Police and animal control officials in Cleveland, Texas are asking the public’s help with identifying the owner of a kangaroo they corralled on the side of a road Wednesday, writing “Earlier, Cleveland PD Officers were dispatched to the area of FM 1010 regarding an at-large Kangaroo. Officers and Animal Control have rescued the Kangaroo with the help of some good Samaritans. We are now working with Liberty County Livestock Deputies to locate the owner. Anyone with owner information is asked to contact the Liberty County Sheriff’s Office (936-336-4500),” in a Facebook post.

Notice how the post said “kangaroo” and not “Labradoodle with collar but missing tag,” but was still written as though this was just a dog and not a goddamned Australian marsupial. How the fuck are they so casual about this? Shouldn’t they be considering that maybe nobody’s called to report a missing kangaroo because they got kicked to death as the animal made its escape?

Melania Trump, the wife of Donald, friend of Jeffrey Epstein and Brett Ratner, told Fox Business News on Thursday in her form of broken English that she supports her husband’s vision of “a country where all of the people can walk down the street and not be harassed or murdered or women raped.” Irony could not be reach for comment as it was raped and murdered in 2016.

The entire northern Quebec town of Mistissini, part of a Cree Nation reserve, is under lockdown after a person or persons unknown shot and killed “multiple” people, CTV News reports.

Chief Michael Petawabano posted an alert saying “The Eeyou Eenou Police Force (EEPF) and Sûreté du Québec (SQ) are conducting an active investigation,” said Petawabano in his notice, adding “All residents are asked to remain in their homes until further notice. All community buildings, schools, offices, and facilities” in the community home to about 4,000 people would remain closed.

Mass shootings are relatively rare in Canada, owing to stricter gun laws and a culture with fewer white nationalist incels who feel like they have something to prove by massacring innocent people.

“Jerome ‘Too Late’ Powell again refused to cut interest rates, even though he has absolutely no reason to keep them so high. He is hurting our Country, and its National Security. We should have a substantially lower rate now that even this moron admits inflation is no longer a problem or threat.”

“He is costing America Hundreds of Billions of Dollar a year in totally unnecessary and uncalled for INTEREST EXPENSE. Because of the vast amounts of money flowing into our Country because of Tariffs, we should be paying the LOWEST INTEREST RATE OF ANY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.”

“Most of these countries are low interest rate paying cash machines, thought of as elegant, solid, and prime, only because the USA allows them to be. The Tariffs being charged to them, while bringing in $BILLIONS to us, still allows most of them to have a significant trade surplus, though much smaller, with our beautiful, formerly abused Country. In other words, I have been very nice, kind, and gentle to countries all over the World. With a mere flip of the pen, $BILLIONS more would come into the USA, and these countries would have to go back to making money the old fashioned way, not on the back of America. I hope they all appreciate, although many don’t, what our great Country has done for them. The Fed should substantially lower interest rates, NOW! Tariffs have made America strong and powerful again, far stronger and more powerful than any other Nation. Commensurate with this strength, both financial and otherwise, WE SHOULD BE PAYING LOWER INTEREST RATES THAN ANY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD! Thank you for your attention to this matter,” posted the President of the United States on Thursday, eloquently and persuasively insulating from judicial scrutiny all of his attempts to prosecute Powell for not lowering interest rates.

White House sources tell CNN that convicted felon President Trump, late last year enraged over the November New York Times tally finding him having made 39 percent fewer public appearances to date in 2025 than in 2017 among other reporting, commanded his staff to fill out his daily public schedule with shit like “Policy Time” or “Signing Time,” to make his days appear to be busier.

Mind you that, aside from an uptick in travel to try to unfuck the correct perception that he’s too focused on batshit stupid foreign policy crusades than he is in fulfilling campaign pledges to improve Americans’ quality of life, he hasn’t actually been appreciably busier. It’s just he decided that adding certain meetings and what not to the public schedule is somehow the answer to voters’ questions about his declining stamina. The thing is that the daily schedule isn’t actually that easy to find and if they’re not posting it themselves then they’re relying on the MSM’s coverage to trickle it down.

On that, in the second half of their article CNN details how Trump has been privately blaming the media for that and other political woes, writing that he demanded Fox News fire a reporter who said it looked like Russian dictator Vladimir Putin had “steamrolled” him in their pointless August meeting in Alaska. On ICE’s essentially indiscriminate brutality against illegal immigrants and US citizens alike, the fat bastard “blamed the messaging and media bias, not the strategy itself. He complained that the Department of Homeland Security wasn’t doing enough to promote the agenda,” CNN writes, without questioning whether it meant DHS should post more blatantly white nationalist memes.

