“It’s been the honor and privilege of my life to represent the people of Eastern Washington in Congress. They inspire me every day. They are part of the strength and soul of America – the greatest experiment in self-governance the world has ever known. After much prayer and reflection, I’ve decided the time has come to serve them in new ways. I will not be running for re-election to the People’s House,” and blah blah blah writes House Energy and Commerce Committee Chairwoman Cathy McMorris-Rodgers in a statement announcing she’s calling it quits.

The running total at this point we think is 18 House Republicans have left or will leave Congress to 14 Dems, not counting the ones who are running for Senate (and have an at least semi-realistic shot in the primary/general). The 14 Democrats also includes Dean Phillips because lol what a dipshit.

Anyway McMorris-Rodgers fucking off during her first term leading a powerful committee (she would’ve had two more) while in the majority says a lot and nothing good about the House GOP.

Disgraced former President Trump told reporters on Thursday that if the Supreme Court doesn’t grant him criminal immunity for inciting a violent coup attempt then all presidents could be subject to blackmail, kind of like how he’s threatening to prosecute Biden if Biden doesn’t fire Jack Smith and order the cases against Trump dropped. The fat bastard also called his incitement of that insurrection “beautiful” and “heartwarming,” and claimed he had confidence in Mike Johnson.

DC federal Judge Amit Mehta on Thursday rejected former Trump White House economic douchebag and shitty board game entrepreneur Peter Navarro’s appeal for a stay of his sentencing and ordered him to report to the clink on the date and time the federal Bureau of Prisons tells him to.

The White House on Thursday completed their review of Biden classified docs fuckup special counsel Robert K Hur’s final report and waived any claims to executive privilege, leaving the Department of Justice free at any time to publish Hur’s findings, ABC News reports.

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham showed up late to a Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing on Thursday, telling the committee that he got held up in a meeting about tying border enforcement funding to foreign aid to Ukraine and Israel. That’s what the Senate are working on.

Brazilian federal police on Thursday seized disgraced former President Jair Bolsonaro’s passport and arrested a number of his aides as part of an investigation into an alleged coup attempt after he lost the 2022 election, Reuters reports and no that doesn’t make us look bad at all while Bolsonaro’s fat orange buddy’s lawyer argues his client didn’t try to overthrow the government.

Thursday is the big day for how the 6-3 MAGA US Supreme Court figures their way out of yet another fucking mess disgraced former President Trump has handed them as the fat bastard faces off against Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold and the Centennial State voters who months ago brought the challenge that presents a clear, albeit remote, danger to the Orange Autocrat.

Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith on Wednesday requested asshole MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon allow them to file an exhibit under seal because it “describes in some detail threats that have been made over social media to a prospective Government witness and the surrounding circumstances, and the fact that those threats are the subject of an ongoing federal investigation being handled by a United States Attorney’s Office,” ABC News reports.

As to what it actually means is anyone’s guess but you would think that if some regular MAGA asshole would threaten, say, the Mar-a-Lago IT guy in a rant on Truth Social then that’s the FBI and the US Attorney’s office’s jurisdiction, not Smith’s since that wouldn’t be material to Smith’s case. Which raises the possibility that the threats came from someone connected to Trump and…

Yeah, it’s probably Roger Stone.

After getting “a TON of blowback after” in the few hours since news first broke that House Speaker Mike Johnsons plans to formally endorse Freedom Caucasian Matt Rosendale in the Montana Senate GOP primary, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman now reports that Johnson has informed Senate Republican leadership that he’ll back down. “Another embarrassing reversal for Johnson,” Sherman writes.

Disgraced former Trump White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows really did take up an immunity offer from Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith on October 20th, 2023, the New York Times reports, confirming ABC News’s story in a deep dive into the tensions swirling in “Trump World” (arghhh that media sobriquet fucking sucks) over Marky’s level of cooperation with federal prosecutors in the still-ongoing investigation into the failed post-2020 election coup attempt.

It’s very long (gifted article in the link), but one part that sticks out early is how, after ABC News broke the story, Meadows immediately called spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan to deny it was true – which Jordan’s spokesman denies taking place at all. Might be significant.

Opinion | Why gas stove owners should still be worried https://t.co/W3KklKniNk

— Fox News (@FoxNews) February 8, 2024

A new Newsday/Siena College survey finds Dem former Congressman Tom Suozzi leading Republican Mazi Pilip 48 to 44 percent among likely voters in next week’s special election to replace Cameo star George Santos in New York’s 3rd District on Long Island. Depending on how fast ailing scumbag Steve Scalise can return to work while getting cancer treatment, the outcome of the race could determine whether Homeland Security Secretary Alex Mayorkas ends up getting impeached.

Jesus dork House Speaker Mike Johnson plans to buck his counterpart Cocaine Mitch McConnell in Montana and endorse Freedom Caucasian Matt Rosendale against McConnell and NRSC chair Steve Daines’s anointed golden boy Tim Sheehy after Rosendale enters the Republican primary race to take on Dem Senator Jon Tester on Friday, Punchbowl News reports on more GOP dumbassery.

Rosendale already lost to Tester in 2018 before getting elected to the House in 2022 and the seat is obviously a prime target to flip red, raising the question of whether Rosendale might be kind of strong-arming Johnson given he was one of the eight who took down Kevin McCarthy.

