Exiting court in NYC on Monday, fat former President Trump vowed to appeal the start date of the trial over his hush money payments to porn star Stormy Daniels. Problem is that a trial start date is not subject to appeal and he’s probably going to throw something at his lawyers when they tell him.

As he left the building, Trump also ignored a question from a reporter asking if he would accept foreign money to pay the now $175 million bond required to appeal the fraud case.

The big Monday hearing to determine when disgraced former President Trump’s criminal trial over his hush money payments to pornstar Stormy Daniels in the days before the 2016 election will begin – following a delay wrought by federal prosecutors’ slow production of discovery evidence to both sides – went south for the fat fuck’s legal team, per several reporters present and live-tweeting as Team Orange crumpled on contact with scrutiny applied by Judge Juan Merchan.

After interrogating Trump’s team over their false accusations that the Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s office and Merchan himself had been colluding against them, the judge ruled that the DA had not been at fault for the delayed production and set jury selection for April 15th.

“He is running for President, he should not have to sit for this trial now, given that DANY could have filed this case 3 years ago,” moaned Trump lawyer Todd Blanche after Merchan had ruled.

add a little 🔥 spice 🔥with OREO Churro, on shelves 3/27 pic.twitter.com/C2QH3m0rxl

— OREO Cookie (@Oreo) March 20, 2024

“It is ordered that the motion is granted to the extent of staying enforcement of those portions of the Judgment (1) ordering disgorgement to the Attorney General of $464,576,230.62, conditioned on defendants-appellants posting, within ten (10) days of the date of this order, an undertaking in the amount of $175 million dollars; (2) permanently barring defendants Weisselberg and McConney from serving in the financial control function of any New York corporation or similar business entity; (3) barring defendants Donald J Trump, Weisselberg and McConney from serving as an officer or director of any New York corporation for three years; (4) barring defendant Donald J. Trump and the corporate defendants from applying for loans from New York financial institutions for three years; and (5) barring defendants Donald Trump, Jr and Eric Trump from serving as an officer or director of any New York corporation in New York for two years. The aforesaid stay is conditioned on defendants-appellants perfecting the appeals for the September 2024 Term of this Court. The motion is otherwise denied, including to the extent it seeks a stay of enforcement of portions of the judgment (1) extending and enhancing the role of the Monitor and (2) directing the installation of an Independent Director of Compliance,” says the order from the New York State Appeals court.

The fat bastard, on a break from a hearing in the other legal shitshow he faces later posted on Truth Social that “We will abide by the decision of the Appellate Division, and post either a bond, equivalent securities, or cash,” amid his using caterwauling about the case.

The United Nations Security Council on Monday adopted a resolution calling for Israel to stop blowing up innocent people in Gaza and for Hamas to immediately release all hostages unconditionally, with US abstaining from the vote, Axios’s Barak Ravid reports.

Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu had earlier threatened to cancel a delegation’s trip to the White House if the US did not exercise a veto. Bluff called as obviously the US did not veto.

Republican Arizona state Senator Shawnna Bolick told Politico at a recent forced-birth event she was worried that a proposed referendum enshrining the right to abortion in the Grand Canyon State could end up screwing her reelection chances if she’s on the ballot right next to it in November.

“If that issue gets onto the ballot, it is going to drive out the Democratic base, and potentially we lose the [state] House and Senate. I represent a swing district, so obviously, I’m a target.” Bolick said as she joined other MAGA legislators to sign a pledge from the “Right to Life” group, affirming their commitment to opposing “the effort underway to change the Arizona Constitution.”

The U.S. Federal Reserve looks on track to cut interest rates as the presidential campaign season heats up, potentially delivering President Joe Biden a boost as polls show Americans dislike his handling of the economy. https://t.co/uMuDsej9nm

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) March 25, 2024

Finally a Trump win in civil court. A federal appeals panel on Monday ruled that Donald Trump Jr did not defame West Virginia coal baron Don Blankenship when Don Jr called Blankenship a “felon,” which was technically untrue because for some fucking reason Blankenship is merely a misdemeanant for getting 29 coal miners killed in an explosion due to violating safety regulations.