Trump “argued that Americans couldn’t be unhappy with the agenda if they understood it,” the network writes in the next paragraph, again uncritically because holy shit welcome to PoliSci 101.

Dem Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar on Thursday officially launched her gubernatorial bid on Thursday, moving swiftly to succeed the retiring Gov Tim Walz (who might have been in much better shape if he’d just waited). Klobuchar’s move all but certainly ends what had been a contentious-ish primary between Congresswoman Angie Craig and Lt Gov Peggy Flanagan to succeed retiring other Senator Tina Smith as now they can both run for the two open seats separately.

🚨 BREAKING EXCLUSIVE: Greg Bovino traveled to Mt. Rushmore to deliver a message to his men after being removed from Minneapolis, and agents being put on leave

“I want you to know: I’ve got your back, now and always—I love you, I support you, and I salute you.”

Bovino coined… pic.twitter.com/xnOR6xFHUP

— Nick Sortor (@nicksortor) January 29, 2026

Deprived of his own official social media channels and his assignment to Minnesota after his men murdered an innocent civilian in broad daylight, fall guy Greg Bovino used MAGA influencer douchebag Nick Sortor’s Twitter account to issue one (apparently) final salute to his men from a neighboring state and not his actual post in El Centro, California. It’s not clear if any visitors to Mount Rushmore mistook him for a park ranger and reported that a nearby men’s room toilet was clogged.

“US Senator Susan Collins today announced that US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has ceased its enhanced operations in the State of Maine. The announcement comes after several direct communications between Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem and Senator Collins.”

“‘While the Department of Homeland Security does not confirm law enforcement operations, I can report that Secretary Noem has informed me that ICE has ended its enhanced activities in the State of Maine,’ said Senator Collins. ‘There are currently no ongoing or planned large-scale ICE operations here. I have been urging Secretary Noem and others in the Administration to get ICE to reconsider its approach to immigration enforcement in the state. I appreciate the Secretary’s willingness to listen to and consider my recommendations and her personal attention to the situation in Maine. ICE and Customs and Border Patrol will continue their normal operations that have been ongoing here for many years. I will continue to work with the Secretary on efforts to end illegal immigration, drug smuggling, and other transnational criminal activity,'” says Concern Lady’s office in a statement.

That Sue’s willing to piss off MAGA Mainers in the hopes of appealing to swing voters is telling.

In an email someone with an agenda leaked to Reuters, top ICE leadership this week commanded agents “DO NOT COMMUNICATE OR ENGAGE WITH AGITATORS… It serves no purpose other than inflaming the situation. No one is going to convince the other. The only communication should be the officers issuing commands.” This of course raises the question of what exactly constitutes “issuing commands,” as “get the fuck out of the way” would seem as “engaging” too, wouldn’t it?

A Dem former member of the Ohio state House of Representatives, now running for Attorney General, is bunching up some panties over at far right propaganda site TownHall.com, who are screaming in horror that a leftist would dare suggest that convicted felon President Trump face the death penalty for his crimes against American democracy. “There is a very scary and dangerous mentality taking hold on the Left that involves their post-Trump administration fantasies and the ways they’ll weaponize the government to punish President Trump, Republican politicians, and even Republican voters,” the outlet writes about attorney and non-profit CEO Elliot Forhan.

Yes, you guessed correctly: There’s zero mention of any of the many occasions in which the fat fuck publicly called for his political opponents to be executed, the most recent being about two months ago when he had a fucking meltdown and said Senator Mark Kelly and the five other Dems should be hanged for simply reminding service members that they have a duty to disobey illegal orders.

No surprise there from Town Hall. You could however argue that Forhan – who was elected in 2022 and served only one term and then got absolutely destroyed in the 2024 primary for his state House seat – is definitely a little more direct in his pledge, saying “Hi. This is Elliot Forhan, candidate for Ohio Attorney General. I want to tell you what I mean when I say that I’m going to kill Donald Trump.”

Ughhhhhh man this whole “documentary” thing is just such a freaking joke. Part of it is sad too…

Investigators trying to figure out what caused a luxury private jet carrying six passengers from Houston, Texas to Paris, France to crash in Bangor, Maine amid heavy snow on Sunday night are finding themselves hampered by heavy snow covering the wreckage of the aircraft, the AP reports.

