Former Trump Administration corrupt Secretary of the Interior and current Montana Congressman Ryan Zinke on Monday told Fox Business News-screecher Maria Bartiromo that a vote for convicted felon former President Trump is how Americans fight back against shit like the reportedly “Satanic” opening ceremony of the Olympic Games in Paris. It’s not clear what Zinke meant in terms of policy, like if Trump would ban other countries from allowing drag queens to dance during such televised fanfare. Maybe he meant it in a symbolic way, like voting for Trump is a way of expressing anger over a global culture becoming more tolerant of men dressing like flamboyant, cartoonish women.

To Zinke’s other rant about the “assassination plot” against Trump: This fucking asshole was a Navy SEAL and knows better than most that if the “Deep State” – of which he was, possibly still is in some capacity a human weapon – wants someone knocked off they’re going to actually knock them off rather than send some incel dipshit who picks an AR-15 to do the job of a Carcano 38.

Health officials in Communist totalitarian North Korea are in a race to obtain desperately-needed medical supplies to solve a crisis that threatens the future of the state, the AP reports, citing South Korean intelligence reports indicating that the problem is increasingly expanding in size and weight.

Specifically the officials need drugs to treat high blood pressure and diabetes-related ailments being suffered by 40 year-old 5 ft 8, 308 lbs dictator Kim Jong-Un, whose sedentary lifestyle, coupled with heavy drinking and smoking are a major crisis in the tiny, improverished state’s government.

It’s not clear if efforts to get Kim to switch to Nicorette gum or Juul, booze only on weekends, and go on a crash diet of rice and lean salmon were met with summary executions or more elaborate and creative executions like the doctors getting blown up by large artillery guns on live television.

BREAKING: Residents of Wise County, Texas thought about it for a few minutes and realize that it might not be a good idea to locate a new landfill near a river that supplies their drinking water as runoff from a mountain of garbage could be hazardous, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reports.

“We just really feel that it is not a viable location. We and the property owners just have a lot of questions,” said Wise County Judge [“Judge” is the title of the top elected official in each Texas county, they do not preside over courts, unless they also happen to be a jurist] JD Clark said.

That’s fucking crazy, right? You’d think a state that would elect Ken Paxton to serve as its top law enforcement official wouldn’t care if their drinking water was polluted with rainwater that mixes in with batteries that didn’t get recycled and soiled baby diapers and who the hell knows what else kind of awfulness. There might be hope for Texas just yet… Maybe. Probably not though.

Pelosi's top security aides got warnings about potential Capitol breach night before Jan. 6 riot, memos show https://t.co/JOwjjddehu

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) July 29, 2024

“The left’s campaign against Project 2025 is reaching absurd decibels. You’d think Mr Trump is a political mastermind hiding the secret plans he’ll implement with an army of shock troops marching in lockstep. If his first term is any guide, and it is the best we have, Mr Trump will govern as a make-it-up-as-he-goes tactician rather than a strategist with a coherent policy guide.”

“He’ll dodge and weave based on the news cycle and often based on whoever talks to him last. Not much of the Project 2025 agenda is likely to happen, even if Republicans take the House and Senate. Democrats will block legislation with a filibuster. The bureaucracy will leak with abandon and oppose even the most minor reforms to the civil service. The press will revert to full resistance mode, and Mr. Trump’s staff will trip over their own ambitions. Democrats know this, which is why they fear Trump II less than they claim. They’re targeting Project 2025 to distract from their own failed and unpopular policies,” writes the Wall Street Journal’s editorial board.

Wow, that’s a freaking scorcher of an attack on Trump’s plans to establish a fascist autocratic police state… within the context of it being weaponized against him politically. “The libs are lying to voters again. Trump is too fucking stupid to actually make this happen,” is somehow the pwn here.

