Brainwormed anti-vaccine conspiracy assclown Robert F Kennedy Jr’s campaign on Wednesday filed an FEC complaint against President Biden and disgraced former President Trump’s campaigns alleging collusion or something to shut him out of the June 27th debate on CNN, Axios reports.

“By demanding our campaign meet different criteria to participate in the debate than Presidents Biden and Trump, CNN’s debate violates FEC law and is a large prohibited corporate contribution to both the Biden and Trump campaigns,” Bobby Jr said in a statement. It’s not clear why he doesn’t understand that being shut out is actually a good thing for him given that it’s a virtual certainty that a very large majority of the low-info dipshits who regularly tell pollsters they support him would probably change their minds if they had to hear his voice for more than a few minutes.

“Recently, we have seen viral social posts and poorly sourced reports that McDonald’s has raised prices significantly beyond inflationary rates. This is inaccurate. And for a brand that proudly serves nearly 90 percent of the US population every year, we feel a responsibility to make sure the real facts are available. I can tell you it frustrates and worries me, and many of our franchisees, when I hear about an $18 Big Mac meal being sold – even if it was at one location in the US out of more than 13,700. More worrying is when people believe that this is the rule and not the exception, or when folks start to suggest that the prices of a Big Mac have risen 100 percent since 2019.”

“The average price of a Big Mac in the US was $4.39 in 2019. Despite a global pandemic and historic rises in supply chain costs, wages and other inflationary pressures in the years that followed, the average cost is now $5.29. That’s an increase of 21 percent (not 100 percent). Inflationary pressures have affected all sectors of the economy, including ours. Our franchisees (who own and operate more than 95 percent of all restaurants in the US) set menu prices for their restaurants, which account for the increased costs of running their businesses,” says Joe Erlinger, President of McDonald’s USA division, in a statement clearly meant to interfere in the 2024 election by lying about the price of a Big Mac and not holding Joe Biden directly responsible for it.

Erlinger should be placed under immediate investigation by patriotic FBI agents and prosecutors who disagree and believe that Big Macs cost even more than 100 percent more than they did when President Trump was in office, before the wealthy non-Christian globalists who control the media rigged the 2020 election with negative coverage and suppressing the Hunter Biden laptop story.

Ughhhh. We all know that, outside some attributes you might say approximate “street smarts” and maybe “political instincts,” Donald Trump is an ignorant dumbass. This still manages to be kind of shocking though, that he would fall for this stupid bullshit though and think Mike Tyson is seriously wearing a shirt with that slogan as a message of support for him. Even if maybe the blurry-grainy quality actually helps this pic look slightly more realistic than they usually do.

Far right Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito on Wednesday continued to blame his wife for both pro-insurrection flag incidents at his homes and told Senate Dems Dick Durbin and Sheldon Whitehouse pretty much to go fuck themselves in response to their calls to recuse himself from deciding any cases related to fat former President Trump and/or the January 6th, 2021 Capitol riot.

“As I said in reference to the other flag event, my wife is an independently ‘minded private citizen. She makes her own decisions, andI honor her right to do so. Our vacation home was purchased with money she inherited from her parents and is titled in her name. It is a place, away from Washington, where she should be able to relax. A reasonable person who is not motivated by political or ideological considerations or a desire to affect the outcome of Supreme Court cases would conclude that this event does not meet the applicable standard for recusal. I am therefore duty-bound to reject your recusal request,” Alito wrote in the letter that of course did not say anything like “Hey, I’ll be happy to meet with you guys and try to smooth things over. What works for you next week?”

Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu this week told a former Trump Admin shitbag-turned-radio host that he’s “surprised and disappointed” that President Biden is backing a GOP bill to sanction International Criminal Court officials over a potential arrest warrant for “Bibi,” Politico reports.

“The United States said that they would, in fact, back the sanctions bill,” Netanyahu says in the interview with former Trump State Department spokeswoman Morgan Ortagus. “I thought that was still the American position because there was bipartisan consensus just a few days ago. Now you say there’s a question mark and frankly I’m surprised and disappointed.” It’s becoming increasingly obvious that Netanyahu is simply prolonging the massacre of Gaza civilians to maximize strife and division between pro-and-anti-Israel liberals in the US to get Trump reelected, so fuck him.

Luling, Texas, already blessed as the home of the massive pagan temples of convenience known as Buc-ee’s, will soon become even more important to its rodent cartoon character-branded empire as the world’s largest location – a 75,000 sq ft behemoth will open on June 10th, KXAN reports.