“In this case, we consider an appeal by plaintiff Don Blankenship from the district court’s award of summary judgment to defendant Donald Trump, Jr on Blankenship’s claims under West Virginia law of defamation, false light invasion of privacy, and civil conspiracy. Because we agree with the district court that the record is insufficient to show that Trump, Jr made a defamatory statement with actual malice, we affirm the district court’s judgment,” said the per curiam ruling.

“To be clear, offering the Special Counsel a blank check has harmed President Trump’s substantial rights, and DOJ simply could not have funded the entirety of Jack Smith’s expansive politically motivated witch hunt from an alternative source. See Opp’n at 20-21. What has transpired since Smith’s appointment by the Attorney General is exactly what caused concern as the Independent Counsel Act expired. See Mot at 9-10 (quoting from Independent Counsel Hearing testimony that ‘insulation… eliminates the incentive to show restraint in the exercise of prosecutorial power’ and ‘provide[s] an impetus to investigate the most trivial matter to an unwarranted extreme, and to resolve all doubt against the subjects of an investigation’). Since the founding, resource constraints on prosecutors have been regarded as an indispensable guarantee of substantive fairness.”

“The lack of any such constraints here has allowed the Special Counsel’s Office to engage in an unabashed political crusade with zero accountability. The Special Counsel’s Office is pursuing two different cases in two jurisdictions in order to maximize interference in the ongoing presidential election. This tactic is the luxury of a prosecutor facing no resource constraints. And it is far from a forgone conclusion, as the Office seems to treat it, that DOJ ‘could readily have funded the Special Counsel from other appropriations that were available,'” write fat former President Trump’s lawyers in a motion to Florida MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon, part of a larger flurry of similar bullshit filings.

Keep an eye on this. Of course it’s smart to abandon all hope of the Mar-a-Lago docs case going to trial before November, but the real point is almost certainly to fuck up Jack Smith in DC.

What the hell was this asshole thinking when he decided to go on an MSM show where he would actually have to explain his lies and bullshit to a real journalist who knows what she’s doing?

Batshit anti-vax assclown Robert F Kennedy Jr will be forced to restart his ballot access petition process and gather 15,000 signatures all over again in Nevada due to his not having yet selected a running mate, a requirement for a presidential ticket in the Silver State, CBS News reports.

Bobby Jr will have until August 7th to re-gather the signatures after, as expected, some rich guy’s wife joins his campaign on Tuesday. It’s not clear what happened with QAaron Rodgers.

The media are reporting that fat former President Trump faces a legal “reckoning” in New York City on two fronts Monday with a $454 million judgment coming due in the New York Attorney General Letitia James’s lawsuit against his corrupt business empire and a judge set to decide when his trial on charges that he interfered in the 2016 election by paying porn star Stormy Daniels to stay quiet about a 45 second sexual encounter. The media appear to be pretty excited about the reckoning.

On Sunday the orange bastard complained about the coverage on Truth Social, writing “Don’t Like the way FoxNews is reporting the Letitia James Election Interference Scam. They don’t want to discuss how ridiculous the Corrupt Judge’s fine of 450 Million Dollars is. It should be $ZERO. The only fraud was the valuation of Mar-a-Lago at $18,000,000 by the Crooked Judge in order to help his already fully debunked narrative. They should pay me damages for what they have done, and ultimately will. THESE ARE NOT THE PEOPLE THAT MADE AMERICA GREAT, THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE DESTROYING AMERICA!” and a whole bunch of other bullshit.

Congratulations, Donald. Quite the accomplishment. pic.twitter.com/nyDivqPwoI

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) March 25, 2024

President Joe Biden, who just signed a $1.2 trillion budget to fund the entire government through September while forgiving another $6 billion in student loan debt, finds time to needle his presumptive opponent in the November election, the adjudicated rapist and claimed “billionaire” admittedly in need of cash Donald Trump, who did real good this weekend.  Real good, Donnie.

