President Joe Biden on Sunday announced he was abruptly ending his reelection effort, leaving questions about his successor candidate unanswered, while thanking Vice President Kamala Harris for being “an extraordinary partner in all this work,” and that he “will speak to the Nation later this week in more detail about my decision.” Needless to say this is a big fucking deal. More to come.
The above headline is the entirety of the content of convicted felon former President Trump’s 11:58 AM EDT Sunday Truth Social post, followed by another at 12:21 PM EDT that said “MAGA – MAKE AGRICULTURE GREAT AGAIN,” suggesting the fat bastard was trying to come up with backronyms for his infamous metonym for his movement and all the hatred and violence that comes with it.
The agriculture one’s alright while the gas one is more than a little forced. Obviously it should say “MAKE GAS AFFORDABLE AGAIN” but, notwithstanding the fact that a gallon of gas is now in 2024 not significantly more expensive than it was pre-COVID 19 pandemic after spiking in 2022 into early 2023, then that spells “MGAA.” This way it looks like he’s commanding refiners – a pretty right-leaning industry, to say the least – to simply start making their blends of gasoline more affordable.
Anyway it seems as though the fat bastard already gave up on trying to come up with other words to cram into a new backronym for “MAGA.” The hard truth is it’s actually pretty difficult. The best liberal memesters were ever able to come up with were “My Attorney Got Arrested” and “Mueller Ain’t Going Away,” with “best” doing a lot of work there. They were pretty fucking cringey even when they were still fresh six years ago, to be honest. We almost certainly saw something along the lines of “Mango-Mussolini Ain’t Getting Acquitted” during the NYC trial. That was alright. Definitely an improvement over the old ones if far short of knock your socks off clever and witty.
What’s left for Trump after “agriculture” though? If we’re talking strictly about policies that he pretends to be stronger on than Democrats then we’re just as lost as he is here.
“I’ve said that the Democrats would stop at absolutely nothing [lists off grievances…] and I’ve said on this show before I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried something even worse, alluding to exactly what happened just over a week ago. And I was right,” Eric Trump on Sunday linked both impeachments and criminal indictments against Trump with the failed assassination attempt.
The New York Times on Sunday printed a guest essay by West Wing and The Newsroom creator Aaron Sorkin, titled “How I Would Script This Moment for Biden and the Democrats.”
And yeah, that’s all we have to add here. Not going to get into the content, or even read it. We’re simply reporting the headline of what Sorkin wrote and the Times decided to print. That’ll do.
Asked why he’s supporting efforts to fuck everything up legally for the Democratic ticket if Joe Biden is replaced after the nomination if he was also against disqualifying Trump for inciting an insurrection against the government, Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson on Sunday told CNN’s Jake Tapper they’re two completely different things and also Joe Biden is a danger to national security.
Useless lame duck “independent” West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin on Sunday told CNN’s Jake Tapper that President Joe Biden should step aside. Not sure if it even counts that he said it.
The bad news in a new Gallup national survey is that 55 percent of respondents favor reducing what’s listed generically as “immigration,” up from 41 percent just a year ago, driven by sagging support for increasing or at least maintaining current inflows. The problem with the question is that it doesn’t differentiate between legal immigration – an expensive, byzantine fucking mess of a system that’s decades overdue for reform, illegal immigration – as in simply jumping the border or overstaying a tourist visa, or the grey area of asylum claims – plenty of them no doubt legitimate, but a system often exploited by people who would’ve otherwise just jumped the border.
And the actual issue at hand when it comes to the Fox News catch-all of “the border,” almost certainly what’s been metastasizing into the finding of that question, something that white nationalist propagandists are going to exploit as “a massive shift against ALL forms of immigration.”
Naturally they’ll skip over the good news in the poll: 81 percent support “Allowing immigrants who were brought to the US illegally as children the chance to become US citizens if they meet certain requirements over a period of time,” and 70 percent supporting “Allowing immigrants living in the US illegally the chance to become US citizens if they meet certain requirements over a period of time,” both of which are total non-starters with Republican politicians dependent on the votes of xenophobic losers. They would never get elected again if they alienated those opposed to both forms of amnesty – no matter how ambiguous the “certain requirements” part is worded.
