“Announcement on the Passing of Bryan Malinowski, executive director of Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport by Bill Walker, chair of the Little Rock Municipal Airport Commission: ‘With a heavy heart, we announce the passing of our executive director Bryan Malinowski. Bryan was a 16-year employee of the airport. Under his leadership, our airport has experienced significant growth and success, expanding services and offerings to our community and state. We extend our heartfelt condolences to Bryan’s wife, Maer, loved ones and friends,’” says a press release from the Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport in Arkansas, after Malinowski succumbed to his wounds on Thursday.

Their update’s vagueness makes it sound more “Arkancide”-ish than the KARK article that says the ATF were serving a warrant on the guy for arms trafficking when the gunfight started at his home.

But you know, Clintons, mysterious death, corruption something something… Actually pretty surprising the right wing media haven’t jumped on this just given the implications of having those words in the headline and the whole Second Amendment angle too. In a vacuum it’s also very freaking weird that a guy with a good, well-paid job would be moving illegal guns as a side hustle.

They had to have a line somewhere:  The Missouri Republican Party filed a petition in state court to remove Darrell McClanahan III from the primary ballot for governor because a photo surfaced depicting the candidate with a robed and hooded Klan member in front of a burning cross while the pair give a Nazi salute, the Daily Beast reports.

“[Missouri State Republican Committee] does not want to be associated with Mr. McClanahan. His racism and antisemitism are antithetical to beliefs of MRSC,” a petition from the Party says, claiming the Party did not learn of McClanahan’s extremism until after he filed the paperwork, but we were able to find the link above, with the offending photos, with a simple Google search, so they clearly didn’t try too hard on that background search.

Henry Barbour, a GOP Committee member, explained why Republican leadership really, really isn’t worried at all about having a Trump leading the RNC and its fundraising operation, which essentially signed over its checkbook to Donald Trump’s legal team.  “The Trump campaign has confirmed that, indeed, they have no plans to spend any RNC dollars on it, and we appreciate that very much.”  Yeah, because Trump’s financial promises have always panned out.

Filed in the “Nothing Bad Can Happen With This, Right?” drawer:  US Special Forces are stationed on a Taiwanese island just four miles from mainland China, the Telegraph reports.  The troops are on a string of small islands along southeast China, more than 100 miles from Formosa, the main island of Taiwan.

The islands are home to about 125,000 civilians in 6 townships and a couple dozen villages, while Taiwanese forces known as “frogmen” keep outposts on some of the smaller islands.  US Special Forces have stayed on the islands, which can be seen from Chinese shore, for an unspecified period of time, apparently as part of a “exchange” program with the Taiwanese the Pentagon had previously acknowledged.  It’s unlikely the troops traveled there without Pentagon knowledge.

Bless his heart, Junior tries so hard to sound intelligent.  “You know, if it’s 18 million and it’s good for the soundbite at the time, it’s worth 18 million, and if it’s worth hundreds of millions, uh, the next day for a different purpose, it’s worth hundreds of millions,” the son Donald Trump didn’t trust to head his company declares, demonstrating why it was a good choice by admitting that his father makes up his statements as he goes along.  “That’s what’s going on, and if you think it’s gonna stop by going after Donald Trump and seizing his assets for what even some very liberal law perfersers [sic] in New York are saying a victimless crime, the alleged victim is testifying on our behalf, ah, that there was nothing wrong, it doesn’t matter.  They’re willing to seize your assets.  The people screaming about fascism are acting an awful lot like fascists.”

Gillespie County, Texas had around 8,000 ballots cast in the March 5th Republican primary, and they just couldn’t handle it.  Struck with suspicion of electronic voting machines thanks to baseless fears stoked by Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, and various other conspiracists, county officials decided to hand-count all the ballots in this year’s elections.  As described by the Texas Tribune, it did not go well.

An hour after finally certifying the results of fourteen contested races and thirteen propositions earlier Thursday, Republican Party Chair Bruce Campbell had to call the county election commissioner to come back to recertify the results because he spotted an error in the final results.  And note that this correction happened more than two weeks after the primary was held, not on the night of the election like Trump wanted during the 2020 campaign.

