Just a quick fact check here: America is actually the most prosperous country in the world. If you’re saying it isn’t then how the fuck are you supposed to argue that immigrants are holding it back?

Sources tell Axios that Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer is working on a bill for convicted felon former President Trump’s empty promise to either fund in-vitro fertilization or mandate insurers pay for it, forcing Republicans – including his own running mate – into voting against their Orange God Emperor’s ill-advised impulse. The bill will hit the floor within the next two weeks.

“Donald J Trump, 45th President of the United States of America, will deliver remarks at a rally in Uniondale, New York on Wednesday, September 18, 2024, at 7:00PM EST. Nassau County is reeling from the harmful effects of the dangerously liberal policies championed by Kamala Harris and Democrats like Eric Adams,” says a statement on convicted felon former President Trump’s website.

“The safety of our neighborhoods is being compromised, and it’s clear that Kamala’s reckless immigration policies are putting New Yorkers at risk. President Trump’s message to Nassau County is simple and built on his winning record: If you want to return to the strongest economy in over 60 years, rising wages, quality jobs, strong borders, and safe neighborhoods, then vote for the Trump-Vance ticket,” the press release continued and seriously what the fuck is this idiot doing holding a rally on Long Island and not Arizona or Michigan or Nevada or Wisconsin?

We would have gotten it if Joe Biden was still his opponent and he wanted to pretend the map was expanding into New York. We also would have gotten it if this was announced before his sentencing, that was originally scheduled for the for the same day, had been postponed. Neither are true and now he’s campaigning in fucking New York 47 days before the election. Meanwhile Kamala Harris is in North Carolina on Thursday and Pennsylvania on Friday. Yes, Trump is in Nevada and Arizona this week but seriously what the hell does he think he’s doing on Long Island? Who’s idea was this?

I’m always so proud of the kind, loving, and welcoming spirit of MAGA and the Republican Party.

We have the winning policies that represent every American and put our country first.

This is why Laura Loomer’s nasty, racist, and divisive rhetoric should not be tolerated.

We…

— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) September 12, 2024

Marjorie Taylor Greene hates Jews. She’s attacking one for supposedly whispering poison in the ear of President Trump, treating Laura Loomer like a medieval stereotype of a Rothschild infiltrator, leading the monarch into disaster for her own ends. The petty jealousy for proximity to their monarch manifests itself into hatred for Jewish professionals in government. Greene needs to apologize and resign immediately for propagating this vile shit about the entire Jewish people.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after doing whatever we can to disingenuously exacerbate the internecine shitposting going back and forth in the Orange God Emperor’s court.

In an article titled “Polling Error in 2016-2020: Look Out for Wisconsin” The University of Virginia’s Center for Politics – aka Larry Sabato’s Crystal Ball – writes their “best guess is that because Trump’s polling position is better than 2016 and 2020, it’s likelier that he’s at least not being as underestimated as much as he was in previous elections, if he is being underestimated at all. For one thing, other indicators do not really suggest that we’re in the midst of an electoral environment that is much stronger for Republicans than the past two elections (those indicators include special elections in 2023 and 2024 and the recent Washington state top-two primary).”

“While Democrats have now nominated three different opponents against Donald Trump, Trump himself will be on the ballot for a third straight time. It just doesn’t seem likely to us that he will do markedly better than he did in either 2016 or 2020, which is what would happen if the polls were biased against him again. The third installment of the Trump trilogy will likely look a fair amount like the first two installments as opposed to being dramatically different; this is why we’ve long expected a close and competitive election, with only the last few weeks of Joe Biden’s candidacy really making us seriously consider the possibility of Trump doing substantially better than his previous presidential runs. The close polls suggest a close election: That seems realistic.”

A new national likely voter survey conducted by Leger for the New York Post entirely after Tuesday night’s debate finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 50 to 47 percent with the remainder going to the shitbag third party candidates.

Among respondents who watched the debate, 50 percent said Harris won to 29 percent Trump with the remainder saying neither won. And who cares whether or not the poll is accurate, it’s funny that the Murdoch-owned post has to report these numbers showing their Orange God Emperor behind.

Russian and Republican-backed nuisance presidential candidate Cornel West and socialist Claudia De la Cruz have been officially disqualified in Georgia, even though their names remain on military and overseas ballots being sent out on Thursday, the Associated Press reports.

It’s not clear yet what will happen on other ballots being printed on later dates.

In the video (with no audio) from the Nashville Police Department taken on Tuesday, a woman stands on the wrong side of the railing on a city bridge when musician Jon Bon Jovi happens to be doing a photoshoot on the same bridge over the Cumberland River. Bon Jovi and a colleague calmly talk to the woman, persuading her to return to the safe side of the rail and giving her a hug of support.  The woman was then taken for treatment, Nashville Police said.

Democratic Party simp and person who can afford all the security she’s going to need Taylor Swift won the prestigious MTV Video of the Year Award for the video for her single Fortnight, which featured Post Malone, per USA Today reporting.

