region continue to face challenges from deer–vehicle collisions, property damage, and ecological impacts,” Farmington Hills Acting City Manager Karen Mondora said. “This first‑year regional deer management effort is one part of a long‑term strategy that also includes education, enforcement, and ongoing evaluation of additional tools. Because deer move freely across municipal boundaries, a coordinated regional approach is essential,” Mondora continued, the very polished language serving only to heighten awareness of the sad, low-energy effort.

The President of the Central African Republic was sworn in for a third term on Monday after an election result disputed by the opposition, a News Website reported. The President, with the first lady at his side, the was sworn in by a judge during a grand ceremony in the Capital City.

The Central African Republic President wore a suit and a tie to the ceremony. He then addressed supporters of his Political Party with a speech promising a bright future for Central African Republicans and a strong defense against threats from the Rebel Group. Tensions with the Rebel Group may have been exacerbated by the election result disputed by losing candidate from National Opposition Party, whose base of power is in Disputed Ethnic Minority-Dominated Region, far from the Capital City. The President may need to call Army General to violently quell unrest in Disputed Ethnic Minority-Dominated Region and execute Religious Leaders and other Opposition Dissidents.

Still key to the future of the Central African Republic is to increase production of agricultural products such as food, rocks such as minerals, and manufactured goods like products. That way more people will have a greater quantity of Central African Republic currency, known as money.

Now-former top CBP official Greg Bovino refused to hand over his official Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram accounts – which combined for 850,000 followers though there was no doubt plenty of overlap – even after he officially left government service earlier this month so the Trump Regime seized control of them and shut them down last week, the Washington Examiner reports.

“Chief Patrol Agent Bovino has retired from federal service and no longer has access to official government social media accounts,” an official wrote to the Examiner, lol. It’s not clear why Bovino wanted to hang onto the accounts – one of which was Bovino’s command post, CBP El Centro, before he renamed it for himself – but it’s not hard to guess that he wanted to hang onto his following for a podcasting career or whatever now that he’s been ousted as the official scapegoat.

In a tweet, an Examiner reporter quotes a DHS official shittalking Bovino over the social media account turf war in which Corey Lewandowski had allowed Greg to do whatever he wanted with the accounts. “Corey prevented the Commissioner from taking any action against Bovino, so that just empowered Bovino and his ego even more. Ever wonder why [CBP] put boats on the river in Chicago? Bovino was willing to make agents literal sitting ducks just for the photo op,” said the source.

.@GovChristie is right about one thing, we did clean house. What he calls “obliterating” DOJ, the American people call restoring justice. His fake outrage is just a “bridge” too far. https://t.co/vhhzXkQ5Zi

— Todd Blanche (@DAGToddBlanche) March 29, 2026

The only thing being obliterated is the institutionalized weaponization of justice, ie the deep state… or did I have it wrong when I uncovered that a political party in the 21st century bought and paid for false political trash intel from a washed out foreign ‘source’, only to… https://t.co/N4k1cCchiT

— FBI Director Kash Patel (@FBIDirectorKash) March 30, 2026

The Florida GOP did what they do best on Monday and called for the chair of the Hernando County Democratic Party, Brian Stewart, to be removed from his post after what had to be a pretty minor tussle with a counter-protestor during Saturday’s No Kings demonstrations in Tampa, WTSP reports.

Stewart, 63, was booked into the Hernando County Jail at 12:46 pm Saturday for battery and released just before 3 pm, not enough time for a baloney sandwich. Hence the “had to be.”

“Violence and political intimidation have no place in our state, and Floridians deserve better than mere silence from Democrat leadership. Nikki Fried must immediately remove Brian Stewart from his position of leadership in the Florida Democrat Party!” Florida GOP Chairman Evan Power wrote in a statement nonetheless. Power never responded to Dem Florida Congressman Jared Moskowitz’s call for him to denounce the violent, antisemitic rhetoric in last year’s famous Young Republicans chat.