Months before it’s supposed to host the Summer Olympics when the world is supposed to celebrate peace and humankind, France raised its terror attack alert to the highest level in response to the horrific ISIS attack in Moscow that killed more than 130 people, Reuters reports.  France’s President Emmanuel Macron held an emergency meeting with his national security team before announcing the move to set the terror alert to the highest of the three levels.  The shift allows the French federal government to implement additional armed security at public places such as airports, train stations, stadiums and religious sites.

Preacher of the House Mike Johnson snuck a provision in the $1.2 trillion budget package passed on Friday as the country neared a fiscal cliff that banned US embassies and consulates overseas from flying the LGBTQ Pride flag, CBS News reports.

Johnson used the ban as a selling point to try to get members of the far-right and evangelicals to vote for the budget plan, but the majority of votes passing the budget bill in the House came from Democrats.  The White House said that it was unable to cut the provision, but it did cut more than 50 amendments aimed at the LGBTQ community.

“President Biden believes it was inappropriate to abuse the process that is essential to keep the government open by including this policy targeting LGBTQI+ Americans,” White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre posted on social media. “We fought this policy and will work with Congress to repeal it.”

👀 https://t.co/6eEIOt4c2M

— Jenna Ellis (@JennaEllisEsq) March 24, 2024

It’s been a while since we picked up one of these D-lister right wing influencers tweeting links to these ridiculous clickbait articles, but man this one’s an all-time great in terms of how they just fucking mangled the story to make it this misleading. Actually pretty impressive.

But don’t click on it because we already picked it up: Bryan Malinowski, the executive director of the Bill and Hillary Clinton Airport in Little Rock, Arkansas is dead because ATF agents shot him in when they were serving a search warrant on his home. He was trafficking illegal guns on the side for God knows what reason. That’s the only real question to be raised here. Hillary had jack shit to do with it and it’s a very safe bet that she never met Malinowski, a career air transport bureaucrat.

“It is my great honor to be at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach tonight, AWARDS NIGHT, to receive THE CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY & THE SENIOR CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY. I WON BOTH! A large and golfing talented membership, a GREAT and difficult course, made the play very exciting. The qualifying and match play was amazing. A large and distinguished group will be there tonight. Very exciting, thank you!!!” writes fat former President Trump on Truth Social.

New Jersey First Lady Tammy Murphy will drop out of the Dem Senate primary, clearing the path for Congressman Andy Kim to take over for Gold Bars Bob Menendez, Politico reports.

Garden State political observers will probably tell you this is like an “earthquake” or something given the “machine” nature inherent to both state parties, and that the Murphys had strong-armed a shit ton of endorsements from Democratic officials and local party honchos even as Kim had the support of the actual voters in poll after poll. The implications to those of us in the other 49 are less important now that the good guy won and will be the state’s next Senator. It’d be nice of Phil to appoint Kim to the seat when Menendez takes an early retirement in a federal prison facility.

The brief saga of the obese alligator occupying the yard of an abandoned Coca-Cola bottling plant on Fowler Ave that had some neighbors in the Tampa suburb of Temple Terrace, Florida sort of concerned has ended happily for all involved as staff from reptile zoo Croc Encounters arrived Friday to winch the fat bastard onto a pickup truck to re-home him at their fetid tourist trap, WFLA reports.

“It’s rumored the alligator was being fed ham and chicken by employees at surrounding businesses and likely other people as well. Not only is it illegal to feed alligators in the wild but it’s unhealthy for them. This alligator is extremely overweight and now accustomed to getting fed by people,” Croc Encounters wrote in a Facebook post heralding the capture of their newest, fattest addition. They didn’t elaborate on what’s actually going to be different for the gator’s diet and sedentary lifestyle other than that they can now charge people admission to watch them feed him chicken and ham.

Ronna Romney is a cunt.

She is beyond evil, and she is why Republicans lost as much as they did.

Donald Trump needs to condemn this witch. He needs to strongly rebuke this absolute cunt of a woman @RonnaMcDaniel for the sake of the GOP base and the J6 political prisoners. https://t.co/DCgO5EMHmG

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) March 24, 2024