After noting the Video of the Year Award is determined by fan vote, Swift noted, “If you’re over 18, please register to vote for something else that’s very important coming up,” which elicited a roar of high-pitched screams and applause from the audience, and will elicit cries of “No fair!” from MAGA.

In other news, there’s still an annual MTV Video Music Awards ceremony even though MTV rarely plays music videos anymore.  And in still other other news, there’s still an MTV.

Four years after a Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress led to the suspension of the January 6th, 2021 certification of the election, the Department of Homeland Security will beef up security for the event next year, NBC News reports.

DHS designated the January 6th, 2025 certification as a national special security event, similar to other events like a presidential inauguration or a State of the Union address, where local, state and federal law enforcement are advised to watch out for threats to the event.

“National Special Security Events are events of the highest national significance,” the Special Agent in Charge of the U.S. Secret Service’s Dignitary Protective Division said in a press release. “The U.S. Secret Service, in collaboration with our federal, state, and local partners are committed to developing and implementing a comprehensive and integrated security plan to ensure the safety and security of this event and its participants.”

Adjudicated rapist and Republican standard-bearer Donald Trump’s legal issues just earned another file for Alina Habba’s inbox:  a Cook County (Illinois) judge ruled that Chicago’s Trump Tower is a public nuisance for long-term contamination of the Chicago River, the Chicago Sun-Times reports.

Judge Thaddeus L. Wilson ended a six-year lawsuit brought by city officials and environmental groups, ruling that the building’s water intake from the river sucked in and killed tens of thousands of fish over the years, violating various environmental laws.

“Trump Tower has litigated this case by pretending the rules don’t exist or that basic facts aren’t what they obviously are,” said Robert Weinstock of Northwestern University’s Environmental Advocacy Center, which represented two of the private organizations in the suit. “The court’s ruling forces them to live in reality and comply with the law like everyone else.”

Echoing so many in the media, CBS News host Major Garrett asked Republican Governor Mike DeWine, “I never thought I’d ask a question like this.  Is anyone with undocumented status in Ohio, is any legal citizen, legal citizen resident of Ohio eating dogs or cats illegally?”

“Well, Major, this is something that came up on the internet, and the internet can be quite crazy sometimes,” the frequently lucid Republican says.  “And look, the mayor, Mayor Rue of Springfield, says no, there’s no truth in that. They have no evidence of that at all. So I think we go with what the mayor says. He knows his city.”

YUGE RATINGS! The Washington Post’s Jeremy Barr reports 67 million people watched Tuesday night’s Harris vs Trump debate, up from the 51 million who watched the Biden-Trump CNN debate.

A Carnival cruise ship last week made the engineers and crew of the Titanic look like incompetent fucking losers by surviving a scrape with an iceberg without sinking and dooming a large majority of its passengers and crew to a brutal death by hypothermia, USA Today reports.

“Carnival Spirit made contact with an errant piece of drifting ice last Thursday while sailing in Tracy Arm Fjord, Alaska,” spokesperson Matt Lupoli told USA Today in an emailed statement about the total embarrassment of Team Titanic. “An assessment determined no damage to the ship’s hull and the vessel continued on its cruise and there has been no impact to operations.”

Republican Ohio Governor Mike DeWine on Wednesday told reporters “I think we should take the word of the city manager and the mayor that they’ve found no credible evidence of that story – of Haitians eating cats. I think it’s important for us to really focus in Springfield – and this is what we have done – on what’s important,” Sky News reports without being more specific on the context.

Funny story about Vance waving off Swift’s endorsement: NPR’s Elena Moore reports that a “General Services Administration spox tells NPR that as of 11 am ET today there have been 306,422 visitors to vote.gov referred from Taylor Swifts’s URL she shared on Instagram last night.”

Meeting and shaking hands for the second time in 12 hours on Wednesday morning in New York City, convicted felon former President Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris spoke briefly just before the September 11th attack memorial ceremony began. It’s not clear what if anything Harris said, but a source tells the Daily Beast Trump said simply “Good job,” admitting he had been bested.

Note: if you vote for a particular candidate because your favorite singer is doing so, please don't vote. You are too stupid to vote.

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) September 11, 2024

Related heads-up: Within the next 24 hours we’re going to be printing a mega-deluxe-super-length edition of MAGA Land, the likes of which the world has never seen before. Between the one-two of the Orange God Emperor’s debate implosion and Taylor Swift’s sudden endorsement, it’s too much sodium and butthurt for one compendium… But fuck it, we’re going to put it all in one anyway.

A new survey of likely Wisconsin voters by Marquette University Law School finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 52 to 48 percent in a head-to-head and 48 to 43 percent with Roadkill Guy in third at 6 percent in a full field of all the scrubs and losers.

Writing that the initial numbers indicate “an overnight rating of 32.8 and a 70 share across eight networks,” representing a 28 percent increase over the Biden-Trump June debate, Fox TV analyst Michael Mulvihill says Tuesday night’s showdown between Vice President Kamala Harris and convicted felon former President Trump “implies a national audience of over 65 million.”

Mulvihill added a note of caution, writing “the overnights haven’t been all that reliable as a predictor of the nationals lately, at least in sports, so I’d make that projection with low confidence.”