Disgraced former President Trump on Thursday made a campaign stop at a Massapequa Park, New York funeral home hosting a wake for slain New York City Police Officer Jonathan Diller, a 31 year-old patrolman shot dead last week in the Rockaway section of Queens. During the stop Trump spit out a few “law and order” platitudes just weeks after having promised to pardon the rioters who assaulted and injured at least 130 US Capitol and DC Metro police officers on January 6, 2021.

The vice-chairman of the Georgia Republican Party and a far-right talk show host who frequently ranted about how recent elections were stolen by Democrats illegally voted nine times while he was on probation for a forgery conviction, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.

Having been convicted of a felony for a 1996 check forgery scheme in Pennsylvania, First Vice Chair of the Georgia Republican Party Brian K. Pritchard was barred in Georgia from voting until he finished his probation, which was repeatedly extended because of noncompliance until it ended in 2011.  Pritchard claims that he thought his probation was over in 2008, when he registered to vote in Georgia; he subsequently voted in nine elections illegally.

Despite claiming on his radio program that the 2020 election was stolen and that those who voted illegally should be subject to various punishments and physical torture, Pritchard was sentenced to just a $5,000 fine and a public reprimand from the state election board.

The Alaska Department of Transportation and Public Facilities last week heralded the hiring of “Aurora,” a Boston Dynamics “Spot” model robot, to patrol the runways of the Fairbanks International Airport in diguise as a fox or coyote and chase geese and other migratory birds the fuck away from planes before they can get pureed by jet engines, the Anchorage Daily News reports.

Alaska DOT program manager Alex Marlow told a joint session of the state legislature last week that the “sole purpose of this [robo K9] is to act as a predator, and allow for us to invoke that response in wildlife without having to use other means.” Later Marlow told the Daily News that the DOT – tasked with preventing another goose crash like the one that took down an AWAC out of nearby Elmendorf Air Force Base that killed 24 service members in 1995 – had tried some other ideas like spraying grape juice from aerial drones. “We decided it probably wasn’t a good idea to spray in these areas because we didn’t know what animals are attracted to grape juice… and how safe is it having these massive drones at an airport,” Marlow said. So they settled on the undercover robo K9.

And yes, it would appear that Yahoo News is algorithmically serving stories about Boston Dynamics robo K9s to National Zero based on our browsing history. We got that. We still took the bait.

Jesus dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Thursday sent Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer a letter informing him that he will be sending the articles of impeachment against Secretary of Homeland Security Alex Mayorkas to the Senate on April 10, nearly two months after the House just barely got them passed on February 13th, showing you how urgent the whole thing was.

Johnson even wrote “We urge you to schedule a trial of the matter expeditiously,” lol. What a fucking dick. Anyway, it’s a sucker’s bet that Senate Dems will so much as bother with a trial.

White nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene on Thursday told Steve Bannon that the 11,780 votes fat former President Trump demanded Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger “find” during the infamous phone call were simply lost in the mail and soon she will reveal the proof that she found them or something. Marjie also claimed Obama is still running the government.

Manhattan federal Judge Lewis Kaplan on Thursday sentenced leftist supervillain and convicted crypto fraudster to 25 years in prison for his financial fuckery, CNBC reports.

This of course is the both the opposite of what fanboys said would happen to SBF when the scam was originally exposed AND a counterpoint to their bullshit about Kaplan, who was supposedly biased against fat former President Trump in both trials brought by rape victim EJ Carroll.

You knew this was coming. Politico reports that Robert F Kennedy Jr’s new running mate Nicole Shanahan is opposed to in-vitro fertilization and thinks sunlight would be a better alternative.

“I’m not sure that there has been a really thorough mitochondrial respiration study on the effects of two hours of morning sunlight on reproductive health. I would love to fund something like that,” said the wealthy divorcee at some Silicon Valley circlejerk panel in 2023. “I just have an intuition that could be interesting and maybe work,” she added after the audience laughed.

About IVF treatments, last month Shanahan told an Australian outlet that “It became abundantly clear that we just don’t have enough science for the things that we are telling and selling women. It’s one of the biggest lies that’s being told about women’s health today.” In 2022 she wrote in a People magazine op-ed that she believes “IVF is sold irresponsibly, and in my own experience with natural childbirth has led me to understand that the fertility industry is deeply flawed.”

But let’s hear more about how Kennedy-Shanahan 2024 is going to split off more votes from Biden than Trump just because he’s a Kennedy and so many voters are disillusioned and all that shit.

