“DA Bragg fought everyone about trying this ‘no crime’ case, but Crooked Joe Biden’s ‘Thugs’ pushed him to go forward, and pushed him hard. They wanted him to go after ME, Crooked’s Political Opponent. He just didn’t want to do it. They ended up sending Matthew Colangelo, Merrick Garland’s ‘right hand,'” …blah blah blah, a bunch of bullshit… “Now their hope is that Judge Juan Merchan, who should be recused, will pull them through. STOP THE STEAL!” posted fat former President Trump on Tuesday as he continued crying about having to go on trial in three weeks… amidst which he squeezed in an informercial for MAGAchurch Pastor Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The USA Bible,” which costs $59.99, please allow up to 4-6 weeks for delivery.

Shitbag Trump minion Mike Roman, a lead coordinator of the fake 2020 electors scam and the fucker who exposed Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis’s relationship with her deputy Nathan Wade, was subpoenaed recently to speak to the state Attorney General’s office about the same crime in Arizona, ABC News reports. Accomplice Kenny Chesebro, who pleaded guilty in Georgia last year, was also interviewed, but showed up voluntarily without a subpoena.

Texas prosecutors on Tuesday dropped nearly nine year-old securities fraud charges against Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton in a non-plea deal requiring community service and a $300,000 fine, the Texas Tribune reports on another massive stain on the American justice system.

The US Supreme Court on Tuesday will hear arguments over a Texas MAGA federal judge’s batshit insane overturning of FDA approval of abortion drug mifepristone, used in nearly two-thirds of all US abortions last year. It’s the first major case in front of the court since the Dobbs decision.

“Judge Juan Merchan, a very distinguished looking man, is nevertheless a true and certified Trump Hater who suffers from a very serious case of Trump Derangement Syndrome. In other words, he hates me! His daughter is a senior executive at a Super Liberal Democrat firm that works for Adam ‘Shifty’ Schiff, the Democrat National Committee, (Dem)Senate Majority PAC, and even Crooked Joe Biden. He was recently the judge on an unrelated trial of a long term employee, elderly and not in good health. This judge treated him viciously, telling him either you cooperate or I’m putting you in jail for 15 years. He pled, and went to jail for very minor offenses, highly unusual, served 4 months in Rikers, and now they are after him again, this time for allegedly lying (doesn’t look like a lie to me!), and they threatened him again with 15 years if he doesn’t say something bad about ‘TRUMP.’ He is devastated and scared! These COUNTRY DESTROYING SCOUNDRELS & THUGS HAVE NO CASE AGAINST ME. WITCH HUNT!” writes fat former President Trump on Truth Social.

Well this will probably prompt Merchan to slap the fat fuck with a gag order pretty quickly. Donald also seems to be acutely afraid of ending up at Rikers, something not completely out of the realm of possibility if (really when) he acts up in court during the trial starting next month.

Top executives at NBC News will meet Tuesday to decide whether or not keeping failed former Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna Not-Romney McDaniel on the payroll is worth all the fucking grief they got for it, including from their own on-air talent, Variety reports.

Alcoholic shitbrain Rudy Giuliani was recently overheard at Mar-a-Lago complaining that his life has turned into a “nightmare world,” and “he wakes up everyday and can’t believe it’s real,” after having to declare bankruptcy following the $148 million judgment in the defamation case brought by former Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shae Moss, New York Post Page Six reports.

The Post’s celberity gossip blotter staff wrote that they “hear that Trump himself was also at the same event, and that Giuliani stopped by Trump’s table briefly, our source said – despite the former mayor’s February claims in bankruptcy court that the Trump 2020 campaign and the Republican National Committee still owe him $2 million in legal fees.” We would’ve added that it’s like Rudy’s personal 9/11 except this time Trump isn’t even bothering to lie about helping the former NYC mayor out of the rubble that remains of his reputation, but maybe that’d be too tasteless even for the Post.

Russian FSB Director Alexander Bortnikov is still claiming the deadly ISIS attack on the Crocus City Hall venue in Moscow last week was aided by American, British, and Ukrainian intelligence services, despite the fact that the US literally fucking warned the Russians, state media reports.

“We believe that the action was prepared both by the radical Islamists themselves and, naturally, by Western intelligence services. The Ukrainian intelligence services themselves are directly related to this,” Bortnikov told RIA Novosti on Tuesday, adding “The bandits intended to go abroad specifically to the territory of Ukraine. According to our preliminary operational information, they were expected there. I’ll tell you a little secret: they wanted to be greeted as heroes on the other side.”

