We’ll ignore the weirdness of having your smiling family pose around the grave of a loved one while a grinning politician gives a thumbs-up on the anniversary of your horrific death at the hands of a suicide bomber.  That’s tasteless enough.

Allow us to point you to the grave of USMC Maj. (post.) Moises Navas to Trump’s right.  Navas and another Marine were killed in March 2020, while Trump was President, fighting ISIS in mountain caves in southern Iraq.  Unlike other Presidents who regularly made an effort to greet the remains of soldiers who died in service of our nation, though, Donald Trump stopped attending the “dignified returns” services at Dover Air Force Base soon after he took office.  A migrant from Panama, Navas was one of the “losers and suckers” who gave his life for the United States.  That was the first time Trump had been near Navas’s remains, thought he uses Navas’s sacrifice against ISIS as a campaign talking point about how tough Trump was against an enemy.

Libertarian state senator candidate Susan Hogarth sued the North Carolina state election commission as well as her local board after she was threatened with a misdemeanor for posting a selfie of her holding her completed ballot on social media, the Washington Post reports.

After taking the photo of her holding her votes cast for two long-shot Libertarian candidates and no one else, Hogarth says the rule against ballot selfies violates her First Amendment rights of self embarrassment expression.  Law enforcement officials say it’s a protection against people taking photos as proof of how they voted in a vote-buying scheme that sounds completely like an urban legend.

In a Friday interview with some far left podcast, Russian asset Cornel West claimed Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign offered him the same deal that brainwormed assclown got from convicted felon former President Trump: drop out in exchange for a job and paying off the campaign debt that the Kremlin hasn’t cut a check for yet given the other shit they’re dealing with, Breitbart reports.

Asked by the host for details, West said ” Oh, I mean there was definitely various kind of offers. I won’t go into concrete details of it – I really won’t, because I don’t I – I don’t even want to make that the focus of the interview,” meaning he’s full of shit because if he wanted to embarrass the Harris campaign he would have had plenty of emails and text messages to show the media.

When the host then asked “Did they offer you did they offer you a cabinet position, a lower position, and offer to pay off any of your campaign debt?” West said simply “Well, they offered serious, substantive conversation about all of those that could lead toward some real…” and trailed off.

Details are a little sketchy but per some sort of internal NPR reporting memo by correspondent Quil Lawrence via colleague David Folkenflik, two members of convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign staff got into a verbal and physical altercation with officials at Arlington National Cemetery on Monday during the fat fuck’s political capitalization of the deadly suicide bombing that took the lives of 13 US service members during the chaotic withdrawal from Afghanistan.

Only cemetery staff are permitted to take photographs inside the section in which the service members killed during the Kabul withdrawal are buried but when an official tried to prevent the Trump minions from entering they were cursed at and shoved aside, according to the NPR memo.

Large-headed Trump spokesman Steven Cheung responded to NPR with a denial, saying “There was no physical altercation as described and we are prepared to release footage if such defamatory claims are made. The fact is that a private photographer was permitted on the premises and for whatever reason an unnamed individual, clearly suffering from a mental health episode, decided to physically block members of President Trump’s team during a very solemn ceremony.” Trump smiled and gave a thumbs up over one of their graves, showing just how solemn and serious he was.

“The Trump campaign declined to make the footage immediately available,” NPR notes in the memo immediately after Cheung’s statement (the NPR way of saying he’s full of shit). They then included a statement from Arlington officials, saying “Federal law prohibits political campaign or election- related activities within Army National Military Cemeteries, to include photographers, content creators or any other persons attending for purposes, or in direct support of a partisan political candidate’s campaign. Arlington National Cemetery reinforced and widely shared this law and its prohibitions with all participants. We can confirm there was an incident, and a report was filed”

These people are corrupt. This is open election interference. https://t.co/kmRBEo1N2z

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) August 27, 2024

We should’ve picked this up earlier and made our brief on Roadkill Guy being stuck on the Wisconsin ballot about both states but Don Jr being all butthurt about Team MAGA’s plan to split votes off from Biden boomeranging on them in another key battleground adds color we couldn’t on our own.

“In an effort to resurrect a ‘dead’ Witch Hunt in Washington, DC, in an act of desperation, and in order to save face, the illegally appointed ‘Special Counsel’ Deranged Jack Smith, has brought a ridiculous new Indictment against me, which has all the problems of the old Indictment, and should be dismissed IMMEDIATELY. His Florida Document Hoax Case has been completely dismissed. This is merely an attempt to INTERFERE WITH THE ELECTION, and distract the American People from the catastrophes Kamala Harris has inflicted on our Nation, like the Border Invasion, Migrant Crime, Rampant Inflation, the threat of World War III, and more…” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Tuesday after he was indicted again and holy shit he just keeps going on and on.

