Former Apprentice producer Bill Pruitt, whose NDA just expired after 20 years, writes in Slate that then-corrupt businessman/game show host referred to the first season’s runner-up, Kwame Jackson, as the n-word when deciding to choose his white guy, Bill Rancic, as the competition’s winner. And it’s on tape, somewhere, as the production staff recorded all behind the scenes meetings to determine the outcome, but Pruitt is less than optimistic it can be found.

Slate adds that the other two people in the room, showrunner Jay Bienstock and then-Trump Organization Executive VP Carolyn Kepcher did not reply to requests for comments about the incident. Pruitt writes earlier in the piece (which is chock full of other embarrassing shit) that he’s come to believe that the tape of this exchange and others “will never be found.”

Jury deliberations resume Thursday in fat former President Trump’s Manhattan pornstar payoff hush money trial and as such there’s no real reason to do a live blog feed to cover every single little minute update in however long it takes for them to hopefully do the right thing. We’ll replace the above video feed with a clip of Donald’s ranting when it happens. If it happens.

Whoa, you may need to sit down for this one: A shocking new report in Politico says that in the event former President Trump is convicted by the jury in his New York pornstar hush money case, he and his campaign plan to simply spin it is a “win” for him and boldly deny its legal legitimacy.

That’s fucking crazy, right? It gets better. “Insiders” say the “spin” will entail “leaning in” to an image of Trump as a persecuted victim of an abusive justice system run by Democrats. That’s so mind-blowingly outside the box that political scientists are going to be studying the strategy for years.

But wait! There’s more: Trump may also use an adverse outcome to portray himself as a resilient “fighter” whose sheer force of will transcends the petty machinations of the bookworm Democrats who live in a cloistered world defined by dated rules and nebbishy “norms” of governance.

Watch out media! This Donald Trump guy just might know a thing or two about attracting attention.

House Speaker Mike Johnson on Thursday told Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman he plans to set a date and time within the next eight weeks for Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu to address a joint session of Congress to help “Bibi” advance his genocidal, far right agenda in both the US and Israel.

Colorado law will require disclosure of AI-generated content in political ads https://t.co/1cjcU71Y3s

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) May 30, 2024

Though the situation on the ground in Ukraine has been better for them lately thanks to Republicans in Congress taking way too fucking long to send more aid to Kyiv, Russian military conscripts still have it pretty rough and leaders are looking for new ways to make it seem like less of a violent nightmare to those bound for the front. The Daily Beast reports one Russian Orthodox Church leader has conjured up a new way to improve morale: Tell men they can be miraculously resurrected.

“In war, there are no unbelievers! When you are facing physical death, every fiber of your soul comes alive. Right now, there are many wonderful testimonies of Christ’s victory over death. My wife sends me many military testimonies and video clips. Before Lent, I watched a video about one Chinese man who participated in the special military operation. A bullet hit him in the stomach, destroying all of his insides. He died from this and then was resurrected,” Russian Orthodox Church Archpriest Artemiy Vladimirov said during a bit on Russia’s state-run version of Fox News earlier this month.

“Saint Luke of Crimea appeared to him and completely healed him, his insides were fully restored. He was baptized along with his relatives, all of them are photographed together, dressed in white clothes, baptized into our Orthodox Church,” Vladmirov continued, unsubtly telling fans of the Soyuz TV network they could be resurrected in combat too if they just have some faith in the Holy Kremlin.

Among the too long list of demented, fascistic shit in the Texas Republican Party’s new proposed platform last weekend was a resolution to rig elections in the GOP’s favor permanently, the first being an effective state-level electoral college with “The State Legislature shall cause to be enacted a State Constitutional Amendment to add the additional criteria for election to a statewide office to include the majority vote of the counties with each individual county being assigned one vote allocated to the popular majority vote winner of each individual county.”