Late last month Breitbart and – in not her proudest moment – non-MAGA indie journo Jaqueline Sweet helped launder certain “scrutiny” of the claims that Epstein survivor “Jane Doe 4” made in a series of interviews with FBI agents in 2019 right before Dirty Jeff was found dead in his cell. JD4 had, according to the FBI’s tip sheet, “stated Epstein introduced her to Trump who subsequently forced her head down to his exposed penis which she subsequently bit,” which prompted the Trump Regime to run to Breitbart’s chief political orc Matthew Boyle with the following statement:

“These non-credible accusations against President Trump made in 2019 were in the SDNY files and listed as duplicative files, and therefore not legally required to be released by the Epstein Transparency Act as it was written by Congress,” an anonymous “administration official” told Boyle.

That later turned out to be a lie because the DOJ did in fact add the four missing interviews to the Epstein files the next week and they were not “duplicative” as that Trump minion claimed.

Air ‌Canada CEO Michael ​Rousseau will retire ​later this year the airline announced a week after the exec revealed to the nation that he doesn’t speak French by issuing an English-only message of condolence following the crash of Flight 8646 in New York that killed two pilots, the CBC reports.

One of the pilots, Captain Antoine Forest, was a Quebecois and obviously Rousseau – whose surname is French, lol – should have made some effort to express his sorrow in that language. At the same time maybe this is juuuuuuuust a little excessive and an apology tour could suffice.

You can translate this article to French yourself if that’s so goddamned important to you.

Like shouldn’t the headline of this article read something like “GOP eyes hidden healthcare cut trickery to find pay-fors to fund Iran war” and you have to actually read it to understand what the game is? Is this really where they’re at right now, that something the DCCC can put on a sign or bumper sticker – and just slightly longer than “TRUMP LOW PRICES / KAMALA HIGH PRICES” – is simply being given away for free without forcing the Dems to do any more wordsmithing than that?

And from friggin Axios of all the insufferably “neutral” political news websites to boot. Damn.

There’s a whole ocean of oil down there and now it’s worth $100.83 per barrel, enough money where an oil man can just get away from everyone, including his partner, HW. Oilmen are going to have more grain than they know what to do with! Bread’ll be coming right out of their ears.

Oh what is that you whimpering babies filling up your gas tanks? Say it louder, louder than your cries on the day you slithered out in your mother’s filth. Did you think your song and dance and your superstition would help you, cursed fools? Oil is the Third Revelation, what the Lord has chosen!

THE OIL INDUSTRY DRINKS YOUR MILKSHAKE! THEY DRINK IT UP! THEY WILL EAT YOU!

A 70 year-old childless bachelor was spotted enjoying breakfast Sunday morning at “Chef Mickey’s” at the Contemporary Resort at Disney World, a restaurant within the massive theme park complex in which people dressed in costumes as iconic characters from the entertainment giant’s catalog interact with children and families as part of the “magical experience” of the park and its resorts.

The bachelor, who TMZ identifies as South Carolina man Lindsey Graham, was said to have engaged in “a little chit-chat” with a person dressed as chief corporate mascot Mickey Mouse. Asked for comment on why he was on the premises while the American air travel system is on the brink of collapse, Graham told the entertainment outlet he “was invited to a meeting in South Florida on Friday with Trump official Steve Witkoff… to talk about the possibility of normalization between Saudi Arabia and Israel. I went to Orlando to meet friends after. I’m already back in South Carolina.”

“I voted 7 times to fully fund the government. Call a Democrat,” Graham added. It’s not clear if that last part of his statement was prompted with a question or if Graham was feeling preemptively defensive over being asked by a national news outlet what he was doing at Disney World.

Also, air travel mess or not, he’s still a childless, unmarried 70 year-old man visiting Disney World.

So far, watching Republicans control the Department of Justice has been like watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off without Bueller finding the keys to the Ferrari.

— Warren Davidson 🇺🇸 (@WarrenDavidson) March 29, 2026

Nah, I was hoping more like Untouchables, only with an Elliot Ness for every sanctuary city and several focused on Democrat cartel operations like Act Blue, the Soros Network, and Antifa. Perhaps that's all still in the works comrade.

