After gaining his highest-profile endorsement from a celebrity murderer to date, adjudicated rapist Donald Trump must be celebrating getting the backing of his old friend, the 92-year-old former boxing promoter Don King, who spent nearly three years in prison after stomping one of his employees to death for an apparently very serious violation of HR rules.

Barron Trump will join his brothers from another mother as an at-large delegate from Florida to the Republican National Convention when his alleged father will be nominated to be the Party nominee for President of the United States, ABC News reports.  His two older brothers Eric and Don Jr., children of his father’s first foreign wife and current golf course fertilizer Ivana, will join him in the delegation, with Eric serving as chair.

Along with his sons, Junior’s lap-dancing girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle will scream on the delegation’s platform committee, presumably because she thought it had to do with stages.  Barron will also be joined on the delegation by his sister from yet another mother, Tiffany, and such Trump Florida favorites as Super PAC CEO Sergio Gor and former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi.

With the vibe of an MLM sales meeting with Heaven’s Gate members wearing gold sneakers, Donald Trump Merchandising Industries Inc. fulfilled a pledge it made with the so-called “Mugshot NFTs,” the electronic vapor depicting Trump in various superhero poses. Judging from the “red carpet” photos done in front of a gen-u-wine AI-generated “Thor” Trump in front of the site of his cult’s January 6th attack as 1960s retro-style jets fly overhead printed on a trade show display (it’s a bit much), the crowd is going to love it.  No, really, they will.  They will soak in every single fucking second of it.

According to the Art Newspaper, which has a much better take on it than the original reporting from Axios, suckers who bought at least 47 separate editions of Trump’s various NFT–spending $99 per item at MSRP–were invited to the dinner, with the special few who have bought 100–at a cost of $99,000–will get to mingle with the Grapefruit Groper at a cocktail party where they’ll be asked to spend more on Trump’s Authentic Gnarled T-bone® or a genuine Kimberly Guilfoyle lap dance.  Hey, don’t judge:  it takes money to keep up the grift.

“Shutting down the Keystone Pipeline XL pipeline.  Inflation continues to go up because of it.  Our gas prices we know are high, gives us [phone ringing in background] on the world stage just a really weak position,” the Garfunkel to Autotune’s Simon and co-chair of the RNC Lara Trump says.  “You probably wouldn’t have seen the war with Russia in Ukraine without that decision.  You wouldn’t see the war in Israel with Hamas without that decision and really dumb stuff coming out of the Biden Administration.”

First, Lar, the Keystone Pipeline is operating.  It’s transporting about 500,000 barrels of oil per day.  The XL part wasn’t constructed, so there was nothing to “shut down.”  Second, the US is producing around 13.2 million barrels of oil daily–the maximum output.  So the red thread linking Keystone XL to Hamas’s attack–already thread-thin–is some “really dumb stuff.”

The Department of Justice is reportedly responding to House Ethics Committee requests regarding Florida Republican Congressman and real-life Beavis Matt Gaetz’s alleged transaction with a teenage sex worker, the Daily Beast reports.  While the DOJ’s case into Gaetz’s underage human trafficking has reportedly closed with the decision not to prosecute, the Ethics Committee has renewed its investigation into its colleague.  And typically, when the DOJ closes down an investigation, it handles Congressional information requests expeditiously, so its decision to slow-walk these records makes one wonder if they’re still being used in other investigations.

A 1,000-foot cruise ship pulled into the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal with the corpse of a 44-foot endangered sei whale on its bow, CBS News reports.  The carcass was removed and towed to a beach in New Jersey just like other waste from New York, and authorities will perform a necropsy to determine if the marine mammal was killed by the ship strike or if it was dead when impacted by the ship.

The unexpected passenger on the MSC Meraviglia did not cause significant damage to the ship nor did it delay the cruise schedule much:  the Meraviglia arrived at a port in New Brunswick on Wednesday.

I feel confident of the result even with a six-worm handicap.

— Robert F. Kennedy Jr (@RobertKennedyJr) May 8, 2024

After acknowledging that US-supplied weapons have been used to kill civilians in Gaza, President Joe Biden said in a CNN to be aired Wednesday night that he would cut off the supply of American-made offensive weapons to Israel if Israel invades Rafah, the Washington Post reports.

“Civilians have been killed in Gaza as a consequence of those bombs and other ways in which they go after population centers,” Biden said in the interview.  “I made it clear that if they go into Rafah–they haven’t gone in Rafah yet–if they go into Rafah, I’m not supplying the weapons that have been used historically to deal with Rafah, to deal with the cities–that deal with that problem.”

“I absolutely love Marjorie Taylor Greene. She’s got Spirit, she’s got Fight, and I believe she’ll be around, and on our side, for a long time to come. However, right now, Republicans have to be fighting the Radical Left Democrats, and all the Damage they have done to our Country. With a Majority of One, shortly growing to three or four, we’re not in a position of voting on a Motion to Vacate [blah blah blah a bunch of bullshit] It is my request that Republicans vote for ‘THE MOTION TO TABLE.’ We WILL WIN BIG – AND IT WILL BE SOON!” posted fat former President Trump at 5:59 PM EDT on Wednesday, about 15 minutes after the vote to table had already passed.

Meaning, per usual, he already knew (or is that stupid) that the motion had been killed and belatedly acted publicly like the vast majority of the House Republican caucus had been obeying his orders.

