“The Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government will hold a hearing on Thursday, March 7, 2024, at 10:00 am ET. The hearing will examine how Big Government has colluded with Big Banks to surveil Americans’ private financial data. The financial surveillance uncovered by the Committee was not predicated on any specific evidence of particularized criminal conduct and it focused on terms and specific transactions that concerned core political and religious expression protected by the Constitution,” says a statement from Jim Jordan’s “Weaponization” subcommittee claiming douchebag anti-woman influencer Jordan Peterson and some other right wing eggheads are supposed to be testifying this morning, but watching now it seems like the original reporting on it being about the financial aspects of the Justice Department’s January 6th investigations is also true as former DC Metro Police Officer Mike Fanone is being sworn in.

Texas MAGA Congressman and former Navy Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson is actually a former Navy Captain after the Department of Defense retroactively demoted him in 2022 following an inspector general’s report on his boozing, free distribution of controlled substances, and general assclownery while serving as the Trump White House’s chief physician, the Washington Post reports.

Jackson, who officially retired from the Navy in December 2019 ahead of his successful run for Texas’s 13th District, now earns $15,000 less per year in pension as a result of the demotion. Navy spokesman Lt Cmdr Joe Keiley confirmed to the Post the demotion without specifying how far down Jackson had been busted down. “The substantiated allegations in the DoDIG investigation of Rear Adm (lower half) Ronny Jackson are not in keeping with the standards the Navy requires of its leaders and, as such, the Secretary of the Navy took administrative action in July 2022,” Keily wrote.

Jackson of course continues to lie on his official House and campaign websites that he’s a retired rear admiral, but that’s a smaller issue than the overall context in which it occurs, as Jackson had held the position during the Obama Administration. Which makes him the go-to for the right wing media on his “inside knowledge” of both Joe Biden and Donald Trump’s health histories.

Meaning it seems like this reporting and last week’s Rolling Stone story on Jackson handing out speed and Xanax like they were candy to Trump White House staffers is meant to undermine his credibility when he’s supposed to be spewing all sorts of bullshit about how Biden is demented while Trump has the mind and body of a 22 year old Olympian skier/MIT grad student. Good on the Biden White House for getting aggressive with this son of a bitch. It’s not really a “hit job” when it’s true.

Additional notes by Jack: Texas’s “stolen valor” law punishes individuals who lie or exaggerate about their military record, barring false claims to “obtain a promotion, compensation, or other benefit, or an increase in compensation or other benefit, in employment or in the practice of a trade, profession, or occupation.” Jackson’s website continues to knowingly promote his false rank as a rear admiral, which should put him in line for charges, but indicted Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s office will never seek charges.

The frontwoman of top Korean pop act Aespa, Yu “Karina” Ji-min, apologized to fans on Wednesday after a Seoul-based entertainment news site last month broke that she was dating actor Lee Jae-wook, which is a big no-no for fans in Korea and Japan who demand that the extremely remote possibility they can eff their idols be left open, otherwise the is magic gone, Sky News reports.

Seriously. Aespa fans last week rented an electronic billboard and parked it outside of her record label SM Entertainment, with a message reading “Is the love to you by your fans not enough? Why did you choose to betray the fans? Please apologize directly. Otherwise, you will see a decrease in album sales and empty concert seats,” which led “Karina” to apologize on Instagram.

“I apologize for surprising you greatly. I know very well how disappointed [my fans] who have supported me are and how upset you’re thinking about the memories we shared together. I want to make up for my hurt fans from now on. I have always been sincere to you, and still each and every one of you are truly precious to me,” she hand-wrote in very bubbly Korean letters.

Obviously she didn’t say she was actually ending it with Jae-wook or otherwise commit to again becoming “available” to her fans so give her some points for that. Maybe it’s too much to expect a 23 year-old under no doubt a lot of control from her label’s executives to speak out against this mass delusion of incel-dom and tell people to fuck off, let her have her own life, but this is some weird shit and pretty embarrassing to witness even from a distance. Hopefully whatever Western fanbase she has could push the Koreans and Japanese to let go of their fantasy-based demands.

Welcome 2Pres Biden’s America where the fed govt chooses energy dependence over energy DOMINANCE AND INDEPENDENCE

— Chuck Grassley (@ChuckGrassley) March 6, 2024

The state of Texas this year will be overwhelmed with an invasion of trillions of dark-colored, disgusting vermin and there’s nothing Governor Low Energy Greg Abbott or Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton can do about it, as the Austin American-Statesman reports two overlapping broods of cicadas are set to emerge from the ground to terrorize and annoy white Texans.