“We are thrilled to open the doors to the world’s largest Buc-ee’s travel center right here in the Great State of Texas. It’s particularly exciting, considering this is the Buc-ee’s that started it all, so we are really looking forward to celebrating with the incredible people of Luling,” said Buc-ee’s co-founder Stan Beard in a statement proclaiming the New First Temple’s rise from the vast barrens.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Buc-ee R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn,” Beard may have said in an earlier draft.

Trump doubts court victory, claiming 'Mother Theresa could not beat these charges'#Trump #MotherTheresa #Victory #Lose #Court #HushMoney #Trial #Left #Democrat #Republicans #US #Politics #News #Viralvideo #ViralVideos #Explore #Explorepage pic.twitter.com/zsyK80ZQVV

— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) May 29, 2024

Former DC Metro cop Mike Fanone, who was severely injured fighting insurrectionists on January 6th, 2021 and has since become an outspoken pro-democracy activist, tells NBC News his mother’s home was swatted after Fanone spoke at a press conference with other Capitol cops and actor Robert De Niro outside fat former President Trump’s porn cover-up trial in Manhattan on Tuesday.

“How dangerous is it to send law enforcement to an address in which you essentially are describing an active shooter, in which the only person present is a 78-year-old fucking woman,” Fanone told NBC. “This is the reality of going up against or challenging Donald Trump… These swatting calls are incredibly fucking dangerous, especially when the target is somebody like my mom.”

At long last on Wednesday a jury gets a criminal case against our disgraced 45th president and will decide whether to either ding his support slightly in the 2024 election or absolutely supercharge it with a bullshit acquittal. We all know he did it and is guilty, but it’s on 12 New Yorkers to do the same and put the fat fuck at the mercy of Judge Juan Merchan for sentencing.

It is one hot samosa in Delhi, India on Wednesday as temps have already hit a record afternoon high of 126° F and it isn’t even June yet! Reach for a cold one, Delhiites, this city’s baking!

“Texans, we can no longer ignore the betrayal we witnessed in this election. Dade Phelan, in a desperate attempt to secure his political future, orchestrated a strategy that relied on Democrats voting for him in the Republican runoff. He knew he couldn’t win on his own merit, so he sought to bolster his chances by courting Democrat support in his district. The Covey campaign has identified at least 1,442 Democrats who voted early in Jefferson County, making up 20 percent of Jefferson County’s early vote numbers. Without Democrats, Dade never would have won.”

“Phelan has not only failed Texans across the state but has blatantly stolen an election from the hard-working people of his district. This treachery is a slap in the face to every true Republican who believes in fair and honest elections. We cannot stand idly by. We must close our primaries. Tonight, weak and liberal Republican incumbents lost across the State of Texas, but Democrats swooped in and saved Dade Phelan. This kind of underhanded manipulation cannot be tolerated.”

“The Republican Party of Texas must take immediate action to secure our Republican Primaries. My message to Austin is clear: to those considering supporting Dade Phelan as Speaker in 2025, ask your 15 colleagues who lost re-election how they feel about their decision now. You will not return if you vote for Dade Phelan again,” writes Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton in a memo to his fans after Tuesday’s defeat for the challenger he backed against Speaker Dade Phelan.

Can’t say it isn’t on-brand for Paxton to lose his shit over an election his guy lost – even when his guy actually conceded this time – and accuse Democrats of cheating and vowing merciless revenge and to change the rules and all other sorts of fascist bullshit. This twat needs to go down in flames.

A memo to donors obtained by the Wall Street Journal from the Dems’ “House Majority PAC” touts a planned $100 million abortion rights push to target districts in states that aren’t competitive in the Senate or Electoral College such as Virginia, New York, California, and Oregon to try to pick off potentially vulnerable Republicans – crucial to any path Ds have to retake the chamber.

Elections egghead Nathan Gonzales tells the Journal it’s a good idea. “Democrats can’t ignore voters’ concerns about the economy and safety and immigration, but I don’t think there’s been a race in the last three years where Democrats regretted highlighting the abortion issue,” said Gonzales.

A person who the Daily Beast describes only as a “celebrity athlete” who played at the now-infamous 2006 American Century Championship in Stateline, Nevada, tells the site that then-reality game show host boasted to him that he had just had sex with the “porn star” who was present and encouraged the other guys to try to eff her too. “It was clear to me and everyone who heard him that he was talking about Stormy,” the athlete said, adding Trump was “crass,” “gross,” and “stupid.”

