House Republicans aren’t sure whether they’re actually going to put a vote to hold US Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt of Congress – despite it being on the official schedule as of Tuesday – because, you guessed it, they aren’t sure they have the votes, Punchbowl News reports.

You have to give props to the producer at CNN who had the foresight to not just know Fox would be a cornucopia of hypocrisy in their messaging after Hunter Biden was found guilty of federal weapons charges versus how they handled the aftermath of Donald Trump’s conviction, but to also plan on how to clearly highlight Fox’s well-known hypocrisy.

Really hoping a two-tier justice system exists to benefit the painfully self-absorbed, shirt fetishist and anti-American nationalist Steve Bannon on Tuesday filed an emergency motion with the DC Court of Appeals to delay his prison admission date, NBC News reports.

“The government seeks to imprison Mr. Bannon for the four-month period leading up to the November election, when millions of Americans look to him for information on important campaign issues,” wrote Bannon’s lawyer. “This would also effectively bar Mr. Bannon from serving as a meaningful advisor in the ongoing national campaign.”

Bannon was convicted of two counts of contempt of Congress, and after exhausting his appeals, he was ordered to report to jail on July 1st to start a four-month prison sentence.  A call to inquire if Bannon was scared went unanswered.

The Tuesday night special to replace now-resigned Republican Ohio Congressman Bill Johnson has been called by the Associated Press for GOP state Senator Mike Rulli over Dem Mike Kripchak at 98 percent of precincts reporting – 32,563 R votes at 54.6 percent to 27,045 D votes at 45.4 percent.

It got so close that Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman wrote “Rulli has to hope for a better Election Day vote surge elsewhere” during his usual play-by-play of returns before he called it for the Republican about 20 minutes later, remarking it was much closer than expected.

This is not a swing district. Johnson won it 67 percent to 32 percent in 2022. True, the absolute turnout was far higher – 189,883 R to 90,500 D – but when you look at it in a larger context of supposed “voter intensity” among the out-party compared to the Trump years you have to wonder why it’s so limp during the Biden years. Like Democrats were fired up and surged to the polls in every race, pulling some serious upsets – especially in off-year and special elections. What the hell do Republicans have to brag about besides flipping the Virginia governorship in 2021? They elected fucking George Santos and now the Dem who he succeeded is now literally back in that same seat.

Sean Hannity is flustered.  He can’t remember which debunked conspiracy theory he needs to reference after the Biden-controlled Deep State convicted the President’s son on federal gun charges.  So Hannity does what Hannity does:  he ties Hunter Biden’s gun conviction to Donald Trump’s martyrdom/conviction for financial fraud/civil fraud penalties, and then somehow claims this all proves Joe Biden is corrupt.  I hope he loosened up before he made that stretch.

Train wreck Nancy Mace won the Republican primary in South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District in her reelection bid, overcoming a challenge from Catherine Templeton, a member of former governor Nikki Haley’s Cabinet and an endorsee of former Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy, whom Mace voted to oust.

While the district was redrawn to make it safer Republicans, Mace remains one of the most despised members of the House Republican Conference, coming to attention as an anti-Trump House Republican after January 6th before jumping on the MAGA bandwagon and going far-right with her support of the Chaos caucus.  Her sycophancy worked so well, Donald Trump endorsed her.

“Musk has openly criticized OpenAI and its chief executive, Sam Altman, for focusing more on growing a business and making money than serving humanity.”  We’re no longer in the business of copying-and-pasting others’ news stories wholesale anymore, but coming across this nugget about quasi-Lex Luthor Elon Musk from the Washington Post merited its own highlight.  Apparently, the man who destroyed Twitter to placate white nationalists thinks businesses should generally “serve humanity.”  Who knew?

The Post story focuses on Musk dropping his lawsuit against OpenAI, a company he was an early investor in, but abandoned in favor of building his own version.  OpenAI ended up taking loads of investment from Microsoft and introducing a new age of AI with ChatGPT.  Apparently, Musk is pissy that he left the party before the band started.

Joey Chestnut, one of the best-known personalities in the realm of glutinous eating competitions, was barred from competing in the annual Nathan’s Fourth of July hot dog eating contest on Coney Island because he’s sponsored by a vegan sausage company, CNN reports.

Major League Eating–yes, that the governing body of these gorge-fests–passive-aggressively said in announcing Chestnut’s ban, “We are devastated to learn that Joey Chestnut has chosen to represent a rival brand that sells plant-based hot dogs rather than competing in the 2024 Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest.”