“What makes this rather unusual is that both broods are emerging during the same year,” said Mount St Joseph University biology Professor Dr Gene Kritsky. “Now the last time these two particular broods emerged together was in 1803. To give people some historical perspective, that’s when Thomas Jefferson was president of the United States,” Kritsky added about the inferior, darkly-colored filth that no law can stop from replacing normal-sized, quieter bugs during an election year.

Former D-list WWE pro wrestler and Trump-endorsed 2020 Nevada 3rd District Congressional candidate Dan Rodimer surrendered to cops Wednesday on murder charges in connection with the October 29th, 2023 beating death of another man in a Las Vegas hotel room, Fox News reports.

Alabama Republican Governor Kay Ivey signed a bill Wednesday protecting IVF treatments from the state Supreme Court’s broad decision saying fertilized embryos are people and thereby exposing fertility clinics to possible charges of abuse and manslaughter, CNN reports.

The new law, however, doesn’t address the central issue of the court’s decision, the legal issue of personhood for fetuses, something sought by conservative anti-choice activists.  The legislation flew through both the state house and Senate on Wednesday before landing on Ivey’s desk.  Speed became an issue because fertility treatments are limited to the patients’ individual needs.

A 62-year-old man from Magdeburg, Germany who reportedly received 217 Covid vaccination shots over 29 months starting in June 2021 shows no signs of any adverse effects even though he received an extreme dose, CNN reports.

Medical researchers contacted the man after reading about his legal difficulties:  local prosecutors investigated him for suspicion of fraudulently obtaining vaccination certifications, but decided to not press charges after confirming the man had received 134 doses; he self-reported another 83.  The study does not address the reason the man received so many vaccinations.

At times, the man traveled to get vaccinations–one every four days on average–after local clinics barred him; one threatened to call police if he returned after being spotted on site.  He did not test positive for the virus from May 2022 to November 2023, but the senior researcher does not believe that had to do with his hyper-dosage:  “The benefit is not much bigger if you get vaccinated three times or 200 times.”

“She was there when sailors were returning from war.  I mean, what did she expect,” Jesse Watters says as the network tries to create another bit of faux outrage over a vintage photo in a company where tens of millions of dollars in sexual harassment lawsuits obviously didn’t sink in.

“I mean, he’s an American hero and she’s just paying him back,” so-called “news anchor” Julie Banderas responds before Watters chirps in, “It’s the least she could do!”

“I bet you that’s not only she paid him back with, I’m just saying,” Banderas continues as Watters chortles like a perverted old man who just told a dirty joke at a family reunion.

In a pilot program, PreCheck screened passengers at Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas can opt to use a self-screening lane which officials compared to a self-checkout line at a supermarket, the Washington Post reports.  It’s an addition effort by the Department of Transportation to speed travel through airports.

The program is geared to frequent travelers who know what needs to be screened through x-ray and other scanners and who can manage their own processes with little interaction with TSA agents.  TSA agents will still screen identification and other documents at the start of the process, and if the passenger is selected for a random screening, they can still be pulled from the line.

In the tradition of famous offroaders in the Palin and Boebert clans, a Massachusetts man who took prescription drugs and drank a couple beers before slamming into a parked Blackhawk helicopter on the runway of a little-used airport he was snowmobiling on, the Associated Press reports, and now he’s suing the government for $9.5 million in damages.

The lawsuit says 48-year-old Jeff Smith had the permission of the owner of the private airport to ride his snowmobile on the property one night in March 2019, when he slammed into the tail of a Blackhawk helicopter when he was traveling at around 60 mph.

Smith claims the Blackhawk crew, which landed at the airfield as part of an exercise, did not do enough to light the attack copter or to let people know that it was there.  Smith has already reached a settlement with the airfield owner.  The government’s response is basically, “You ran into our parked helicopter.”

A Trump-supporting former missionary who homeschools her children and lost a 2022 race for a local school board beat the incumbent Republican North Carolina state superintendent of schools in Tuesday’s primary, WTVD ABC 11 in Raleigh reports, putting another far-right radical on the November ballot in a state that will be targeted by both presidential candidates.

Republican Michele Morrow beat Catherine Truitt campaigning on the claim that the state’s public schools were indoctrinating students into “woke” ideology and left-wing ideas.  She’ll take on Democrat Maurice “Mo” Green, a former Guilford County schools superintendent, for the state job.

According to the Raleigh News & Observer, Morrow holds many views popular with the far right that push away many voters, including posting that the US should “ban Islam” and “ban Muslims from elected offices.”  Paired with a misogynist Holocaust denier running as the GOP’s nominee for North Carolina governor, and many voters will turn out to make sure three people don’t get into office.

