Kansas Republicans over the weekend kicked back with Ted Nugent and kicked terribly at a karate dummy dressed like President Biden at an event in Johnson County, the Kansas Reflector reports.

Here’s your twice-yearly reminder that this shit is fucking stupid and needs to stop already, but only if Daylight Saving Time is year round. We must not suffer getting rid of it altogether, which would suck worse than this one week or so of increased car crashes and heart attacks.

Karla Jacinto, the woman whose story Alabama Senator Katie Britt appropriated for her Lifetime audition-style monologue Thursday night, tells CNN Britt was lying about the circumstances of their meeting and is tired of assholes like Britt using her story for political gain.

“I hardly ever cooperate with politicians, because it seems to me that they only want an image. They only want a photo – and that to me is not fair,” said Jactino. “I work as a spokesperson for many victims who have no voice, and I really would like them to be empathetic: all the governors, all the senators, to be empathetic with the issue of human trafficking because there are millions of girls and boys who disappear all the time. People who are really trafficked and abused, as she [Britt] mentioned. And I think she [Britt] should first take into account what really happens.”

Trump: There is a lot you can do in terms of cutting Social Security and Medicare pic.twitter.com/wYb19U2u8p

— Biden-Harris HQ (@BidenHQ) March 11, 2024

Disgraced former President Trump joined CNBC’s “Squawk Box” over the phone Monday, which of course was a rambling mess. It’s still going on but among the lowlights so far were the hosts asking a question about Bitcoin ETFs, trying to get him to endorse the crypto industry which ended up with the fat fuck rambling about how much a signed pair of his $400 sneakers sold for at auction, calling Facebook the “enemy of the people” while walking back on his crusade to ban TikTok and saying Mark Zuckerberg should go to prison over the 2020 election, saying he would figure out other ways to save American families money though taxes because he’s all in on putting a 10 percent tariff on imports from China, and all sorts of other bullshit. The hosts have to keep interrupting him.

What’s fun about listening to him being unable to answer simple questions this is imagining all the Wall Street assholes who watch this channel popping an Alka-Seltzer knowing that electing this fat demented fuck – who once again defamed rape victim EJ Carroll on the tail end of the interview – is their one and only hope for major tax cuts and deregulation over the next four years.

Their hostile takeover of the Republican National Committee complete, fat former President Trump’s campaign have assigned lawyer and former RNC executive and Trump White House foreign aid appointee Sean Cairncross to “watch the money” at the national party, a source tells Axios, with Cairncross’s mandate ostensibly to do a deep dive into expenses and cut off vendors who aren’t pulling their weight. What that actually means in practice is anyone’s guess, though it’s fun to imagine the worst and that Cairncross will fuck things up for down-ballot GOP campaigns by funneling too much money to Trump’s and dicking over the wrong vendors.

The Democratic Senate Majority PAC, called simply “Senate Majority PAC” is gearing up to spend $65 million in Ohio to back Senator Sherrod Brown, $42 million in Pennsylvania behind Senator Bob Casey, $14 million in Wisconsin on Senator Tammy Baldwin, $23 million in Arizona to back Congressman Ruben Gallego vs Kari Lake, and $14 million in Michigan to boost Congresswoman Elissa Slotkin to hold retiring Senator Debbie Stabenow’s seat – all on top of $45 million in Montana for Jon Tester and $36 million in Nevada for Jacky Rosen, the Washington Post reports.

“In 2024, a woman’s access to abortion, health care coverage for preexisting conditions, and the preservation and strengthening of Medicare and Social Security are all on the ballot,” PAC President JB Poersch said in a statement. “That’s why we’re placing the largest ad reservations in Senate history, to remind voters exactly what’s at stake this election… Republicans have chosen to put forward a mass of unvetted, shady, corrupt, and wildly out of touch Republicans who care more about lining their own pockets than serving the people. This massive television and digital investment will allow us to reach voters where they are and hold Republicans accountable.”