At least 15 people are dead in eastern Texas in the two weeks since Hurricane Beryl hit and left millions without electricity, much of that toll – on top of eight killed during the storm itself – believed to be heat-related due to the ongoing power outages and expected to climb once the data can be collected and analyzed by the Department of State Health Services, the Associated Press reports.
Convicted felon former President Trump and eyeliner-wearing Ohio Senator JD Vance will on Saturday hold their first joint rally in Michigan. Vance apparently already took the stage and said some shit to make sure that he continues to have the Kremlin’s endorsement on the ticket.
Demoted former Navy physician and current MAGA Congressman Ronny Johnson Jackson on Saturday confirmed in a letter that, based on his examination of convicted felon former President Trump, that a bullet – rather than shards of glass from a teleprompter that was hit – struck the fat bastard’s ear during the assassination attempt at the MAGA rally in Pennsylvania last Saturday.
A “well-known Democratic operative” anonymously tells CNN that he/she is beyond ready to put Vice President Kamala Harris at the top of the Dem ticket, saying “Fuck it, I’m coconut pilled, I just want this to stop,” referring to Harris’s punchline about something falling out of a coconut tree.
My statement on why I believe President Joe Biden should pass the torch to Vice President Kamala Harris. pic.twitter.com/RZUzVKCCcj
— Mark Takano (@MarkTakano) July 20, 2024
Meanwhile California Congressman Mark Takano became the umpthirtieth House Dem to call on President Joe Biden to step aside, but as far as we know he’s the first one to explicitly say Harris should take over. Senator Liz Warren meanwhile did not directly call on Biden to throw in the towel, but instead offered a contingent endorsement for Harris, telling MSNBC “If President Biden decides to step back, we have Vice President Kamala Harris, who is ready to step up to unite the party.”
“We are under attack from Crooked Joe Biden, the WORST PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE United States, and a Weak and Pathetic man who uses the ‘Justice’ Department to harass and intimidate his Political Opponents because he is in no way capable of winning by himself.”
“He has created a horrible precedent for the future. Democrat appointed Judges and Prosecutors, together with local DA’s and Attorney Generals, have played the game with them. Based on the opinion of legal scholars and experts, they had no good case out of the many against me, but of all the cases, their best shot was the documents case, a complete HOAX, in Florida. They illegally RAIDED MY HOUSE, Mar-a-Lago, in that one. Well, that case was just THROWN OUT IN FULL IN THAT IT WAS UNCONSTITUTIONAL. THE OTHERS ARE ON WEAK GROUNDS, including those where we have Crooked Judges and Prosecutors. It is all a Political Witch Hunt, and Biden should insist that EVERYTHING NOW BE DROPPED. RUN A FAIR AND OPEN CAMPAIGN!!!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Saturday, just under a week after a failed assassination attempt that we were told was the direct result of rhetoric like saying the country is “under attack” from the fat fuck.
The demented 45th President also congratulated Peter Navarro, his “Harvard educated and brilliant expert on trade, for having endured a totally unfair and unnecessary 4 month stay IN JAIL. VERY UNFAIR! He was released on Wednesday and went directly to Milwaukee where he Spoke about his trials and tribulations at the Republican Convention. He was given a rousing reception, and looked better than he did when Biden put him in – But Biden looks far worse (interesting, isn’t it?)!”
Zambian President Hakinde Hichilema on Thursday fired every member of the country’s Anti-Corruption Commission (ACC) after finding credible evidence that they engaged in you guessed it.
More specifically, the BBC reports the members were accused of taking kickbacks from corrupt politicians in exchange for commission investigators clearing them of accusations. The house cleaning comes days after the ACC’s chief Thom Shamakamba resigned amid accusations of corruption against him and Solicitor General Marshal Muchende over some kickback scam.
Then there’s now-former Finance Minister Stanley Kakubo getting caught on tape accepting bribes from some Chinese Communist scumbags back in December. And former First Lady Esther Lungu, her daughter Chiyeso Katete, and another family member getting arrested on charges of possession of stolen property in May. And Old Man Lungu himself effectively placed under house arrest for basically threatening a coup. It’s like you could even call Zambian capital Lusaka a “swamp.”
“Over the last few weeks, I’ve heard from Ohioans on important issues, such as how to continue to grow jobs in our state, give law enforcement the resources to crack down on fentanyl, protect Social Security and Medicare from cuts, and prevent ongoing efforts to impose a national abortion ban.”
