With the glow of owning the cult leader’s new stock wearing off and institutional investors nowhere to be found, Donald Trump took a hit of more than $1 billion in “paper value” after the Trump Media and Technology Group stock fell more than 21% in Monday trading.

The owner of 78.5 million shares, the presumptive GOP presidential nominee say his eponymous company drop more than thirteen points on Monday, closing at $48.66, a loss of $1.044 billion.  Overall, the NASDAQ Composite closed up 0.11%, at 16,396.83 on Monday. Of course, Trump’s wealth with this stock is vapor:  the true value of his shares is what someone is willing to pay Trump for them, and when he has his fire sale to raise cash, the value will plummet.

Multiplying the headache for Florida Republicans on the November ballot:  the state Supreme Court ruled that a measure enshrining abortion rights may appear on the November ballot, while it also said that the state’s new 6-week abortion rule can go into effect, NBC News reports.  With abortion and marijuana on the ballot, Florida has two key issues in referenda that have traditionally brought younger, more liberal voters out for elections.  It’s a shame Democrats don’t yet have a strong candidate to challenge Rick Scott for the Senate; these are issues that could flip a seat.

In a slap against Republican Governor Ron DeSantis and a potential boost for Democrats across the state, the Florida Supreme Court ruled that a constitutional amendment referendum that would legalize the recreational use of marijuana can appear on the November ballot, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune reports.

Besides the potentiality of mellowing out some really fucked-up people in Florida, the cannabis question on the ballot will drive up participation in the election from young and more liberal voters, if demographic data from past statewide cannabis referenda hold true.  This will help Democratic candidates up and down the ballot.

A word of caution, however:  even if the ballot measure gets the majority of votes, the retired devotees of Jimmy Buffett shouldn’t get their hopes up that DeSantis would enact such a law.  While Florida voters voted overwhelmingly to re-enfranchise felons who finished their sentences, DeSantis has yet to fully enact the law.

Inspired by the new triple-threat co-chair of the RNC Lara Trump (below-average pop singer, surgically-enhanced all-natural fitness guru, and nepotistically-appointed Party leader), Ohio Republican Congressman and guy a little too eager to coach Little League baseball Jim Jordan wants to take on a third role besides embarrassing House committee chairman and ineffective legislative representative:  professional wrestling “heel.”

Photos and interview notes of the spandex-wearing former Ohio State sexual abuse misprisioner during his audition for Mexican wrestling federation Nación Lucha Libre were leaked on Monday to Revista de Rumores de Lucha Libre, who reported Jordan signed a special contrato de un dia allowing the league to pick up Jordan’s option at its sole discretion.  As of 3:52 p.m. ET, Nación Lucha Libre has declined to execute the contract.

The character Jordan proposed, according to the notes taken by an NLL official, is named El Babosa, who would a red traditional mask with a blue X decorated with white stars on it, and doesn’t wrestle himself.  Instead, El Babosa jumps in the rings after each match to spend an insufferable amount of time rapidly explaining why the loser of the last match was actually victorious as he collects donations.  Jordan’s office did not return a request for comment.

Fox 5 Atlanta reports that a driver has been arrested after he tried to ram his SUV through the security fence at the FBI headquarters in Atlanta at around noon Monday.  No FBI agents or employees were injured in the incident, during which the driver reported tried to ram the entry gate multiple times before being stopped by a blockade device designed to incapacitate a speeding car.  CNN reports the car is being searched by the bomb squad before it will be moved.

Leave it to former Trump advisor and current federal inmate #04370-510 Peter Navarro continues to lose as he sits in the prison yard at FCI Miami.  According to the Washington Post, Navarro lost his appeal to the DC Court of Appeals for a contempt of court threat–different from the contempt of Congress convictions he’s currently serving time for–made by a federal judge following Navarro’s failure to turn over documents to the National Archives.

U.S. District Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly had ordered Navarro to turn over documents to the Archive from his time as a presidential economic advisor during Donald Trump’s single term in office, when the economy underperformed while racking up $8 trillion in debt.  Navarro, however, claimed that the documents are personal documents covered under the Presidential Records Act.

After the judges likely had to stop themselves from laughing at the argument–because the PRA (1) doesn’t give privilege to advisors and (2) doesn’t allow the President to claim as personal records the documents created by his staff to help him do his job–they affirmed that Judge Kollar-Kotelly correctly threatened Navarro with contempt for failing to comply with the court order to turn over the docs.

I’d normally make an Aprils fool’s joke today, but honestly what’s more of a joke than real life right now? Our entire country is a punchline right now.

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) April 1, 2024

The Israeli Defense Force on Monday announced they’ve successfully exploded Iranian Revolutionary Guard Commander Mohammad Reza Zahedi in an air stike on Damascus, Syria.

Truth Social parent Trump Media and Technology Group’s stock dropped more than 14 percent on Monday morning after the company reported earning $4 million and losing $58 million in 2023.