“He’d say all these things like, ‘You’ve gotta bang a porn star, it’s incredible,’ and, ‘It added 20 yards to my drive today,’” said the athlete, who cited fear of harassment or retaliation as the reason in requiring anonymity. He also says he received anonymous phone calls asking about what if anything he remembers from that weekend in the run-up to the 2016 election, but was never approached by state or federal prosecutors. The athlete also says he never shared this story much privately.

Now if you’re thinking “celebrity athlete” might be easy to isolate just by taking a look at the tournament’s roster… well, take a look at the tournament’s roster. Charles Barkley, John Elway, Ray Allen, LaDainian Tomlinson, Joe Sakic, Ben Roethlisberger, Gene Upshaw, Bret Saberhagen, Drew Brees… That’s not even close to a comprehensive list of participants who could fit the bill.

That said, we’re just going to assume it was Aaron Rodgers. We like Aaron Rodgers for this role of secret anti-Trump informant. Kidding aside with that, who else do we know of who would actually fear any retaliation? QAaron’s fanbase and Trump’s have a lot of overlap and he almost certainly has an eye on a future in right wing media (and maybe politics too), because the mainstream sports media sure as shit isn’t going to hire him. It makes sense that he would rat on Trump anonymously.

So good! pic.twitter.com/PaI5hukqB8

— Jason Miller (@JasonMillerinDC) May 29, 2024

We’re still struggling to see what the actual game is here with the MAGA freakout over De Niro showing up as a Biden campaign surrogate – along with the January 6th cops – outside the courthouse in Manhattan on Tuesday. Of course the base level “out-of-touch Hollywood elitist” song and dance was always a given from both sides. Plenty of libs reacted accordingly with an “Ughhh, really?” but outside of the most neurotic pants-pissers nobody on the left cared enough to declare it to be some kind of a major strategic political blunder, if it was even a “blunder” at all.

In fact it’s this disproportionate freakout by Republicans and their media mind-slaves that makes it feel like De Niro actually did in fact rattle their cages and quite hard. If they were triggered enough to call an American film icon “washed-up” and put it on the cover of one of their cheapest, shittiest propaganda circulars the next day – amid everything else going on – then well maybe the press conference actually did have its intended effect. Anything that could break through to make the MAGA Reich seem as just downright fucking weird, irrational, and obsessive to lower-info voters as it we know it to be is actually a plus. Please by all means go to war with Robert De Niro, GOP. Tone those outrage muscles for the coming epic battle (God willing) against Taylor Swift.

Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s intra-party revenge tour for the failed 2023 impeachment effort against him itself failed to score its most highly-sought scalp on Tuesday. The Texas Tribune reports that MAGA primary challenger candidate Dave Covey conceded defeat to incumbent state House Speaker Dade Phelan, with Covey coming up short by just 366 votes in an extremely fucking heated HD 21 runoff. Per the Tribune, it’s extremely rare for a Texas legislative candidate to trail in a March primary and then prevail in a runoff, but Phelan did just that after an unheard of $3.8 million in spending by his campaign. That figure was more than double Covey’s $1.6 million, combining for what was likely the most expensive state legislative primary in Texas history.

Safe as his seat may be, Phelan’s gavel could be a different story and where he stands after Paxton’s challengers knocked off 15 out 85 state House Republicans – Pax had targeted 35 of them, so his record actually isn’t that great. The Tribune notes however that the likeliest reason no members have come out in support yet was that they weren’t sure Phelan would win the runoff.

Tuesday’s other nationally-watched Texas runoff also saw the “RINOs” prevail over MAGA as “moderate” asshole Congressman Tony Gonzales narrowly defeated fucking demented gun freak Brandon “the AK Guy” Herrera, by just 407 votes at 98 percent reporting. Herrera, a 28 year-old YouTuber who had attracted the support of large-foreheaded statutory rapist Matt Gaetz and several other House Freedom Caucasians, mounted the campaign after Gonzales had been censured in 2022 over his support for the mildest of gun control bills – the district, Texas’s 23rd, includes Uvalde, site of the 2022 Robb Elementary School massacre. Herrera might have fucked himself out of a Trump endorsement and thus the nomination for past comments such as doubting the Orange Allah could win in 2024 and joking about Barron. What the actual joke was is unclear.