The drama comes just days after MAGA shitposter and Rosendale hater Alex Bruesewitz – who the Daily Beast reported on Wednesday is considering a primary challenge against Republican Wisconsin Congressman Mike Gallagher for the sin of voting against impeaching DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas – was blocked from speaking at a Montana GOP event in a sign that Rosendale’s support in The Big Sky State might be more formidable than the more DC establishment-ish Steve Daines might have anticipated when he crowned the young Navy SEAL veteran Sheehy.

Russia’s Central Election Commission ruled Thursday that anti-war presidential candidate Boris Nadezhdin was ineligible for the March ballot as at least 10,000 of the 105,000 signatures he submitted on his petition were invalid as if those details actually matter, Bloomberg reports.

pic.twitter.com/beSZ3lfyrH

— Sarah Palin (@SarahPalinUSA) February 7, 2024

Of course Putin’s Russia is still awesome in MAGA world, even if they would do the same thing to the opposition as Biden supposedly himself did to disgraced former President Trump.

Because he was one of three Republicans who sincerely voted against the impeachment of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas–the fourth Republican who voted to allow the resolution to be re-introduced–Wisconsin Republican Congressman Mike Gallegher has earned the ire of a hopeful MAGA-centric primary challenger, the Daily Beast reports.

Who’s stepping to the plate to challenge the Republican who dared to stand up for the Constitution and not cave to craven GOP partisan bloodlust?  State political consultant Alex Bruesewitz, who had taken the lead in defending Donald Trump against upstarts in the state like Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley, will serve as the kneecap breaker.

“Mike is completely out of touch.  He is not the type of fighter that our party needs right now. And the voters of Wisconsin’s [8th district] will have the opportunity to hold him accountable,” said Bruesewitz, who had expressed interest in the seat if Gallegher had opted to challenge Democrat Tammy Baldwin for the Senate seat in 2022, but Gallegher decided to run for re-election to his seat in the House.

The most dominant candidate in the 2024 primaries can declare victory as his next closest challenger has finally ended her primary campaign:  Author and crystal enthusiast Marianne Williamson has put a fast and merciful end to her second self-indulgent campaign for the White House, Politico reports.

There was never any threat to Biden’s reelection campaign brought by Williamson or Biden’s other nominal challenger, Minnesota Congressman Dean Phillips.  Even in New Hampshire, where Biden’s campaign boycotted the early-date primary, Williamson could only garner 4% of the vote, while Biden took nearly two-thirds of the ballots in a write-in campaign.

In a redux of 2014, President Joe Biden is reportedly considering executive actions to address the influx of migrants at the southern border, a move his previous boss used when then-Speaker John Boehner killed a bipartisan deal on immigration, according to NBC News.

Understanding the GOP would act in its own political interest and not in the best interests of the nation, Biden has been developing options to use executive orders to address the issue after the inevitable failure of Republicans.

“The administration spent months negotiating in good faith to deliver the toughest and fairest bipartisan border security bill in decades because we need Congress to make significant policy reforms and to provide additional funding to secure our border,” the White House said in a statement.  “Today, Congressional Republicans chose to put partisan politics ahead of our national security and voted against what border agents have said they need. No regulatory actions would accomplish what the bipartisan national security agreement would have done for border security and the immigration system at large.”

“The border bill was just a government jobs bill for amnesty,” Jesse Watters says nonsensically.  (Seriously, that doesn’t make a bit of sense.). “Politicians wanted to hire four thousand asylum officers to rubberstamp asylum requests.  ‘Member the main qualification to hire anybody, especially an asylum officer, is equity says the binder.  Translation:  the DEI hires are approving every asylum request, and they grow the ranks of government unions and their dues go to Democrat Super PACs.  I guarantee you Biden’s DEI asylum officers probably taking kick backs from asylum applicants.  Li’l envelope under the table.  Yup, welcome to America!”

Nice equivocation:  “I guarantee you… probably taking kick backs…”  But what do you expect from professionally low-intelligence Jesse, who throws out a baseless conspiracy theory covering migrants, unions, corruption, DEI, and Joe Biden in an MTG-esque conspiracy theory?  Fox “News”–and they earned those quotation marks–should have learned 787.5 million times that they need to empower fact checkers.

Attorney General Merrick Garland notified Congress that Special Counsel Robert Hur completed his report on his investigation into President Biden’s handling of a handful of classified documents found to have been in his possession when he wasn’t in office, CNN reports.

Garland noted that the report is currently being reviewed by the White House Counsel’s office for potential issues of executive privilege before it gets released.  (To clarify:  the White House Counsel represents the Office of the President, not the person occupying the Oval Office.)  The report should be released to Congress by the end of the week, and reports indicate there will be no charges recommended.

“Some of [the bill’s opponents] may have policy differences.  Some of them have been very clear with me they have political differences with the bill,” Republican Oklahoma Senator James Lankford said in a floor speech before the Senate voted down the border security bill he negotiated.  “They say it’s the wrong time to solve the problem; we’ll let the presidential election solve the problem.  In fact, I had a popular commentator four weeks ago that I talked to that told me flat out, before they knew any of the contents of the bill…if you try to move a bill that solves the border crisis during this presidential year, I will do whatever I can to destroy you because I do not want you to solve this during the presidential election.  By the way, they have been faithful to this promise and have done everything they can to destroy me.”