A 16-time winner of the “Mustard Yellow Belt” and currently the top competitor in MLE’s rankings, Chestnut represents plant-based meat product Impossible Brands.  MLE noted Chestnut has competed in other hot-dog-based competitions that did not have a sausage-producing sponsor.  Nathan’s, however, apparently did not want the Impossible brand represented on stage.

A registered Republican Oregon man pleaded guilty Monday to three counts of causing another person to ingest a controlled substance after an incident last August in which he drugged three 12 year-old girls who had been staying over with his daughter for a slumber party, Oregon Live reports.

Michael Meyden, 57, who probably voted for Trump, was “unusually” involved in the girls’ sleepover plans and continually checked in on them throughout the night before giving them “mango smoothies with white chunks in them” that later turned out to be benzodiazepine. The MAGA pedophile’s plans for sick enjoyment were foiled when one of the girls dumped the drink and pretended to be asleep. She then watched as Meyden crept up and touched another one’s nose as if checking if she was knocked out by the date rape drug. That girl then texted her mom, begging her to “please pick me up and say I had a family emergency. I don’t feel safe. I might not respond but please come get me 😭, Please. Please pick up. Please. PLEASE!!” at 1:43 AM that night.

Luckily the mom got the message and called the other parents to the house, finding Meyden insisting that the parents come back in the morning and telling her the girls were still asleep. They ignored him and grabbed the girls, taking the other two to the hospital. One “walked slowly and used the assistance of her mother for balance, her eyelids were heavy,” per the arrest warrant for Meyden, who “tearfully apologized” as he took a deal for just two years Monday. Meyden claimed in court he was simply trying to get the girls to sleep before a full itinerary the next day, something that MAYBE might have flown if the girl who stayed awake hadn’t witnessed Meyden attempting to drag her friend away twice. Now Meyden gets his own really long sleepover with lots of “friends.”

Several Republicans, mostly anonymously, tell NBC News that Hunter Biden’s conviction is a good thing for them politically. Not because at the surface level it’s an embarrassment and a distraction for Joe Biden – it really isn’t and even the most pessimistic of left and/or center voices are going to argue otherwise. And not because swing and/or lower-info voters are going to buy the bullshit story that it was an “op” to make the justice system seem more “legitimate” after Trump’s conviction. They won’t. It’s that it will shut fellow convicted felon former President Trump up with his shrill unending screams of “persecution” and force him to campaign on the actual “issues” instead.

Or at least that’s the hope, according to donor Dan Eberhart, who says “Hunter Biden’s conviction definitely weakens the argument,” and that “the justice system is working,” which would then cause him to shift focus onto the economy. Another unnamed Trump minion, who also wants Trump to let the “weaponized justice system” bullshit go and move on to his alleged “strengths” on crimeflation border invasion-pocalypse, says they think the Hunter conviction “won’t matter a ton, but it undercuts the argument of a two-tiered system of justice. The more that argument exists and is pushed, the worse it is for Trump. It’s too close to ‘threats to democracy’ and drives that issue.”

Another person, described as “Republican strategist who spoke on the condition of anonymity to avoid incurring the wrath of Trump’s campaign” (lol) was even less optimistic. “It, at a minimum, slows the momentum and the clear-cut argument that the Trump campaign previously had about Biden’s weaponization of the justice system,” said the strategist, adding that “It’s less of a bumper-sticker than it was before” and now it’s less believable that Biden can be pulling the DOJ’s strings.

The birth of a white bison calf at Yellowstone has fulfilled a great Lakota prophecy for a time of plenty for all, the AP reports on a real breath of fresh air after all this misery and bullshit.

From the article’s description of the legend, verbatim: “For the Lakota, the birth of a white buffalo calf with a black nose, eyes and hooves is akin to the second coming of Jesus Christ, Looking Horse said. Lakota legend says about 2,000 years ago – when nothing was good, food was running out and bison were disappearing – White Buffalo Calf Woman appeared, presented a bowl pipe and a bundle to a tribal member, taught them how to pray and said that the pipe could be used to bring buffalo to the area for food. As she left, she turned into a white buffalo calf.” The AP then quotes from Chief Arvol Looking Horse, the spiritual leader of the Lakota, Dakota and the Nakota Oyate in South Dakota, and the 19th keeper of the sacred White Buffalo Calf Woman Pipe and Bundle. “And some day when the times are hard again,” he said. “I shall return and stand upon the earth as a white buffalo calf, black nose, black eyes, black hooves.” Exactly like the one spotted in Yellowstone.

