A new set of New York Times/Siena College surveys finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 50 to 46 among likely voters in the do-or-die state of Pennsylvania, but tied at 47 percent nationwide, a slight improvement for the veep from last week.

The Times’s polling egghead Nate Cohn, obviously “puzzled,” writes “If true, it would suggest that Trump’s advantage in the Electoral College, relative to the popular vote, has declined significantly since 2020. This wouldn’t come from nowhere: Almost exactly one year ago, I wrote that there were signs that Trump’s Electoral College edge was fading, including in the 2022 midterm elections. In fact, today’s poll result is reminiscent of our polling ahead of the midterms, which found Republicans leading nationally but Democrats running strong in Pennsylvania and other battlegrounds.”

“It was hard to believe given recent history – I didn’t believe it, and neither did others pollsters I spoke with – but it turned out to be right,” Cohn continued, probably fully aware he’s about to catch a whole world of shit from the irritable MAGA scumbags triggered by the Pennsylvania finding.

The share price of $DJT, the meme stock for the brand behind convicted felon former President Trump’s failed Twitter clone that he doesn’t even need any more since Elon Musk pardoned him from a life sentence in the birdcage, is down fully 80 percent from its April post-IPO high of $79.38 as of Thursday, now trading at $15.70 which, while not the record low of $14.32 yet, is damn close to it.

What’s noteworthy about the current price is – besides the fact that Dow Jones futures are now at a record high of 42,377, so the actual stock market itself isn’t the problem – that it comes on the day the fat bastard’s “lockup” agreement expires and he can begin selling the shares, per CNBC. The share price got a brief bump on Friday when Donald claimed he had “absolutely no intention of selling” any of his 57 percent stake in the company when the lockup’s expiry came, but since not even his fanboys who bought up the shares actually trust him, the value continued falling.

Our best guess is that Trump does ultimately end up honoring the pledge not to sell – at least until the election. He himself did the most to tank the price by tweeting again starting last month – even if @realDonaldTrump on Twitter appears to be mostly, if not entirely, operated by his campaign staff and the direct reposts of his Truth Social posts are few and far between – which itself appeared to be a desperation move to somehow regain attention amid Vice President Kamala Harris’s surging poll numbers. He burned his investors for a nebulous political gain and the value of their stock depends entirely on whether or not he can return to power… Then again he’s already fucked them over this much so why not just cash out what he can and leave them high and dry?

Cops in New York City have arrested a teenage girl they say she and an accomplice snuck on board a subway train parked at the Briarwood station in Queens last week and took it on a joyride that ended with the metal monstrosity crashing into another unoccupied train, the AP reports.

The unnamed 17 year-old was cuffed around noon on Wednesday, charging her with criminal mischief and reckless endangerment for the rail-based joyride. Her male friend remains at large.

Around twenty people seated behind famed flatulating felon Donald Trump were hospitalized after his appearance in Tucson, Arizona last Thursday complaining of “burning eyes” and “blurred vision” with potential chemical injuries from an unknown source, according to the Gateway Pundit.

Famed conservative mouthpiece Jim Hoft failed to do a deep dive into the potential causes for the vision problems such as having to view Trump’s backside for hours as he drones on about how tariffs are going to eliminate the entire federal debt. Or maybe Cheetolini cut the cheese after a dinner of Big Macs and milkshakes.

Incredible trip, in the middle of the night, to our southern border with @MorganOrtagus, @PamBondi & @polarisnatsec pic.twitter.com/qKj5d9wttW

— Lara Trump (@LaraLeaTrump) September 19, 2024

A new national Fox News survey conducted entirely after last week’s debate finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 50 to 48 percent among likely voters, a flip from last month’s finding putting fat Donald of Kamala ahead 49 to 48 percent.

#120strong pic.twitter.com/UdQi8IQ88v

— Teamsters Local 120 (@Teamsters120) September 18, 2024

After the Teamsters National declined to endorse either candidate in the presidential election, a flurry of locals have come out with full-throated endorsements of Democratic nominee Kamala Harris.  Joining Council 32, the West Coast Teamsters (Councils 7 and 42), Michigan (Council 43) and Wisconsin also threw their support behind the Vice President.