University of Michigan Surveys: “Consumer sentiment recorded an incremental increase of less than three index points from February, well within the margin of error and stable since January. Critically, consumers exhibited confidence that inflation will continue to soften. Assessments and expectations of personal finances improved modestly from last month, as the perceived negative effects of high prices and expenses on living standards eased. Strong stock market performance this month supported sentiment gains only for those with the largest holdings, with little impact on the index.”

“Overall, sentiment is essentially unchanged throughout the first quarter of 2024, remaining just shy of the midpoint between the pre-pandemic level of sentiment and the historic trough from June 2022. This stability reflects a perception among consumers that the economy has been holding steady in its current state. As the election season progresses and debates over economic policy become more salient for consumers, their outlook for the economy could become more volatile in the months ahead. Year-ahead inflation inched down from 3.0 percent last month to 2.9 this month.”

“For the third straight month, short-run inflation expectations have fallen within the 2.3-3.0 range seen in 2018 and 2019. Long-run inflation expectations also inched down, from 2.9 to 2.8, and remain modestly elevated relative to the 2.2-2.6 percent range seen in the two years pre-pandemic.”

Fulton County, Georgia Judge Scott McAfee will hear arguments from fat former President Trump and fat former Georgia GOP Chair David Shafer as they try to get the RICO charges tossed in their post-2020 election coup attempt in the Peach State. Donald’s trying to argue “First Amendment” something for his having ordered Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger to overturn his loss.

Just so you know how things are going with the Trump campaign’s takeover of the Republican National Committee, here’s largely “Beltway establishment” GOP-friendly outlet Axios with an article titled “Trump’s RNC struggles in swing states as Biden’s team grows” with a snapshot of how things are not okay at this current stage of the 2024 campaign: “One RNC staffer on the payroll through the end of this month was kicked out of their office by a Trump campaign aide, who also locked the staffer out of the data server the RNC has used to assist local campaigns.”

It’s not clear if this person is definitely outgoing, as the article states that some of the fired staffers have been told they can reapply for their jobs in the Trump subsidiary – with 2020 election denial now a prerequisite. Either way Axios does not paint a pretty picture of the inside of the party headquarters, specifically to the swing state efforts, writing that a third of the layoffs were those tasked with overseeing volunteer recruitment and mobilization operations in the swing states.

Zoom in: “Many Republicans fear” that the recklessness and incompetence is going to cost them dearly, with those first three words being key here, that for all the bluster and bullshit you hear them talk publicly, for all the polls saying Biden is screwed, this is where you should take notice. Axios is the mouthpiece for the DC GOP, carrying their water when they want to get the word out in exchange for access so they can conduct regular political reporting. They’re printing that DC establishment Republicans are getting scared because DC establishment Republicans are actually getting scared now, regardless of whether this is message-laundering or regular reporting.

“Real gross domestic product (GDP) increased at an annual rate of 3.4 percent in the fourth quarter of 2023, according to the ‘third’ estimate. In the third quarter, real GDP increased 4.9 percent. The increase in the fourth quarter primarily reflected increases in consumer spending, state and local government spending, exports, nonresidential fixed investment, federal government spending, and residential fixed investment that were partly offset by a decrease in private inventory investment. Imports, which are a subtraction in the calculation of GDP, increased,” says the Bureau of Economic Analysis in their quarterly US GDP report. Estimates were at 3.2 percent.

Massachusetts State Police Bomb Squad robo K9 officer Roscoe is dead after being shot by a madman during an armed standoff on Cape Cod earlier this month, Boston 25 reports.

Deranged 30 year-old suspect Justin Moreira was holding his mother hostage in their home in Hyannis on the morning of March 6th when Roscoe and his partner Spot, two Boston Dynamics “Spot” model robo K9s, entered the home to confront the madman. Both came under fire but Roscoe tragically took three bullets from a rifle after getting the drop on Moreira in a hallway. SWAT officers then fired tear gas into the house and the scumbag quickly came out to surrender.

Roscoe is at least the second US police robot to be killed in the line of duty this month. An unidentified robo-officer who served with the Marion County, Florida Sheriff’s Department’s SWAT team was shot dead during a similar armed standoff with a deranged suspect in The Villages on March 15th. James Savage, 54, aka Mario Gambino, has pleaded not guilty to charges of Violation of Domestic Violence Injunction, Possession of Firearm and/or Ammunition by Convicted Felon, Throw Deadly Missile at Within or In Building, Resisting an Officer with Violence, Aggravated Assault on Law Enforcement Officer (two counts), Criminal Mischief (over $1,000 damage), Criminal Mischief ($200 to $1,000 damage). The last charge was probably the one for the robo-murder.

