“Despite the Republican National Committee’s good faith efforts over the last four weeks to work with your United States Secret Service (‘USSS’) subordinates to resolve the critical flaw with the Security Perimeter in the USSS’s Operational Security Plan, which was the subject of my April 26 letter, the RNC’s grave concerns about the unacceptable risk to public safety remain unaddressed.”

“Rather than dissipating, the overall security climate has worsened significantly over the past month of the USSS’s inaction, as evidenced by the public statements of the anticipated demonstrators, as detailed below. Your failure to act now to prevent these unnecessary and certain risks will imperil tens of thousands of Convention attendees, inexcusably forcing them into close proximity to the currently planned First Amendment Zone. Inevitably, this Plan will heighten – rather than obviate or diffuse – tensions and confrontation, creating an increased and untenable risk of violence.”

“This rapidly deteriorating security environment and the severe consequences to the public underscore the exigency of your personal leadership and action to solve this problem, as the RNC requested in my April 26 letter” and blah blah blah writes RNC General Counsel Todd Steggerda to US Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle, complaining like a total Karen about their big cult fest’s attendees potentially being exposed to too much free speech from the liberal protestors and locals who would rather the GOP hold their venereal disease superspreader event somewhere else.

MAGA Anchorage, Alaska Mayor Dave Bronson, famous for his antisemitic anti-vaccine dipshittery and failed attempt to secretly shut off the fluoridation of the city’s water supply, conceded to challenger and now Mayor-elect Suzanna LaFrance Thursday after it became clear that LaFrance’s lead eclipsed the few thousand remaining uncounted votes in Tuesday’s runoff, KTUU reports.

At least Bronson can say he will have made it to the end of his term. Things looked a bit dicey in 2022 when the city council created an entirely new grounds for and procedural steps to remove a mayor from office after all the dumb shit he did. Just not being reelected was kind of a victory itself.

Republicans on the Lousiana state legislature on Thursday gave final approval to a bill reclassifying abortion drugs mifepristone and misoprostol as controlled substances, the AP reports.

Senate Dems on Thursday started sending out letters to oil execs who reportedly attended a dinner at Mar-a-Lago where fat former President Trump demanded $1 billion in campaign contributions in exchange for doing whatever they wanted him to do if elected again, the New York Times reports.

Texas MAGA Congressman Lance Gooden on Thursday was happy to share his insights into the soon-to-be concluded Manhattan pornstar-fucking trial, telling Fox News idiot Maria Bartiromo he doesn’t “think a hung jury is out of the question and boy would it be spectacular.” Intrigued, Bartiromo then asked Gooden to share his thoughts on what, if any, effect being given fully a week off from court from Tuesday until closing arguments next week could have on the jury before they begin deliberating. Gooden then said he “couldn’t begin to speculate on that” before rambling on with the typical rhetorical sucking of his Orange Allah’s balls. Meaning when he said he thinks there’s going to be a hung jury he was actually saying he wants there to be a hung jury.

“The FBI followed standard protocol in this search as we do for all search warrants, which includes a standard policy statement limiting the use of deadly force. No one ordered additional steps to be taken and there was no departure from the norm in this matter. The standard deadly force policy statement included in the operations order for the search of the former president’s residence was also included in the operations order for the search of the sitting president’s residence in Delaware, as is standard practice for all FBI operations orders,” the FBI confirms in a statement to Fox News White House correspondent Jacqui Heinrich, following up on her Wednesday reporting that the “use of deadly force” was also in place for their searches of Biden’s residences as it is for every action.

Tucker Carlson wanted Heinrich fired for fact-checking Trump’s Dominion conspiracy bullshit in the aftermath of the 2020 election, just in case you were curious about her journalistic principles.

Lieutenant-General Vadim Shamarin, deputy head of the Russian army’s General Staff, was for some reason arrested for bribery Thursday rather than thrown out a window or force-fed polonium borscht or on a helicopter that suddenly suffered mechanical problems, Reuters reports.

The crimes alleged against Shamarin are a pretty standard pay-for-play scheme with a radio equipment vendor that was worth about 36 million roubles ($400,000 American). Sham’s the fourth high-level Russian military brass to be cuffed over the last month following the arrests for Lieutenant-General Yuri Kuznetsov, head of personnel at the defence ministry, and Major-General Ivan Popov, former commander of the 58th army, and Deputy Defence Minister Timur Ivanov – all of them having found out the hard way that bribery is illegal if Vladimir Putin doesn’t like you.