“These are the issues Ohioans care about and it is my job to keep fighting for them. I agree with the many Ohioans who have reached out to me. At this critical time, our full attention must return to these important issues. I think the President should end his campaign,” says Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown in a statement, joining other vulnerable Red Stater Jon Tester, who said the same Thursday.
Fox News liberal Jessica Tarlov has been back to work after some time on maternity leave for a week or two but Friday she was back annoying the shit out of her MAGA co-hosts, reminding them just how badly their Orange Allah sucked in his nomination acceptance speech on Thursday night.
“The White House is in regular contact with CrowdStrike’s executive leadership and tracking progress on remediating affected systems. We have offered US government support. Our understanding is that this is not a cyber attack, but rather a faulty technical update,” says the Biden Administration in an update on the ongoing clusterfuck, via some dipshit Epoch Times reporter.
He added a “🚨” emjoi to underscore the supposedly alarming nature of the contact between them.
Hey everyone who fantasizes openly on the internet about moving to some desolate rock in the middle of nowhere if Trump gets elected again – or doing it anyway – here’s some material for that pointless, time-wasting daydream of moving to a place with no internet! Or people. Or anything other than what you can drag with you. Literally the first word of the lengthy pitch for a concrete dungeon on a desolate rock by K Allan Properties’ in Kirkwall, Orkney, Scotland is “Imagine”!
“Imagine living [see?] on this stunning uninhabited island, a place of serene beauty and complete solitude. Copinsay, one of the enchanting Orkney Islands off the east coast of mainland Scotland, offers an unparalleled lifestyle opportunity. This property within this uninhabited island is now available for those seeking an extraordinary retreat. Requiring renovation works [which in non-real estate agent-ese means “complete wreck”], this property presents the perfect opportunity for someone seeking a solitary lifestyle with a blank canvas to create a space they can truly call home.”
“The main building, a charming [Holy shit, look at this, lol] two-story structure, serves as a perfect haven for those desiring solitude or an extraordinary getaway. Complementing the main house are practical outbuildings, including a shed by the pier and a tractor shed, providing ample storage space. Modern conveniences ensure comfortable living in this remote paradise. Benefit from a fully restored private well [that’s modern?], complete with a generator-operated electric pump, ensuring a reliable water supply. The property is equipped with Calor gas heating for cozy comfort. Solar panels, which require fitting onto the property, will harness the power of the sun [and you know how sunny it gets on remote islands in the North Sea], and large storage batteries ensure consistent electricity availability. With previously approved planning permission (which has now lapsed) [and good luck with that paperwork] for a wind turbine between the helipad and the house, there’s significant potential to expand your eco-friendly living setup [no, the lighthouse itself isn’t included].”
A federal judge on Friday commanded the false idolators in Louisiana to halt thou plan to posteth thy Ten Commandments in classrooms until thou legal challenges resolveth, thy AP reporteth.
Vice President Kamala Harris will on Friday participate in what the New York Times is calling a “short notice” call with wealthy Democratic donors, all convened by LinkedIn founder Reid Hoffman.
“We continue to find ourselves in a rapidly evolving environment… With the stakes as high as they are this cycle, we have to remain focused on the critical work that needs to be done to protect our democracy,” Hoffman wrote in an email addressed to “friends and allies” in donor community. The Times article says it isn’t clear what Harris’s role in the call will be, as in whether she “plans to encourage the restive donor base to calm down or to deliver some other message.”
Anything other than the former looks like she’s leading a palace coup. Harris hasn’t done anything stupid in the last three weeks, so no reason to expect she’d somehow fuck it up now. Kamala appears to be reading up on how Gerald Ford was conducting himself 50 years ago exactly: Staying as fucking far away as possible from anything and anyone even remotely pushing Nixon toward resigning from the presidency. Still, leaks get twisted and turned to serve agendas so leaving the Times ample space to write that ominous “some other message” is not great… unless that “other message” is going to be the first word of a shift on the Dem ticket, sanctioned by Joe Biden.
UPDATE 7/19/2024 2:31 PM EDT: NBC’s Ali Vitali confirms the Times’s reporting, but adds “Biden’s advisors asked her to do the call.” So probably just filling in while Joe recuperates from The Rona.
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