What an idiot clown. https://t.co/w7fpPsVQaY

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) March 28, 2024

Weird how the famously opinionated conservative influencer didn’t really have anything else to say about Baltimore Mayor Brandon Scott nailing it when he accurately described “DEI” as right wingers’ coded substitute for the “n-word.” You’d think that maybe Catturd could’ve broken down why Scott is wrong with a compelling argument and if not maybe he could’ve just let it go and not reacted at all since the “What an idiot clown” comes across as pretty impotent and affronted. You might even say Scott was “over the target” as MAGA trolls are so fond of describing such situations.

Sources in disgraced former President Trump’s retinue are giving the Washington Post mixed signals on whether the twice-impeached and four-times-indicted loser is going to suck it up and get with the program on mail-in voting, with one saying “the hope is that Trump will largely leave the topic alone publicly and not sabotage the efforts,” and another saying “I think we can get him there.”

Others in the Mad King’s court are less optimistic. “He’s never going to embrace voting by mail for the whole country,” said one minion, with another saying that the fat fuck still privately calls it “fraudulent” and that “he’s suspicious of the postal workers, of anyone who could touch the ballot.”

Then there’s what Trump’s still saying publicly, such as “The ballots are a disaster. Any time the mail is involved, you’re going to have cheating. It’s too bad people don’t say it. They don’t want to say it,” in an interview with British fascist Nigel Farage earlier this month and that “mail-in voting is totally corrupt,” at a rally in Michigan last month. The less optimistic ones probably have it right.

President Joe Biden’s joint fundraising committee is set to bring in at least $25 million in just the tickets already sold for a big Thursday night event at New York’s Radio City Music Hall co-headlined by Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, featuring musical performances from Queen Latifah, Lizzo, Ben Platt, Cynthia Erivo, and Lea Michele, Politico reports. It’s more in one night than the $21 million Biden raised in all of February and stood at $97.5 million – and further pads his cash advantage over fat former President Trump, who pulled in $20 million last month, standing at $44.8 million.

White House unveils new AI regulations for federal agencies https://t.co/xGwr9sTwZh

— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 28, 2024

The sentencing for Aimee Harris, the woman who stole President Biden’s daughter’s diary and sold it to conservative activists, has been postponed a second time after she failed to appear in court in New York, telling the court via video call that child care and financial problems prevented her from making the trip from Florida, Reuters reports.

The judge, however, didn’t take this second delay for the same reasons on its face, demanding Harris turn in financial statements and other documents or face possible arrest by federal Marshals.  Harris and her partner, Robert Kurlander, pleaded guilty to selling stolen goods across state lines after getting $20,000 from Project Veritas for the book.

You don’t have to be a fan of Seinfeld of Curb Your Enthusiasm to relate to Larry David as he describes his feelings of anger and frustration to see and hear Donald Trump that remains on the national political scene. David notes that Trump’s actions to stay in office came because he was too immature and sociopathic to believe he could lose the election, despite the results.  (And on another note:  CNN reputation-washed former Fox-er Chris Wallace well, didn’t they?)

Hunter Biden’s attorneys urged the judge on Wednesday to dismiss the nine federal tax-related charges against him using various arguments, but US District Court Judge Mark Scarsi noted that one filing didn’t have much chance of making it, according to the Washington Post.

“One of the big hurdles that this motion has it that it’s not filed with any evidence,” Scarsi said of the argument that Hunter Biden’s prosecution is “selective and vindictive” and driven by political motives.  Lawyer Abbe Lowell pointed to the previous plea agreement Biden entered into with prosecutors that was pulled at the last minute after a federal judge questioned language in the agreement; instead of offering a similar deal, Lowell argued, Special Counsel David Weiss caved to political pressure and brought more serious charges.

“They reject your overbearing Green New Deal regulations.  Y’know, you gotta get an electric vehicle,” human Lego Sean Hannity babbles.  “They want to take away your stove, your refrigerator, your air conditioner, and they wanna– They even want to take away your meat.”

They are all there, the jokes about a meatless Sean Hannity, anatomically ready for the CW’s spin/ripoff series of the Barbie brand, “I’m Only a Kent.”  But the more important issue is:  When the hell are we going to come for the stoves because it’s been, like, YEARS since we put them on the list, along with guns and lawn mowers.  And who added refrigerators?