The asshole who now claims his deepfaked Biden robocall sent out to as many as 25,000 New Hampshire voters in the days before the February primary was just to warn about the dangers of artificial intelligence in political disinformation (lol), has been indicted WMUR reports.

Consultant Steve Kramer, who worked for Dem primary challenge dead-ender Dean Phillips’s campaign but disavows that the soon-to-be-ex-Minnesota Congressman had anything to do with the call mimicking Biden’s voice saying “Voting this Tuesday only enables the Republicans in their quest to elect Donald Trump again,” faces ten counts including bribing, intimidation and suppression and impersonation of candidates in Rockingham County, New Hampshire. Not sure if that’s just one statute or several, but Kramer was also charged in at least two other counties.

Republican Texas Senator John Cornhole on Thursday responded to the New York Times’s reporting that far right Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has flown not one but two pro-insurrection flags outside of his homes in recent years by hinting it was Alito’s wife’s fault again, somehow (think they’re still fine-tuning the excuse for the second one), saying that the justices “have personal lives, they have families. I don’t they’re necessarily responsible for everything their families do or say.”

Actually Cornyn said verbatim “judges on the Supreme Court” not “justices.” Other judges are responsible for everything their families do or say according to other Republicans in Congress, like JD Vance, Elise Stefanik, Mike Johnson, and others who think Manhattan Judge Juan Merchan is responsible (or really irrevocably compromised) for his daughter being a Dem political consultant.

New York State Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli announced Thursday that New York City’s record-breaking $4.9 billion 2023 tax revenue haul was fueled by an influx of tourism, 62.2 million nearly recovered to 2019’s pre-pandemic level at 66.6 million, Bloomberg reports on a city decidedly not overrun with crime and disease and economic disaster because of Trump’s indictment.

“The industry’s full recovery won’t be complete until we see a full return of international and business travelers,” said DiNapoli. “Our city and state leaders need to focus on keeping New York a desirable and safe destination for individuals and families from around the world.”

A California man’s curiosity over a mysterious gift received in the mail last week turned to anger when he opened it to find a live rattlesnake, USA Today reports on the ungrateful bastard.

Someone went through all the trouble to mail 60 year-old Elijah Bowles one of the coolest types of snakes and not only is Bowles refusing to say thanks, he’s calling it “attempted murder.” Bowles says he and a friend went to pick up the package at the Twentynine Palms USPS office before opening it in the car to find the two foot-long snake and some cotton balls Bowles claims were planted there to muffle the sound of hissing and rattling. The package’s return address on the box said Palm Coast, Florida, but the postmark indicated that it was mailed from Hayward, California on May 3rd.

Either way Bowles, didn’t speculate as to who would’ve mailed him a new reptile friend – which the anti-snakeite isn’t keeping and gave to the San Bernardino County Animal Control service.

https://t.co/f8reToCkPR pic.twitter.com/F5aIjoHqE8

— Eric Trump (@EricTrump) May 23, 2024

Hard to see how this doesn’t end with a shit ton of MAGA voters not from the Bronx complaining that their cars got broken into or stolen when they parked on the streets surrounding the venue, leading them to reaffirm their support for Trump as only he can stop that from happening to them again.

Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito still hasn’t figured out how to blame his wife for the second “Stop the Steal”-adjacent flag flown over one of his homes and thus “has not responded to requests for comment about this flag,” CBS News Washington correspondent Scott MacFarlane reports.

THEY’VE TAKEN AWAY HIS RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH! THIS IS A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY! ZAMBIA, SPECIFICALLY! The BBC reports former President Edgar Lungu has said that he was “practically under house arrest”, accusing cops of a plot to detain him “for no reason.” Lungu, who left office in 2021, has indeed been “summoned” by National Police Inspector General Graphael Musamba over recent comments hinting that there could be a change in the government before the next election in 2026. Lungu’s pension was revoked last October after he came out of retirement and announced a return to politics – that may or may not have been spurred by former First Lady Esther being accused of corruption involving petty scams like theft of motor vehicles and title deeds.

“I have not committed any crime that would warrant the government, through the police, to start scheming against me in this manner,” Lungu said, adding that cops tried to “ambush me at night, abduct, embarrass, and forcefully detain me like a hardcore criminal.” Sounds kind of familiar.