“…For them to do this immediately after our Supreme Court Victory on Immunity and more, is shocking. I’ve also been informed by my attorneys, that you’re not even allowed to bring cases literally right before an Election – A direct assault on Democracy! This is an unprecedented abuse of the Criminal Justice System. The case has to do with ‘Conspiracy to Obstruct the 2020 Presidential Election,’ when they are the ones that did the obstructing of the Election, not me. They cheated on the Election, and they go after me for ‘cheating on the Election.’ Interestingly, this comes at the exact same time as Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook has admitted to concealing massive amounts of information, such as Hunter Biden’s Laptop from Hell, which is a direct acknowledgment that the 2020 Presidential Election was MANIPULATED and RIGGED by the DOJ. What they are doing now is the single greatest sabotage of our Democracy in History…” in the second post.

Vice President Kamala Harris and running mate Minnesota Governor Tim Walz will sit for a joint interview with CNN’s Dana Bash on Thursday, capping weeks of endless bitching and screaming by right wingers over Harris supposedly avoiding engaging with the media.

HOT DOG! The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is coming back to Pittsburgh this week. https://t.co/6wEQ0hJAnE

— KDKA (@KDKA) August 27, 2024

Convicted felon former President Trump has been hit with a superseding indictment by a grand jury in Washington, DC for his failed post-2020 election coup attempt. The charges are the same from the original August 1st, 2023 indictment but, per Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s team, have been modified to work around the Supreme Court’s ruling in Trump v United States.

One funny thing to point out: A superseding indictment may or may not have been subject to the Justice Department’s “60 day rule” governing how close to an election that prosecutors can take action against a political defendant, but it’s moot either way because it’s 70 days to go now.

“On August 26, 2024 at 9:37 PM, AAFD, shift 2, citywide responded to the Ann Arbor Railroad tracks between Huron and Miller. Firefighters arrived to find a 20-year-old male patient who had been sleeping on the tracks when a north bound AARR freight train ran over him. The train was traveling at a very slow speed and was able to stop within a relatively short distance. The patient’s left hand was entangled in the rear axle of the lead locomotive. The hand was pinned between the wheel, axle, and wear gear,” says the Ann Arbor Michigan Fire Department in a Facebook post.

“The patient was laying in between the rails under the locomotive. Shockingly, the hand injury was the only major trauma. Due to the patient’s location combined with strength of the metal of this part of the locomotive, extrication efforts were incredibly challenging. As the incident approached the one-hour mark, AAPD drove out the flight crew from Survival Flight along with a surgical team from U-M Dept of Surgery in preparation for a possible field amputation. At the 110-minute mark, extrication was successful. The patient was transported by HVA to U-M Hospital in stable condition.”

“This was a once in career incident for those involved. Normally, person versus train incidents are fatal. This was a true team effort,” the post continued but at no point explained what the fuck the guy was doing “sleeping” on train tracks or if he was passed out drunk or stoned or whatever.

The Wisconsin Elections Commission on Tuesday voted 5 to 1 to certify roadkill collector Robert F Kennedy Jr for the November ballot despite his attempts to withdraw, NPR’s Steve Fowler reports.

“I have reached an agreement with the Radical Left Democrats for a Debate with Comrade Kamala Harris. It will be Broadcast Live on ABC FAKE NEWS, by far the nastiest and most unfair newscaster in the business, on Tuesday, September 10th, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Rules will be the same as the last CNN Debate, which seemed to work out well for everyone except, perhaps, Crooked Joe Biden. The Debate will be ‘stand up,’ and Candidates cannot bring notes, or ‘cheat sheets.’ We have also been given assurance by ABC that this will be a ‘fair and equitable’ Debate, and that neither side will be given the questions in advance (No Donna Brazile!).”

“Harris would not agree to the FoxNews Debate on September 4th, but that date will be held open in case she changes her mind or, Flip Flops, as she has done on every single one of her long held and cherished policy beliefs. A possible third Debate, which would go to NBC FAKE NEWS, has not been agreed to by the Radical Left,” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Tuesday, once again “committing” to the debate that he can’t afford to skip. The fat bastard pointedly left out the rules about the microphone muting that were supposedly non-starters for his team.

The gimmick this time around is if you buy all of them you get a piece of the suit he wore to the debate against Joe Biden in Atlanta. Last time it was the mugshot suit, also from Atlanta.

“How much longer will the mainstream media allow Kamala Harris to hide and use staff to speak on her behalf? It’s DAY 37 of ZERO interviews and Kamala’s anonymous campaign sources are now claiming she supports President Trump’s border wall – this is a preposterous and false claim. Kamala’s RECORD proves she is pro-open border. She called the wall ‘un-American,’ a ‘waste of taxpayer money,’ ‘medieval,’ and said it isn’t going to ‘stop’ illegal immigration. As a senator, Kamala tried to block President Trump’s construction of the border wall. As Border Czar, Kamala Harris halted construction of the border wall. Kamala’s ACTIONS speak much louder than the WORDS of the anonymous staff she is cowering behind,” says a statement on the Trump campaign website, now the second time this month they lost their shit over an Axios story and looked stupid doing so.