A member of local Tea Party group–yeah, there’s still out there–was exceptionally cheery about the errors he made when he counted ballots, according to a video posted to Mike Lindell’s Frank Social platform–yeah, it’s still out there.

Donald Trump, Jr.’s personal step-Oedipal complex Kimberly Guilfoyle sports an Elvira cosplay look at a congressional fundraiser which, by the attire, was held at an S&M club. Guilfoyle–who was a fundraising co-chair for the 2020 Trump campaign who promised to give lapdances to the top donor at campaign events–apparently wants to help ease the Trump campaign’s cash crunch one dollar at a time.

As he was making unsupported claims of widespread fraud, Donald Trump’s Social Security Administration began assessing fines on around 100 elderly and disabled recipients without advising them of the penalties, racking up more than $10 million in fines, the Washington Post reports.

The investigation, done by the Department of Justice Inspector General because the responsibility for notifying the alleged fraudsters was the duty of the SSA’s Inspector General’s office headed by Trump appointee Gail Ennis, found in 2018, the Agency’s Civil Monetary Penalty Program stopped notifying subjects under investigation for fraud but continued to assess fines and accrue interest on the fines.  A Trump appointee, Ennis had never led an investigative agency, but in a seven-month program in 2019, months after taking office, she authorized $11.5 million in fines for 83 people who had not been contacted.

After suspending the Civil Monetary Penalty Program, the White House asked the Council of the Inspectors General on Integrity and Efficiency, an independent federal agency overseeing the network of federal Inspectors General, to review the conduct of Ennis’s office.  Ennis has implored the CIG to drop the probe writing, “We believe DOJ OIG has no authority to make unprecedented, programmatic recommendations to [the Social Security Administration],” a lawyer for the agency wrote. “It is disappointing that our concerns, which have government-wide implications, are not being taken seriously.”

A Republican in the Florida legislature notarized a letter purportedly from a professor with Ivy League credentials at the Christian university her family owns to support the school’s effort to get accreditated, but the professor says he never worked at the institution and the signature is a bad forgery, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

When Central Christian University applied for state certification in 2021, it included a list of faculty that included alumni from Ivy League universities, but five of the people on the list say they have no affiliation with the school. The names continued to appear in the school’s 2023-24 catalog as current members of the faculty.

On a form notarized by now-state legislator Carolina Amesty, the school submitted documentation allegedly signed by Robert Shaffer, a Ph.D. from the University of Florida, attesting to his employment in August 2021.  Shaffer, however, told the Sentinel that if needed, he would swear in a court that he did not sign any document from the University or from Amesty, and that the signature was not his.  Three handwriting analysts contacted by the paper concluded the handwriting wasn’t Shaffer’s but matched Amesty’s style.  Amesty was elected to the legislature in 2022.

This is kind of too complicated to recompose so we’ll just copy verbatim what the New York Times reports about the implications of the fine print to a memo disgraced former President Trump’s campaign sent out to donors: “the first $6,600 donated will go to Mr Trump’s campaign. The next $5,000 will go to his Save America PAC, which paid more than $50 million in legal and investigation-related bills for Mr Trump in 2023. The $5,000 amount is the maximum that federal rules say can be contributed to Save America by an individual. After that, the RNC gets the next $413,000, followed by dozens of state parties. In practice, what that means is that even modestly large contributors – anything above $6,600 – will fund the account that Mr Trump has used to defray legal costs.”

The bottom line is if you donate $11,601 then the Republican National Committee gets $1. If you donate the max then they obviously get significantly more, but they’re third in line after the PAC that’s the been paying Trump’s criminal defense bills. Open up those checkbooks, cocksuckers!

Five-times indicted Dem New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez is taking his rumored George Santos-like plan to raise money for his legal defense official as he announced Thursday he’s skipping the primary and running for reelection as an “independent Democrat,” per NBC’s Sahil Kapur.

“I am hopeful that my exoneration will take place this summer and allow me to pursue my candidacy as an independent Democrat in the general election [if I’m not in prison],” Gold Bars Bob said.