Garth Brooks on Nashville honky-tonk serving Bud Light after backlash: 'Let's try love, it's a good place' https://t.co/At215wKRXH

— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 11, 2024

“Has there EVER been a WORSE HOST than Jimmy Kimmel at The Oscars. His opening was that of a less than average person trying too hard to be something which he is not, and never can be. Get rid of Kimmel and perhaps replace him with another washed up, but cheap, ABC ‘talent,’ George Slopanopoulos,” the Man with the Tiny Hands Donald Truth trumped… um, er… Trump truthed. He would make everybody on stage look bigger, stronger, and more glamorous. Also a really bad politically correct show tonight, and for years – Disjointed, boring, and very unfair. Why don’t they just give the Oscars to those that deserve them. Maybe that way their audience and TV ratings will come back from the depths. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

Wait… George Slopano– I mean, Stephanopoulos?  Why is Trump suddenly picking on the news host and Clinton White House figure?  Oh, maybe it’s because Stephanopoulos embarrassed Trump’s latest acolyte, Nancy Mace:

National Zero isn’t typically on the British Royals beat, partly because we don’t cover reality show stars and they’re not that unusual for rich people, but here’s an exception:  The major press agencies have issued a removal notice for a photo they distributed that was released by the royal family purportedly taken by Prince William showing Kate, the Princess of Wales, posing with her children following abdominal surgery, saying the photo shows signs that it was altered before it was released.

According to NBC News, the photo was first published on the official social media account of the Prince and Princess of Wales but people quickly started noting inconsistencies and oddities in the photo including sections that appeared unnaturally blurred and body parts that seemed out of proportion.  Kate hasn’t been seen in public since Christmas, and she reported was hospitalized for two weeks in January for surgery.

Photo manipulation wasn’t unheard of in the Trump administration, who did everything from cropping photos of his inauguration to make his crowd size seem larger to editing video to allege a member of the media hit a White House staffer.

A group of pro-Trump Wisconsin Republicans has collected enough signatures to force a recall vote on state Assembly Leader Robin Vos, hoping to oust the long-time Party leader from his Assembly seat because they deem him insufficiently MAGA, Politico reports.

The ouster stems from Vos’s refusal to challenge or nullify the state’s 2020 election results, allowing Wisconsin’s Electoral College vote to be certified for Democrat Joe Biden.  “With more than 10,000 signatures on our recall petition, they’ve said it loud and clear: they’re tired of the status quo and demand new representation,” the leader of the effort said in a statement, noting the effort far surpassed the 6,850 signature required.

But the signature effort may be moot because of uncertainty over Wisconsin’s congressional district map, which has not been finalized because of obstruction from the GOP-led legislature.  Because Vos’s district may be redrawn from the one used to obtain the signature, many of the signatures may be voided when the recall petition is considered.

While plenty of naysayers among the Democrats and the media were impressed in the immediate aftermath of President Joe Biden’s performance at the State of The Union on Thursday night where he put to rest a lot of the concerns over his age and energy level, new concerns are starting to emerge among critics that he was actually too angry, hyperactive, and partisan during the speech.

Oh fuck you libs. We’re the media, not you. We’re setting the narrative here. No, we’re not telling you who these “critics” are, we’re just telling you the concerns. They’re growing. Because we’re watering them. We spent a shit ton of man-hours watering the “Biden is too old” plant and then he just damn near stomped it to death. Before that it was “Biden is corrupt because House Republicans are investigating him” and that incompetent fucking hillbilly James Comer stomped on it himself.

Are you done? Ahem… The hope among Democrats was that the speech could mark a turning point in a campaign that has seen Trump leading in many head-to-head polls commissioned by major media outlets. But experts in the media were quick to pump the brakes on any comeback given the media narrative of former President Trump leading in many head-to-head polls commissioned by major media outlets. Those polls, media polling experts say, will paint a picture of an electorate shaped by a media narrative that Biden is far less cool, calm, and collected publicly than Trump.

Voters and media experts alike are concer- MAINTAINING BALANCE IN POLITICAL JOURNALISM IS SO MUCH HARDER THAN IT LOOKS, OKAY? YOU LIBS DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT SO SHUT UP! WE’RE JUST GOING TO REMOVE THE COMMENT SECTIONS LIKE THE ATLANTIC, CNN, ABC NEWS, THE HILL, POLITICO, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER MAJOR SITES DID IF YOU CAN’T AGREE WITH US! JUST TRY US YOU LEFTIST MOTHERFUCKERS!