Wrong, you dipshit. He said he’ll pay with cash, securities, or bonds. Unlike Crooked Joe who is bought and paid for by the CCP. https://t.co/crZF80iD9b

— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) March 25, 2024

There’s nothing more essential to the internet than getting the other guys to react angrily to your shitposting. Nobody should have internalized that better than disgraced former President Trump and his minions… Hell that’s basically what his entire political career was built around.

“As it stands right now, the deranged Democrats are refusing to take up the Impeachment Trial of Alejandro Mayorkas and threatening to dismiss it within minutes when it finally is brought up. Even ‘centrist’ Democrats called the Mayorkas impeachment trial ‘ridiculous’ just days after a criminal illegal brutally murdered Laken Riley in cold blood. What do you think they would do if we Impeached Biden? It’s clear that Democrats will choose their party over country and the truth at every turn.”

“They should be ashamed of themselves. That’s why I am preparing criminal referrals as the culmination of my investigation. When President Trump returns to the White House, it’s critical the new leadership at the DOJ have everything they need to prosecute the Biden Crime Family and deliver swift justice,” wrote House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer’s campaign lackeys in a fundraising email send Monday, further making it clear that the inquiry is over.

At least seven people are missing after a Singaporean container ship struck the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore, Maryland early Tuesday, collapsing much the span carrying Interstate 695 and sending the cars into the Patapsco River, USA Today reports.

A Santa Monica, California man is suing a group of women who belong to a Facebook group called “Are We Dating The Same Guy,” saying the group encouraged anti-male discussions that amount to sexism and gender bias, Fox 11 in Los Angeles reports.

Stewart Lucas Murrey, who claims a Ph.D. from Yale with two books (Hölderlin’s Dionysiac Poetry and Nietzsche: The Meaning of Earth) on his CV, sued sixty women claiming the Facebook group undertook libel, sex-based discrimination, gender violence, invasion of privacy and conspiracy, along with other allegations based on discussions about him that were, unsurprisingly, overwhelmingly negative.  He’s seeking $2.6 million in damages, and he’s set up a GoFundMe to finance the effort.  As of 12:08 a.m. ET, three anonymous donations account for all $155 toward the $60,000 goal.

“The acts of these defendants are hate-fueled and unrelentless,” reads a statement on Murrey’s website where he seeks to justify his lawsuit as one for men’s rights fighting against slander. “One can name them a female version of incels: ‘femcels.’ The glue of their group is their hatred of men.”  He’s not the only one who feels that way:  a 32-year-old man from Chicago, Nikko D’Ambrosio, is also suing the group and 27 separate women after discussions about him included the words “very clingy very fast” by a woman who had a brief sexual relationship with him.

Billionaires including fossil fuel magnate Harold Hamm and bottomfeeder who got rich in the 2008 housing market failure John Paulson were two of the people trying to pull cash together to cover Donald Trump’s $450 million bond needed to appeal his civil disgorgement, Reuters reports.

The arrangement once again highlight Trump’s susceptibility to influence from the people who allow him to keep his property and lifestyle while he fight to keep the money he got from illegal business practices.  This comes on the heels of a report that one of the major stakeholders in TikTok, Jeff Yass, purchased a major share of DWAC, the “blank check” company that merged with Trump Media, enabling the company to go public on Tuesday.  After previously calling for TikTok to be banned in the US as a national security threat, ten days ago Donald Trump flip-flopped his position and pushed against a proposed ban.

Self-proclaimed free speech advocate who bought Twitter in his $44 billion crusade to re-platform underrepresented whiny white racists in the United States Elon Musk lost his lawsuit to censor an advocacy group that reported on the increase of hate speech on dead-named Twitter since Musk’s October 2022 takeover, CNN reports.

Musk blamed the Center for Countering Digital Hate for losing tens of millions of dollars in advertising after the group studied posts on the platform and released its findings.  Musk’s company claimed CCDH violated the platform’s terms of service by releasing its results, and therefore Musk wanted the court to order the group to withdraw the report.

Northern California District Judge Charles Breyer, however, saw through Musk’s effort, saying the petulant billionaire’s aims were clear.   “Sometimes it is unclear what is driving a litigation.  Other times, a complaint is so unabashedly and vociferously about one thing that there can be no mistaking that purpose,” Breyer wrote. “This case represents the latter circumstance.  This case is about punishing the Defendants for their speech.”

In roughly one-one hundred fiftieth the time it took George W. Bush to acknowledge Iraq did not plan the 9/11 attacks, Russian President Vladimir Putin acknowledged that ISIS attacked a theater in Moscow last week killing more than 130 people, not Ukrainian forces as he previously claimed, Politico reports.  But he also implied that Kyiv ordered the group to attack.