“Unlike the Democrats, who are KILLING SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE by allowing the INVASION OF THE MIGRANTS, I will NOT, under any circumstance, allow either of these two precious GEMS to be even touched under a Trump Administration. Biden is killing them both with the INVASION, while at the same time destroying our Country!” writes fat former President Trump on Truth Social, plainly trying to walk back the dumb shit he said on CNBC last week. The Republican Study Committee’s dumbass proposal to raise the retirement age couldn’t have helped either.

The Never Trump Republican Study Group led by Rep. Kevin Hern decides now would be a great moment to raise the Social Security retirement age, 7 months before the critical November 5th election. They're trying to defeat Trump— and President Trump must promise he and the GOP…

— Lou Dobbs (@LouDobbs) March 21, 2024

Here’s Lou Dobbs shitting his pants over it this morning, would bet that he got Donald on the phone at some point after that. Also might’ve been the Biden Administration jumping on it too with a statement that read “This extreme budget will cut Medicare, Social Security, and the Affordable Care Act. It endorses a national abortion ban. The Republican budget will raise housing costs and prescription drugs costs for families. And it will shower giveaways on the wealthy and biggest corporations. Let me be clear: I will stop them.” Just too bad Trump didn’t abuse Hern directly.

After that the fat bastard posted “JUST OUT THAT CROOKED JOE BIDEN, THE WORST AND MOST CORRUPT PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE USA, IS LEADING (AND LEAKING!) THE WEAPONIZATION OF GOVERNMENT AGAINST HIS POLITICAL OPPONENT, ME!” which, in the likely event he was talking about the transcript of a January 6th Committee interview with his valet, it was actually a MAGA Republican Congressman, Barry Loudermilk, who published that transcript.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan’s already shitty week just got a little bit worse as the lawsuit he filed Thursday against the Justice Department to compel testimony by two tax attorneys he subpoenaed last year knowledge about Hunter Biden something something has been assigned to DC Circuit Judge Ana Reyes, a Biden appointee, Politico’s Josh Gerstein reports.

Tennessee Senate Republicans on Monday passed a bill claiming “the federal government or other entities acting on the federal government’s behalf or at the federal government’s request may conduct geoengineering experiments by intentionally dispersing chemicals into the atmosphere, and those activities may occur within the State of Tennessee” and thus prohibits the “intentional injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of chemicals, chemical compounds, substances, or apparatus within the borders of this state into the atmosphere with the express purpose of affecting temperature, weather, or the intensity of the sunlight,” the Oak Ridger reports.

Maybe it’s a bit of a reach to call the bill a ban on chemtrails, which canonically is a Deep State mind control op rather than a Deep State weather control op. Still, as the article quotes from multiple experts, what these assholes are trying to ban does not exist nor is it even on the drawing board, and we’ll add that even if/when it does, Tennessee law could do fuck all to stop a future federal government from seeding the atmosphere with some chemical agent to mitigate global warming.

The House Judiciary Committee on Thursday were marking up a set of bills, among them HR 7187, the “Protection of Women in Olympic and Amateur Sports Act,” which “prohibits a person whose sex is male from participating in an amateur athletic competition that is designated for females, women, or girls” and predictably got into talk of inspecting genitals and then even more predictably into that masterfully delivered burn from Eric Swalwell as you see with Jim Jordan’s grim reaction above.

Fat-then President Trump told then-Vice President Mike Pence on January 6th, 2021 that the veep would forever doomed in Republican politics (he wasn’t wrong) if he did not get in the way of certifying the results of the 2020 election, the New York Times reports citing the testimony of a person described only as a “White House valet” to the House January 6th Select committee.

“Mike, this is a political career killer if you do this,” Trump told Pence in the Oval Office. Later that day, when handed a note informing him that a civilian had been shot in the middle of the riot at the Capitol, Donald was utterly unconcerned. “I just remember seeing it in front of him,” the valet said of a note card Trump was given bearing news of the casualty as he watched the mayhem on TV. “I don’t remember how it got there or whatever. But there was no, like, reaction.”