An estimate of the situation surrounding House Speaker Mike Johnson’s stupid push to ban non-citizens from voting in federal elections by Politico Playbook sees two sides to the story: One is that, on paper, any policy to prohibit it is popular across the spectrum, whether or not polling respondents understand that it is in fact already illegal for non-citizens to vote in federal elections and the number of cases of it over the past few decades is vanishingly small. So they may be able to squeeze some of the front-line Dems into voting yes. It’s also a smart play to pair the vote with one on a bill restricting DC’s law allowing non-citizens to vote in local elections, purposely conflating the two completely separate issues. Cynical too, but take that for granted with the GOP.

On the other hand, it kind of flies in the face of the GOP’s overall article of faith that the federal government and Congress have no role in how states are supposed to run elections. Which is what “moderate” Republican Nebraska Congressman Don Bacon told Playbook that “generally, elections are state-by-state decisions” and he’ll “have to wrestle with that one” (probably bullshit).

“We should also note here that even some Republicans aren’t so sure about Johnson’s play call on the nationwide voting bill. Some feel the speaker jumped the gun to try to curry favor with Trump to save his gavel without ensuring they have the votes to pass it,” Playbook writes, hinting that the “principle” of state administration over elections is actually a thing. What obviously isn’t however is any pretense of sincerity that the bill will actually be taken up by the Dem majority Senate and signed, or that even the messaging behind it even makes sense. It’s simply Johnson trying to assuage fat former President Trump’s delusional horseshit about illegal aliens voting.

And behold, Dagon had fallen on his face to the ground.https://t.co/1tS4sP226B

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) May 23, 2024

“Evan Gershkovich, the Reporter from The Wall Street Journal, who is being held by Russia, will be released almost immediately after the Election, but definitely before I assume Office. He will be HOME, SAFE, AND WITH HIS FAMILY. Vladimir Putin, President of Russia, will do that for me, but not for anyone else, and WE WILL BE PAYING NOTHING,” writes disgraced former President Trump on Truth Social, possibly giving away more than he intended about a secret hostage release deal with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin similar to the one not-yet President Ronald Reagan reportedly pulled off with the Iranians to get the US Embassy hostages released before the 1980 election. Meaning Gershkovich is going to stay in a Russian jail longer than he has to if it helps Trump return to power.

The fat fuck also posted that the “Corruption of our Justice System has to be put to an end, and those responsible, including Crooked Joe Biden and those controlling him, have to be held to account,” again contradicting his position in court on “presidential immunity.” Donald also appeared to concede that he wasn’t actually in danger when the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago (which of course is the actual reality of it), but instead tried to hint that the Secret Service detail present could’ve been in a gunfight with agents. Also in the “Truth”-ing binge the Orange Slob posted “the Democrats have pushed Misinformation, AND FAILED. It’s the only thing they’re good at – EVERYTHING ELSE THEY’RE INVOLVED IN IS DESTROYING AMERICA!” with a clip of some Newsmax asshole talking about the “Unified Reich” video. Not sure how badly they “FAILED” when Trump took down the video after his campaign tried to blame it on an intern. Think that’s actually sort of a win for the Dems.

A panel of four people released Apple’s definitive list of the best albums of all time, with The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill taking the ultimate spot, besting Beyonce’s Lemonade, Stevie Wonder’s Songs in the Key of Life, and The Beatles’ Abbey Road, which all made the Top 10.  Michael Jackson’s Thriller took the runner-up spot.

Lauryn Hill, who got a mention in a RtF last month, wrote and recorded tracks detailing themes in her life at the time such as her pregnancy, being a new mother, and the difficulties with her bandmates in the Fugees.  Using a mix of musical styles, the album was an immediate critical success.

The first shipments of aid unloaded at a US-built pier in Gaza reached civilians on Wednesday, United Nations officials reported, after some high-energy biscuits that were unloaded Friday were delivered to local camps, the Associated Press reports.

A total of 41 truckloads have been unloaded so far in the first shipment on the MV Sagamore, which has returned to Cyprus to reload.  The goal is to unload 150 truckloads of aid daily at the pier, which will account for a small but significant portion of the 600 truckloads humanitarian officials say is needed in Gaza.

NASA announced the first launch of a manned mission aboard a Boeing Starliner will be delayed again thanks to a persistent helium leak technicians have not been able to stop, the Washington Post reports, setting the next potential date for June 1st at 12:25 p.m. ET.

It’s the fifth delay for the mission which is supposed to deliver NASA astronauts Sunita Williams and Barry “Butch” Wilmore to the International Space Station.  Williams and Wilmore also should be worried because Boeing is going through another safety crisis:  300 of the company’s 777-series aircraft are under review after the FAA noted an electrical issue could spark static electricity in the fuel tanks, causing a fatal boom, per the Daily Mail.