National Zero will resume our regular coverage now that we’ve voiced what we think a silent (but very real) crisis in the diseased hive mind of the mainstream media sounds like right about now.

Right at the moment Alabama Senator Katie Britt on Thursday was sitting in her kitchen melodramatically telling Americans how they “wouldn’t be OK” with her deeply misleading story about a sex-trafficked woman being brutally raped in a “in a third-world country. This is the United States of America, and it’s past time we start acting like it,” a former Republican Alabama state Senate staffer/VP of a county Young Republicans chapter was under arrest for murder, with the local DA later adding a “sexual torture with an inanimate object” charge to the case, WHNT reports.

No further details were made available about the accusations against Alabama state Senator Tom Butler’s former campaign manager/office staffer Kyle Lewter, 36, in the death of 54 year-old Derek Walls, other than that Walls was found dead at his home. Probably on purpose and for the better as the “sexual torture” charge being tacked on after the murder count says enough itself and we don’t want to be printing the specifics here. We already get that Lewter is a sick fucking animal.

WHNT has a pic of him with Gov Kay Ivey and mentions ones of him with Britt’s old boss, former Senator Richard Shelby, Congressman Dale Strong, the state House Speaker, so on and so forth.

Congressmoron Nancy Mace on Sunday got pretty heated with ABC’s George Stephanopoulos about her support for fat former President Trump, being a victim of rape herself. And by “heated,” we mean stupid. It was very on-brand the way she made a complete asshole of herself.

This stupid moment came just after Bartiromo claimed she “had a friend the other day tell me she was standing at a food truck, two gentlemen approached her. One had tattoos all over his face. They looked like illegals, she said, and one had a clipboard and said to her, hello, do you want to sign up to be a Democrat.”

President Joe Biden’s campaign raised $10 million in the first 24 hours after Thursday night’s State of The Union address, NBC News reports on the fruits of a successful performance and beating Trump’s $7 million haul that came after he got indicted for paying off a pornstar last year.

“Ten million in 24 hours. To quote the boss, that’s a BFD,” said campaign manager Julie Chavez-Rodriguez in a statement that also touted $1.5 million raised on Wednesday. “We thank our grassroots who are motivated more than ever to reelect President Biden and Vice President Harris. The President’s State of the Union address reminded so many of our supporters who is fighting for them, and the stakes of this election for our freedoms, our rights, and our democracy.”

Scumbag Trump minion Kellyanne Conway is lobbying Republicans in Congress to vote against forcing Chinese-owned company ByteDance to sell TikTok, Politico reports on the dumbest shit ever.

The Department of Justice investigators have interviewed a number of witnesses relating to the January 5th blowout of a “door plug,” a fuselage panel that replaces an emergency exit door, from an Alaska Airlines Boeing 737 Max jet, the Washington Post reports, and a grand jury has already been empaneled.

There might be a few things to investigate, besides reports from other operators of the airplane that similar panel insertions had loose bolts or were missing bolts altogether.  As NPR reports, in a letter sent to Democratic Senator Maria Cantwell, a Boeing executive said that after an extensive search, employees at the company were unable to find documentation related to the installation of the door plug, saying “the documents required by our processes were not created when the door plug was opened.”  How convenient.

President Biden and fat former President Trump will hold dueling rallies in Georgia on Saturday evening, with Joe in Atlanta at 6:15 PM EDT and Donald at 5 PM in scumbag Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s hometown of Rome. Even if Trump’s starting earlier, fuck him. Biden gets top billing here.

A significant fire at a cannabis processing facility near downtown Los Angeles that sent billowing smoke over the city on Saturday morning was put out in just under an hour by more than 140 firefighters who will presumably fail the next drug test, KTLA Los Angeles reports.

It’s unclear if the operation in the two-story, 69-year-old building was a licensed production plant or one run by an illicit supplier.  In a related story, crime was down in downtown Los Angeles on Saturday, while food delivery drivers reported record orders, so we hear.