Isn’t that great? Now we don’t have to worry. The white buffalo calf’s got it figured out for us and will… Wait… Shit. What if it applies to Lakota people only and the rest of us are still fucked?

No one came away feeling like they truly won when a deer decided to jump through the windshield of a Rhode Island public bus in Warwick on Monday afternoon. Not the six passengers, three of whom required hospitalization from the broken glass, per the Providence Journal. Not the driver, Leocadio Hernandez, despite being lauded by Rhode Island Public Transportation Authority CEO Chris Durand in a statement commending Hernandez’s “exemplary response to this unique situation” and “exceptional alertness and composure under pressure.” Not Durand because now people are going to question why the hell his agency’s buses don’t have shatterproof windows installed.

And certainly not the deer, whose corpse was removed from the bus by state Department of Environmental Management personnel, having expired from its injuries shortly after the collision.

Nobody won this battle. To speak otherwise is to speak of the hubris of both man and deer. Mostly the deer though. What kind of fucking dumbass just jumps into a moving vehicle’s windshield? Lol.

“As I said last week, I am the President, but I am also a Dad. Jill and I love our son, and we are so proud of the man he is today. So many families who have had loved ones battle addiction understand the feeling of pride seeing someone you love come out the other side and be so strong and resilient in recovery. As I also said last week, I will accept the outcome of this case and will continue to respect the judicial process as Hunter considers an appeal. Jill and I will always be there for Hunter and the rest of our family with our love and support. Nothing will ever change that,” says President Joe Biden in a statement reacting to Hunter’s conviction on federal gun charges.

Hunter Biden guilty.

Yawn.

The true crimes of the Biden Crime Family remain untouched.

This is a fake trial trying to make the Justice system appear "balanced."

Don't fall for it.

— Charlie Kirk (@charliekirk11) June 11, 2024

THE PRESIDENT’S SON HAS BEEN CONVICTED IN A VERY UNFAIR TRIAL BROUGHT BY THE BIDEN REGIME! America will never be the same again after this travesty. A crooked, Trump-appointed judge and prosecutor brought this paperwork crime against him! TURN YOUR FLAGS UPSIDE DOWN!

AMERICA IS FINISHED! This, um, fascist political trial was a complete disgrace and uh… Aren’t libs supposed to be just as outraged and furious over what just happened? Somebody get mad here.

Anyway, the jury found Hunter guilty on all three counts, per CBS News’s Scott MacFarlane.

The now-Nate Silver-less FiveThirtyEight (sort-of rebranded as “538”) have launched their 2024 presidential election forecast which, as of this morning, find Joe Biden winning 529 out of every 1000 simulations to convicted felon former President Trump’s 467, plus another four simulation runs in which neither won the Electoral College… which is almost certainly a Trump win.

“This responds to your letter to the Department of Justice (Department), dated April 30, 2024, regarding a state criminal trial brought exclusively by the Manhattan District Attorney (District Attorney). This also responds to questions regarding that prosecution and jury verdict posed to the Attorney General during his appearance before the Committee on the Judiciary (Committee) on June 4, 2024. The Committee has demanded information from the Department because of what you describe as a ‘perception that the Justice Department is’ behind the District Attorney’s so-called ‘politicized prosecution’ and a ‘perception that the Biden Justice Department is politicized and weaponized’ to that end. The Department does not generally make extensive efforts to rebut conspiratorial speculation, including to avoid the risk of lending it credibility.”

“However, consistent with the Attorney General’s commitment to transparency, the Department has taken extraordinary steps to confirm what was already clear: there is no basis for these false claims. The Department has conducted a comprehensive search for email communications since January 20, 2021, through the date of the verdict, between any officials in Department leadership, including all political appointees in those offices, and the District Attorney’s office regarding any investigation or prosecution of the former President. We found none. This is unsurprising. The District Attorney’s office is a separate entity from the Department. The Department does not supervise the work of the District Attorney’s office, does not approve its charging decisions, and does not try its cases.”

“The Department has no control over the District Attorney, just as the District Attorney has no control over the Department. The Committee knows this,” writes Assistant Attorney General Carlos Uriarte in response to spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan’s bullshit conspiracy theory that Biden secretly directed the Manhattan case against the Orange Slob because one former DOJ official was on the DA’s team. Emphasis ours where Uriarte tells Jordan he knows he’s lying.

A woman was killed in a car crash Tuesday morning. https://t.co/Fk2F3ejfqQ

— KMOV (@KMOV) June 11, 2024