— Warren Davidson 🇺🇸 (@WarrenDavidson) March 30, 2026

“Birthright Citizenship is not about rich people from China, and the rest of the World, who want their children, and hundreds of thousands more, FOR PAY, to ridiculously become citizens of the United States of America. It is about the BABIES OF SLAVES! We are the only Country in the World that dignifies this subject with even discussion. Look at the dates of this long ago legislation – THE EXACT END OF THE CIVIL WAR! The World is getting rich selling citizenships to our Country, while at the same time laughing at how STUPID our US Court System has become (TARIFFS!). ‘Dumb Judges and Justices will not a great Country make!'” posted the President of the United States on Monday morning, two days before his Solicitor General D John Sauer leans on an 1884 Supreme Court ruling against a native american in his quest to uphold Trump’s ability to outlaw birthright citizenship – but only for the children of non-citizens born domestically after February 2025 – via executive fiat.

You never know, calling the United States Supreme Court stupid could help Sauer, who’s already got his work cut out for him, to say the least. “We believe the reliance on Elk to deny birthright citizenship to children of undocumented immigrants is misplaced. It’s a misreading and a misunderstanding,” Leonard Fineday, general counsel of the National Congress of American Indians, told NBC as though Sauer doesn’t already fucking know it and that the 1884 Elk v Wilkins decision is simply the best he’s got as he tries to work backwards from the outcome Trump wants.

It’d be a waste of space to even summarize Elk v Wilkins here. All you really need to know is that majority opinion author Justice Horace Gray in 1898 also penned the Wong Kim Ark decision Trump is trying to overturn, with Gray writing in Ark specifically that his earlier decision concerned “only members of Indian tribes within the United States and had no tendency to deny citizenship to children born in the United States” who were not Native American as he and majority affirmed that any other person born within US borders – excepting those of two foreign diplomats – was automatically a US citizen. Then toss in that in 1924 the Elk v Wilkins decision was superseded when President Calvin Cooldige signed the Indian Citizenship Act. Maybe Sauer wants that nixed too.

Monday saw the end of the road for Australian sovereign citizen Desmond Filby, aka Dezi Freeman, shot dead by cops in a shipping container hideout in a wooded hinterland outside of Thologolong in Victoria state after being sought for seven months in the murders of Victoria State Police Det Leading Sr Constable Neal Thompson and Sr Constable Vadim De Waart-Hottart, 9News Au reports.

De Waart-Hottart and Thompson were shot dead outside of Filby’s rusty abandoned bus home in Porepunkah, nearly 60 miles south of Thologolong, last August as they argued with the crazy asshole and his wife over the warrant. A third officer was wounded and was able to crawl under the bus and hide until backup arrived and Filby fled into the thick brush of Mount Buffalo National Park.

Filby was already an apocalypse prepper hostile to government before the COVID pandemic when he really lost it, adopting the surname Freeman as is trendy with both American and Australian sovcits. Which leads to the other, very much Ruby Ridge-flavored, problem: Cops believe that Filby had plenty of help fleeing and hiding from police following the murders. Indeed, on Monday they had been acting on a tip that Filby was already dead and ended up in a three-hour standoff before they were finally able to kill the “patriot.” Victoria Police Commissioner Mike Bush told reporters Monday that his department “will be speaking to anybody who we suspect may have assisted him to avoid arrest” and that anyone “complicit” in helping Freeman stay on the lam would face charges.

Which raises the question of whether Filby’s end is just the beginning of a long, dark road.

Flames erupted from one of Israel’s just two oil refineries in the city of Haifa on Monday after Iranian projectiles rained down on the country over a month into the insane war started by convicted felon President Trump and Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu, the Associated Press reports.

The strike followed a Sunday attack on a chemical plant in Beersheba in southern Israel where Al-Jazeera reports authorities ordered evacuations following a possible leak of hazardous substances.

Convicted felon President Trump’s administration has given the green light for a Russian-owned oil tanker to dock in Cuba for who the hell knows what reason when the whole point of the blockade was to force a collapse in the country, the New York Times reports.

Amazing how a political movement that returned to power on a mantra that can be approximately summarized by “Red Lobster filing for bankruptcy is so much worse than hundreds of thousands of people dying of COVID and a deadly assault on the United States Capitol” doesn’t realize that turning that around on themselves is not just ineffective but actually making things worse.

They really can’t just come up with some kind of new fake outrage like Critical Race Theory or public schools grooming children to become trans or Mr Potato Head’s cock to distract their key demographics from the steady pile-up of unforced errors? The party that weaponizes inattention to context is literally trying to draw attention to context here? Americans expect better bullshit than this moron acting as though there isn’t plenty of growth potential in that bottom bar.