The Bombardier Challenger 600 owned by Houston law firm Arnold and Itkin, carrying attorney Tara Arnold and Joel Osteen Ministries employee Shawna Collins, among others, had stopped at Bangor’s airport to refuel and de-ice when the weather grew increasingly shitty. The conditions prompted another plane to abort its takeoff because of poor visibility and ice accumulating on the wings.

But yeah, it’s still not entirely clear what caused the plane to crash shortly after lifting off.

“Attorney General Ken Paxton is demanding information from Cypress-Fairbanks and Grapevine-Colleyville Independent School Districts (‘ISDs’). The information demands are part of an ongoing investigation regarding the schools’ ties to the Islamic Games of North America, which hosts events sponsored by a chapter of a designated foreign terrorist organization – the Council on American-Islamic Relations (‘CAIR’). In November 2025, the Islamic Games of North America announced plans to host an event at Bridgeland High School in October 2026. It was noted that the New Jersey chapter of CAIR (‘CAIR NJ’) would be a sponsor of the event. In addition, the Dallas Islamic Games had been set to be hosted in May at Colleyville Heritage High School. Public statements and reporting have indicated that one or both of the events has been cancelled or rescheduled.”

“‘The spread of radical Islam in Texas must be stopped, and if school districts are continuing to promote or partner with organizations tied to an FTO, that ends now,’ said Attorney General Paxton.”

“‘I will ensure that taxpayers’ dollars are not materially supporting activities by Islamist terrorists in violation of Texas law.’ On November 18, 2025, Governor Greg Abbott designated CAIR as a foreign terrorist organization and transnational criminal organization under Texas law. On January 21, 2026, Governor Abbott notified school officials that Texas law prohibits this illegal activity from taking place on public school property. As Texas’s Chief Law Enforcement Officer, Attorney General Paxton will ensure that state law is enforced and that taxpayer funds are not used to materially support terrorist organizations or their affiliates. As part of the investigation, Attorney General Paxton has demanded communications, contracts, and related documents between the ISDs, the Islamic Games of North America, and CAIR or its affiliated chapters,” says Picasso-face’s office in a statement.

Minneapolis — A masked rioter who had her hand injured falls to the ground and rolls around dramatically. Her comrades call for "medics" to come help. Part of the riot teams include "medic" brigades — fellow rioters tasked with providing basic first aid. https://t.co/I98lmhMc6a

— Andy Ngo (@MrAndyNgo) January 28, 2026

So obnoxious and ubiquitous are AI chatbot-generated papers that some college kids who actually write their own papers are turning to different chatbots to tweak them to make sure they’re not going to be wrongly accused of using an AI chatbot to have generated them, NBC News reports.

And of course the cheaters are using those very same tools to “humanize” their papers. And professors are using those tools to check for artificially “humanized” papers. One of the tools,GPTZero, rated the above content as “100 percent human.” Make of that what you will.

Flipping through MAGA propaganda site articles with headlines like “Here’s Why Many Say the Ilhan Omar Assault Was Staged” – titled as such because the writer’s too much of a pussy to just say it himself – it was already obvious that they want to disown such an incompetent douchebag like Anthony Kazmierczak. Now they’ll just double down as, per the New York Post, a hazmat team determined that the substance in the syringe wielded by Kazmierczak was apple cider vinegar.

Can’t really blame them for being unable to countenance that this fucking slob was one of theirs and instead he was somehow paid by Omar to stage the “attack” – scare quotes used there because it was so lame, not that it was a false flag. Just like the filthy Q-pilled former hippie that smashed in Paul Pelosi’s skull and the trailer trash who sacked the Capitol on January 6th, they refuse to allow themselves to come to grips with who they really are: People so defunct that they think goddamned apple cider vinegar is an effective weapon against the “Somali invasion” of Minnesota.

A “bomb cyclone” – as in something that isn’t actually new but weather media needed some obnoxious, attention-grabbing name to apply to an atmospheric phenomena so here it is in the goddamned headline – could hit the US East Coast this weekend, Fox 5 WNYW reports.

Forecasters expect causing brutal wind and snow conditions possibly even worse than last weekend’s storm that dumped a shit ton of frozen precipitation and killed at least 40 people, but can’t exactly nail down just where will be hit hardest. The storm could mostly brush the outer edges of the Carolinas down south and eastern Long Island/Cape Cod in the north or it could aim directly for New York City and thus a lot of the coast on that path. Thus your sucky experience may vary.

The two Border Patrol agents who shot and killed Minneapolis nurse Alex Pretti on Saturday have been placed on administrative leave, Fox News’s Bill Melugin reports, adding that this is SOP following a shooting. Unclear is why it didn’t happen on Saturday afternoon then if it’s SOP.