Still no idea what this fat fucking idiot thinks he’s doing in New York and not in Arizona or Wisconsin but we’re not exactly complaining about him wasting one of what few days remain either.

“In a National poll 2 points works for me. At that rate she’ll never win the electoral college. 😂😂” Fox commenter thedemslie rationalized on a new poll from the cable propaganda network showing Democratic Vice President Kamala Harris leading past president and current felon Donald Trump, a rapist and the Republican standard-bearer, by two points in a national election and leading or tied with Trump on seven of the top ten issues concerning voters.

A Michigan federal judge on Wednesday declined to intervene in the state’s decision not to remove roadkill collector Robert F Kennedy Jr from the November ballot, the Detroit Free Press reports.

District Judge Denise Page Hood wrote in an 18-page ruling that Bobby Jr can’t sue in federal court because his case had already been adjudicated in state court. “[Junior] now pleads before this court seeking a second bite at the apple, to which he is not entitled,” the judge wrote, adding that the brainwormed malformation was also too slow in filing his appeals. Hood also noted that 90 percent of the total ballots have been printed and a re-do would cost the state at least $500,000.

In related news, a Wisconsin appeals court will hear Bobby’s case to get himself removed in the Badger State, to which state Election Commission Chair Ann Jacobs wrote on Wednesday that it’s no longer merely a matter of printing, but that “by the time the appellate court rules (I would guess no earlier than Monday, September 23), thousands upon thousands of ballots will have gone out.”

Following up on a recent Facebook post encouraging fellow Trump fans to record the addresses of locals with signs voicing support for Vice President Kamala Harris on their lawns, Republican Portage County, Ohio Sheriff Bruce Zuchowski posted again on Tuesday, claiming it’s his First Amendment right to intimidate voters in his county who would dare to disagree with him politically, writing “As the Chief Law Enforcement Officer of Portage County, I have sworn to protect ALL citizens of my County. Recently, I placed a post on my personal facebook page that may have been a little misinterpreted?? I…as the elected sheriff, do have a first amendment right as do all citizens.”

“If the citizens of Portage County want to elect an individual who has supported open borders (which I’ve personally visited Twice!) and neglected to enforce the laws of our Country…then that is their prerogative. With elections, there are consequences. That being said…I believe that those who vote for individuals with liberal policies have to accept responsibility for their actions! I am a Law Man…Not a Politician! I would also like to Thank…The Overwhelming Support I am receiving from many people in Portage County who are afraid or are Not allowed to agree with me publicly! Stay Strong and God Bless!! 🇺🇸” the demented freak continued in the post. Replies were shut off.

Former Trump White House economy douche Steven Moore was more than a little peeved on Wednesday after the Federal Reserve Bank cut interest rates by 0.5 percent, telling the Washington Post’s Jeff Stein that, to Moore “It was jaw-dropping, frankly. There’s no reason they couldn’t do 0.25 now and 0.25 right after the election. Why not wait till then? I’m not saying a 0.5 point reduction isn’t justified – it may well be and they have more data than I do. But I just think, ‘Why now?'”

The other former Trump White House economic chode Larry Kudlow whined similarly during an interview with vest-wearing asshole Virginia Gov Glenn Youngkin, saying “I just can’t figure… I just can’t figure, Governor, why they couldn’t have waited until the day after the election, which would’ve de-politicized the whole Fed story. Cause, even if the economy is a lot worse than we think or than they think more importantly, it’s not gonna matter… Uh, 48 days, not gonna matter. They could’ve waited. What they’re gonna run into now is a political buzzsaw, if you ask me.” Lol.

The crowd at JD Vance’s event in North Carolina booed when a reporter asked him about the rate cut. The part they booed specifically the reporter mentioning how inflation’s going to go down.