“Today, Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel announced charges against former Adams Township Clerk Stephanie Scott, 52, and her private attorney Stefanie Lynn Junttila, 42, also known as Stefanie Lambert, for allegedly permitting an unauthorized computer examiner access to voter data, including non-public voter information, concerning the 2020 General Election.”

“The Department contends that Scott intentionally disregarded numerous instructions from the Director of Elections, acting on behalf of the Secretary of State, to present the Adams Township voting tabulator to an authorized vendor for maintenance and testing and withheld the tabulator until it was seized by Michigan State Police pursuant to a search warrant. The Department also alleges Lambert illicitly transmitted data from the Adams Township Electronic Poll Book concerning the 2020 General Election under the direction of Scott,” says a statement from the Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel’s office about more trouble for Lambert, who was indicted last summer along with two other “Stop the Steal” shitbags for possessing a stolen Dominion tabulator.

The US House of Representatives on Wednesday quickly voted to table white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s motion to vacate Speaker Mike Johnson. The final count was 359 to table with only 11 Republicans and 32 Dems a no, plus another 7 Dems present.

White nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene on Wednesday formally triggered the motion to vacate process against Jesus dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson as revenge for his support for military aid to Ukraine and other sundry bullshit far-right grievances.

This was simply not fair to Wisconsin MAGA Congressman Glenn Grothman. It was like an amateur flag football team against the Chiefs, a puppy against Kristi Noem, a fudge sundae against Sarah Huckabee, Kristi Noem against a Fox News host. Just utter savagery on Jamie Raskin’s part.

This one NBC News story is pretty fucked up, sad, and another example of how goddamned stupid some domestic murderers can be. Minnesota man Dr Connor Bowman, 31, faces an absolute shit ton of circumstantial evidence indicating that he was responsible for August 20, 2023 poisoning death of his wife Betty, 32: Connor worked for a “poison control center for an extended period of time prior to his residency” according to a court document, had started contacting woman on dating app Bumble on August 29, had “brought up the large life insurance payout he received, using it to pay off student loan debt” in a conversation on the app, lied to another woman via the app about how long it had been since his wife had died, and had asked a female friend and some others “out for drinks two days after Betty’s death and appeared to be happy or at least indifferent to” losing his wife.

However probably what sticks out the most is this: Betty was hospitalized with colchicine toxicity on August 16 and passed away August 20th. On August 18th Connor googled whether “widow” was a “gender neutral” term. So on top of all this shit pointing at his consciousness of guilt – again it’s circumstantial and thus he’s only facing a second degree homicide charge – he had to go and do the “woke” thing when preemptively putting himself out on the dating market again. What a dick.

Disgraced former President Trump’s lawyers on Wednesday further murdered irony by urging a New York State Appeals court to expedite their challenge to the gag order imposed by Judge Juan Merchan in the criminal trial over the fat fuck’s 2016 election interference scam, ABC News reports.

🚨 #BREAKING: @Jim_Jordan and @RepJamesComer refer MICHAEL COHEN to DOJ for prosecution.

Cohen lied SIX times to Congress and is Alvin Bragg’s star witness in President Trump’s NYC trial. pic.twitter.com/axJMyXBFhX

— House Judiciary GOP (@JudiciaryGOP) May 8, 2024

Jordan and Comer actually look even more impotent when you stop to realize this is not just them trying to gin up some Fox News headlines and muddy the water politically but that it’s actually their brilliant plan to stop Cohen from testifying to a New York State court within the next week.

A new Quinnipiac University survey of Wisconsin voters finds President Joe Biden leading fat former President Trump 50 to 44 percent in the Cheesehead State, a lead that drops to Biden 40 – Trump 39 when Russian assets Robert F Kennedy Jr, Jill Stein, and Cornel West are added to the mix. Still no word yet on who the Libertarian candidate is supposed to be or why the hell these polls don’t just include “Generic Libertarian” as choice since it doesn’t ever really matter who they pick to run.

Incumbent Dem Senator Tammy Baldwin leads dipshit MAGA challenger Eric Hovde, who doesn’t know the Pledge of Allegiance and reportedly actually lives in California, by 54 to 42 percent.

A unknown number of juveniles recently pleaded guilty to murdering 10 individuals while driving around on an off-road vehicle at night last fall in a multi-night shooting spree that left Southwestern Pennsylvania horrified. WPXI reports the juveniles face $5,000 fines, 50 hours of community service and will have their hunting licenses revoked for multiple years for illegally killing so many deer.

Dog-killing South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem on Tuesday canceled her appearance on rodent-like “comedy” host Greg Gutfeld’s nightly Fox News show, citing a snowstorm in her home state even though she was already in NYC for an earlier hit on Stuart Varney’s show, the Daily Beast reports.

Then on Wednesday CNN’s Inside Politics host Dana Bash announced that Noem had called the previous night to cancel her planned appearance on the afternoon show. Bash specifically said the governor’s team had reached out weeks ago to book her appearance, which answers our burning question of whether all these disastrous hits had been long-planned to promote her violent, lie-filled memoir or had been last-minute damage control for her violent, lie-filled memoir. Now we know it was the former but quickly devolved into the latter. Rarely are such mysteries resolved so fast.

President Joe Biden is wheels down in Racine, Wisconsin to promote the construction of Microsoft’s massive new AI data center on the site of fat former President Trump’s Foxconn failure.