The conservatives on the High Court can’t stop themselves from stepping over ethical lines.  Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett’s husband, Jesse Barrett, has been retained by Fox News to represent the network in a defamation case, Rolling Stone reports.

Mr. Barrett, a lawyer, is defending the network’s Chicago Fox affiliate, which is also owned by the Fox Corporation, in a defamation suit brought by a suburban municipal worker who had a criminal conviction on a sexual assault as a teenager and served 24 years.  The local Fox station, intent on causing panic, reported that the mayor of Dolton, Illinois, hired the man, a known sex offender, to enter and inspect the interior of buildings.  The man was actually hired to inspect the exterior of buildings, he claims, and he alleges the accusations made by Fox caused him to be arrested for violating the conditions of his parole and status on the sex registry.

Defending Fox, Barrett argued that the “gist” of the report was “indisputably true” even if details were incorrect.  While it’s unlikely this case will reach the Supreme Court, necessitating Justice Barrett recuse herself, she’ll still be dining on Fox dollars as she sits on the bench.

Worried that strikes to Russia’s missile early warning system used to detect nuclear attacks could unsettle the Kremlin, the Biden Administration insisting on limits for Ukrainian forces using American weaponry, the Washington Post reports.  The caution came after Kyiv targeted a radar site 1,100 miles inside Russia.

The concern cuts in several ways.  Eliminating the advanced warning system allows Ukraine to more effectively strike targets in both Russia and Ukraine.  But the systems are also key to Russia’s nuclear deterrence capability against potential enemies like the United States and China.  Targeting these systems may push Moscow to higher alert and incite them to take more aggressive action including using nuclear weapons against Ukraine, administration officials fear.

“Russia could think it has a diminished ability to detect early nuclear activity against it, which then could become an issue,” a US official commented. “It should be obvious to everyone that there’s no [American] intention whatsoever of using nuclear weapons against Russia. But there’s certainly concern about how Russia could perceive its deterrent capabilities being targeted and early-warning systems being attacked.”

“But even so, even if they don’t acquit, one juror can stand up and say, I will not be part of this travesty of justice.  I hope and pray that happens,” facial hair “don’t” Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) asserts, making plain Team Trump doesn’t hold out hope for a complete exoneration. “That will be good for the country if they ended this ridiculous charade and they let the voters decide in November.”

Secret Trump advisor and guy who thinks he’s a cast member of “The Sopranos” Sean Hannity is incensed that Judge Juan Merchan is–gasp!–following the Constitution!  “This after constantly favoring the Constitution, susta– uh, the, uh, the prosecution sustaining….”  Sean Hannity is showing the signs of age and mental decline.

David Smith, the CEO of conservative propaganda syndicate Sinclair Broadcasting, has been funding a lawsuit against Baltimore City schools his local stations are covering extensively without any notice that the stations’ owner is responsible for the case, the Baltimore Banner reports.

As the Baltimore Banner notes, Smith’s Sinclair-owned WBFF Fox 45 in Baltimore spotlights various issues concerning city schools but recently an activist named Jovani Patterson filed a lawsuit against Baltimore’s school system claiming the system was defrauding taxpayers by receiving money for “ghost students” who are listed on school rolls but don’t attend class.

A frequent stand-in for Smith in legal suits, Patterson claims a massive problem of “ghost students” in Baltimore City schools are defrauding taxpayers of millions of dollars.  An audit of five years’ of attendance records by the Maryland Office of the Inspector General, however, found the incidence of counting students who are not in attendance happens with about 0.3% of pupils daily, or around 220 students in the 78,000 student system.

Analysts who reviewed photos of a bomb dropped by Israeli forces on Rafah in Gaza that killed dozens of people was a US-made guided munition, CBS News reports.  A photojournalist on the scene assembled fragments of the munition that included English words and other markings hinting it came from the US.