In the lede of the article, Axios wrote “If she’s elected president, Kamala Harris pledges to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on the wall along the southern border – a project she once opposed and called ‘un-American’ during the Trump administration. Why it matters: It’s the latest example of Harris flip-flopping on her past liberal positions such as supporting Medicare for All and banning fracking – proposals that aides say she now is against,” before continuing with usual filler.

Says a lot that they can’t even enjoy a story calling Harris a “flip-flopper.” Probably because she’s just moving in on Trump’s signature non-accomplishment to troll him. It appears to be working.

A lone dolphin thought to be “sexually frustrated” is being blamed for a series of attacks on at least 18 swimmers in the waters off the town of Tsuruga, on the east coast of Japan, the BBC reports.

“Just as in humans and other social animals, hormonal fluctuations, sexual frustration or the desire to dominate might drive the dolphin to injuring the people it interacts with. Since they are such powerful animals, this can lead to serious injury in humans,” said marine biologist Simon Allen.

Dale Marshall’s reign as Alaska’s Lord of Pumpkins continues into 2024 as the Anchorage farmer won the State Fair pumpkin competition again, this time with a 2,035 lbs behemoth, ADN reports.

There were only two entrants this year: Marshall and 5 year-old Silas Dinkel, whose 734 lbs pumpkin obviously looked weak and puny in comparison. The Dinkels are more of a cabbage family anyway, as their comically oversized vegetables have competed in that category. It’s not clear if Marshall has ever lost the pumpkin competition as this year’s was the 16th iteration of the contest. Really the only person he lost to was himself, as the 2024 pumpkin was short of his 2,147 lbs record in 2022.

There’s this game called Skull and Bones that was released around six months ago. Players create a pirate character and then begin sailing around the late 17th century Indian Ocean, raiding merchant vessels and colonial convoys, collecting resources to build bigger, better ships with more powerful cannons. You can battle other players or team up to take down the most fearsome enemies.

Skull and Bones: Into the Dragon’s Wake is out now!

Dive into a fiery adventure where the Dragon’s Claw duels the Phoenix’s Talon, weapons deal electric damage, and a sea dragon rises from the depths.https://t.co/LxptDCvaK4 pic.twitter.com/et3CTLzI0U

— Skull and Bones (@skullnbonesgame) August 22, 2024

Truth be told the game’s pretty goddamned boring once you get to a certain point but of course the publisher is still milking players with new “content” where all they do is just offer new cosmetics on top of a pretty limited model of sail, shoot, collect, repair, and we’re probably already losing a lot of our readers here but this is actually the point: You don’t give a shit about the pirate ship game.

Because it isn’t real life. It’s a niche interest to some people but not anywhere close to most of them (not even most gamers). Similarly, if you’re a heavy Twitter user, you’re probably not going to talk about about goddamned Catturd or Kanekoa The Great or the rest of those freaks when you’re in a bar or at a party or whatever. The old chestnut “Twitter isn’t real life” has probably been around as long as Twitter (fuck “X,” we’re still not calling it that) itself. Largely because it’s true.

“The Conference Board Consumer Confidence Index® rose in August to 103.3 (1985=100), from an upwardly revised 101.9 in July. The Present Situation Index—based on consumers’ assessment of current business and labor market conditions – improved to 134.4 from 133.1 in July.”

“The Expectations Index – based on consumers’ short-term outlook for income, business, and labor market conditions – also improved in August to 82.5. As the Expectations Index for July was revised up to 81.1, August marked the second consecutive month of the Index above 80. (A reading below the threshold of 80 usually signals a recession ahead.) The cutoff date for the preliminary results was August 21, 2024,” says a press release from the Consumer Confidence eggheads.

Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign turned down a pitch from an undisclosed tech company to create an AI version of convicted felon former President Trump to use as a stand-in for debate preparations, opting instead to use a good-old fashioned human actor to play Donald, Semafor reports.

A far right conspiracy freak claimed publicly on Tuesday it’s an “obvious fact” that the US military is involved with the ongoing Ukrainian incursion into Russia’s Kursk region, Reuters reports.

“Washington’s escalatory path is becoming more and more challenging,” said the loon, Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Sergei Ryabkov. “The impression is that [US] colleagues have thrown away the remnants of common sense and believe that everything is permissible for them. Similar approaches are followed by their clientele in Kyiv.” Put another layer of tinfoil on your hat, wacko.