JD put that JD from Yale to work Wednesday in carefully explaining to a reporter why the Springfield, Ohio Haitian community – largely made up of legally protected refugees – are actually illegal aliens because “Vice President Kamala Harris” (even though it was actually President Joe Biden) in June signed an executive order temporarily paroling them through at least February 2026.

“Republican Ohio Gov Mike DeWine has faced a series of conflicts of interests on key issues in his state, including with the ongoing Haitian migrant crisis affecting Springfield. DeWine recently pledged support to Springfield to assist with the influx in Haitian migrants, according to Spectrum News. Over a period of years, DeWine and his wife have developed extensive ties to a charity in Haiti. The charity was established in honor of Becky DeWine, their daughter who died in a car accident. The DeWine Family Foundation Inc gave a $400,000 grant to the group ‘Hands Together’ to fund a school in Haiti, according to the foundation’s 990 form that was filed in 2023.”

“Hands Together established the Becky DeWine school and dedicated it to the governor’s late daughter in 1999, according to its website. DeWine’s family held fundraisers for years on behalf of the charity,” the Daily Caller reports in an apparent “bombshell” of a story about the governor.

Copied that verbatim because what the actual fuck is with these people? How the hell is funding a school in Haiti a “conflict of interest”? Who writes this kind of shit? It’s not really funny or infuriating or even sad so much as it’s utterly mystifying that this is what counts as agitprop for MAGA world these days. This makes the endless months of Hunter Biden laptop nonsense look the Pentagon Papers as far as incriminating and/or politically explosive goes. They’re jumping the megalodon here.

“If Republicans don’t get the SAVE Act, and every ounce of it, they should not agree to a Continuing Resolution in any way, shape, or form. Democrats are registering Illegal Voters by the TENS OF THOUSANDS, as we speak – They will be voting in the 2024 Presidential Election, and they shouldn’t be allowed to. Only American Citizens should be voting in our Most Important Election in History, or any Election! A Vote must happen BEFORE the Election, not AFTER the Election when it is too late.”

“BE SMART, REPUBLICANS, YOU’VE BEEN PUSHED AROUND LONG ENOUGH BY THE DEMOCRATS, DON’T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN. Remember, this is Biden/Harris’ fault, not yours!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Wednesday, continuing his bitching about nonexistent voter fraud.

Spoiler alert: Trump doesn’t actually want the SAVE Act passed. He wants it to fail so if and when he loses he can claim he would have won if it had been passed, fueling “Stop the Steal” v2.

On deck as witnesses are Google President and Chief Legal Officer Kent Walker, Facebook President of Global Affairs Nick Clegg, and Microsoft Vice Chair and President Brad Smith.

Two Tallahassee, Florida men are facing misdemeanor charges for catching a baby alligator from a lake and keeping it in a cooler with the intent of eating it at some point, the Palm Beach Post reports.

It’s not clear when the men were charged but on July 29th the state Fish and Wildlife Commission received a report from a family member of one of the men, saying he “had caught a baby alligator the night before and has been keeping it in a cooler in the yard ever since.” Both were charged with a second degree misdemeanor for taking or possessing any alligator or alligator eggs without a license. FWC officials seized the baby alligator and returned it to the lake whence it came.

The Federal Reserve Bank on Monday at long last cut interest rates 0.5 percent, CNBC reports. The fun part will be the MAGA reaction to “election interference” by boosting the economy through lowered borrowing costs for people and businesses with 48 days to go until November 5th.

'Vocally anti-Trump' FBI agent leading probe of Florida assassination attempt: whistleblower https://t.co/Ey7rATDENU

— Fox News (@FoxNews) September 18, 2024

The woman whose police report about a missing cat she thought was being barbequed by her Haitian neighbor is currently making its way around the interwebs, sparking the pussies on the right to mew and cry about The Others, said her cat, Miss Sassy, was found hiding in the basement three days later, the Independent reports.  The woman, Anna Kilgore, said she apologized to her innocent neighbors for the trouble–y’know, like the death threats and harassment of his entire community–via a translation app.