Nor is it really all that accurate, because the parts of it that serve the fat bastard’s self-interests financially and legally would absolutely definitely, 100 percent happen. And even if the Journal is theoretically correct in principle, why take the chance? What assurances can they make that his laziness and clinical ADHD will save birth control from being banned? Also, the whole point of cleaning house in the government to install loyalists definitionally entails staffing it with morally corrupt and frankly fucking psychotic animals with no regard for Americans. They can and will simply break things without any oversight or consequences. That’s the true spirit of Project 2025.

Political strategists in both parties have opinions on how their respective presidential candidates’ campaigns should conduct themselves in order to win 2024 the race, Politico Playbook reports.

“There is no question Kamala has the momentum and she gets a summer lull period during the Olympics, a VP pick, then a convention before we are quickly at Labor Day and ballots starting to be mailed out shortly after,” one GOP strategist texted Politico on Sunday, adding that the party’s inability to unify their “messaging” hasn’t helped. “The campaign seems to have realized that and will try to set the tone this week, but I am not so sure the entire MAGA Universe will sing from the song sheet immediately,” the anonymous strategist continued in the opinion-focused text message.

“Veteran GOP operative SCOTT JENNINGS,” and you know he’s important because Politico printed his name in all upper case letters, told them that “focus will be essential for Republicans”: “Bag the stupid crap and just focus on her record, statements and work under President JOE BIDEN. More than enough there. With any luck she’ll spend the next two weeks disavowing her entire record, which of course will make her seem hollow to voters,” JENNINGS said in his opinion.

Have a couch you just…don't love anymore? Set it out the night before your TRASH ONLY (not recycling) collection day. pic.twitter.com/DUhX4uDVtk

— NYC Sanitation (@NYCSanitation) July 28, 2024

Maybe the mockery of JD Vance’s alleged objectophilia isn’t that obvious to you, like in your head you leave room for just a little ambiguity here. But when you look at the couch you might start thinking “Huh, why is it only stained and not like cat scratches or just general wear and tear,” and then that might get you thinking about whether their graphic artist might have made it from scratch or if it’s clip art. It is clip art – of a regular, unstained couch. We don’t know if maybe another version with the yellow stains exists or if they were added by DSNY’s comms team. Either way it’s clear they went the extra half mile to put this tweet together and no doubt it’s a laugh at Jaydee’s expense.

President Biden will on Monday publish an op-ed calling, as expected, for major reforms to the Supreme Court following some pretty fucked up shit in both the far right majority’s rulings and ethical conduct, according to excerpts shared with Politico ahead of printing in an unspecified paper.

“What is happening now is not normal, and it undermines the public’s confidence in the court’s decisions, including those impacting personal freedoms… We now stand in a breach,” Biden writes in the piece, which comes with a speech set for Monday at the LBJ Presidential Library in Texas.

“The nation was founded on a simple yet profound principle: No one is above the law. Not the president of the United States. Not a justice of the Supreme Court of the United States,” the piece continues. In it Biden outlines his proposals for an enforceable code of ethics but the mechanisms and penalties for enforcement remain vague. What’s less vague is the likely outcome: That nothing will happen in Congress this year given that it would be pointless for Senate Democrats to abolish the filibuster to pass reforms only for Jesus Dork House Speaker Mike Johnson to ignore it.

That’s different than saying this is a waste of time and energy. It isn’t. Making accountability for an unaccountable court a middle term reach goal for the next Democratic trifecta in Washington is a worthwhile policy statement for the party and a no-brainer as a campaign strategy.

Flights to and from Lebanon’s capital Beirut were canceled Monday as the country braced for a possible offensive by the Israeli military against the Shiite terrorist militia Hezbollah in retaliation for a missile strike that killed 12 kids on a soccer field in the Golan Heights, Reuters reports.

Lufthansa, Swiss, Turkish Airlines, and others have halted their flights until at least August 5th as the Netanyahu Regime signaled that they would start bombing their northern neighbor again.

Venezuelan dictator Nicholas Maduro on Monday celebrated “winning” a third term after the country’s election authority declared him the winner, despite the opposition declaring victory amid some fairly obvious signs of rigging by the ruling communist regime, the Associated Press reports.