The valet was unnamed and we have no idea whether or not he’s Walt Nauta, Trump’s now co-conspirator in the classified documents theft case. The transcript of the interview with the House January 6th Select Committee was one of a set withheld in deference to the White House and Homeland Security as the committee wound down with the end of the 117th Congress, surfacing now as part of traitor-adjacent MAGA Congressman Barry Loudermilk’s investigation of the investigation. “It took a whole lot of work to get these,” Loudermilk told the Times, conceding that “some testimony in it that may not be favorable to Trump. We’re putting it all out there, not doing what the select committee did, and putting things out there that will be favorable to our side.”

US Attorney General Merrick Garland on Thursday told Politico that it would’ve been “absurd” for him to withhold entirely or force deletions to the cunty and largely false editorializing about Biden’s mental state in documents fuckup investigation special counsel Robert Hur’s final report.

“The idea that an attorney general would edit or redact or censor the special counsel’s explanation for why the special counsel reached the decision the special counsel did – that’s absurd,” Garland said, even though that’s more or less what Bill Barr did to Robert Mueller’s report.

Anyway Garland’s right given the absolute shitstorm that would 100 percent definitely had happened if he had forced edits as Hur no doubt would’ve gone running to Jim Jordan and James Comer to have a round-the-clock Fox News circlejerk about a cover-up and all that shit that would still be going on by this point. The MSM and right wing media had their fun for a few days and got bored talking about Biden’s age. Then came the State of the Union and Hur’s flop of a hearing, so it’s basically water under the bridge. Garland’s original sin was caving to the MAGA chodes to be “balanced” while Jack Smith was investigating Trump too when the Biden documents story first broke. If he had just held out for a few weeks until Mike Pence’s own document fuckup came out then it would’ve been fine. But if he really had to do it then he could’ve at least picked a Bush or Clinton appointee instead of a smarmy fucking punk-ass Trumpster like Hur.

Donald, I’m glad you asked. pic.twitter.com/janV4f4L3p

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) March 21, 2024

Huh. It’s almost as though you could have seen this ad from the Biden campaign coming after Trump’s fanboys and then the fat fuck himself have lately been telling voters to ask themselves if they’re better off than they were four years ago. Especially since they started this month which was, if we’re remembering correctly, when the COVID-19 virus began spreading rapidly across the United States and the death toll quickly skyrocketed as people succumbed to the infection.

Well let’s see how this goes. Maybe the Trump campaign and their propagandists will just try to ignore it and pretend the pandemic didn’t happen. Or maybe they’ll start a whole counter-op and try to litigate it at a molecular level like they did with that “bloodbath” shitshow. Here’s hoping for the second one, where they just find new and interesting ways to make it worse for them, just like Donald himself did four years ago. Only this time Americans won’t be suffering as much.

Dem Maine Congressman Jared Golden and Pennsylvania Republican Brian Fitzpatrick on Thursday blocked pay raises for members in the 2024 annual spending bill, Politico’s Nick Wu reports.

Kind of fucking stupid and short-sighted. Members of Congress should get paid at the very minimum $1 million a year. Now why would National Zero print something that ridiculous? An increase in pay lowers the incentive to quit and go work in lobbying as the mere prospect of future potential earnings working for corporate interests influences currently serving members. It would also reduce the incentives to engage in more garden-variety corruption like insider trading, bribery, taking gold bars and a Mercedes from the Egyptian government, et cetera.

Of course a raise like that would absolutely have to be paired with far, far stricter public disclosure requirements, and personal scrutiny on the level of what CIA agents face. Pay should also be tied to performance, like any delay in funding the government or failure to pass any bill that the other chamber passed with more than 60 percent support should result in immediate pay freezes.

Higher pay, deeper colonsocopies, and more pain for fucking off from the job is the way to go.

Michigan MAGA lawyer Stefanie Lambert surrendered to cops in the Great Lakes State on Thursday, after two weeks on the run that included another arrest in DC at a hearing where she was defending QAnon freak former Overstock.com CEO Patrick Byrne in the defamation lawsuit brought by Dominion Voting Systems, CNN’s Marshall Cohen reports. It’s not clear why she turned herself in rather than being extradited or transported back to Michigan to face the warrant for skipping out on her court date in the criminal case against her for tampering with a stolen Dominion tabulator.