“I never knew how small, both mentally and physically, Wacko Former Actor Robert De Niro was. Today, De Niro, who suffers from an incurable case of TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, commonly known in the medical community as TDS, was met, outside the Courthouse, with a force far greater than the Radical Left – MAGA. Robert, whose movies, artistry, and brand have gone WAY DOWN IN VALUE since he entered the political arena at the request of Crooked Joe Biden, looked so pathetic and sad out there. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio!!!” posted fat former President Trump at 12:39 AM Wednesday, still upset and butthurt over De Niro’s appearance outside Trump’s trial Tuesday, something the MAGA media really struggled with, almost certainly disproportionately to any actual political impact it might have had. Also what the fuck is with the Joe DiMaggio line?

Still, based on the capitalization and spelling, Trump appeared less upset by De Niro than what happened inside the courtroom during the very long closing by the prosecution, writing “CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT I, AS A DEFENDANT, AM NOT ALLOWED TO REBUT OR CORRECT THE MANY LIES TOLD DURUNG THE 5 HOUR FILIBUSTER JUST PUT ON BY THE SOROS BACKED DA’s OFFICE IN THE MANHATTAN COURT. WHAT A DISGRACEFUL PERFORMANCE OF MISREPRESENTATION IT WAS,” again telegraphing his inability to understand the basics of criminal trial procedure.

Another freaking funny post was “THE GREATEST CASE I’VE EVER SEEN FOR RELIANCE ON COUNSEL, AND JUDGE MERCHAN WILL NOT, FOR WHATEVER REASON, LET ME USE THAT AS A DEFENSE IN THIS RIGGED TRIAL. ANOTHER TERM, ADVICE OF COUNSEL DEFENSE!” to which Politico legal reporter Josh Gerstein writes “Trump had the opportunity to raise this defense and passed it up, likely because of the disclosures and waivers that come along with it. His lawyers tried to raise it again last week in modified form after evidence was in and judge said no.”

Major League Baseball, the monopoly that runs professional baseball throughout the US, announced that as of Wednesday, it will include statistics from the segregationist Negro Leagues in its official records, NBC News reports.  Various professional leagues for only Black players, excluded from MLB teams, ran from the 1880s to 1951.

MLB previously classified six Negro Leagues that operated from 1920 to 1948 as “major league” and incorporated their statistics into the record books.  For the last three years, MLB statisticians have been compiling statistics that will officially be part of the league’s canon, which will cause some tears for Nick Fuentes and other white nationalists.  For example, Negro League great Josh Gibson now owns the record for the highest single-season batting average, and his career Negro Leagues batting average, slugging percentage and OPS will rank him above Babe Ruth and noted racist Ty Cobb.

Former senior FBI agent Peter Strzok and Bureau lawyer Lisa Page have reportedly reached an agreement with the Justice Department over their lawsuit regarding the Department leaking personal text messages between the two during the Trump administration, the Washington Post reports. Details of the settlement were not released.

The lawsuits, originally filed in 2019, alleges the Trump Administration ordered the release of the text messages which showed the pair were having an affair, in an attempt to undermine the FBI investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election.  The messages also show they both disliked Trump, a fact that furthered Trump desire to appear as a target of the Deep State.

After icon Robert DeNiro made an impassioned plea for democracy outside the courthouse in Manhattan–because that’s where the media were–Newsmax flipped through its Rolodex and found Robert Schneider, the one-time “Saturday Night Live” cast member who would earn the Most Fucked Up Living Alum title but for Victoria Jackson.

Best known for Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo and The Hot Chick, Schneider pulled out the current right wingnut talking point that “thankfully, we are not a democracy; we are a democratic republic,” which somehow gives them permission to ignore the outcome of elections.

To appease states that have lengthy lead times for Parties to submit their Presidential nominee, the Democratic National Committee will hold a virtual roll call of state delegates before the August convention to formally nominate Joe Biden for a second term, Politico reports.

Alabama and Ohio have state deadlines for submissions before the Democratic convention, slated for August 19th through 22nd in Chicago.  While Alabama’s Republican legislature was able to pass an extension, Ohio’s MAGA legislators aren’t as helpful, with GOP Governor Mike DeWine lamenting the childishness.

“Joe Biden will be on the ballot in Ohio and all 50 states, and Ohio Republicans agree. But when the time has come for action, they have failed to act every time, so Democrats will land this plane on our own,” DNC chair Jaime Harrison said in a statement. “Through a virtual roll call, we will ensure that Republicans can’t chip away at our democracy through incompetence or partisan tricks and that Ohioans can exercise their right to vote for the presidential candidate of their choice.”