Would like to say that in another timeline where Joe Biden hadn’t dropped out yet – or at all – that I would have still printed a retrospective with the same headline (up to you whether it’s the Bananarama or Taylor Swift track of that name playing in your head right now) a month from the day after the night that ended his long and storied career in politics. Truth be told I almost certainly would have just tried in my own way to continue to walk the line between gallows humor and hollow attempts at boosting morale, not even acknowledging the milestone. What would have been gained by being honest that American democracy was sliding towards another very dark period which it wasn’t terribly likely to survive? How does one ever truly process a trauma like that?

Those interminable days of the mainstream media grinning happily while banging out scorching hot takes like “Trump on glide path back to White House: Top 10 picks for cabinet posts,” their best at preemptively currying favor with a regime that is far more likely to imprison them for sedition than the current one ever would. The agony of waiting on something, anything else to happen that would change the subject. And the even worse agony of those other news cycles – the Supreme Court throttling the conspiracy case against the fat fuck and giving him a blank check to create a permanent dictatorship, that stupid incel bringing an AR-15 to a sniper rifle fight, Aileen Cannon doing what she was hired to do – just increasing the torment. That Biden was doomed and then he wasn’t because of a middling performance at this or that and then he was again.

Wanted war criminal Maria Lvova-Belova – Russian dictator Vladimir Putin’s co-defendant on the ICC’s arrest warrant issued last year for her role in abducting children from Ukraine and forcing them to live in Russia – dubbed by the Telegraph as the “‘family values’ czar” for her position as the “Russia’s commissioner for children’s rights,” has reportedly walked out on her husband, Orthodox Priest Pavel Kogelman, and sacked up with billionaire Putin crony Konstantin Malofeev.

Malofeev’s racket is – you guessed it – an Orthodox church-backed propaganda media empire, called “Tsargrad,” which advocates for installing Putin as the “czar for life,” as if that isn’t already the de facto state of affairs for the Russian presidency. While we’ll note that nothing’s official or confirmed as the only sourcing for Malofeev wrecking Kogelman’s home – five natural kids and another five “adopted,” at least one of them abducted from Ukraine – is reports of Lvova-Belova being filmed holding hands with the “Orthodox oligarch” at a church procession last week, we’ll let this speak for itself. Readers can go to town with the obvious parallels here on the homefront.

South Carolina Senator and Childless American Lindsey Graham on Sunday told CBS’s Rob Costa he was unbothered by colleague and Trump running mate JD Vance’s recent displays of utter contempt for his life choices, chuckling to Costa that nothing was more important than electing the Orange Caesar and his chosen sidekick, even if maybe he died a little bit on the inside while realizing that, no matter how much of a team player he’s been, his party deeply hates who he truly is.

A new ABC News-Ipsos survey finds 48 percent of respondents overall saying they’re “enthusiastic” about Vice President Kamala Harris’s candidacy, a clear edge over 39 percent saying the same about convicted felon former President Trump. The gap is even more pronounced among independents, with 48 percent enthusiastic for Harris to Trump’s 31 percent. Within the respective sides 88 percent of Dems are enthusiastic about Harris to 82 percent of GOP voters for Trump.

We would say this is a significant shift from Biden if ABC News/Ipsos had bothered to ask the question on their prior surveys. It appears they didn’t. They did however note that “Two-thirds (66 percent) of Americans report they are “absolutely certain to vote” in the upcoming presidential election, including 76 percent of Democrats and 78 percent of Republicans. This is up from 70 percent among Democrats and roughly unchanged among Republicans (75 percent) from the last ABC News/Ipsos poll produced before Biden left the race.” That’s not nothing.

Fascist weirdo Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton on Sunday claimed it was “obvious” that convicted felon former President Trump was “making a joke” when he told his fans “You have to get out and vote. You won’t have to do it anymore. Four years, it will be fixed, it will be fine. You won’t have to vote anymore… In four years, you won’t have to vote again,” at some cult gathering on Friday, with Cotton immediately pivoting to a desperate smear of the shit Harris said in her first failed campaign in 2019 about banning fracking and defunding the police as Cotton had no doubt memorized verbatim from the oppo research memos sent to him by his overlords in the NRSC.