A celebrated Long Island, New York vegan bakery has apparently been caught sending its clients doughnuts it claimed were gluten-free and vegan, but were in fact just Dunkin’ Donuts strawberry frosted, completed with the chain’s signature “DD” sprinkles, the Washington Post reports.

The co-owner of vegan shop Cindysnacks in Huntington took to social media to question the product that was delivered to their shop from the Savory Fig, which supplies specialty baked goods for sale in area shops.  On its Instagram page, Cindysnacks walked viewers through the doughnuts being tested, resulting in a “highly positive” reaction for gluten.

Mark Robinson, GOP candidate for North Carolina Governor: I absolutely want to go back to the America where women couldn’t vote pic.twitter.com/Mh99n0goWO

— DNC War Room (@DNCWarRoom) March 6, 2024

Former D-list WWE pro wrestler and Trump-endorsed 2020 Nevada 3rd District Congressional candidate Dan Rodimer is wanted on murder charges in connection with the beating death of another man in a hotel room at Resorts World Las Vegas on October 29th of last year, KRNV reports.

The parents of University of Georgia nursing student Laken Riley, who was murdered last month by a Venezuelan migrant, have declined an invite to the State of The Union address from antisemitic MAGA Congressman Mike Collins, who now says he’ll leave a seat empty in the House chamber during the speech “to honor Americans he could have invited had their lives not been cut short by foreign criminals who had no business being in this country,” WSB-TV reports.

“As the president paints a rosy picture of the crime-ridden country he has created, he will see an empty seat in the gallery that memorializes those who are no longer with us because of his open border,” Collins wrote in a statement, plainly disappointed that, for now at least, the Rileys don’t want to be used as a prop for white nationalist xenophobia. “Did Joe Biden extend the family of Laken Riley an invitation to the State of the Union? Has he called? Has he written? One shred of human remorse for giving her alleged killer the freedom to kill?” Stephen Miller tweeted Wednesday.

“It is important, for the Good of our Country, that Joe Biden and I Debate Issues that are so vital to America, and the American People. Therefore, I am calling for Debates, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANYPLACE! The Debates can be run by the Corrupt DNC, or their Subsidiary, the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD). I look forward to receiving a response. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” writes disgraced former President Trump, who had forced Ronna Not-Romney to go through a whole song and dance of withdrawing from the Debate Commission.

This is the kind of overconfidence that led to the shitshow that was the first debate in 2020, when Trump and the entire MAGA propaganda industrial complex created these expectations that Joe Biden was going to die on stage and that he was on drugs or whatever and then it just devolved into a complete disaster for Trump, even leading to a mute button being added for the second one.

Trump was also “pleased to inform you that tomorrow night we will be doing a LIVE, Play by Play, of Crooked Joe Biden’s State of the Union Address. I will correct, in rapid response, any and all inaccurate Statements, especially pertaining to the Border and his Weaponization of the DOJ, FBI, AGs, and District Attorneys, to go after his Political Opponent, ME (something never done before in this Country!). We did this once before to tremendous success – Beating All Records. It is important for the Country to get the TRUTH!” as if the entire government revolves around Trump’s indictments and Biden’s going to be talking about them in the State of The Union address.

Asked Wednesday on why he endorsed fat former President Trump after all the “Old Crow” and “Coco Chow” insults, Mitch McConnell – who by the way looks and sounds like he’s in worse shape than even some of the most exaggerated right wing depictions of Joe Biden – repeatedly just said he had already committed to it back in February 2021 (he did). How’s that for enthusiasm?

Shortly before this, the Orange God Emperor posted an anodyne “Thank you, Mitch. I look forward to working with you and a Republican Senate MAJORITY to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” which he probably didn’t actually write himself. Feels too magnanimous and normal-ish for Donald.

The US Supreme Court on Wednesday scheduled the arguments for fat former President Trump’s bullshit bid to escape accountability for his crimes for Thursday, April 25th, CNN reports.

Prosecutors in Arizona have been issuing grand jury subpoenas in their investigation into the Trump 2020 fake electors scam in the state, a sign Politico says indicates “that Attorney General Kris Mayes, a Democrat, is nearing a decision on whether to charge Trump’s allies in the state, including GOP activists who falsely posed as presidential electors in December 2020.”

It’s not clear yet if fat former President Trump himself could face charges. Though he was ultimately indicted in Georgia along with the ringleaders of the plot in that state, similar prosecutions in Michigan and Nevada led by the state Attorneys General focused only on the fake electors.