“We know that the crime was carried out by radical Islamists,” Putin said in televised remarks before adding that the Kremlin was investigating “who ordered” the group to attack.  “The question that arises is who benefits from this? This atrocity may be just a link in a whole series of attempts by those who have been at war with our country since 2014 by the hands of the neo-Nazi Kyiv regime.”

The Washington Post confirms that Donald Trump’s third mother-in-law, Amalija Knavs, Melania Trump’s mother, migrated to the United States via “chain migration,” an immigration policy that allows an American citizen to quickly facilitate legal entry for foreign parents and minor children; siblings and adult children had to go through more traditional channels. Knavs’s 165-page file from her 2009 immigration application says that she’s applying as the parent of a US citizen and lists Melania Trump as her financial sponsor.  Knav’s died earlier this year.

However, under Baphomet’s brother Stephen Miller’s immigration policy, Trump attempted to revoke the policy, which went into 1965.  Trump favored the RAISE Act, which limited sponsorship to spouses and minor children, nullifying sponsorship for parents.  “The Democrats have been told, and fully understand, that there can be no DACA without the desperately needed WALL at the Southern Border and an END to the horrible Chain Migration & ridiculous Lottery System of Immigration etc.,” Trump tweeted in December 2017. “We must protect our Country at all cost!”

Donald Trump said “I would act very much the same way as [Israel] did. You would have to be crazy not to,” in response to an attack like Hamas committed on October 7th before saying in his response to the very next question, “I think Israel made a very big mistake [in the way it responded to the attack]. I wanted to call [Israel] and say don’t do it.”

According to the transcript in Israel Hayom, Trump was asked how he would respond to an attack if his “children and grandchildren” were kidnapped and attacked, “I would say I would act very much the same way as you did. You would have to be crazy not to. Only a fool would not do that. That was a horrible attack.”

The next question asked how Trump would “counter the wave of antisemitism in the wake of the war’s outbreak?”  Without thinking, Trump responded, “Well, that’s because you fought back. And I think Israel made a very big mistake. I wanted to call [Israel] and say don’t do it. These photos and shots. I mean, moving shots of bombs being dropped into buildings in Gaza. And I said, Oh, that’s a terrible portrait. It’s a very bad picture for the world. The world is seeing this…every night, I would watch buildings pour down on people. It would say it was given by the Defense Ministry, and said whoever’s providing that that’s a bad image.”  So Trump would “do that” but not “do it.”

Using the symbol DJT, the stock of the newly funded Trump Media & Technology Group will hit the Nasdaq exchange Tuesday morning after the approval for the merger with the “open check” company Digital World Acquisition Corp. went though last week, the Washington Post reports.

The DJT symbol will simply replace Digital World’s DWAC spot on the board, with the stock closing at $49.95 on Monday.  Undoubtedly, there will be a significant number of small, odd lots being sold to novelty collectors and cultists which may make the stock price jump and fluctuate on the first day of trading.

A former Republican leader of the Ohio state house who was convicted by federal prosecutors in the largest public corruption scandal in state history now faces additional charges including one that would specifically forbid him from holding office again–brought by the state’s Republican Attorney General, so you know it’s bad, the Columbus Dispatch reports.

Stemming from an investigation by the Ohio Organized Crime Investigations Commission, Larry Householder now faces ten state felony counts relating to a scheme to get a $1 billion bailout for two nuclear energy plants run by FirstEnergy Solutions.  Adding salt to the wound:  the state charge target Householder’s use of $750,000 from his reelection campaign fund for the defense in his federal criminal case.

One of the charges brought by Republican Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost is a count of first-degree theft in public office, which upon conviction would bar Householder from electing for public office or even holding a government job.  Why he needs to be convicted on state charges to be excluded from office after a conviction on federal RICO charges seems to be an unnecessary redundancy to have to do over again.

Oh fuck, QAnon is going to love this one… Even though we haven’t seen Puff Daddy in their mythos like Tom Hanks, Oprah Winfrey, Travis Scott, Bill Gates, etc, he’s still sort of a celebrity and to be caught up in “sex trafficking” is going to be seen as a vindication no matter what.

Also who gives a shit if he calls himself “P Diddy”? Anyway, TMZ reports that Homeland Security agents have raided formerly relevant rap music artist and mogul Sean Combs’s homes in Beverly Hills and Miami as part of a federal sex trafficking investigation, raids that are still ongoing as of this printing. The Storm has indeed arrived for the Daddy/Diddy/Diddler guy at least.