“We have a very important Republican Primary Election on Tuesday for Arizona’s 8th Congressional District, with two spectacular America First Candidates. Blake Masters is a very successful businessman, and an incredibly strong supporter of our Movement to Make America Great Again – He is smart and tough! Likewise, Abe Hamadeh, a Veteran, former prosecutor, and fearless fighter for Election Integrity, has been with me all the way!” posted convicted felon former President Trump Sunday, splitting what had been solely his support for Hamadeh, his ULTRA MAGA 2022 attorney general candidate who lost to Dem Kris Mayes by 238 votes, with Masters, the creepy reptilian fascist who Trump backed vs Senator Mark Kelly the same year, losing by a far wider margin.

Seriously, Trump had snubbed Masters and given Hamadeh his “complete and total” backing in December 2023, right after 2022 GOP ticket-mate Kari Lake had voted Masters off the island for not going along with their post-midterms “Stop the Steal” shitshow in the Grand Canyon State.

We have no evidence, but we would hazard that Trump was sold on this by JD Vance, who like Masters is an acolyte of far right nihilist homosexual vampire tech billionaire Peter Thiel.

Vice President Kamala Harris’s shotgun campaign on Sunday announced they raised $200 million from small donors in their first week, 66 percent of it from first-timers, Politico reports.

“The momentum and energy for Vice President Harris is real,” wrote Harris for President communications director Michael Tyler, adding “and so are the fundamentals of this race: this election will be very close and decided by a small number of voters in just a few states.”

Also mentioned in Politico’s article is that Vote.org reports processing 100,000 new registrations this week, 84 percent of them noobs between the ages of 18 and 34. Seems significant.

The Park Fire spread to be the size of the city of Los Angeles and fire officials said it was uncontained, consuming as much as 5,000 acres, or eight square miles, an hour, the Associated Press reports.  It’s already consumed 544 square miles of land and at least 19 structures as it moves north.

Authorities also announced they identified the source of the fire, and it’s far more terrestrial than Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Jewish-controlled space lasers and far more domestic than the migrant panic Murdoch-run outlets wanted to ignite. Instead, police arrested 42-year-old Ronnie Dean Stout II of Chino, who rolled a car that had been set ablaze into a canyon.

Stout then tried to blend into the crowd that assembled before slipping away but authorities were able to identify him. He’ll be charged with arson and various other crimes based on the final damages from the fire, the Butte County District Attorney’s Office said.

Claiming that he believes the campaign doesn’t need his donations, Peter Thiel–the man who launched JD Vance’s political career with the stroke of a pen on the bottom of a $10 million check–says he won’t make any donations to the campaign Vance jumped onto, headed by Donald Trump, the New York Times reports.

Saying he was “disinclined to do it,” Thiel predicted to the Times that the Trump-Vance ticket was going to kick liberal ass in the November election.  He just won’t put his money behind it.  “I went on record saying I would not give money to super PACs, and I still feel I have to stick with that,” he said. “I think it’s going to be very different from 2016 or 2020. I don’t think the election is going to be close. I think Trump and JD will crush the election by a solid margin: 4 percent or 5 percent of the popular vote. And it doesn’t matter what I do. It doesn’t matter what Democrat donors do.”

While very generous in helping Vance buy his seat as well as in a losing effort in Arizona to promote Blake Masters in 2022, Thiel only gave $1 million to Trump’s 2016 effort and nothing to the failing 2020 reelection campaign.

We have no idea how close convicted felon former President Trump is to firing his running mate, eyeliner-wearing Republican Ohio Senator JD Vance… or if he’s considering it at all. We will say however it took more than four years for the fanboys to turn on Mike Pence. It hasn’t even been two weeks yet and already a shit ton of Republicans are feeling buyer’s remorse over Vance. Look for any cues in Trump’s words and body language toward Jaydee. Could be very tea-leafy.