A 60 year-old The Villages-area woman is out on $2,000 bail after being arrested on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon last week, the consequence of swinging a machete at her husband out of anger that he was still keeping a machete in the house after she had repeatedly told him to get rid of the dangerous brush-clearing blade, Villages-News.com reports.

It’s the third domestic arrest for Summerfield, Florida resident Nancy Ann Simmons in the last seven years as she was cuffed in 2017 for using scissors to cut up and man’s wallet and again in 2022 for throwing a wine glass at her son for refusing to wash the dishes. This one’s her first felony.

I feel like there is going to be a big baby boom in Trump’s first year back in office. Everyone I know is having a baby. My entire timeline is full of ultrasound pictures.

Donald Trump will Make America Great Again and a place for people to feel secure enough to have families!

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) April 1, 2024

The Trump Media and Technology Group on Monday filed an “8K” which appears to keep the six-month prohibition on Donald being able to sell the stock to raise cash, NYT’s Adam Goldstein reports.

Two states are the sites of intraparty battles to unseat incumbent Republicans in primaries for deep-red districts, more signs that the GOP is tearing itself apart between Party traditionalists and Trump-supporting MAGAts.  Ever the vengeful leader, Donald Trump wants a challenger to incumbent first-term Republican Laurel Lee in Florida’s 15th Congressional District because Lee, previously the Secretary of State of Florida, endorsed boot fetishist Ron DeSantis, who came up short during his humiliating run in the GOP presidential primary, per Politico.

In Virginia, Bob Good has no friend in fellow Republican Congressman, Wisconsin’s Derrick Van Orden, the representative who enjoys berating Congressional pages taking a break on a long night.  Van Orden and some of his House GOP colleagues are endorsing Good’s opponent, John McGuire, because Good is helping GOP causes.  “Bob Good didn’t come here to govern. He came here to be famous,” Van Orden, a Wisconsin Republican, told CNN. “Bob Good’s wearing our jersey, and he’s not on the team,” adding, “If you look at what we have not been able to accomplish in this Congress, it’s predominantly because of Bob Good and his ilk.”

New polling indicates conservative members of the lower chamber could number less than 100 after the next election, as the British public sour on the leadership of the Conservative Party led by Prime Minister Rishi Sunak.  Currently holding 348 seats in the House of Commons, the Conservative Party hold would drop to fewer than 100 members, according to a new poll done on a seat-by-seat basis reported by Politico.

In the 650-seat chamber, the survey shows that the liberal Labor Party would take 468 seats and give them the Prime Ministership.  The Labor Party currently holds a 19-point lead over the conservative Tories as far as public favorability. In Scotland and Wales, the poll shows conservatives being shut out of the election, with liberals in those countries.

If you read only the news itself and completely ignored polls these last few months you would be very hard pressed to argue what fat former President Trump and the party completely subservient to him have going for them with seven months and six days left to go before the election.

They’re hurting for money and disorganized. House Republicans can’t govern for shit, failing miserably in their quest to invent a pretext to impeach Joe Biden, decapitated their highest ranking elected official, and are threatening to do so again five months later. The party’s led by a racist madman facing 88 felony counts whose last term ended in disaster with his fans literally sacking the United States Capitol. They’ve been humiliated again and again and again in special and off-year elections far and wide after the worst midterm for the opposition party in 20 years. Trump’s already telling Nazi “Doctor” Sebastian Gorka the Democrats are going to steal the 2024 election from him.

At least 75,000 fish were killed in Iowa earlier this month when a farm accidentally NITROed them with NITRO fertilizer dumped into the East Nishnabotna River, FoxWeather.com reports. NITRO!

Thousands of demonstrators, including the families of at least 20 hostages currently held hostage in Gaza, protested outside IDF headquarters in Tel-Aviv against Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu’s regime on Saturday, calling for the asshole to resign, Axios reports.

The chief judge of the Northern District of Texas announced that his region would not adhere to a new approach handed down by the judiciary branch’s policymaking committee to minimize the impact of “judge shopping,” where plaintiffs file lawsuits in small jurisdictions so they get a specific judge, Reuters reports.

Chief U.S. District Judge David Godbey of the Northern District of Texas said his judges voted to ignore the guidelines requiring cases that could lead to injunctions of state or federal law to be assigned to a random judge from the district, not directly to the judge in the division where it was filed.  “The consensus was not to make any change to our case assignment process at this time,” Godbey wrote in a letter to Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the conservatives who control the Northern District of Texas want to maintain their stranglehold on litigation regarding culture war topics near and dear to conservatives.  It’s how we got to Dobbs and having medications like mifepristone at risk of being pulled from the market.

“But what we want is for Lara to keep focusing on her music career while we focus on winning elections at the DNC,” Democratic National Committee chair and man who speaks the truth Jaime Harrison says of his Republican analog, pop singer who dabbles in politics, Lara Trump.  “The RNC is broke.  They’re embarrassing, unserious and they’re a big waste of money.”