“I instantly knew the housing was a GBU [guided bomb unit],” former US Army bomb disposal specialist Trevor Ball said after seeing photographs. “I’ve seen a lot of them in this conflict, and I’ve even gone back and looked at past conflicts just to get an idea of what ordinance Israel has used in the past when I started looking into this, and it’s a very distinct object, the GBU. It’s a very unique round.”

The Biden Administration has warned Israel about the judicious use of US-supplied weapons, particularly when using them around civilian populations.  Biden held up a shipment of 2,000 bombs to Israel after reports of potential war crimes by Israel including targeting civilian populations.

Believing that they finally solved the problem of the leaking helium in the fuel line, Boeing announced that it will launch the first manned mission of its reusable spacecraft, the Starliner, on Saturday at 12:25 p.m. from Cape Canaveral, Florida, NBC News reports.

It’s at least the fifth scheduled date for the Starliner mission, which will deliver two NASA astronauts to the International Space Station should it ever happen.  The original mission was scheduled for nine days at the ISS before the two-person crew returns in the Starliner, which is unique among American spacecraft because it will use cushions to return to a spot on land, not splashdown in the ocean as typically is done with manned unpiloted landings.

THE BORDER ISN’T SECURE.

JOE BIDEN DOESN’T KNOW WHERE HE IS.

TRUMP DID NOTHING WRONG.

— House Judiciary GOP (@JudiciaryGOP) May 29, 2024

We’re concerned House Judiciary Chair Jim Jordan might’ve overdosed on some anabolic steroid or testosterone supplement or something because this tweet that he definitely wrote in the midst of a chemically-induced mania seems a little more extra than usual. Maybe James Comer should check on him, but they’re probably not genuinely friends in real life. Safer bet they actually fucking hate each other and just pretend for appearances when they go on Hannity and co-sign bullshit letters.

“I never knew Shannon Bream was so ‘naïve.’ In her interview with my Representative, Alina Habba, Shannon just suggested that Crooked Joe Biden was not involved in my Show Trial. HOW STUPID!”

“Not only is he involved, he is virtually leading it, and all of the other Trials as well – Meaning, his people, because he’s not mentally sharp enough to lead anything! Just take a look at the DOJ/White House Thugs involved, and everything else. Biden is incompetent, and feels that Weaponization is the only way he can win. He’s counting on the Shannon Breams of the World to get him there. Bad day for Shannon!” posted fat former President Trump after seeing Bream factcheck Habba on her stupid bullshit claims about Biden secretly orchestrating the trial against him.

Experts are warning dog owners to make sure their precious loved ones aren’t eating more than a few cicadas a day as the disgusting vermin aren’t a healthy snack, the Peoria Journal-Star reports.

American Kennel Club Chief Veterinary Officer Dr Jerry Klein says the noisy six-legged fuckers’ exoskeletons can cause digestive issues such ase abdominal pain, vomiting, and bloody diarrhea. Klein recommends that owners bring treats with them on walks to distract dogs prone to chomping on the bugs while sniffing around. Training expert Harriet Myers writes owners should “get ahead of the game and teach the ‘leave it’ command,” and that “you’ll need to be a constant companion when they go outside” for backyard time should your dog develop a taste for cicada meat.

The article said nothing about cats because lol who the fuck’s going to stop them from eating bugs.

Brainwormed anti-vaccine conspiracy assclown Robert F Kennedy Jr’s campaign on Wednesday filed an FEC complaint against President Biden and disgraced former President Trump’s campaigns alleging collusion or something to shut him out of the June 27th debate on CNN, Axios reports.

“By demanding our campaign meet different criteria to participate in the debate than Presidents Biden and Trump, CNN’s debate violates FEC law and is a large prohibited corporate contribution to both the Biden and Trump campaigns,” Bobby Jr said in a statement. It’s not clear why he doesn’t understand that being shut out is actually a good thing for him given that it’s a virtual certainty that a very large majority of the low-info dipshits who regularly tell pollsters they support him would probably change their minds if they had to hear his voice for more than a few minutes.